Bittersweet Reunion

Title: Bittersweet Reunion Part VII
Author: Darkestangel
Summary: Dean recalls John’s betrayal
Author’s Website: www.darknessprevails.com
Comments: darkestangel@darknessprevails.com
Archive: Yes, to Supernatural archive, yes to others with permission
Warnings: WINCEST, coerced sex, mention of underage sex, dark themes, a manipulating John
Pairing: Dean/John
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: set in Salvation and Devil’s Trap
Disclaimer: Supernatural belongs to Warner Bros., Wonderland Sound and Vision, McG, Eric Kripke, and Robert Singer. I am only borrowing their characters for my own personal pleasure and no permanent harm will come to them.
Author’s Notes:
1. I tend to write dark stories and this one is no exception.
2. This is a missing scene from Devil’s Trap. This scene takes place after the boys have rescued John but before Dean accuses John of being possessed.
3. Flashbacks are in italics.
4. There is direct dialogue from Devil’s Trap in this installment.
5. The pilot episode takes place on Halloween night 2005. Dean told Sam that he had not heard from John in three weeks and that he himself had been working a gig in New Orleans. That would mean that Dean was in New Orleans the first week of October, which would have been impossible due to Katrina hitting on August 29th. The pilot episode was filmed before Katrina and obviously the writers of the show could not have predicted Katrina’s arrival, so I have kept the dates to canon despite Katrina and the destruction she incurred on New Orleans.

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As Sam salted the remainder of the doors and windows of the cabin, Dean stood in the living room of Bobby’s cabin wondering what the hell he was going to do next. How do you get past something like this? How do you pretend that all is well when your father rapes you and your brother walks in on it? How do you begin to heal from the abuse, the cruel words, and the violence coming from the man you most trust in the world? As fucked up as their relationship was, Dean had never seen his sexual intimacy with his father as abusive or non-consensual, but now things were different and Dean didn’t know how to cope with the changes. The last three days had shown Dean a side of his father he never knew existed, and the angry abusive side of John’s personality scared the shit out of Dean; especially the side he had just experienced in the bedroom.

Dean was seriously beginning to wonder if John Winchester had complete control of himself. Was it possible that he was under some sort of demonic influence? Dean almost wished that was so; he could forgive his father of his sins if he was possessed or influenced in some way, but if John were possessed did that mean that the Holy Water Sam splashed on his father was fake; not blessed, or was the demon immune to Holy Water? Either way he was screwed. If the water was a fake than that meant that Sam was possessed as well, and Dean couldn’t remember seeing either John or Sam crossing over salt lines, and if the demon was immune to the water than that was a whole new league of demon Dean had never dealt with, and his only defense was the Colt which he had only two bullets left that would hopefully kill the demon.

“Why can’t anything be simple in my life?” Dean asked himself. He grabbed a bag of salt and slowly walked over to the bedroom door and opened the door gently hoping that his father was asleep. He poked his head inside and saw that John was thankfully dressed and apparently asleep on the bed. He softly closed the door and walked stealthily across the floor towards the window. He salted the window keeping an eye on his father the entire time hoping that the man would not wake up and start more shit with him. He finished salting the window and turned to leave, but he stopped when he heard his father mumbling his name in his sleep.

“Dean,” his father murmured.

Against his better judgment Dean stepped closer to the bed. “Dad,” he whispered.

“I’m sorry…never meant to hurt you,” John sleepily mumbled.

Dean sat down in the chair nearest the bed and watched and listened intently as his father tossed and turned. Dean reasoned that quiet observation of his father could possibly lead to clues on the source of John’s disturbing behavior. Maybe the sleeping John would inadvertently reveal clues that would help Dean to understand what was going on inside his father’s head.

“Love you baby,” John quietly purred in his sleep.

