Watching You

Chapter 5

Grissom closed himself off in his bedroom. He knew there was a reason that he didn't open
himself up to people. If he delved into those memories, those feelings long enough to share
them with someone else then that meant he would have to relive them too. He wished he
really didn't have feelings sometimes. Now he was really in a predicament. Here he
had run off and sought refuge when he should have stood his ground. Sara had
been able to not only open up to him recently but she had also allowed him to comfort
her and it had felt so good holding her today. Why couldn't he allow himself the same
comfort? He must seem like a hypocrite to her.


Sara sat a the table for a minute wondering what in the hell she should do. She wanted
to go to him but she was afraid if she did that he would retreat further. But sitting there
and doing nothing seemed incredibly cold considering how he had offered himself to
her earlier. She took a drink of her coffee and steadied herself, "Here goes nothing,"
she muttered. He could either accept her support or ask her to leave but she had to
offer him a shoulder, this was the love of her life.


As Sara headed down the hallway her nerves seemed to dissipate, if only a little.
She felt like the "Little Engine That Could." Her mantra being, 'I think I can, I think
I can.' She knocked lightly on the door. She waited for him to acknowledge her.
Nothing. She knocked once again accompanied by a soft, "Grissom."

Grissom entertained the thought for a moment that if he ignored her maybe she
would get fed up and go away. She did that a lot. Just left before he had time
to even formulate a sentence. It wasn't the second knock that changed his mind but
rather the almost whisper of his surname. He loved the way she said his last name.
She had a way of making the -om sound more like -uimmmm with the way she drew
out her syllables. It was almost erotic. He walked across the bare floor and stopped
just at the door. "Sara, I'm alright, really."
"Just open the door so I can see for myself then," she demanded.
He hesitated but could tell she wasn't going to take 'no' for an answer.
His heart was pounding in his chest. He had cried in front of very few people in his life
and now she was on the list. He was almost embarrassed to open the door. He knew
deep down, however, that Sara wasn't the type to think that crying made him less of a man.
If anything, she probably would be happy to see his softer side. He opened the door.
"Satisfied?" He tried to mask his pain and embarrassment by acting annoyed with her.
"Not exactly." She replied.
"When did you become such a mother hen?" He persisted with his defensiveness.
Sara wasn't about to give him the spat he was so desparatly pushing for. Instead
she threw her arms around him and hugged him. Grissom just stood there with his
arms dangling at his side as Sara's warmth seeped beneath his clothes.
"Grissom, this works better if you put your arms around me,"
"For crying out loud, Sara, I am fine. I just got a little upset thinking about
my mom and you are making a really big deal out of it." He protested
but couldn't resist accepting the invitation. He wrapped his thick arms around her.
Electric shocks ripped through Sara's entire being. She was fully conscious and wrapped
up in him. It was the most complete she had ever felt. She wanted to tell him so badly
but didn't think now was the time. Little did she know that Grissom's sensor's were on
rapid fire as well. It was as if all his senses had honed in on one thing, Sara Sidle.
The feel of her pressed against him, the smell of skin, the sight of her hair cascading
over his muscular forearm, the sound of the soft hum she uttered when he squeezed her
ever so lightly all combined to drive him insane. He mentally checked off the senses. Touch,
Smell, Sight, Sound, oh and had he forgotten Taste.


He couldn't resist. He pulled her hair back ever so gently and kissed her creamy neck.
It began as just a brushing of the lips across the delicate area but the scientist in him
reminded him that his taste buds were located on his tongue.
He flicked the slick muscle out and traced a path from her
slender neck up her jaw to her pink lips. Sara didn't protest. She just opened her mouth
to him. The kiss was hungry and heated and crushing. It was everything a first kiss
should be. When Grissom finally pulled back. Her lips were red and puffy. Before she
had time to say anything. Grissom lifted her up and carried her over to his bed. He lay
her down reverently and took a moment to admire her pajama clad form. It was when he
began to untie the apron that Sara knew it was time to throw the brakes on.


It wasn't because she hadn't known him long enough or because they hadn't officially dated.
No, Sara knew without a doubt that she could take Grissom to bed with no regrets and without
regard to formalities. But their first time was not going to be comfort sex. She knew he was
on an emotional roller coaster and the timing was just off.
She held her hands up in a postion that could only be interpreted as 'whoa boy.'
Grissom was confused. He thought she wanted him. He knew he wanted her.
She saw his crinkled brow and began to explain, "Grissom, not like this, I want
to be with you but I want us to both be healthy. I want to know that we made love for
the right reasons. I don't want either of us having regrets later. As much as I love
spontaneity, this is something we need to think about."
Grissom knew she was right. And he figured she was waiting more for his benefit than hers.
Sara had never seen him like this before. She knew he wasn't being rational. She knew
he was responding to his body and not his mind. Hell, he hadn't even told her he loved her.
And Sara had said, 'when we make love,' she wasn't interested in just sex with him. And
quite frankly, he didn't think it was something he could have with her either. No, he loved her
and he had to tell her. He had to start making an effort. But now was not the time. Not when
she thought he didn't have his wits about him.
"You're right, Sara, but I am not going to apologize for kissing you because I really have
been wanting to for a long time. And dammit it felt good."
"Yes it did," she had to agree.
"So breakfast or what's left of it is most likely cold by now, Can I take you to Denny's for
a grand slam?"
"No, but they have a decent veggie omelete, and you can take me for that,"
In twenty minutes they were dressed and out the door.