Flinch

Flinch

“Take away my fear Alec. Fill me with joy and hope again. I want no one but you.” The words were full of wanting and yet at the same time despair. Despair because of what had happened in the past that continued to haunt her today. “Are you sure Max?” I had to ask, you can’t rush someone into this after they have that kind of experience. She gave her best smile which was pitiful and small and nodded her head. “I’m sure.” He held her hands in his. She flinched. Her hands had leather gloves covering them. The leather was old and worn; they felt an odd kind of smooth under his fingers. He slowly pulled them off. He held her bare hands now. They were soft and felt much like silk.
Slowly he ran his hands up her arms. He unzipped her leather jacket. As it fell off her she flinched. She closed her eyes as Alec’s hands reappeared at hers. He gave them a gentle squeeze. She flinched. He moved his hands back up to her shoulders then very slowly let his hands travel down her back until he reached the end of her baggy turtle neck sweater. As he began to move it up her body she flinched so hard she jumped. He continued though, she had warned him that she would flinch. She had told him not to get scared and just continue on when that day came. If you stop, she said, you’ll never start again and I will always be afraid. He remembered all the tears she had cried, he couldn’t look up to her face, afraid to see more. She had another sweater on under the loose turtle neck. This one was tighter and revealed more of the beautiful figure she kept hidden. No one except Alec could really remember what she looked like now, the curves of her body and the swell of her breasts had faded from everyone else’s memory. It had been two years since anyone had seen her tight clothes. He cautiously pulled this sweater over her head. She had a thin long sleeved shirt on. God, she must cook under all these clothes, Alec thought to himself. He ran his hands back down her back only to feel her cringe.
He looked up into her eyes as he pulled the shirt over her head she didn’t flinch until the shirt was gone and she was left standing in a tank top. A tank top that she would call revealing now. I need those clothes back on, she thought, I feel naked…No I can do this, stand strong Max. Alec looked at the tank top musing, I though she threw all of these out. I had no clue she still wore them. This was an article of clothing she used to wear openly and proud. It showed off her perfect body in all the right ways, from breast to waist it fit her perfectly. She backed away from him when his hands clasped hers this time. She looked at an interesting spot on the floor a crimson blush covering her cheeks she felt his heated gaze and seemed to be embarrassed by it. He squeezed her hand mentally telling her that it was okay, and that there was no reason to be ashamed. He brought her hands to his mouth and kissed them softly. She jumped out of her skin hit the ceiling and fell back into her broken body. He put his hands on her shoulder and gently pulled her into his body. She stepped forward without anymore encouragement, reassuring Alec that this was really what she wanted.
He leaned down and kissed her right shoulder, just a peck, she flinched. Kissed her left shoulder, flinch. Kissed along her collar bone, little flinches. Kissed up the right side of her neck got to her ear. “Don’t worry. Relax. It’s okay, I’m Alec. You are beautiful. There is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s okay. Shhh. Relax.” He whispered the calming words into her before he took her earlobe in his mouth and gave it a gentle suck. She flinched…No, she shivered. And not one of those brrr, I’m cold shivers, but one of those, God Damn that feels good shivers. Finally getting a positive reaction. Good Max. He kissed his way down her neck and headed toward her chest, but at the first flinch he retreated back up to her other ear. Again he took her earlobe in his moth and felt the shiver run down her spine where his hands were resting. He nipped her ear lightly, he felt her jump, then was delighted to hear her moan. Mega-Progress. He kissed his way along her jawbone but as he reached her lips, she tried to back away. He held her gently knowing better than to let go, to let her get away. He brushed his lips against hers, flinch. He tried again, cringe. Tried again, flinch. Tried once more, a simple brush against her lips, she responded with pressure.
He kept his lips on hers. Alec sucked her bottom lip into his warm mouth, and was surprised to feel Max move closer into his body. That’s right Max, it’s just like our make-out sessions, only with less clothes. He felt her hands travel up his back and into his hair. One hand moved to stroke the barcode covering his neck eliciting a shiver from him. Her other hand went down his body and came to a rest on his lower back mirroring where Alec’s hands were on her. She slowly opened her mouth and it took all of Alec’s self control not to dive into her mouth and strip her body of these pesky clothes. But he knew better, he held back. Slowly he let his tongue glide into her mouth tasting her sweet strawberry flavor. He let his tongue explore her mouth and rumbled out a soft moan at how she felt. She moaned back her knees going weak under his meticulous attention.
She was lost in the sensations he was creating inside her mouth. She wiggled her body as close as she could get to his, trying to touch every inch of his body with hers. She temporarily forgot her fear. She felt Alec hard on her stomach, some things you just can’t control she thought to her self with a giggle. Her arousal growing stronger she began craving a friction that she knew only he could give. She ground her hips against him and they both let out a deep moan at the sensations it caused. Alec began to wage war and Max revealed and relaxed in the emotions assaulting her mouth. She ran both hands down his chest and reaching the hem of his dark blue shirt she lifted it off him. She opened her eyes and looked down at his perfect set of six pack abs covered in golden skin. She ran her hands down his heated flesh.
