Down the Rabbit hole

*Hey guys! Sorry this chapter took so long, but i think it's worth it ^_^. Keep sending me those comments, you know I love them!!*

The band played light jazz music across the mahogany dance floor, which was littered with couples attempting to keep a beat. Tables surrounded the dance floor covered with fine white linen table clothes, and the warm tones in the room were only bettered by the delicious smells coming from the kitchen.

House and Thirteen sat at a table set comfortably close yet far away from the dance floor. House tried to let the music take him away from the current situation, but no matter how hard he tried he was always brought back to the present.

He sat with one arm slung around the back of the chair were his jacket lay discarded. His white button up had the top two buttons undone and was half untucked out of his khaki slacks. He had always hated dressing up. Thirteen, he noticed with a smirk, had relished the occasion.

Despite his indifference toward her, he had to admit that she looked lovely tonight. Her dark hair was curled slightly and pulled half up. It was a great look for her, but what made her look wonderful was the fashionable forest green strapless dress she was wearing. It brought out the color of her eyes beautifully.

Yet, even with an amazingly beautiful woman as his date, his thoughts were elsewhere.

"House? We both know this isn't a good idea," came the distant voice of Thirteen.

House looked at her, taking a few seconds to gather his thoughts. When he was finally able to put his characteristic smirk on his face he retorted.

"Well, we both know that mixing Vicodin and scotch isn't a good idea either, but I think i'm going to go ahead and do that also."

With that he took a big swig from his glass. Thirteen rolled her eyes and shook her head disapprovingly. House turned his attention back to the band. She was right, of course, he thought to himself. The last thing he needed to do was to antagonize Cuddy in the way he knew that this night was bound to cause. But his mind kept returning to the prospect of leaving her alone with Wilson.

He may be a good man, but it didn't take a genius to figure out that Wilson had... plans for Cuddy, and House simply could not stand that. He was slowly coming to realize that no man could have her. None. He wouldn't stand for it.

House suddenly heard a slow groan from Thirteen.

"What?" He said slightly agitated at having his thoughts disturbed yet again.

"Tonight really is going to be bad." She retorted brusquely.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because Cuddy looks amazing." As she responded she looked over his head smiled and waved at someone.

House turned and as he did his breath caught in his throat. She was torturing him. Her hair was curled beautifully around her elegant black dress. He watched her with his mouth slightly agape as she and Wilson caught sight of Thirteen and made their way over to the table.

Her movements were beautiful and fluid. She caught his eyes as she made her way across the room. He knew he was staring, but he didn't care. In fact, he couldn't have looked away if he had wanted to once her face began to flush in that predictable, yet incredibly appealing rose color.

He studied her figure as she sat down across the table from him. Wilson sat on his right. She seemed to be assessing him in like kind, which greatly intrigued him. He watched as her eyes moved from his face down to his slightly agape shirt to the edge of the table and the end of her line of vision back to his eyes.

When they met again, House couldn't resist quirking a devilish smile. He knew what was on her mind... and it fascinated him.

At the sight of his smile, Cuddy turned an even darker shade of red and finally looked away. She took a drink from the water glass already set at her seat, and pulled in a deep breath.

This was going to be fun.
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'Why does he have to look so fucking good?' Cuddy thought bitterly to herself.

'Why can't he look like any other crippled old man that comes into the hospital? Why does he have to look like a sex demon with his shirt open and hanging out like he'd just come from seducing some poor innocent girl?'

She suddenly wished she hadn't thought that last bit as images of House luring her into a dark room began to fill her mind. She took another drink of water. Thankfully, a voice broke the awkward silence.

"So, what's good here? I've heard rumors that the steak is delicious, but my info's from a bit of a shady source."

Cuddy smiled at Wilson. Thank god for him. She knew it was wrong to lead him on like this, but she needed an anchor... lest she get swept away in a lustful sea, a very pompous and indignant sea that she somehow managed to envision walking with a limp.

"Well, I heard that the lamb was wonderful. That's caught my eye, so I think i'm going to try that one." Came Thirteen

"Ohh," Replied Wilson. "That does look good. Now you've got me all confused, I can't seem to decide..."

"So are you two going to fuck right after dinner, or does he need to buy you a drink or two first?"

Cuddy choked on her water and began coughing and sputtering all over the place. Wilson sighed and brought a hand to his head in frustration.

"I was just wondering if after dinner drinks were in order for the two of you. I mean, I'm certainly going to try and get Thirteen here nice and liquored up before we make our way back to the room."

"Of course," retorted Cuddy bitterly. "I mean, how else do you expect to get women into bed with you? It's not like actually being nice to them, and letting them in a little bit will get you anywhere. It's so much more fun to play games with them all day and leave them by the way side as soon as you're done with them, right?" She said hotly.

