Down the Rabbit hole

*New Chapter! This one has a pretty fun scene, and some of you smart people may be able to see the fun that's going to be in store later. Hope you like it ^_^*


House sat at the desk in his office. That woman was on his mind again. It seemed that since he had let her into his bed, he had thought of nothing else. Her scent still clung to the crook of his arm where she usually ended up most nights. Neither of the two really intended for her to end up there, but it seemed she always did, just the same.

Who did that woman think she was anyway? Making him so focused on such a trivial issue, it was inexcusable. Not to mention the fact that she wouldn’t own up to her silly crush. That was the fact that infuriated him the most.

It was so obvious that she liked him. Why wouldn’t she just admit it? And why did the fact that she wouldn’t admit it make him so angry? It was probably better that she didn’t, for the hospital’s sake. It was painfully obvious what would happen if they were to get together. It would start off wonderfully, but sooner or later one or both of them would get sick of the other and then the abuse would truly begin.

…So why did it bother him?

He needed a distraction. That was all. House grabbed the tennis ball that sat on his desk and began lobbing it at the wall. The repetitive motion helped. He began to think of some reason to bug Wilson today, as well. Anything to get out of his newly acquired clinic duty… and get his mind off of Cuddy.

Just as an excuse was beginning to form in his head to go see Wilson, the object of his attentions walked into the room. House caught the tennis ball and eyed his friend skeptically.

“That’s interesting.” House mused.

“What? I walked into a room. Now that’s fascinating?” Retorted Wilson with a small eye roll.

“No, you walked into this room. You would never purposefully seek me out unless you needed me for something, which is extremely rare when I am not on a case, or unless you didn’t want me seeking you out… which is quite interesting.”

House placed the tennis ball back on the desk, linked his fingers, and looked up at Wilson with interest. As expected, Wilson’s face betrayed a hint of shock before he quickly recomposed himself. House smiled knowingly, but continued to wait for a response.

Wilson held up his hands in mock astonishment, “Oh deary dear, the wisest man in the world seems to have figured out my brilliant plot! How could he have possibly known that I was hiding something!”

Wilson let out an exaggerated sigh and plopped into the chair nearest the door. “Now I have to go hide that cocaine I was planning to smuggle out of the country, and the fact that I was going to ask someone out so soon after my girlfriend’s death, and…”

“You’re going to ask someone out?!” House blurted out. He let his jaw drop and turned his to the side in thought.

“That… That was sarcasm House, I thought you of all people would be able to tell…”

“It’s got to be someone at the hospital or else you wouldn’t try to put me off the trail. Which lends itself to believe that it’s someone I know.” House rambled.

“House… House it’s… it’s called sarcasm!” Wilson responded, a hint of desperation in his tone.

“Let’s see… there’s that new nurse with the huge boobs. Nah, way to easy. Hmm, probably someone relatively close…” House leaned back in his chair thoughtfully, with his intertwined fingers pressed to his lips. He suddenly sat back up. “It’s Thirteen isn’t it! That would fit all criteria! You wouldn’t want me to know about it, she’s someone I know, and she’s the damsel in distress! Exactly your type!”

Wilson looked truly taken aback before stammering “Wha… NO! no! She’s… no, I’m not asking Thirteen out.” He stated before quickly adding, “OR ANY GIRL!”

“You’re asking her to the Christmas gala, aren’t you?” said House with a sneer.

“Damnit, House! I’m not asking Thirteen out!”

House’s facial expression fell a little. He slowly sat back in his chair before responding.

“Then who are you asking?”

Wilson was silent for a second. He suddenly found the side table next to his chair quite fascinating as he pondered his answer.

“Well, If you MUST know,” Wilson began “you were right about the Christmas gala.”

House promptly put his most smug expression on his face while waiting for Wilson’s answer. Poor predictable Wilson, It was almost too easy to see when he had a girl on the brain, House thought. Of course, House actually thought it was a great idea for Wilson to get out into the field again, but he would never tell Wilson that.

Whichever cute little nurse Wilson was planning to ask didn’t matter. House was still going to bug the shit out of Wilson for asking someone out so soon, and Wilson would get scared if he wasn’t sure about his decision, which was better for everyone in the end. No, this was a good thing. It meant that everything was finally getting back to normal.

