Hitting The Enemy

Title: Hitting the Enemy 6
Author: scots_rock
Pairing: Charlie/Sawyer, with appearances of other members from LOST
Rating: R (mainly)
Summary:
Disclaimer: sweet, little lies – again ^^
Feedback: is delicious!
Author's Notes: You know, some songs can really inspire me. This time it’s “Delicate”, that was the song at the end of LOST 17.

~***~

It beginning to turn night. The sun was slowly vanishing behind the horizon, the sky colored itself in violet and dark red. The waves met the sand, covered it and took some of it back into the ocean. The rushing noise was the only music the survivors were having.

Sawyer sat some feet away from the beach camp. He didn’t want to go back to his tent, everything would remind him of Charlie. He watched the sun go down and enjoyed it quite a lot. He breathed slowly in and out with closed eyes. He tried to think of something that was not related to Charlie. He thought of… yeah, what was there to think of other than Charlie? It doesn’t matter what came into his mind. Charlie would always be there. Somewhere in the background of his mind. Sawyer opened his eyes again and looked up. Darkness surrounded him. The only light given now were the moon and the thousands and thousands of stars blinking down at him.

He rubbed his neck and then stood up. This was hopeless. It was impossible to forget Charlie’s words.

“I love you, Adam!”

Adam. He had called him by his real name. The name he had given Charlie at their first meeting. The words were still ringing in his ears. He had stopped, but then had walked on ignoring Charlie completely. Maybe it was better that way. He had hidden his feelings for Charlie so long it was not so easy to let them out again. Although he wished he could.

“Sawyer? Are you alright?”

Kate had approached standing now behind him and looking worried.

“Why aren’t you at your tent?”


“Why do you care? You live at the caves with Jacko the cave-keeper!”

“You’re hopeless, you know that? But anyway, I came by to bring the others some water. And Sajid said he didn’t see you at your tent. He thought something had happened.”

“Oh, yeah, right. Because you all care that much about me.”, Sawyer mocked not looking back at her.

Kate smiled.

“Well, you don’t make it easy for us to like you.”

“Good. So I achieved at least one aim.”

Sawyer was lost in his thoughts again creating a silence that Kate knew had had done on purpose. He had problems but would not tell her.

“I wouldn’t say that.”, suddenly she answered softly.

Sawyer turned around. “What do you mean?”

“At least to one person on this island you mean something.” Kate held his look. “Charlie.”

Sawyer laughed. “No, he doesn’t like me. He doesn’t even know who I really am. He thinks he does but…” He stopped. “But that’s none of your fuckin’ business.” He added angrily.

“Somehow it is. When he came back to the caves today he was hysterical and confused. I had never seen him crying like that before. When I asked him what was wrong he told me everything. He told me about the box, the letters, the photos, Adam… Yes he event told me about you.” She took one step closer to him and lay a hand on his left shoulder. “Believe it or not, but I think he knows you better than you do.”

Sawyer gave her a side look. She stood on her tiptoes to make herself bigger and placed a soft kiss on his cheek.

“You know what to do now. Don’t make the same mistake as I did. Don’t risk losing him. Again.”

She smiled at him and left him alone. Sawyer looked after her. Lose Charlie. It had never occurred to him before that he might lose him with his behavior. He only wanted to keep him away, to protect him. Oh no, he had become Liam. Charlie surely knew what he was doing. He was no kid anymore. He was a young man and he didn’t need anyone to protect him anymore. Charlie’s words were not a desperate cry for help. His words had come from his heart. He had told Sawyer the truth. Like he always had done.

Sawyer faced the jungle and ran into it. He had done a huge mistake letting Charlie alone with his feelings. He took the path to the caves fasting his steps. Who knew if Charlie would hurt himself for being alone again? And it was all Sawyer’s fault! He nearly arrived the caves when he saw a figure in the dark walking in the direction of the lightning where Sawyer had bumped into Charlie and had beaten him up.

“Charlie! Wait!”, Sawyer cried out, but the person didn’t stop. It went on leading Sawyer only deeper into the jungle.

Sawyer ran so fast he almost forgot to breath. He was so sure that this person was Charlie. He tried to catch up with him and when he would get him finally in his arms he would shake him and yell at him, what the hell we was about to do, that the loved him, too, and that Sawyer would not allow Charlie to hurt himself. Yes, he would do that and Charlie would have to listen to him.

Clouds were passing the moon and the night was getting darker.

“Damn it!”, Sawyer cried out loud but ran on. He couldn’t see a thing. Not even the figure he was hunting. He just kept moving his feet, trying to get as fast to Charlie as possible. And then he suddenly fell over something. Or better someone.

“Son of a bitch!”, Sawyer cursed and stood up looking back. It was Charlie lying there on the ground not showing a sign of life with his face lying in the mud.

Sawyer immediately knelt down beside him and turned him around now holding him in his arms. As he had hoped he would. But not like this.

“Charlie, say something!”, Sawyer screamed into Charlie’s ear.

Charlie opened his eyes and moaned in pain. “Bloody hell, Sawyer, if you had ran even faster, maybe you would have run right through me!”, he complained and sat up, leaning against a tree now.

