Within Your Heart

He was lying on his back on the bed, glaring at the bright red canopy that hung above. He almost wished he could set fire to the place. It wasn’t the fact that he couldn’t, but more the fact that he was stuck there and the bed that he was laying on, was in fact, the most comfortable thing he had ever had the pleasure to sprawl across.

“Why do I always end up in stupid situations? Either somebody hates me or destiny is a bitch and thinks it’s funny.” Even he sounded miserable to himself. A strange knock caught his ears and he sat up slowly, frowning at the door. “Who is it?” he asked a little cautiously. If it was that… that… Arthur again, he could stand there and stare at the door for all Merlin cared. He ignored the fact that he mentally thought of the beast as Arthur.

“It’s Gwen. One of the servants?” a delicate and slightly worried sounding voice replied.

“Oh.” He got off the bed and walked to the door and opened it. He looked out, expecting to see a woman standing there. There wasn’t anyone, until he dropped his gaze. A large pitcher and goblet stood at his feet.

“Are you going to let us in?” a voice asked brightly as the pitcher ‘looked’ up at him. Merlin blinked but held the door open. Both the pitcher and the goblet jumped in. Merlin stared.

“How… but… you’re a…” The pitcher paused and turned to him.

“I’m a maid.” It was said in such a way as if it was everyday a pitcher could hold a conversation.

“Yeah, sure.” A tight laugh escaped Merlin’s throat; he could feel the beginnings of hysteria starting again. He backed away slowly and walked into the wardrobe that was in the room.

“Oi! Careful! Bad enough you woke me with all your blubbering, without you having to walk into me as well!” Merlin spun around a little too quickly, tripped over his own feet and landed on his arse.

“What the…? But this is impossible.”

“If it was impossible, we wouldn’t be here, now would we?” the wardrobe snapped a little harshly.

“Now, Will. It’s not his fault,” Gwen said as she poured wine into the goblet, who then hopped over to Merlin. “Drink that up now. I think you need it.” Merlin picked up the goblet and noticed for the first time how shaky his hands were. As he took a sip the goblet giggled. Merlin raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Gwen glared at the goblet,

“Galena, please.” The giggling calmed but the goblet still shook slightly, every time Merlin took a sip.

“So, how are you…?” he asked finally.

“Talking?” Will finished. Merlin nodded. “We were human once. All of us. I had a great job. I was reasonably paid, roof over my head. Not bad going for a country boy, not unlike yourself actually. Now look at me. I’m a big block of wood.” Gwen hopped over and paused by Merlin’s knee.

“Ignore him; he’s a little bitter, as he can’t leave the room like most of us.” Will grunted then went silent. “It seems so long ago now. The Master upset a powerful sorceress. She changed him and us as punishment,” she sighed sadly.

“Magic! I knew I could feel magic.” Gwen looked up at him. “I’m a bit of a sorcerer myself.” She looked suddenly hopeful. Well, as hopeful as a pitcher could look. Merlin guessed what she was thinking, “I’m sorry. No where near that powerful. Just a conjurer of cheap tricks I suppose.” He formed the ball of light in his hand once more just to show her.

“That’s not a cheap trick,” she smiled at him. Merlin blushed.

“Thanks. But really, it’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing. I can see you don’t think much of yourself either. What you did today just proves how brave you truly are. Don’t put yourself down so much. You have a good heart.” Will hummed an agreement. “You saved your mother at your own cost. Not many people would do that.”

“Maybe. But now I’ve lost everything,” Merlin sighed.

“These things always come around. Have a little faith. For your great sacrifice you will gain reward.” She leant against his knee briefly. “Anyway,” Gwen suddenly seemed a little flustered. “Must be off. Things to do.” She hopped out of the room, Galena the giggling goblet just behind her. Will the wardrobe sighed heavily.

“I guess you need something to wear. The master might break me into firewood if I let you go to dinner like that.” Merlin looked down at his clothes. They looked fine to him. A little dirty perhaps. He clung to his neckerchief protectively. A door swung open to reveal an array of outfits. More fabrics and colours than Merlin had ever seen in his life time. He was sure even Uther would have been jealous of the small collection. He caught himself reaching for one of the outfits and dropped his hand instantly. He tilted his chin up slightly and clenched his hands by his sides.

“I wouldn’t worry about that, as I’m not going.”

“What!” Will’s carved face looked horrified. “But- but you have to.”

“No I don’t! I’m not one of his servants he can just order around.” The door to his room creaked open once more and a small blue filled vial with handles looked around. With a tone suggesting he was being put upon, the vial announced,

“Dinner is served.”

-x-

Arthur leaned heavily against the fire place, paws braced against the cool stone, head lowered and eyes closed. The boy hadn’t been in the castle for a day and already he was grating on Arthur’s nerves.

“What the hell is taking him so long?” he growled loudly. “I told him to come didn’t I? Can’t he have some respect?” Gwen sighed,

“My lord, give him a chance. It’s been a long day for him. He’s lost his mother and his freedom in one go. That’s a lot to take in all at once. It’s something he has to adjust to.” Lancelot was leaning against the fireplace; brown eyes gazed up at his master.

“Have you considered that perhaps, he could be the one to break the curse?”

“Of course!” Arthur snapped back. “But how could he be?”

“Because he’s a he,” Gwen told him and huffed. “What were you expecting? A petite brunette with big brown eyes perhaps?” Arthur growled again,

“I don’t know, but he’s… too skinny and stubborn, he cries like a girl and…”

“And I think you’re making excuses,” Gwen added. Arthur turned his blue eyes on her and glared.

