Mercy

 

Chapter IV

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"Before you know it, you will be gone, gone, gone."

- Club Thing, Yoav

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For three days I rarely left my room. I barely ate. Jo and Ash tried to visit me but I never let them in. Dean knocked on my door once on the second day. At least, I thought it was Dean. Jo went as far as to call the shrink, but when I told the lady to fuck off she stormed away angrily after giving me a few choice words herself. I decided to like her a little more after that, but not enough to talk to her.

On the fourth day I began to feel slightly claustrophobic in my room. The swell of grief and guilt I had felt upon realizing the true circumstances surrounding my mother's death had festered and rotted into something awful. It was so bad that all I felt was numbness now. Like that was my body's way of dealing with the invading emotions. I needed to feel something other than the pain or the numbness. I needed a better cure. I'd never been much of a drinker, but I knew enough about alcohol to understand that it cured most ailments of the tormented soul. Or at least it seemed to for a little while. When Ash cornered me in the washroom and told me he was dragging me to the club that night, I didn't object.

And so here I was. The place was packed, dancing bodies everywhere. Over three hundred people had been crammed into the building tonight and the walls looked like they were about to burst. The lights were spastic, splashing colours all around: on walls, ceilings, people. The music pumped through the sweaty air, a super-paced rave song. I stood on the edge of the main crowd with Ash and Dean by my side, leaning back against the glass bar. I'd never noticed it before, but in here it was clear that Dean held some sort of aura around him. He gathered looks from practically everyone who passed him. Some were good, like the one he was receiving now from a passing woman in a short green dress. Others were bad, like the constant glares he got from guys here with their girlfriends. Still, no matter the intent, most of the looks held a tinge of fear in them, and I had to wonder why.

Ash rubbed his hands together. "You ready to party?" he asked us.

"What does your mullet say?" Dean inquired.

I rolled my eyes as Ash ran a hand through his hair and drawled, "Business up front, party in the back." He grinned. "I say I'm ready to party, but Dean, the real question is whether you even remember how to party."

Dean lifted an eyebrow, purple light splashing over his face as he stared into the crowd. "Guess we'll have to see."

I sighed. "Yah, well I'm not really feeling it tonight, so you guys go ahead without me." I didn't want to admit that I'd never been to a club before. I wasn't even old enough to be allowed in, but Jo had known the bouncer at the front door, who she had later disappeared with. I was just here to drink. Not dance.

Ash turned to look at me, slight concern on his face. "You serious, compadre?"

"Yah, I'll just have a couple of drinks." Ash looked as if he was about to protest.

"I'll keep an eye on him," Dean said. "Make sure he doesn't hit any of the hard liquor." It angered me a bit how he said this, like he was on suicide watch or something.

Ash nodded and then gave me one more glance before turning back to the crowd. "Suit yourselves," he said before disappearing into the mass of moving bodies. As he vanished, Dean turned towards the bar and ordered two drinks.

"You know, I don't need to be babysat. I'm not going to try to drink myself to death or anything," I said, making sure my words sounded as bitter as I felt. He glanced at me briefly but didn't say anything. I gave him a dirty look, but I knew I couldn't blame him. I hadn't exactly denied that I'd tried to kill myself earlier. Still, I couldn't help but be angry that no one knew what I was going through right now. That no one knew the truth about my mom or my stepfather. I knew it was unreasonable, but it was kind of like I just expected everyone to know without being told. Especially Ash or Jo. Even Dean... Maybe I'd allow myself to get drunk tonight. Maybe I'd drink until my head split open and the world drained away for awhile.

"Here's your drinks," the bartender announced as she placed two shot glasses before us filled with a clear liquid. Dean nodded thanks, paying with money I had no clue how he had come across. He gained a sly smile from the bartender before she was called away. I reached out to take my drink and downed it in one go. It burned my throat, but I refused to cough.

Dean stared at me with a slightly surprised look. "Bottoms up," he said after a moment, tipping back his head and performing the same disappearing act with his drink. He slammed the glass on the counter, immediately ordering two more.

I could tell Ash planned on going absolutely crazy tonight. The man had hopped onto the dance floor only minutes ago but already he had found two ladies who seemed to be drunk enough to let him dance with them. I turned back towards the bar and Dean handed me another shot glass. "You better not be a lightweight," he said, and I drowned by irritation by knocking the drink back. As I wiped the back of my hand across my mouth I watched as Dean slammed his glass down again. He looked at me and smirked. I couldn't help but return it. Already I felt a warm fuzziness building in my head, like bubble wrap being wound around my brain.

The song changed. A man's voice was heard with an edgy beat in the back.