So normal it was almost boring, in fact. House was beginning to feel like he could read every move of Wilson’s before he had even made them.

“I’m… I’m going to ask Cuddy to the gala.”

Except for that one.

House was silent. Wilson watched him patiently from across the table. House knew he was waiting for him to say something, anything. But what could he say? … other than

“YOU’RE AN IDIOT!”

“Why, because I want to ask out an attractive, smart, successful, single woman?” Retorted Wilson

“No, because you want to ask out CUDDY!!” House bellowed.

Wilson flinched at the shouting and looked around him to make sure they weren’t being heard. A few nurses looked in the glass as they walked past, but didn’t pay much attention… it was House after all.

He turned his attention back to House before calmly saying, “I’m asking Cuddy to the gala whether you like it or not. You wanted to know SO badly what I was trying to hide, so there it is.”

House stared at him. How could he ask her out? The woman was a demon spawn! She bitched constantly, she was his boss, and House knew that the relationship would only end in tragedy.

“You can’t ask Cuddy out.” House said firmly.

“And why not?” Retorted Wilson with a cocked eyebrow.

Why not? Why was House so up in arms about this? Why did he care so much about who Wilson asked out? He had the right to screw up his life if he wanted to… so why couldn’t House bring himself to accept this?

This was bad. He was slipping. Wilson was waiting for him to answer, and all House could think about was choking any bastard that dared to get near Cuddy.

“Because…” House began

Wilson cocked an eyebrow in that irritating way that always set him off. House finally managed to pull together his last ounce of self esteem and put on his best scowl.

“Because she’s a dirty skank whore! That’s why! You’ll get some ungodly diseases.”

Before Wilson could retort, House went back to throwing the tennis ball back at the wall… perhaps a little more forcefully then necessary, but still.

Wilson watched House with a small smile playing at his lips. The two sat in silence for some time listening to the thump of the tennis ball against the wall, until finally Wilson broke the silence.

“I suppose it’s a risk I’m just going to have to take.” Wilson went to stand up and watched House catch the ball and hold it to himself in thought. He began making his way to the door of the office slowly. As he reached the glass door, Wilson turned to take one last look at House and say,

“I guess I’ll just use protection, that’s all.”

With that Wilson left the office, but not before catching a glimpse of the look of horror on House’s face.
******************

This had just been a strange day for Cuddy. All she could think about as she sat in her office was how only a month ago she had led a relatively normal life, and today, she had woke up next to the most misogynistic jerk that she knew. Of course they hadn’t slept together… but that didn’t mean that her subconscious wasn’t running a little to wild for its own good.

Now, not only was she having thoughts about one of the biggest asses in her hospital, but her star oncologist had just asked her out. Going to the gala with Wilson should have made her happy. He was a great guy. He was stable. He didn’t make her want to punch kittens every time he talked… but for some reason, she was a little disappointed… which REALLY confused her.

She had been staring at the same report for the past 20 minutes and had gotten no closer to reading it. She shook her head trying to clear it of her little distraction, and picked up the paper to get back to work. But right as she did, an earth shattering slam woke her from her stupor.

She looked up to find House busted through her office door. His eyes were squinted in a look she knew to be quite dangerous…on many levels. Cuddy felt her cheeks begin to flush, a reaction that didn’t go unnoticed.

“I thought we had already agreed that he wasn’t a good enough guy for you.” House said so quietly that Cuddy almost didn’t hear him. Cuddy shifted her gaze away from his terrifyingly beautiful eyes, and looked down to her papers.

“No, I thought we had agreed that it really wasn’t any of your business what I do with my personal life. And what does it matter to you anyway?” Cuddy asked with a cocked eyebrow. She saw the faintest hint of falter fall on Houses face before he picked it back up immediately.

“It matters because I don’t want to see Wilson get hurt so soon after he lost Amber!” Said House as he slowly limped his way toward the desk where Cuddy sat. She was distinctly aware of the proximity as she continued slightly flustered.

“It’s just a date, House. And besides, I need an escort to the gala, being the Head of Medicine, and Wilson offered. Was I supposed to say no to most likely the only voluntary offer that I would receive for the occasion?”