Alec watched Max explore his body with amazement showing clear through his eyes. Determination is a wonderful trait to have, look where it got us. She doesn’t seem to be afraid. And this is the most I have seen her aroused like…all the years I’ve known her, caused heat totally doesn’t count. I know the fire in her eyes and there is only one way to put that kind of fire out, and I’m not talking about a cold shower. Oh no. Max continued to move her hands down his chest until she reached the top of his denim jeans. She looked up for a brief second her fear returning. “It’s okay Max,” and with that said Alec leaned down and kissed her. Max’s hands were trembling but she got his pants unbuttoned and unzipped. Alec let his pants get pushed down as his hand moved to Max’s tank top and he got to the bottom of the shirt and lifted it up and over her head.
No flinch, no cringe, not even a shiver, she was fine. He looked up into her dark dilated eyes. Bra…I’ll fix that. One hand went behind Max’s back and conveniently unsnapped her bra while the other hand went down into her pants. Snap, pop, and zip and she was standing in front of Alec with nothing but her panties on. His name left her lips in nervous anticipation as he studied her body. “You’re gorgeous Maxie,” Alec whispered hoarsely in her ear before leaning down and taking a hard nipple into his mouth and giving it gentle suction, Max arched her back up under his careful attention. A few minutes, moans and gentle bites later Alec moved his mouth to the neglected nipple and gave it the same treatment.
Alec kissed his way back up to Max’s lips for a passionate kiss. Once his lips made contact with hers he picked her up in one smooth fluid motion. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled their bodies as close together as they could get. Alec’s knees found the bed and gently set Max down, not breaking their intense kiss. Max let her hands travel down Alec’s back until she found what she was looking for. Reaching her destination she felt silk boxer material slip under her fingers. She glanced downack ack silk boxers; she closed her eyes…Niiiice. She pushed them down and felt him wiggle out of them. Feeling a sudden shyness and a rush of fear Max broke the drugging kiss and covered her face with her hands. Alec lightly peeled her hands away from her face and kissed them.
He ran his hands down his lovers side until he reached her blue cotton underwear. He looked into her eyes and saw hesitation but she nodded her head after a second and he removed the last article of clothing that separated their bodies. He tenderly glided into the cradle of her thighs where she attentively accepted him her fear receding. He kissed along her collar bone until he felt her relax in his arms. In one smooth movement he slid into her body while she was relaxed. She flinched and promptly panicked. “No, no…” Flashback: over White hovering over her. His breath hitting her face as he plowed into her. She felt every tare and every tear all over again. “No, no stop, get off, no” she whimpered and cried lost in painful memories.
Alec wrapped his arms around her tense body, “Max, look at me. Max!” She looked up at his face not really seeing him, lost in her own hell. “Max, look into my eyes. I’m not white, I’m Alec. Look in my eyes Max.” She obeyed. Tears were still streaming down her face and she was shaking like a leaf in the wind but she saw him. She brought her hand up to his face and ran it over his comforting features. She stroked his cheek and ran her hand through his hair. “Alec?” she spoke is a small, scared, confuvoicvoice. She brought her hand down their bodies to where they were still intimately joined. To Alec this was oddly erotic but for Max it was something different all together. She’s looking for blood, Alec realized as she brought her hand back up to where she could she it clearly.
Alec took her hand in his, “You’re okay Max. It’s okay.” Max looked at him relief filling every pore of her body. Now know that she was not in danger she threw her arms around Alec hugging him tightly. His hips twitched involuntarily at her movements, and she paused suddenly. But then she surprised him by letting out a small barely audible giggle and kissing him. She wiggled her hips and he took he hint and began moving at a slow place. Sensation upon sensation was beginning to pile up in side of her and she whispered to Alec in a small voice “You can move faster…if you want.” And he gladly accepted her permission and picked up a faster pace. Soon her body was trembling around his. He looked into her eyes and kissed her. Her mouth opened to him and while with everything else she was being shy here she fought for dominance over him. After a long heated battle she won and began having her tongue mimic his movements. But shortly after they were an inch away from their breaking point and they had to break apart for air. Max looked at Alec her instincts mingling with her timid nature “Mine??” she asked in a minute voice. “Yours. I love you.” He said his voice strong. “I love you Alec.” And with that her body had reached its limit, she bit down in Alec’s shoulder as she came. The words, the muscles clenching, the pain hit Alec all at once and sent him spiraling into his own release. Her name sprung from his lips as his body collapsed. He lay on top of her his head resting in the crook of her neck. “I love you Alec. And thank you.” Max said once both their bodies calmed down and they were breathing steadily again. “I love you too. And anytime.” She laughed but her giggles turned to tears, “It’s okay Alec, I feel great. I’m happy for once, really happy.” “Me too.” He told her. Alec moved them so she was spooned against him wrapping his arms around her theythey both fell into a blissful slumber.

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