'I feel like playing the game tonight

This town gets lonely after midnight

And when the animal hunger runs deep

I know I'm never gonna get to sleep'

Dean's eyes were on the crowd. I followed his gaze. It was difficult to make out individual people in the spastic lights. The group was a living mass of torsos and limbs, all intertwined as couples grinded and strangers danced.

'Well some people claim but I know, I know'

Two seconds later and a woman appeared before Dean, her hand already skimming down his arm. She was hot: blonde and busty. She spoke to him, leaning in close to his ear, but I couldn't make out the words her lips formed.

'The deepest, darkest place to go

You never get out once they let you in'

Dean nodded and the woman smiled before she turned around and disappeared into the crowd. I wanted to ask what she had said, but Dean was ordering two more shots. My throat was already used to the burn as I swallowed my third drink of the night. I wondered if this would be enough to get me drunk. I was tired of thinking.

Dean leaned towards me to yell over the music. "I'm going to the washroom," he said, and I nodded my head. The room seemed to tip with me, and I held a hand against the bar to steady myself. I watched as Dean disappeared into the crowd. To be honest, I was sort of glad I was alone, if only for a few moments. That meant Dean didn't think I was much of a suicidal risk. Or maybe he just didn't care. What had given me the impression he did in the first place? He had saved my life before, but he hadn't known me then. He didn't know me now. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to sort these things out, but the bubble wrap surrounding my brain only got thicker.

'And one thing's for sure, one thing's for certain'

"What's your name, sweetheart?" I looked to my left where a woman was leaning on her elbow. Her torso was facing me, her breasts practically hanging out due to the skimpy shirt she wore.

"S-Sam," I stammered, and she let out a laugh.

"How old are you?"

'Such a beautiful face

Such a beautiful girl'

I hesitated. "Twenty-one," I answered, this time with more confidence even though I was lying.

"You don't look twenty-one," she said as she raised an eyebrow.  Her makeup was smudged. Charcoal black smeared under her eyes made her look older than she probably was, but I could tell she wasn't more than twenty-five.  "You're adorable," she said as she came closer, running a hand through my hair. 

My muscles locked up. I wasn't exactly sure how to respond. I had trouble focusing on her face as her breasts pushed against my chest.  "Thanks," I managed to say, and she laughed again, but this time her voice held something more than amusement. Something deep and husky.

'You need a cold soul of concrete here

Just like the soul, the soul of the city'

Her hand tightened as she grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled me closer. "You wanna get out of here?" Her breath tickled my cheek.

Something wet touched my ear and sent a shiver running down my neck. I felt a hand snaking up my thigh and suddenly she was gripping my dick through my pants. It was already hard, and a rush of heat flowed through me because I knew this was wrong. But I didn't seem to care. It was like the bubble wrap around my brain was keeping my thoughts from reaching my body. I still thought them, but I couldn't react to them.  Teeth bit my earlobe and tugged. Then words flowed into my ear again. "Follow me," she said as she took my hand and led me through the crowd. Bodies were all around me, bumping and touching and grinding.

'Well, he's got a hunger

For the sweetest of flavours'

Suddenly I was in a darkly lit room. I could see shadows of people, all hidden in the corners. All writhing and moving. I knew what they were doing.  They were all fucking. As my eyes adjusted I noticed a cushioned couch winding its way around the room. The walls were a deep red, the cushions black leather. The woman pushed me onto the couch at the far end of the space. Then she straddled my lap, giggling the entire time.

'Well, don't worry, baby now, it won't be long'

Her hand rubbed my erection, up and down, and I closed my eyes, focusing on the motion. She leaned her head against mine, breathing into my ear. "You wanna get fucked with me?" She leaned back, looking into my eyes, and I couldn't respond verbally. My mouth wasn't working. Instead, I nodded my head.  She smiled, and then something round and small was passed through my lips. It was a pill, and I swallowed it before I could think it was a bad idea.

'Before you know it, you will be gone, gone, gone'

She was unbuttoning my pants. Now she was reaching in and pulling out my dick. Whatever she had slipped me was making me feel very good. She stroked me as she  traced kisses up my jawline, and I could feel every sense of contact like it was magnified. She was positioning herself above me now, and I knew we were about to have sex right here in public. But everyone was busy doing the same thing. No one cared, and I didn't either.

But suddenly she was being pulled away. I watched as she screamed angrily and kicked at the guy who'd pulled her off my lap.  "Hey, take it easy," a familiar voice said, and I suddenly realized who the person was. "Sam, tuck that back in, would you?"