“Yes! Yes, you were!” Spat House. He placed his cane on the desk and leaned over demanding Cuddy’s attention. She turned away from her papers with as much backbone as she could muster and looked him in the eyes…it was barely enough. She felt the distinct tingle go through her spine as she looked into his ocean blue eyes. She stood to face him as she spoke, and gained control of her lesser instincts.

“House, I needed an escort! It was either this voluntary offer or make some poor person go with me! It probably would have been Cutner, or Forman, or…”

“…me?” House said gently.

Cuddy looked at him. He was leaned across the desk so the he was barely a breath away from her face. She felt her voice catch in her throat as she watched a smile play at his lips. His eyes were scanning her face in a look mixed between amusement and admiration.

“Why are you so reluctant to ask me?” House asked. As he did he brought up his hand and brushed a treacherous piece of hair away from Cuddy’s face. She let her eyes fall so she could savor the sensation of House bringing his hand around to cup her cheek.

He was warm, gentle, and smelled of some masculine spice that she could not quite identify. She felt him pull her closer toward her face and closed her eyes. She felt him stop half an inch away from her lips. She opened her eyes to see his hooded and his mouth quirked in the smile that always melted her.

He brought up his other hand to lightly brush the other side of her face as he spoke.

“Why are you so reluctant… when it’s so obvious you like me?”

And like that, the spell was broken. She pulled away quicker than if he had hit her and immediately brought out the claws.

“Forgive me, but I do believe it is you who always gets us into these situations! If you wanted to ask me to the gala, then you shouldn’t have waited until it was too late!” She practically roared at him.

House pulled back and narrowed his eyes.

“Oh come one, we both know that me asking you out would just lead to rampant, but very satisfying, rabbit sex, and I personally don’t want to catch the WHORE DISEASE you’re obviously carrying!”

House grabbed his cane and began to stalk toward the door.

“So I should tell Wilson he has some jealous competition, then?” said Cuddy sweetly.

House wheeled around so fast that Cuddy was slightly impressed that he didn’t fall over with his bum leg.

“You and Wilson can do whatever the HELL you want!”

At that moment a soft knock came on the office door. Cuddy and House both turned to watch Thirteen enter the office.

“What do you want?” asked House in the most acidic tone Cuddy had ever heard. Thirteen took half a step back as she assessed the situation. When she determined it to be stable enough she continued in.

“House, the patient’s hemorrhaging in his stomach.” Stated Thirteen

“You’ve had a patient this whole time!?!” Shouted Cuddy at House. House proceeded to role his eyes.

“I’m sorry, was interrupting something?” Asked Thirteen politely.

“Not really, we were just discussing Dr. Cuddy’s poor choices in men, nothing important.” Replied House with a stabbing look at Cuddy.

Thirteen looked from House to Cuddy before a smile formed on her lips.

“Oh! I’m sorry, you were asking her to the gala… I’ll just wait outside.” Thirteen turned to leave the office before she heard a simultaneous,

“WHAT!?”

Thirteen turned back to look at them innocently before saying,

“I just thought… I mean everyone has been taking the opportunity today to ask people to the gala, I just thought that’s what you were doing. My bad.” She folded her hands in front of her and waited with a smile on her face.

House looked irate and Cuddy just put a hand on her face.

Thirteen sat patiently for a few more seconds before saying, “Well, House, if you’re not asking Cuddy to the gala, then I was actually wondering if you would go with me? Might be fun?”

House’s expression changed to that of shock, and Cuddy’s to horror.

“What?! You want to go with House?” retorted Cuddy.

“Why not? He’s entertaining, cute, and I know him pretty well. There are much worse dates trust me.”

House’s expression shifted to that of a hunter snaring a trap.

“Sure, I’ll go with you. Why not? Like you said, there are much worse dates.” Replied House.

“Whaaaa..” said Cuddy dumbfounded.

“You have something you want to say?” Asked House.

Cuddy shut her mouth. She watched House for a few seconds and turned away in embarrassment. House turned back to Thirteen and said,

“Alright, it’s a date. Now let’s go save Mr. Bloody Puke before he bleeds out of somewhere even more important.”

And with that, House and Thirteen left Cuddy standing confused and embarrassed in her office.