Within Your Heart

“Merlin is going to get the surprise of his life,” Mordred said quietly while his master preened himself. Uther took a moment to look the boy over.

“Of course he is. It isn’t every day that I visit lower mortals. He will be surprised and he will be thankful and he will grovel at my feet.” Uther frowned slightly. He turned and faced half the village. The people standing there were partly there to see if Uther could in fact, tame the strange boy that didn’t really fit into Ealdor; and partly there on death threats. Most were hoping Uther was about to fail spectacularly. Merlin might be strange, but Uther was just cruel. They wanted to see the self proclaimed King’s crown slip even a little.

Uther’s followers, namely Helen and Sophia, were crying their hearts out. Why couldn’t the man see what was right in front of him? What did the stupid boy have that they didn’t? He didn’t have their long hair, their prettiness, and their heaving bosoms. No, the guy had a dick and apparently that made him better. This realisation only made them cry more.

Mordred wasn’t too keen on the plan, but being a simple servant he had no choice in the matter. Uther turned to him.

“Now, you know the plan?” Mordred nodded. He turned to the village members and raised his hands. The villagers cheered and wolf whistled on cue. “Not yet you stupid boy!” Uther grabbed Mordred by the ear. The boy tried not to cry out in pain. “When I walk out of that door with Merlin. Got it?” Mordred tried nodding the best he could, hands trying to free his ear. “Got it?”

“Yes sir!” the boy yelped.

“Good.” He let go of his servant and rubbed his hand across his trouser leg as if he had touched something disgusting. Without looking back he marched his way over to the cottage.

-x-

Merlin was sitting with his new magic book on his lap, feet resting on the table, his chair resting on two legs. He had his arms crossed behind his head and was turning the pages by magic. The washing up was also cleaning itself happily in the sink behind him. If Hunith could see her son, she would have shouted at him by now. It wasn’t that she thought her son lazy, but she didn’t think it was good for him to ‘waste’ his magic. She also didn’t approve of feet on the table.

The heavy knock on the door made Merlin jump, nearly sending the chair flying backwards. He managed to get it back on four legs before calling out,

“Who is it?” He was glad his voice sounded casual.

“It’s Uther. I need to talk to you.”

“Oh god!” Merlin winced and hoped he hadn’t said that out loud. He didn’t like the way that Uther had declared himself. It sounded like an order. He hated that. There was no way that man should be ordering him around. He sighed heavily and rubbed his eyes. He knew it would be worse for him if he ignored the man on the other side of the door. He opened it with what he hoped was a relaxed smile and not the grimace he feared. “Uther, it’s, um, a pleasant surprise. To see you. Here.” Uther smiled. Merlin shivered. In horror.

“Yes. Of course. It’s always pleasant to see me. There’s not a person in the whole of Ealdor who wouldn’t want to be you right now.” Merlin seriously doubted that.

“He he, um, sure.” He could feel the smile turning further into a grimace. He shrugged and turned away.

“You see, Merlin.” Uther paused to look in the mirror. He fiddled with his hair a little, then turned back to face the boy again. “I am the man to make all your dreams come true.” Merlin choked. He turned to face Uther wide eyed.

“You don’t even know what my dreams are. You’ve never even talked to me really.” Uther looked slightly surprised at this.

“Well of course I haven’t. I don’t talk to people. They admire me. I ignore them. It’s a simple fact of life.” Merlin was trying not bang his head against a wall. The man was infuriating. He watched as Uther sat down on his vacated chair, put his muddy boots on the table and watched as the brown dirt dripped onto his open magic book. He stared speechless. The nerve of the man. He quickly moved over and grabbed the book from beneath Uther’s feet. He brushed the mud off the best he could and put the book away. “But it has come to my attention, Merlin.” He paused. Merlin tried not to grimace. He was sure he wasn’t going to like this. “You are a very attractive young man.” Merlin’s eyes grew wide. That was certainly not something he was expecting.

“Uh… ok.” Uther looked over at him. That look certainly appeared far more predatory than usual. Merlin looked away in hope of finding something to do. Uther stood up and moved over towards him. Merlin swallowed.

“The most attractive man in this little town. I couldn’t help but notice. I am the best of course and I only deserve the best. That would be you, Merlin.” He backed Merlin into a corner, bracing his hands on either side of Merlin’s head, a lazy smile on his lips. Merlin smiled nervously, seriously considering if kneeing Uther where it would hurt was a wise decision.

“If you say so,” he managed weakly.

“Oh I do. A prize like you at my side. I would be the envy of the town, well, even more than I am already of course.”

“Oh, just imagine that,” he giggled nervously, his nerves getting the better of him.

“I want you Merlin. At my side. In my bed. Fucking you every night. Making you scream my name out of that beautiful mouth of yours.” Merlin hit his head against the wall as Uther leaned against him to kiss him hard. As he pulled away, Merlin ducked under his arms and moved to the other side of the room and stood against the door.

“I don’t know what to say,” Merlin managed, really not knowing, his head and stomach rebelling slightly at the kiss he had received. It was a far from pleasant feeling. Uther smirked and moved back towards Merlin, head slightly lowered, prowling. Merlin’s hand instinctively searched for the door handle.

“All you need to say is yes.” He stood against Merlin once more, leaning against the door, lips just a breath away. Merlin looked into his eyes.

“Uther, I… I just don’t deserve you.” With a real grin, he opened the door. He dodged out of the way while Uther had a brief moment of teetering, before falling out of the door and straight into a wet, muddy patch. Merlin put a hand over his mouth to stop the laugh from escaping and shut the door.