I looked down at my unzipped pants and followed Dean's orders. Every action seemed like it was in slow motion. Sounds travelled like I was underwater. I could hear the woman cursing and see Dean holding her wrists as she tried to pummel him. Finally she gave up and stormed out of the room. I began to laugh. "Dude, she was gonna kill you."

"Are you fucking high?" Dean asked as he bent down and looked into my eyes. "Shit. Did she give you something?"

I couldn't stop laughing. "You're such a cock blocker."

"Stopping you from having unprotected sex with a woman you haven't known longer than ten minutes?" He grunted as he helped me up from the couch and onto my feet. "I'd call that being a damn good friend, jackass."

"Fuck you too," I spat as he helped me stumble out of the backroom. "It takes you ten minutes to take a piss?" When Dean didn't answer I scoffed before growling angrily, "Practice what you preach." I was remembering the blonde that had approached him earlier.

"It was just a blow job, Sam."

I didn't even know how to respond to that. Mainly because the music had changed again and the electronic sounds were like a futuristic war in my brain. The lights were suddenly lasers piercing my eyes, and I squeezed them shut. Then I reached out blindly until I found Dean, grabbing his shirt and shaking him. "We're at fucking war!" I yelled over the din. "The robots are gonna kill us! Their lasers are everywhere! Save yourself!"

He gripped my wrists tightly and I opened my eyes. His expression read concern, and I suddenly understood...

I'd been hit. The lasers had gotten me. I was dying.

"Save yourself!" I repeated as I tried to push him away. "I'm already dead."

"What the hell did that bitch give you?" he asked, looking at me like I was a nutcase.

"I'm gone, gone, gone," I began to sing. I felt someone bump into me as they walked by. "We're at war!" I shouted again, trying to warn the passing man. I wanted to run after him, but Dean's hands still held my wrists. I turned frantic eyes towards him. "They're gonna kill us all!" The electronic noises were increasing in pace, and I knew the robots were coming closer. I looked around me. The lasers were everywhere.

"Shut your eyes," Dean said, and I complied, my world transforming into darkness. I felt him release my wrists and his palms press against my ears, the sounds of war suddenly growing distant. My hands were still twisted in his shirt, and as he began to walk backwards I followed him. He led me like that for a few minutes, slowly. When I felt cold air on my face I finally opened my eyes again.

We were standing outside the club in an alleyway. It had obviously been raining earlier because there were puddles everywhere and the brick walls were damp. A few people were smoking to the side, and as Dean's hands lifted from my ears I could hear the city's sounds. The song from the club was nothing but a distant noise now.

"We escaped the war," I said, looking around the alley. "But not the alien planet."

Dean frowned. "She messed you up good, didn't she?"

I took in a deep breath as I finally released my hold on Dean's shirt. "You messed me up."

"I did?" he asked, surprised. "I think it was that little pill you swallowed. You know, the one that crazy bitch gave you?"

"No," I said, holding up my hands and beginning to stumble my way down the alley. "You did, with all your amnesia crap."

"So let me get this straight," Dean said as he walked alongside me. "You're messed up because I can't remember who I am?"

"You and your stupid questions," I explained. "You made me realize everything was wrong, wrong, wrong. Now I'm gone, gone, gone." I was inching my way along the alley's brick wall, trying to avoid a large puddle that Dean was simply trudging through. But now I was on a narrow ledge, the puddle transforming into a deep, clear pool. I was sort of amazed at how Dean could be walking on water. But there was a school of angry piranhas swimming towards him. "For Christ's sake, Dean!" I screamed as I pulled him towards me and the safety of the ledge. "Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

He grunted as we collided, by back pressing into the brick wall. He tried to move away but I held him with all my strength, afraid he'd try to walk on water again and be killed by the piranhas. The angry little bastards were hungry.

"Sam, what the fuck are you doing?" He demanded to know as he continued to struggle against my grip. I wondered how he could be so stupid.

"The piranhas want to eat you, dumb ass," I explained. "I know you're like Jesus and can walk on water and shit, but I'm pretty sure they can jump. They'll eat you. But don't worry, because the ledge is safe."

"Sam, let go of me."

"No," I said. "You're going to get yourself killed. Can't you see the piranhas?"

"They don't exist, Sam. You're high. You're imagining it."

"But what if I'm not?" I could feel panic welling up inside of me and I gripped his shirt tighter, pulling him closer. He had to place his hands on the brick wall on either side of my head to stop from losing his balance and falling forward. "I don't want you to die, Dean," I said, looking up at him. "You can't die."

"Jesus Christ, Sammy..." he said in a deflated voice as he let his head fall forward, his forehead almost touching mine.

I took it as a sign of defeat. Victory was mine. Dean wasn't going to break free and be eaten by flesh-eating piranhas. I would keep him here on this ledge forever if I had to. We'd never jump.