Dean sadly smiled at his father’s admission. He used to think that John loved him, would never leave him, would be his always, but all that changed a year ago when his father left him in New Orleans to investigate the disappearances of men in Jericho, California…

*********************************************************8

New Orleans, October 5, 2005

The hunt for the bokor, the voodoo sorcerer, had not been going well. The bokor had been creating havoc on the local voodoo priests who only practiced the white magic of voodoo. In recent months, there had been sightings of voodoo zombies in New Orleans who were enslaved by the bokor’s black magic. John had dragged Dean to New Orleans to investigate the so-called zombies and determine what they had been created for and to see if they needed to find a way to stop the bokor. Unlike flesh-eating zombies, which they had fought, a voodoo zombie was usually harmless, and instead was a mindless dead slave that the bokor used as manual labor. John and Dean needed to determine what the bokor used the zombies for and determine if it was dangerous to others. The local voodoo priests were sure that the bokor was attempting to plant roots in New Orleans and draw upon its rich voodoo history which included a vast amount of dark energy and evil incantations. They feared that the bokor would use his black magic to destroy their own abilities to practice the spiritual white magic of voodoo, and the bokor would be able to gather a following and spread his beliefs to the voodoo believers in New Orleans.

Sick to death with the investigation, Dean wearily pulled the Impala into the Super 8 motel looking for his father’s familiar truck. It was not unusual for them to drive both vehicles to a gig because they could split up and get the job done faster whenever possible. John had given Dean the Impala the day after Sam had left for Stanford, most likely as a bribe to keep Dean at home where John wanted him, but Dean didn’t care because he got one bad-ass car out of the deal.

Dean parked the car next to his father’s truck and headed towards their room. When he unlocked the door and opened it, he saw that his father was sitting at the small table reading over more research, “More stuff on the bokor?”

John looked up at his son and smiled softly, “No, it’s something else entirely.”

“Like what,” Dean asked as he shrugged out of his leather jacket and threw it on his bed. “I thought you wanted to get this gig over with, so why are you messing around with another case?”

John turned his attention back to the news article on the latest disappearance in Jericho, “You seem to be doing fine without me and something about these disappearances seems like our cup of tea.”

Dean froze and looked anxiously at his father, “Are you telling me that you’re leaving me to go do this other case?”

John couldn’t make eye contact with Dean. He knew he wouldn’t be able to resist the sadness in his son’s eyes, “You’ll be fine. You just need to remember that not all of the so-called good voodoo priests can be trusted. For all we know, one of them could be a practitioner of both white and black magic.”

“Dad…look at me and tell me that you’re not leaving me to do this shit alone,” Dean insisted.

John placed the articles back on the table and looked up at his son, “Dean, its not like we’ve never split up before. What’s the big deal?”

“We’ve split up to do different aspects of a job but not to do two completely different cases.”

“Son, you’re twenty-six years old, I think that you can handle yourself,” John began. “You have enough experience to do this case alone, and I really feel the need to get out to Jericho as soon as possible.”

“Jericho? As in California, what happens if one of us gets into trouble? We’ll be too far apart to help each other,” Dean argued.

“You have Phil in Lafayette if you need anything,” John reasoned.

“And you?” Dean asked.

“I’ll have plenty of help out in California.”

“Will you go see him?” Dean questioned.

“See who?”

“Sam,” Dean whispered softly.

John abruptly stood up, “No, I told you he was no longer a part of this family, so why would I go and see him?”

“Dad, I’m not stupid. I know you’ve driven through the Stanford Campus checking up on him hoping to catch a glimpse,” Dean confidently stated.

“How the hell do you know that?”

Dean’s shoulders slumped in disappointment, “I didn’t…I just guessed.”

It was true that John had been to Stanford every time he had been in the vicinity, and he knew about Sam’s success in school and his girlfriend, and he was glad that Sam was happy, but it hurt that Sam could abandon his family and start a new life so easily. He was also disgusted with himself for his secret stakeouts of Sam and yet never once allowed Dean to contact his own brother for the last four years. There was so much to say on the subject but John was sick and tired of thinking about Sam and his blissful life, while he and Dean had continued to fight the good fight and risk their lives on almost a daily basis. “I don’t want to talk about Sam or Stanford and this conversation is over.”

“So you’re gone, I’m alone, and I have no say in it.” Dean scoffed.

“You make it sound like I’m leaving for good. It’s just for a week or two.”

Dean knew that he was acting like a bitchy chick, but he didn’t like the idea of his father going off on a hunt alone, “I just don’t understand why we can’t finish this gig up first and then go to Jericho together.”

