Two and a Half Men.

Two and a Half Men

Charlie was out on trying to pick up chicks. He had gotten drunk and promised Alan that he would watch the brat, which he just remembered. He whipped out his cell phone, and called Berta.

Charlie:
“Hey Berta, it’s Charlie. It’s an emergency.”
“No, there’s no dead hooker this time.”
“No.”
“No.”
“Oh yeah, good times. But no! Listen! I need you to come in today and keep an eye on Jake. I promised Alan I wouldn’t abandon the twerp, but there’s this extremely attractive bimbo I’m trying to score here.”
“Fine, triple the normal rate, just get over there!”

Meanwhile…

Jake had realized that he was home alone. He took the opportunity to rummage through Charlie’s room, knowing he would find some kind of depraved treasure. He was looking in Charlie’s closet when he saw it. An enormous box, containing every kind of porn known to man. He grabbed the first DVD on the pile and ran to his room. He immediately popped it in and started playing it. He grabbed the box of Kleenex and lotion in the drawer next to his bed, and threw his trousers off.

The scene on the TV showed a large woman from behind. She was getting fucked in both holes by two guys. The camera started panning out and rotating. In a few seconds the scene left Jake flabbergasted. The first person he recognized was Charlie, and he was fucking the woman‘s ass. The second person, he realized with shock was his father, fucking her pussy. The camera gradually drifted towards the woman’s face, and Jake’s mind was blown as he saw the red hair, and the mean face he had come to know was contorted in ecstasy. It was the object of his fantasies for months now. It was Berta, and she was clearly cumming at the treatment she was receiving. He imagined that it was him fucking Berta in the ass, and he couldn’t take it anymore. He started cumming, and called out “Berta!”. Little did he know, Berta was standing in the doorway and saw everything.

“Not bad Zippy. Now how would you like to try the real thing?

Jake almost shit himself as her realized Berta had been watching him jerk off to her, and he almost passed out when his brain processed what she had said.

He finally got his mouth to work and said “It would be a dream come true”.

Berta smiled and walked into the room, slipping off her shirt as she went. She took off her jeans and to Jake’s delight, wasn’t wearing any panties.

She walked over to Jake and gently pushed him down on the bed, and climbed up after him. She turned so her cunt was positioned over his face. Jake, who had seen enough porn to understand her intent, eagerly started lapping at the crimson lined muff. It turned out he was a natural pussy eater, and Berta was pleasantly surprised. Maybe there’s hope for the pinhead after all, she thought.

Berta was getting worked up, and she soon focused her eyes on his dick. He didn’t have much hair yet, but she had seen him cum, and he had gotten some decent distance. It was about only 6 inches long, but it was very thick. Berta loved getting stretched by a nice, thick cock.

Jake was in heaven, reveling in the taste of the large housekeeper’s juices flowing into his mouth at the tongue thrashing she was receiving. He maneuvered his tongue and started fucking it in and out of her leaking cunt. His mind wandered back to the video he had just watched. He looked at the screen, realizing the video was still on. The scene had changed, and now depicted Berta, bound by many ropes and was hooked up to what appeared to be a “Fucking Machine” he had seen in other pornos. The machine had two massive dildos. They were positioned so that the larger one was pounding away at Berta’s absurdly stretched anus, and the smaller into her gaping vagina. Again, the camera backed out to reveal a much more shocking scene. The machine appeared to have a third dildo, smaller than the others. Jake couldn’t understand what he was seeing until he looked back at Berta’s still sopping hole. Under her clit was another orifice he had overlooked in his eagerness. Berta’s piss hole! He took one more glance at the TV, vacillating on whether or not he should go for it. The Berta on screen had her back arched and was nearly screaming “Yes! Yes! It’s so good! Cumming!!”, then her words were reduced to loud grunts and moans as she went careening over the edge.

This was all the motivation Jake needed, and he found the courage to take charge. He laid Berta down and immediately went to work lubricating his dick in her dripping cunt. He rubbed his cock up and down the length of her womanhood, teasing her into near madness. “Enough! Just do it already”, she nearly yelled at him.

He positioned himself at her urethra, and she didn’t seem to mind. Good enough for him! He started pushing himself into her pisshole, eliciting a low moan from the redhead. “You learn quick Zippy”, she said.

Jake, for the most part, was already oblivious to her words, and was lost in the sensation. He would have never imagined he could feel so at home in this large woman’s embrace, but he knew he never wanted to leave. His member was fully buried inside the housekeeper’s pisshole, and he had to concentrate to not blow his load right away, despite having just jerked off moments before.

When he thought he had regained enough of his composure to carry on, he slowly pulled out and buried himself fully in the next stroke. He was amazed at how well used the hole was. It seemed as if it had been custom tailored to fit his dick. He began fucking her more earnestly, earning more sounds of pleasure from Berta.

They were now fucking full-tilt. With each stroke Berta seemed to cry out louder. Jake knew he wouldn’t last much longer. He started playing with her clit, which was apparently all she needed. She came with a scream, and started squirting in time with Jake’s thrusts. The contractions proved way too much for Jake, and buried himself in her urethra. Streams of jizz came running out the sides of her pisshole, draining into her open cunt.

When she was finally coherent enough to talk, she said:

“Damn Zippy, that was real nice. We’ll have to do this again sometime.”.

“I’d love to take a whack at that sweet ass of yours, Berta”.

“You bet kid, I’d love that too”.