House glared at her. "No, see I'd rather play the guarded career driven type who tries with all my might to never show an once of weakness. God forbid that one of my coworkers sees me in a vulnerable state, because I have such huge issues trusting people that I could never allow someone to see me even pretend to be weak. They would immediately try and swoop in and take all that I've worked for away from me, because God knows that a woman can't do a man's job."

In the back of her mind, Cuddy saw Wilson and Thirteen fidget in their seats, but she didn't care. The world around her had become slightly tinted red with her rage.

"Hmm, interesting tactic. See I'd rather ignore any type of feeling I have for people and try to push those who might actually care about me as far away as I possibly can so they can't see that I'm actually a sniveling little coward whose afraid to trust people!"

House slammed his hand on the table making Thirteen jump. Cuddy didn't flinch. The two stared at each other for a few more seconds before House said almost silently, "You're just as terrified as I am."

Cuddy's eyes narrowed in confusion. Had he just opened up to her? Had he really just admitted that he was afraid? Or was he still playing his game? The look on his face certainly was serious enough. He looked as if he were trying to dig into her head through her eyes, almost like he wanted to know if she was serious as much as he did. Wilson broke the silence.

"Well... um... as fun as this is, Thirteen, would you care to dance? I feel like... moving." He said awkwardly.

"Huh? Um, sure." she responded.

Cuddy noticed the two extra people at the table got up and moved to the dance floor. She couldn't take her eyes off of House, and it looked like he was having difficulty doing the same. Was he serious? Could he really be telling her why he'd been behaving that way?

The silence was deafening. She was aware that the band was still playing, that there were people all around her still talking, and Wilson and Thirteen were moving around the dance floor not more than twenty feet from were they sat, but she heard nothing.

She wanted to believe him. She wanted with everything inside her to believe that he was trying to tell her that he did care for her, but was too scared to admit it. Every beat of her heart wanted to tell him how terrified she was that he was going to hurt her, that he would just laugh at her after she believed him and leave her heart broken and bleeding on the floor...but she couldn't bring herself to risk it.

She slowly lowered her eyes and looked away as she quietly said "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't look away from me, Cuddy" he said gently.

She looked back at him and felt her heart begin to beat out of her chest with the look of intensity that he gave her.

"You're scared to death of this... and so am I."

Her heart kept wanting to jump out of her throat. A million emotions whirled through her head at once. Fear of embarrassment, hope, sorrow, passion, and confusion were just a few of the most immediate things that went through her head.

The volume of confusion and emotion, however, began to become to much for her. She felt her eyes watering, her stomach turning, and her breathing speed. She couldn't handle this.

"I have to go." she said as she stood and walked out of the restaurant.
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Wilson let out a sigh. "Well, there goes Cuddy. That didn't last long."

The pair had been silently observing in the background. They had maintained a safe distance, so they were unable to hear the exchange, but it was clear that Cuddy had become upset very quickly and had run off.

Wilson spun Thirteen around to give her a look.

"Yep, she's going through the doors right now... House is staring after her.... Oh, come on you idiot, go after her... yes... yes!... yes!!! He's running after her!"

She looked up at Wilson who turned again, and saw that she was right. House was indeed making his way to the door as fast as his leg would allow. He breathed a sigh of relief for his old friend and turned back to Thirteen.

She was gently smiling at him. He couldn't help but notice the proximity of the situation. She felt good in his arms. He smiled back at her.

"Well," she said "we do have the reservations. Would you still like dinner?"

He laughed lightly and nodded. "Just cause they're having a bad night doesn't mean we should."

With that, they headed to table, still hand in hand, and Thirteen made a mental note of how nice that was.
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House cursed his bum leg. What he wouldn't have given to be able to run down that hall. He rounded a corner and came upon Cuddy at her door. She was rummaging through her purse trying her damnedest to find her key before he got up to her.

"Cuddy," he called.

She ignored him and continued to franticly search through her purse. House saw that she was on the verge of tears. He was almost on her as he tried again to get her to recognize him.

"Cuddy, look at me."

She had found her key card and began attempting to put the card in the slot... with little success. He was at her back by this point. She was doing everything in her power to avoid looking at him. She finally managed to make the card work and got the green light on her doorknob.

As she opened the door, House grabbed her hand preventing her from opening the door any farther.

"I'm not going to let you avoid this any longer." He said slightly peeved.

"What, House!? What do you want me to say!?" She said slightly franticly as she let go of the door and looked him in the eyes. She had tears streaming down her cheeks. He stood there silently holding the door. He gave her a little time as she calmed down.