John sighed in frustration, “Dean, there’s a pattern beginning to develop with these disappearances, and I have a feeling that there will be another one within the next couple of weeks. I want to be out there to stop it before it happens.”

“But what if…,” Dean began.

“Enough,” John interrupted. “I am through arguing with you over this. I’m leaving in the morning and you will stay here.”

“But…”

“That’s an order Dean!” John commandingly stated daring his eldest to contradict him. “I’m going to take a shower and then we can go out and get a bite to eat.”

Dean watched as his father gathered the cleanest clothes he could get his hands on, “Thank you.”

John kicked off his boots and held his change of clothes in one hand, “For what?”

“For making me feel like a twelve-year old,” Dean pouted.

John clenched the clothes tightly in his hand, “What the hell do you mean Dean? I’m giving you the chance to be independent from me and do a gig alone, and all you want to do is complain about it?”

“You didn’t ask me if I wanted to do this alone…you told me I was doing it alone,” Dean explained.

John ran his other hand over his face in frustration, “Dean, I don’t know how to make you happy anymore…You complain that I’m too possessive and controlling; yet when I give you space and freedom you whine about it. Tell me what you want from me, and I’ll give it you, but I don’t think you really know what you want yourself,” John insinuated. “Half the time we’re together you seem reluctant to let me touch you, and I have to convince you that it’s a good thing we have going on.”

“Dad, I do you want you to touch me…it’s just,” Dean began.

“Let me finish Dean,” John requested. “Like I said, half the time you need convincing for me to be intimate with you. A quarter of the time you’re all over me telling me how much you love me and need me, and the other quarter of the time you look at me like you want to kill me in my sleep…I know you blame me for Sammy leaving, and you blame me for this life you lead, but I can’t change any of that, but I can let you go if that’s what you want.”

Dean was reeling from his father’s willingness to let him go, “Why would you do that now but not before? Are you tired of me, bored, you want someone else in your bed?”

John was flabbergasted by Dean’s question, “How the hell did you get that out my statement?”

Dean sat down on the edge of his bed and looked up at his father, “You’re right, I’m difficult to deal with and you can find someone else that would be easier to handle…probably a younger chick or something.”

John shook his head in amusement, dropped his clothes back in his bag, and sat down on the bed beside Dean, “You’re killing me here Dean.” He turned sideways so that he could look at his son’s face, “You act like you don’t want me here most of the time. You make me work so hard to even hold you or to express how I feel about you…”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It’s not that I’m ashamed of our relationship or my feelings for you,” Dean explained. “It’s just that sometimes you make me feel worthless and cheap and other times you make me feel needed and appreciated.”

“But I thought you get excited when I push you around and dominate you?” John asked.

“This is so fucking confusing and hard to explain…I like you dominating me, I like it when you’re tender and sensual, and I even like it when it’s a quickie up against a brick wall in a dark alley, but I don’t like it when you touch me without warmth and emotion in your eyes.”

“I don’t understand,” John remarked.

“This has got to be the worst chick-flick moment in history,” Dean commented running his hand through his short hair. “Sometimes, you approach me like I’m a whore to use.”

“No I don’t!”

“Yes you do. You fuck me, you use me, and you don’t look like you care about me. It’s only about you getting off and me being a convenient body to use.” Dean clarified. “It’s gotten progressively worse since Sam left, and I don’t like being treated like that.”

“It has?” John asked finding Dean’s confession overwhelming. He had no idea that his son felt this way about their sexual relationship.

Dean could see that for the first time his father was seeing the truth, “There’s a fine line between dominating and using a person, and I feel that you have crossed that line on occasion and it has made me less willing to participate in your Daddy Games and your dominating nature.”

“So, you want me to stop being dominating? You want me to what…make love to you all the time?” John begrudgingly asked.

Dean snorted, “Fuck no! I can handle the occasional emotional tender shit that women really seem to dig, and probably Sam too, but I don’t want my sex life tamed like that. I like you holding me down and controlling things… I even like it when you make me blush with your filthy talk, but there has to be a sense that we’re doing these things together because we love each other; not because you feel that you own me and can take it whenever you want it.”

John took a moment to rationalize what Dean had told him; thinking back on the times he had used Dean’s body for pleasure not for love. “And if I do this correctly, you will stop denying me when I want to touch you and stop plotting to kill me in my sleep?” John asked hopefully.