“And you’re overstepping your position.”

“I’m sorry sire.” She made a bobbing motion, sounding anything but apologetic, but turned her gaze to Lancelot who had the same look as she. The master doth protest too much. This was something that could take time. Both boys were far too stubborn but perhaps there was a spark there. So maybe Arthur was expecting a beautiful girl, but it’s always the things that are least expected that turn out the best. Both objects knew full well however, that time was not on their side. The rose was already wilting, the prince’s twenty-first birthday was looming.

“Besides, even if I did like him, which I don’t, he would never like something like me. Look at me, I’m just… a monster.” He closed his eyes once more. Lancelot shrugged the best way that a sword could,

“You have to get him to see beyond that. It’s what’s inside that’s important. You need to get around what you look like. That’s not what matters.”

“But… I don’t know how.” The objects looked at each other with surprise. It was the first time they had ever heard their master sound so unsure of himself. Lancelot shrugged again and looked to Gwen.

“Well, first you make yourself look at least a little more presentable. Hold yourself straight.” Arthur stood upright despite the fact that he was taking orders from his serving maid. “You are a prince, act like it, and I don’t mean be bossy and bad tempered.” That earned her a glare. Lancelot continued,

“Be a gentleman. Smile.” Arthur tried, revealing his sharp teeth. Lancelot wondered if he should tell Arthur not to smile instead but knew he was at least trying and didn’t want to upset him.

“Don’t upset him either. Don’t forget he will be quite… sensitive to certain things at the moment.” Arthur snorted.

“Are you sure he isn’t a girl?” Gwen sent him her own glare. Lancelot jumped upright.

“Show him your strengths and I don’t mean attack him with a sword. Use your charm and wit.” Arthur did not look convinced.

“Be complimentary. But be honest.” Gwen added. “But more than anything.”

“Control your temper!” Arthur looked between both Lancelot and Gwen as they glared at him. He shrugged his shoulders as if he didn’t know what they were talking about. The door creaked open and all three turned expectantly only to find Gaius standing there.

“What are you doing here?” Arthur grumbled, sensing already that things weren’t going according to plan.

“Sire, I am here to inform you, that for varying circumstances and reasons that I will not go into-”

“Get on with it you fool!” Already Arthur’s temper had grown short. The glass vial visibly shuddered.

“He’s… ah… not coming sire.”

“What!” Arthur leapt from the room and bounded away, leaving the objects to follow.

“Sire, please, calm down,” Gaius tried, but Arthur was already out of hearing range. Arthur quickly reached the room where Merlin was staying. He hammered on the door.

“I told you to come to dinner!” he roared.

“I’m not hungry.” A firm reply. Arthur could imagine the tilt of the head in defiance, it only infuriated him further.

“I’m feeding you. You will come out now or I’ll break the door down!” he continued to roar and measured up the door in preparation.

“Just try it. I have magic you know. You’ll be breaking through rock instead.” Arthur snorted in disgust. Insolent, stubborn little…

“You’ll never get him to come that way,” Lancelot advised him matter-of-factly.

“At least try, sire,” Gaius told him calmly. Arthur glared at the objects that had finally caught up with him.

“He is not helping,” Arthur snarled at the door.

“Neither are you. Be nice,” Gwen told him in a motherly tone. Arthur pouted.

“Will you join me for dinner…?” All three objects frowned at him. He huffed heavily. “Please.”

“No, thank you,” Merlin replied almost dismissively in a way that Arthur himself would have been proud of. Arthur looked back at his servants.

“Will you just damn well come to dinner?” Any patience had quickly been lost. Arthur was not used to his orders not being followed.

“No I damn well will not.”

“You’ll have to come out some time. You can’t stay locked up in that room forever.”

“Just watch me.”

“Fine. Stay there! I rather you didn’t eat my food anyway. You can starve!” He shouted at the objects.

“He doesn’t get anything!” then stormed away.

“Oh dear. Both of them are as stubborn as each other,” Gwen sighed. “I can’t see this going at all well.” Gaius quickly took over the situation being the oldest and head of the staff.

“Lancelot, Gwen. Stay here and keep an eye on him. We don’t need him sneaking around the castle if he decides he wants to explore. I’ll go and tidy everything up. Let me know if anything happens.” The sword and pitcher both agreed as Gaius hopped off to oversee everything else that needed doing.

-x-

Arthur slammed the door to his own rooms.

“Damn him!” he growled. “A simple order and he can’t even follow that.” He ran his paws down his long nose. “Why am I letting him get to me? It’s not as if I even like him. His dark, slightly curled hair, his big blue eyes and that mouth… What the hell am I thinking! He’s driving me mad!” Even as he said that he reached for the mirror that Nimueh had left him with. “Show me the boy.” He grumbled to it. The metal glowed white before the glass shimmered to show a picture.

Merlin was lying on the bed staring at the ceiling.

“He’s not that bad you know. You just have to… get to know him a bit. He’s always like this with strangers.” Will was out of sight but his voice was clear through the mirror.

“A great way to meet new people. Scare the hell out of them. Besides, I don’t want to know him. He took me away from everything I knew. I don’t owe him anything. Certainly not my loyalty. Thinks he’s a prince, huh, a prat more like. I’ve known rats more princely than him.” Merlin sounded bitter. Arthur put the mirror down.

“Who am I kidding? Even my servants think I’m a monster. No boy is ever going to think any different.” He sighed heavily. “I give up.” As he turned to look at the rose on the table by the window, a single petal fell. Arthur had to look away.