Uther got to his feet amid laughter and wolf whistles. The villagers were almost bent double in hysterics. Uther was furious. Mordred ran over quickly.

“So, how did it go sir?” Uther reddened under the mud and grabbed Mordred by his ear.

“Insolent whelp! I will have that boy. And he will regret the day he denied me.” Mordred tried not yelp. “He will pay for this.” Uther stormed away. Mordred silently followed him.

-x-

A while later Merlin cautiously looked out of the door. He took a deep breath of relief when he saw no one was there. He opened the door wide and walked out. He hated feeling imprisoned in his own home.

With a flash of gold in his blue eyes, a bucket sailed into his hands. He walked over to a small shed where animal feeds were kept. He filled the bucket with seed and grain and strolled over to where the chickens pecked at the ground lazily. As soon as they saw his approach they began to cluck wildly and pester him, flapping their wings a bit. Merlin grinned. Hunith kept the chickens so she had fresh eggs to cook with. Merlin liked them as they gave him something to do. He spread the seed around while trying to avoid stepping on the squawking poultry.

“What does he think I am?” he asked the birds. They ignored him, too intent on the seeds. “A slut?” Merlin sighed. “Oh god, he thinks I’m a slut! Am I? But I can’t be. I’ve never slept with anyone. Unless he knows that and that’s the point.” He rubbed his eyes in frustration. “Can you really see me with that… man?” One of the chickens looked at him as if it was listening. “Merlin, Uther’s little pet. Until he gets bored of me. No, he must think I’m stupid. Fall into his arms. See to his every whim. I don’t think so. Not me.” The chicken clucked at him, then began scouring for seed once more. Merlin growled in his throat. Now he was annoyed. Why did Uther have to come and mess up his day? He needed to work off some tension and decided Morgana’s stable could do with cleaning.

He stormed off to the small stable. Pulling off his scarf and shirt, he set to work. He cleaned out the old bedding, taking some happiness in imagining Uther tripping over in the stuff instead of a puddle of mud. It was the least the man deserved. Using his magic once more, Merlin used water to wash the floor then manually scrubbed it. He wasn’t happy until it was really clean and his muscles ached. Using magic once more, the stable dried and he was able to lay down some sawdust and straw for Morgana when she returned. He also filled a net with fresh hay. He made sure there were carrots to hand as well. Once he was a happy in the knowledge that he had done all he could and feeling slightly less annoyed, he walked back out into the sunlight.

The day was beautifully warm and it helped to relax Merlin further. He walked over to the water trough and used it to rinse off the sweat from his skin. The water was cold but refreshing. He let his hair drip trails of the cold liquid down his back. He finally decided he didn’t want to return to the house just yet so walked across the fields and up the hill that was behind their house.

When he reached the top, he took a deep breath, released it slowly and then collapsed onto the ground happily. The scent of grass and flowers filled his nostrils, the green blades tickled his back and a warm breeze brushed against his chest. For these small moments he felt free. For a few moments he could imagine that there was nothing outside this little bubble of peace. As if he wasn’t surrounded by people who feared him. As if nothing but he existed.

Above, the sky was a pale turquoise, perfect until he saw a cloud slowly rolling by. With a flick of his hand and a flash of gold, the cloud shifted and swirled to form a castle. Merlin grinned at himself. Another cloud rolled by. He formed this one into a unicorn, rearing on its hind legs. Not far behind it he noticed another cloud but he left that one as it was. It already appeared to be in the shape of a dragon. Somehow the dragon caught up with the unicorn.

“That’s not right!” Merlin whispered, frowning slightly as he watched the dragon attach itself to the unicorn in such a way that would have made his mother blush. He couldn’t help but grin though. Just below the animals, a smaller cloud flew by. This one in the shape of a heart. “And that’s just cruel. Even the clouds love each other,” he sighed. One day he might find love, but as long as he was stuck in this little town in the middle of nowhere there was no chance of that. There was certainly no one for him in Ealdor, as pretty as some of those shepherd boys were, there was no intelligence with them. Merlin would be easily bored. He closed his eyes briefly and imagined a world outside of Ealdor. A world where he could belong, where he could practice his magic, where he could find love.

He was drawn out of his reverie by a loud whinny. He sat up abruptly, looking around madly to see where the noise had stemmed from. His eyes alighted on the familiar black horse dragging the small trap, racing towards the stable, her sanctuary. Wide eyed and panicking he ran down the hill. He grabbed hold of her halter even as Morgana was still tossing her head around.

“Morgana!” he shouted firmly. The horse quietened at his voice and touch but still seemed agitated. Merlin looked around for a sign of his Mother. “Where’s Mother? Where is Hunith, Morgana?” The horse whinnied as if trying to tell him. Her coat was soaked with sweat and she was shivering violently. Merlin knew something terrible had happened. He led Morgana to the stable and tied her to the door while he unhitched the trap. He quickly located the saddle and fitted it onto Morgana even though she was still uneasy. She began to calm under his hands as he kept talking to her softly, despite the fear that was building in his gut. He would have left immediately but remembered the one time he had tried to ride Morgana bare back. It was not an experience he wished to repeat and his nether regions thanked him for his consideration.

He rushed back into the stable to grab his shirt and scarf. While putting them back on, he ran indoors to grab his coat. He had little time for anything else. Right now his Mother needed him and that was more important. He almost threw himself into the saddle after untying Morgana. He turned the horse around and dug his heels in. Morgana seemed to understand the importance of what was needed and raced ahead, despite the fear of returning to where she had escaped from.