“Yeah…unless I’m hurt from a hunt, or busy banging a girl in the back of a bar…oh and definitely no sex when I’m PMSing or on my period because seriously, the bloating and cramps does not make me feel very attractive, and my hormones could cause me to do violence on your ass, but other than that, I don’t see why I would deny you,” Dean joked flashing his father with a brilliant smile.

John often complained of Dean joking about all the serious stuff but this time he welcomed the excuse to laugh, “Good thing I packed the Tampax and Midol.” Both men chuckled for a few moments enjoying the release of tension that had developed in the room. “Seriously, I want to stop this pattern of me having to convince you into having sex, and I want you to know that I do love you, and I’m sorry if I’ve made you think otherwise.”

“I appreciate you telling me that. It’s nice to hear it,” Dean commented. All these years, and his father had told him he loved him only a hand-full of times. John didn’t do the whole ‘I’m a proud father with a dutiful son’ speech, and he never once told Dean that he wanted to live his life with him, but Dean had sort of made that assumption since John had never dated or fucked another person since they had started having sex together.

John looked lovingly at his son glad that the issue had been resolved, “Well, I’m going to go take that shower now so we can go grab a bite to eat.”

Dean leaned back on his elbows and spread his legs slightly, “What’s the point? You’re just going to get dirty again.”

John took in Dean’s suggestive body language and he saw a hunger in Dean’s eyes that had absolutely nothing to do with gumbo or crawdads, “I am?”

Dean licked his lips slowly and pushed his t-shirt up revealing his golden stomach, “You’re going to get very dirty.”

John’s cock leaped in excitement at the tone in Dean’s voice, “What you going to do to me boy?”

Dean pinched and twisted one of his nipples making it erect, “I’m going to ride your big dick and shoot my cum all over your face…How’s that sound?”

John ripped off his own shirt in eagerness, “I say saddle up.” John hurriedly stripped off his jeans and boxers and fell back onto the bed in his full naked glory. He began stroking his prick anxious to get inside Dean, “Come on cowboy, mount your horse.”

Dean stood up and peeled off his t-shirt, “Please tell me you’re not going to start singing ‘Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy’ because I will end this right here and now.”

John let out a sexy low laugh, “Get your fine ass up here and get me dirty.”

Dean toed off his boots and pushed his jeans and boxers off inch- by-inch slowly revealing his sensuous hips and thighs that begged to be conquered, “I’m going to work you hard…make you beg for it.”

John felt a tingle of desire run up his spine, “I’ll do whatever you want me to do as long as I get inside you.”

Dean snickered, “Anything?”

“Fuck yeah,” John whispered as he continued pumping his steel-hard rod.

Dean crawled up the bed on his hands and knees sliding his stomach up John’s legs and placing his face at his father’s crotch. He watched in amusement as John took his hand off his dick expecting Dean to take over. “Not tonight Daddy,” Dean teased. He blew warm breath over the sensitive column of flesh but continued crawling up his father’s body. “Tonight, I’m in charge, and you’re going to do exactly what I tell you to do.” Dean ran his wet tongue for just a brief second on John’s nipple, “Do you understand me?”

John silently thanked the powers above for such a divine creation, “Not a problem. I want you to use me for a change.”

Dean moved his face directly above his father, “I love you.”

John placed both of his hands on the sides of Dean’s face and held him tenderly, “I love you too…kiss me.”

Dean bent down and kissed John’s welcoming mouth in a loving embrace. He pushed his hot tongue inside and explored his father’s mouth tenderly. When he pulled away he looked John directly in the eyes, “That will be the only nice thing I will do to your mouth tonight.”

“Bring it on,” John smiled encouragingly.

Dean straddled John’s face, placed his hands on the wall behind the bed, and placed his crotch at his father’s mouth, “Lick my nuts.”

“Happily,” John groaned as he began swirling his tongue along Dean’s scrotum.

Dean loved the wetness and the warmth being spread on his sensitive balls, “That’s good…Suck on them too.” Dean’s hips involuntarily moved up and down as his father sucked and licked as requested and his cock was aching and throbbing for attention as well, “They taste good?”

“Umm…I love how you taste, please...,” John moaned.

