Senseless

“Jesse”
Jesse didn’t stir. He was too comfortable resting his head against Bren’s chest and feeling those strong arms sorrounding him after so long. Brennan had undone the shackles so he could hold him properly, plus Jesse was hurting his wrists way too much.
// Maybe we could get those velvet covered cuffs for next time? Shal would know right? //
// Hah who am I kidding. //
Timecheck: it’d been a little over an hour and ten minutes since Brennan had injected Jesse with the subjugator. Which meant he still had about three hours to get this done. Because he knew too well once Jesse could get away, there was no way he’d get another chance.
// The returning tomorrow night part was just a fib you know that. //
“Jess its obvious you’re losing the stupid game. Do you wanna tell me now whats wrong with you?”
Jess opened his eyes but didn’t look up.
“What makes you think something’s wrong with ME?”
“Okay then.. whats wrong with me?”
Jess now looked up to meet Brennan’s insistent gaze. For the longest time, he said nothing.
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“Nothing.”
‘Then why did you break it off Jess? We’re so .. I guess.. I don’t know about you anymore.. but I used to think I make you as happy as you make me.”
Jess looked away at that.
“wanna tell me the real reason now?”
And Jess shook a negative. Brennan was angry now. He shifted to sit up.
“Oh come on! What the hell’s the matter anyway?t cat can be such a huge deal you cant tell me about?”
“I did tyou!you! You don’t wanna believe it.. its not my fault!”
“Which story are we talking about? The no-good-need-a-break one or the mutant-freaks-cant-handle-the-stress one?”

Jess got angry too. He got up, and started to pace.
//Amazing //
This was another thing Brennan liked so much about Jesse.
// He is strutting around naked without an ounce of consciousness when only a while ago, he was blushing like anything under my touch! //
Under my touch.. Brennan liked the sound of that. And Jesse stopped pacing. Apparently he’d been contemplating something. But his decision was still the same.
“Believe what you want to believe Brennan. I have nothing more to say to you.”
Brennan was pissed. He got up and stood before him.
“I aint going nowhere until I have an answer or I have you Jess”
“Well you cant have any. Learnt to accept things the way they are Brennan!”
“Not this. This is way too important to me.”
Jesse stared at Brennan. His face and voice riddled with uncanny anticipation.
“Why?”

….
// Uh-oh. Getting desperate here Brennan… watch it! //
“C-cos… Cos I don’t understand it that’s all! Cos I had fun with you Jesse. I .. enjoy your company.. I like what we do. I like how good we are in bed! And.. I .. miss it.”
Jesse held his hands at his waist. Naked waist.
“You miss the sex.”
“Well DUH!!” … and with a mild touch of self-doubt.. “Don’t you?”
…. Jesse was not too happy with Brennan’s explanations, that much was clear. He walked up to the bathroom door and pulled out a towel from behind it. He wrapped it around himself very matter-of-factly and then turned to Brennan. Deadpan again.
“Leave Brennan.”

“Okay what did you want to hear Jess? Why don’t you just tell me?”
“I want to hear Nothing from you Brennan. Nothing that you say will ever change anything between us. I.. I just want you to leave. You’ve had your fun now… just … Leave!”
“You want me to? Fine. START TALKIN!”
“You know I can be as stubborn as you. I don’t have to explain a damn thing to you. You don’t own me!”
Brennan scowled. “I think we amply demonstrated who’s running the show here.”
“Oh fuck off!”
“You wanna go again? Wanna prove to me you’re Not Interested!?”
“Attacking me like that.. count the stupid S words!?! You think it proves anything?”
“It proved that you still want me. You can fight me but you cant resist me Jess”
“Oh please!… You and your bloated ego.. you’re so disgusting.. you and your…”
“Superciliousness??”
…..
…..

Jesse and Brennan stared each other down. Two minutes. Three.
Four.
Its amazing how time can slowly soothe tempers. Don’t do much for the underlying issues.. those need to be sorted out manually.
Jesse let out a huge breath and sat down on the bed. So did Brennan. The two boys sat with their backs to each other. Each lost in their own sea of guilt and doubts and confusions. Anger too.
Jesse spoke up first.
“Brennan.. we gotta work together. We cant.. we cant afford to fight like this.”
“I know.”
….


“Talk to me Jess…”
“Brennan please don’t start…”
“Okay okay!”
….
“What do you suggest?”
“I suggest you leave.” Not the most unpredictable answer in the world that one.
… Brennan hadn’t expected himself to give up .. but he’d tried. God knows he had. He couldn’t understand why this was bothering him so much. Never before had he let a relationship.. that too just a physical one.. affect him so much. Maybe its cos he has to see Jesse every single day. Live with him. Work with him. Heck he shared a life with him already.
// Jesse’s family. //
Brennan sighed deeply and stood up to face Jesse.. Jesse’s back actually. He’d made up his mind.
“Okay. I’ll leave.”

Jesse closed his eyes. Relieved?
“I’ll do what you want. But.. there is one thing I still need.”
Jesse turned around. “What?”
….
“what?”
“Jess.. let me make love to you.. one last time.”
….
“I want to remember.. you and me.”
….
“No tricks this time. No games. Just you and me. Please..”
Jesse lowered his head. And slowly.. he nodded. Brennan couldn’t have been happier. And his soft smile reflected as much.
Jesse got up to face him, awkward in his stance, the way he’d been the first night he’d allowed Brennan into his inner sanctum. It had taken Brennan a whole seven days and nights to talk him into it. Gawd that was the longest he’d ever taken to get into someone’s pants! // Ahem //

Brennan looked at the young boy in front of him. Regretting that this was perhaps the last time he might get to do this.. yet glad to have this last chance. He pulled off his teeshirt and dropped it on the floor. He walked up to Jesse who had been just standing and staring.. and led him by the hand to the bed again. He seated him on it and stood in front of him. Very slowly, he kicked off his shoes and pulled out his socks as Jesse looked on and licked his lips. Then he stepped out of his jeans. He wore no underwear leaving the stunner bare and in all his glory. Jesse stared at the beauty just been revealed to his hungry eyes.. strong lithe body, toned muscles, proud shaft.. life-size perfection. And when he looked up into Brennan’s eyes.. Jesse felt like crying.
// I missed you too Bren .. //