Sawyer breathed out relieved. “Shit, I thought it was already too late. I thought you…”

“What were you doing here at all? Bloody hell, I can’t even sit here for a couple of minutes without someone running into me!” Charlie breathed out, frustrated. “Why did you follow me? I wanted to be on my own!”

Charlie shot him a look that said it all: I gave up on you.

“I’ve gone after you because I wanted to make something clear.”

“So, now you want to talk to me. But you know what, now I’m not in the mood to talk!”

With that Charlie stood up and was about to go back to the caves. But Sawyer was faster. He grabbed his arm and pulled him back to him.

“You’re not going anywhere. Not until I have said what I want you to know.”

Charlie didn’t answer but stared at him, now a little surprised and curious.

“I’ve heard you. Down at the beach. I am sorry for walking away. I didn’t mean to leave you alone. Again, I suppose. But I had no choice, Charlie. I was blown away by your words, I didn’t see that coming.”

Charlie’s eyes saddened.

“I wasn’t aware of you feeling that way for me.” Sawyer sighed heavily. “I didn’t know what to do. Actually, I’m still in the dark.”

“What are you trying to say, Adam?” Charlie was fighting with tears again looking angry.

“I… Charlie, it’s not that I don’t feel anything for you, ok? I’m just not used to reveal my feelings. I’ve always been the tough guy and with you it all changed. You…”

“Stop. You’ve said enough.”

Charlie’s eyes saddened. This was no dream. Sawyer was standing in front of him and officially broke up with him. Charlie couldn’t believe that was really happening, after so many years they’ve found each other again. And Sawyer just stood there and told him that he was not used to open up. And perhaps never would be. Sawyer gave up on Charlie just like Charlie gave up on Sawyer. But when he was really honest with himself, he wasn’t able to forget Sawyer that easy. He had told him that he loved him, no, he screamed it out into the world! It was impossible to leave Sawyer behind and move on. But Sawyer didn’t respond him, he neither told him that he didn’t love him nor did he tell him that he loved him. He had just said nothing. No answer was also an answer. And this time it meant: I don’t love you.

Charlie shook his head slightly and took some steps back.

“Charlie…”

“Don’t! I won’t listen to you! It’s been too much already. I’ve been let down by so many people, my parents, Liam and now you! I can’t stand this feeling anymore! This loneliness is killing me! Why did I even tell you? I’m so bloody regretting it now.”

Charlie started crying but frantically tried to wipe the tears away with his wrists.

“It’s just not fair! I don’t wanna be alone anymore! I just wanna be happy again, you understand? I’m so sick of feeling alone and sad and disappointed. I had expected it from everyone but not from you. I may not remember all that we’ve been through but I remember you telling me that you’ll always be there for me. Was this also a lie?”

Sawyer was about to answer but was interrupted by Charlie.

“Wait, I don’t think I wanna hear that. I don’t believe you anymore. You just left me standing there, Sawyer! I felt lost, like I always felt when I was with Liam! And you know how Liam treated me! You’ve become Liam!”

Sawyer opened his eyes wide in shock. Charlie had screamed the last sentence out loud and was now glaring at Sawyer with tearful eyes then turned his back on him.

“I trusted you. And you deceived me. You…left.”

Sawyer was not ale to speak. He had never seen Charlie like this before: trembling, confused, disappointed.

“You were the only one on this bloody island that was worth living and now… It has no meaning anymore.”, Charlie whispered before wandering off.

Sawyer thought he didn’t hear right. Didn’t Charlie understand him correctly? Obviously not. Sawyer tried to recall what he had said exactly. Everything had changed when Charlie appeared. Of course, because Sawyer fell in love with him. Damn it! Charlie did misunderstand him! He saw Charlie walking away from him. Sawyer was losing him! He couldn’t let this happen! He made some quick steps towards Charlie, grabbed him by his arm again and turned him around violently.

“I will not let you walk away from me! I’ve lost you once because of my own actions, I’m not going to lose you again!”

Charlie stared at him in disbelief. But he had no chance to repeat or even to move for Sawyer embraced him and held him tightly in his arms.

“I won’t let you hurt yourself again.”

“Adam…”, Charlie whispered softly into Sawyer’s shirt.

“I love you, Charlie. I always did. But you must give me time.”

“But I thought you were giving up on me…”

Sawyer put his hands on Charlie’s shoulders now and looked him into his eyes.

“How could you even think something like that?”

With that Sawyer he leaned over to Charlie and covered his lips with his own. He tried to be tender and soft, he didn’t want to scare the younger man. But Charlie’s tongue wanted to touch Sawyer’s, tried to get into Sawyer’s mouth. Realizing this Sawyer parted his lips and let Charlie in. Tongues clashed together caressing each other. Sawyer felt his heart beating faster and began to slide his hands up and down Charlie’s spine and Charlie was doing the same.

When they parted at last out of breath they looked into each other’s eyes. Sawyer smiled at Charlie.

“I won’t give up on you. Never. Trust me.”

Charlie smiled and asked silently: “So, we’re together again? Like we were then?”

“No, Charlie, not like then. We are together like never before.”

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