“Please what Daddy?”

“Let me taste everything,” John requested as he turned his attention back to the underside of Dean’s scrotum inching his tongue down as far as he could reach.

Dean smiled knowingly, “You want to lick my asshole? Feast on it?”

“Oh…fuck Dean, yeah…I want that so bad.”

“You want me to sit on your face so you can fuck me with that nasty tongue of yours?” Dean teasingly asked.

“Please,” John begged.

Dean pulled back away from John’s face. “Suck my cock first,” Dean demanded as he placed the tip of his leaking prick at John’s mouth, “Lick it.” Dean looked down at his father’s face watching lustfully as John’s wet pink tongue began circling the crown of his dick, “Looks like I’m not the only cocksucker in the family.” He moved his hips from front to back getting a good tongue soaking on his long pole, “Your tongue feels so fucking good.”

John ran his hands up Dean’s chest and began pinching and twisting his nipples, but Dean swatted his hands away, “Bad Daddy! I told you I’m in control and you don’t touch me unless I tell you to.”

“Sorry baby,” John managed to get out before Dean angled his hips and shoved his cock into his mouth. John felt his toes curling in pleasure as his son fucked his mouth and was left with no choice but to take it all.

Dean used the headboard for support as he pummeled his father’s mouth, “Such a good cocksucker…you’re making me so fucking hard.” Dean slowed his rhythm allowing John to breathe easier, “You want me to shoot my load in that nasty mouth, don’t you?”

John shook his head yes and sucked eagerly on Dean’s swollen wet rod. He wanted to taste Dean’s cum in his mouth, on his tongue, and on his face.

Dean once again pulled away from his father’s mouth, “Tell me how bad you want my asshole.”

John’s eyes nearly rolled into the back of his head at Dean’s controlling antics, “I want it like a starving man…I want to shove my tongue inside your tight heat getting you wet and ready for my dick.”

Dean placed himself over John’s face, “You will use your hands to spread my ass cheeks apart, but you may not put anything else inside me except for your tongue.” Dean smiled as he felt John’s hands reaching for his firm meaty cheeks and spreading him apart. He felt John’s tongue tracing the sensitive circle of tissue; teasing him with the wetness of his tongue, “I love how you worship my hole…get it all wet.”

John felt like he was going to cum feasting on his son’s wanton hole, but he knew he had to hold out a little bit longer. He began to lick at the center of Dean’s entrance enjoying how the hole opened up for him begging for more. Dean had always been a slut for a good rimming and tonight was no different.

Dean arched his back slightly as he felt his father’s tongue breeching his hole and pushing inside his tightness, “Fuck...Give it to me, fuck my sweet ass with that nasty filthy tongue.” Dean reached for his own cock and pressed it against John’s forehead, “And you better be fucking hard as a brick when I get ready to sink down on your cock.”

“I could punch a hole through a wall,” John mumbled from beneath Dean’s ass.

Dean reluctantly pulled away from John’s face and turned his body around so that he was still on his knees but had his ass facing his father, “Look at it, tell me what it looks like.”

John pulled the cheeks apart again revealing Dean’s puckered hole, “Oh fuck, it’s all red and wet…damn it looks good, can I stick a finger in it?”

“One,” Dean stated as ran a finger of his father’s impressive length. “You weren’t lying were you? You could punch somebody’s eye out with this thing.” Dean relaxed and felt as one of John’s large fingers plunged inside his body. He continued running a finger up and down John’s dick watching as it involuntarily leaped for more attention, “Go ahead and put another finger inside me and make it feel good.”

John carefully placed a second finger inside his son’s tight channel and licked his lips, “I want this ass so fucking bad…Want you to ride me hard.”

Dean gasped in pleasure when John hit his prostate. “That’s it…umm; get me ready for your big swollen prick.” Dean began fucking himself on John’s fingers like a bitch in heat. “Put another finger…oh God, fuck.”

John’s pulse was racing, “Dean, we got to do this now or I’m going to explode and ruin this party early.”

Dean agreed with John’s assessment of the situation and turned around once again facing his father, “What’s the matter Daddy, you all hot and bothered?”

John grinned and wiped the moisture from his upper lip, “You are such a bad boy and a tease.”