She finally let out a sigh and leaned against the door gently as he held it still slightly open. "I used to have everything together, you know?" She said as she looked at him. "But ever since I almost lost you... I..." A new stream of tears began running down her face. "I'm terrified of everything. I'm scared for my job. I'm scared of being alone. I'm scared of a relationship."

She took a breath calming herself. She looked directly into his eyes as she continued. He felt his resolve beginning to melt as he saw her in this vulnerable state. He wanted to hold her, to protect her, to tell her that everything would be alright and that he would always be there, but he still couldn't bring himself. He could only stare into those beautiful eyes. She blink away a few tears and reached up and put a hand on his face. He felt himself shudder.

"But at the same time," she said in almost a whisper "my worst fear is that you're going to someday walk out of my life forever, and i'll never know... what could have been."

He lost it. In a second he had her in his arms. He pushed against her and went into the room with her in his arms. He heard the door shut behind him as he held her surprised face in his hands. He had her pushed against the closet closest to the door. He looked into her wondering eyes as he lowered his mouth to hers.

He felt her gasp... and then slowly release into the kiss. It was everything he had expected and more. Her lips were soft but eager as he pressed his own against them. He breathed deeply of her scent as he pushed against her with more urgency. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her. He had always thought that the torture he felt whenever he looked at her would abate if he could just kiss her, but he was sadly mistaken. That burning he had felt before suddenly felt 1000 times more hot.

She pulled away slightly to take a breath, and as she did, he took advantage of her parted lips. He sucked gently on her top lip and listened with more pleasure then he knew he was capable of as she moaned slightly. He lightly ran his tongue over her lip. She more then took the hint as she embraced him once more. She tasted sweet, deliciously supple and delicate.

He had wrapped his arms around her waist and began to gently rub her side as he move gently over her with his hands. She was perfection in his hand. She was soft in all the right places and firm were she needed to be. He felt his pants begin to tighten as he ran his hand over the generous swell of her rump.

He heard her let out another small noise as she became aware of the... sensations she was arousing in him. He smiled against her lips, and decided to make her even more aware of it. He grab her backside making her push herself even harder against him. She gasped, breaking the kiss, as she felt the more then generously sized swell that was pushing against her stomach.

She looked up at him with wide eyes. He looked back at her with the most devilish grin he could possibly have mustered. A look that made him seem fully capable of tempting any young virtuous maiden into divulging her most prized possession.

He bent down and began to run kissed down her neck. As he did, his hands continued their journey around her body. He felt her breath quicken as he moved toward her breasts. He stopped just shy of the nearest one and felt her lean her body into his hand in protest of his pause. He was more than willing to acquiesce as he took a hold of her in his hand.

She was holding desperately to his back as he made short work of her will power. His mind was reeling with the feel of her. She felt every bit as wonderful as he knew she would. He knew that he never wanted to let her go and that he wanted nothing so much as he wanted this woman in this instant.

He pulled up her dress and began to rub her thigh. Her legs were wonderful, and she was ever responsive to his touch in ways that he had only dreamed of. He made his way up her thigh toward the line of her panties. He let out a small laugh as he felt the sexy lace that she had donned.

He pulled his hand around to the front of her undergarment and began to caress her womanhood. She had already soaked through her panties. She moaned aloud and it took all of his strength to not rip of her panties and his own trousers and have her right there against that wall.

Suddenly, she grabbed his hand and gently pushed him away. He pulled back and looked at her. She had her head down. "Cuddy? Are you ok?"

"... I can't do this, House."

He felt the bottom of his stomach fall out.

"What? Why?"

She shook her head and slightly began to tremble.

"I... House, I can't just be a one night thing... I can't do this, even though I really want to."

He lifted her chin gently so he could look into her eyes. The tears were beginning to well up again.

"You're not a one night thing, Cuddy."

The tears began to stream down her face as she pulled away from his hand and looked away.

"I don't think I can believe you, House."

"Cuddy, I'm not lying! I can't think of anything I want more in the world than to be with you."

"Please!" She said looking back at him like her heart was being torn in half "Don't make this harder than it is. Please just go."

With that she walked away from his embrace toward her bed. He stared at her dumbfounded. Had it really come to this? Did she really mistrust him that much?
He felt himself begin to tense up as he always did in preparation for emotional pain. If she wanted this, then so be it.

"I'll leave, Cuddy." He said quietly. She turned back to him in surprise. "But, one day, you're going to have to trust somebody to love you... I understand that, right now, it's not me, but you can't run away forever."

With that he turned and walked out the door. She never saw the pitiful look on his face as he walked down the hall toward his room, and he never saw her break down in tears on her bed.