I felt something slide against my thigh and panic gripped me again. "Dean," I whispered quietly. "Dean, there's something in your pants. I think it's a snake."

"It's called a boner, Sam."

"A boner?" I was silent for a second. "Why?"

He sighed heavily again, like he was tired, shifting his head so the sound of his exhale was right next to my ear. "Because you're really close to me right now... and I can't help it."

"That makes no sense," I said. "You named your pet snake 'a boner' because of me? That's a strange name, Dean. What if your snake gets loose and you have to chase it through the park. You wanna be calling that name out when children are around?"

Dean burst out laughing. "Damn, you are so far gone right now."

I peeked around his shoulder, making sure that the piranhas were gone. Surprisingly, the deadly pool had been reduced to mere puddles. They were full of goldfish, but no piranhas.

"They're gone," I whispered, letting go of my grip. Dean stepped away and rubbed the back of his neck. He looked uncomfortable and I guessed goldfish made him more nervous than piranhas.

"Watch you don't step on the goldfish." I pointed to a deep puddle swarming with the yellow creatures as I walked around it. Dean followed. We carefully stepped around the small pools of water as we made our way to the entrance of the alley.

We emerged onto a sidewalk that lined the side of the club. Dean cursed as he looked down the street to where Ash's car was parked. "We don't have the keys."

"Let's go back in and find Ash," I suggested, already turning towards the entrance.

"Bad idea," Dean stated as he grabbed my arm and turned me around again. "I don't need you freaking out again and shouting about some alien war with machines and crap."

I was about to argue that Megatron was a friend and would protect us but then I saw something too strange to ignore. A group of large, hairy men were walking towards us and I pointed to them excitedly. "Look, Dean! Cavemen! My time machine worked!" I stared at them with eyes as large as saucers. "They're so primitive."

The group of cavemen were only a few feet away now and staring at us with furrowed eyebrows. They all had long beards and hair, and they stopped right before us, a number of them making a series of low grunts. I laughed. "Dean, look. They're trying to communicate with us." I stepped out in front. Dean tried to pull me back but I shrugged his hand away. The primitive men were a bit scary looking, especially in their leather jackets, but when did you get the chance to speak with real cavemen?

"My name Sam," I said, pronouncing each word slowly and clearly as I pointed to myself. "What are you called?"

"You want me to beat the living shit out of you, kid?" one of the cavemen asked as he took a menacing step forward.

Dean finally managed to pull me back as he stood in front of me. "Uh, that- that won't be necessary. I'm really sorry. My friend, he, uh... he took some bad drugs and now he's acting kind of insane. You really should just ignore him. He doesn't mean it."

The cavemen made some more grunts before carrying on. I watched them go. "That one was really advanced, huh?" I said. "I mean, he spoke such good English and he even knew a swear-"

Dean clamped a hand over my mouth and pushed me back into the alley. My back slammed against the brick wall again as he leaned in close and pinned me with his eyes. "Do you wanna get yourself killed?" he hissed. "Those guys were going to fucking kill you."

I tore his hand away from my mouth. "I think I can take on a few cavemen, Dean. I have thousands of years of evolution on them."

"Those weren't cavemen, Sam. They were Hells Angels. You just called a group of Hells Angels fucking cavemen!"

"Dean," I stared at him with teary eyes. "Dean!"

"What?" His expression softened, but he was clearly still pissed. "What's wrong now?"

"You have to go after them," I said, pointing in the direction the group had disappeared. "They're your family."

Dean rolled his eyes as he stepped back, his anger having receded somewhat. "Ha ha, Sam. I didn't know you were so funny when you were high. Come on, we've got to get you out of here." He grabbed my sleeve and began to lead me out of the alley, but I refused to follow.

"No, Dean. They're your family. You're an angel too. You have wings!"

He stopped and stared at me. "I'm not an angel, Sam."

"But you look like one," I whispered, looking down at my shoes. "I thought you were an angel the first time I saw you."

Dean didn't speak for a moment, but then he said, "Come on, Sam. We've got to get you someplace safe." He eyed me warily as he added, "Somewhere you can't get into any more trouble."

I nodded my head, suddenly fascinated by my untied shoelaces. I stared at them the entire time we walked, wondering if they preferred to be tied or loose. It looked painful, the way they were swirling around and hitting the cement with every step I took. I cringed. I swore I could hear them screaming in pain.

I didn't feel like arguing anymore, but I mumbled "Could have fooled me" underneath my breath as I turned around. With those last words, I continued my trek into the forest that lined the narrow beach, the sound of a second pair of footsteps barely discernable behind me.

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To Be Continued.