Dean straddled John’s crotch and slowly began to sink down on his father’s cock, “That’s what makes it fun; teasing you and getting you all riled up.” There was pain, but Dean worked through the pain and worked open his tight hole with John’s dick, “I bet it’s taking everything in you not to shoot your cum in me right now.”

John was clenching the sheets with his hands wanting desperately to touch Dean; especially his hips, “Baby please…I need it fucking now!”

Unable to hold off any longer, Dean impaled his body onto John’s cock and began riding it hard and demanding, “Fuck me! Push your hips off the bed and nail me hard.”

“Can I put my hands on your hips?” John frantically asked.

Dean slid up and down John’s hardness wanting more, “Yes, give it to me.”

John happily grabbed Dean’s hips and began moving the younger man up and down his thick shaft as he pushed his own hips up in perfect timing with Dean’s riding motion. Dean’s velvety heat was addictive and he knew he wouldn’t last long thanks to all the cockteasing on Dean’s part. “Oh…fucking ride me baby.”

Dean began stroking his own cock, “I’m going to cum all over your face…and you’re going to thank me for it.”

“Can’t wait to taste your spunk on my lips baby…umm, fuck,” John moaned as his orgasm was ripped out of his dick by Dean’s demanding hole. “There it is baby…you feel what you do to me?”

“Umm-huh, I love it when you cum inside me like that…going to make me cum,” Dean whimpered as he quickly got off his father’s satisfied dick and proceeded to shoot his warm ropey release onto John’s face.

John held on tightly to Dean’s hips as he felt the liquid splattering onto his cheek, nose, and mouth, and he stuck his tongue out catching a few drops directly, “You taste so fucking good…feed me.” When Dean had no more to give him, John released Dean’s hips.

Dean collapsed on the bed on his back and tried to get his breathing under control. “Holy Shit Batman!”

John turned onto his side chuckling, “How was that baby?”

Dean turned on his side to face his father, “That was fucking amazing.” Dean crawled into his father’s personal space and kissed him gently on the lips. He ran his hand softly down John’s flank, “So, you’re staying in New Orleans until we finish this gig right?” Dean asked hopefully.

John closed his eyes in defeat not wanting to argue with Dean after such a pleasurable moment, “Okay, we’ll do this thing together.”

“And promise me that you’ll never suggest such a thing again,” Dean persisted playing with the hair on his father’s arm.

John opened his eyes and for the first time truly understood how dependent Dean had become upon him. It was his fault after all. He had held Dean close to him over the years, refusing to let Sam or anyone else corrupt Dean’s mind against him, but now it was time to let his son go; to make Dean learn how to fly on his own. He knew that he would just have to sneak and leave because Dean would fight and reason with him until he was blue in the face. He’d be back in a week or two and Dean would be mad as hell at him, but he wanted to force Dean to take those first baby steps and do the voodoo job on his own.

“Dad… I mean it, never leave me,” Dean pleaded. “I think our talk tonight will make things a lot better between us, and I don’t want you to leave when we’re just beginning to understand each other.”

“If you insist Dean,” John lied knowing that Dean would eventually forgive him for going away to Jericho, and he would be back in no time to continue his attempts to mend his ways with Dean.

**********************************************

Dean continued to look at his sleeping father thinking about the events that had followed after that night in New Orleans. He had woken up assuming that his father had gone for coffee, so he took a shower. When he got out of the bathroom, he discovered that John’s bag was missing. Dean could remember the tightness in his chest and the feeling of dread as he looked out the curtain only to discover that his dad’s truck was gone. He found a note on the table that simply read, ‘Had to go. I’ll see you in a couple of weeks.’ Dean remembered the sense of betrayal he felt and he swore that he would never talk to his father again, but three days later he called John’s cell phone, got voice mail, and left several messages pleading for John to call, but the fucking bastard didn’t have the guts to call him back, so Dean fumed for a couple of more days until he finally called John’s phone again and cussed him out. He called John a few choice words that still make him cringe in shame today, and told his father not to bother calling back because he wasn’t ever going to talk to him again.

It wasn’t until three weeks later that Dean received a voice mail from his father about something starting up again and to be careful. Dean was still mad as hell about his father’s lies and betrayal but he knew that something wasn’t right, so he went to Stanford, picked up Sam, and attempted to forget all about John and the fact that they were lovers, and instead thought of John only as his manipulating father who lived for revenge, but he couldn’t give up his father’s crusade to help others. As the year went on, Dean began to miss John’s guidance and support, but he didn’t miss his lying lover who abandoned him in New Orleans, and he had absolutely no intentions of letting the man in his bed again, but of course the force of nature named John Winchester came back into his life and threw Dean’s life into shambles.

*****************************************

Dean stepped back into the small living room seeing Sam salting the last of the windows and nodded his head in acknowledgement.
Sam’s face still hurt like a fucking bitch, and he was waiting for Dean to take a look at it as promised, but he knew that Dean needed more attention at the moment, “How is he? “
“He just needed a little rest, that’s all. How are you? “
Sam wanted to tell Dean that he was still angry and felt the need to castrate his own father but instead he just shrugged, “I’ll survive…Hey, you don’t think we were followed here, do you?”
Dean looked around the cabin seeing that it was locked up tight, “I don’t know. I don’t think so. We couldn’t have found a more out-of-the-way place to hole up.”
Sam watched as his brother sat down wondering where the man got the strength or will to carry on after so much emotional bullshit with his father, “Yeah. Hey, uh….Dean, you, um….you saved my life back there. “
Dean smirked, “So, I guess you’re glad I brought the gun, huh?”
Sam mouth twisted in disgust, “Man, I’m trying to thank you here.”
“You’re welcome,” Dean remarked watching as his brother made his way to the other side of the room, “Hey, Sam?”
“Yeah,” Sam asked.
Dean looked down at his hands; hands that had killed two people, possessed people for sure, but still they had both been living humans that bled and died at his hands, “You know that guy I shot? There was a person in there.”
Sam could see the look of guilt on Dean’s face, “You didn’t have a choice, Dean.”
“Yeah, I know. That’s not what bothers me,” Dean replied.
Sam was confused, “Then what does? “
“Killing that guy, killing Meg, I didn’t hesitate. I didn’t even flinch,” Dean spoke softly. “For you or Dad, the things I’m willing to do or kill, it just….it scares me sometimes.”
Before Sam could respond, John walked into the room overhearing his son’s confession, “It shouldn’t. You did good.”
Dean stared at his father like John had grown an extra head, “You’re not mad?”
“For what,” John asked smiling softly.
Dean stood up and faced his father trying to ignore the intense stare he was receiving from Sam, “For using a bullet.”
John beamed brightly at his eldest son. “Mad? I’m proud of you. You know, Sam and I, we can get pretty obsessed. But you…you watch out for this family. You always have.”
“Thanks,” Dean commented completely mystified by his father’s statement.
Suddenly the lights began to flicker and the wind picked up velocity outside causing the wooden cabin to creak in complaint. “It found us. It’s here,” John informed his sons.”
For the first time since his father had walked into the room, Sam thought of something else besides doing bodily harm to his dad, “The demon?”
“Sam, lines of salt in front of every window, every door,” John ordered looking frantically out the window.
“Already did it,” Sam replied.
John looked at his youngest persistently, “Well, check it, okay?” John looked back out the window for any sign of the demon, “Dean, you got the gun?”
“Yeah,” Dean replied.
John stuck out his hand, “Give it to me.”
Dean pulled the gun out of the back of his pants, “Dad, Sam tried to shoot the demon in Salvation. It vanished.”
“This is me. I won’t miss. Now, the gun, hurry,” John ordered. John watched Dean holding the gun in hesitation and arched his brows in bewilderment, “Son, please.” John watched Dean taking a few steps backwards, “Give me the gun. What are you doing, Dean?”
Dean had suspected that something was wrong with his father all night, and now he knew for sure, “He’d be furious.”
“What,” John asked frantically.
Dean looked intently at John, “That I wasted a bullet. He wouldn’t be proud of me. He’d tear me a new one.” Dean thought back on what the man or demon that had raped him in the bedroom said to him. It said that the only thing John Winchester was proud of was Dean’s cocksucking abilities and nothing else. Dean raised the Colt and cocked it pointing it at his father. “You’re not my dad.”

Part VIII coming soon.
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