Down the Rabbit hole

*** Sorry this one took longer than I thought, but I know it's worth it. This is a really long chapter, so the next one may be a few weeks, but don't worry, I will finish this come hell or high water ^_^. Hope you enjoy it. Please comment, tell me you like it, tell me you hate it, just TELL ME!!***

House had been ready to strangle a telemarketer with their own cord as he walked over to the ringing phone. He had lost all sense of judgment standing behind Cuddy, holding her hand, caressing her face, breathing in deeply the faint sent of vanilla that wafted from her hair. It had been a small taste of heaven that he was sure would have escalated had he not been so rudely interrupted.

Although he was undeniably angry at that moment, part of him was grateful for the interruption. Was this truly what she had wanted? Was HE really what she wanted? Or had she simply been swept up in the emotion of the past few days? She had almost lost him. Was this simply leftover relief that she hadn’t lost a friend?

After all House’s ranting about finding a man who was good enough for her, he was not about to say that he was that man. He knew he was no prize. Cuddy deserved much better than him, and he knew it. He also knew that if he was this confused about the situation, then Cuddy had to be equally confused, and he would be damned if he forced her into something that she was unsure of. He was sick… but not that sick.

As he angrily picked up the phone, he made his decision. He had chased off men before, he could do it again, even if that meant chasing off himself.

“Hello?” He grumbled into the receiver. It was a little more callous than he had intended, but he was feeling a little more callous than he had intended as well. It nearly floored him when he heard the familiar male voice.

“… House? ...It’s me…”
House felt like a building had just landed on him. He hadn’t exactly been sure if he was ever going to hear this voice again, but here it was. He struggled with his voice for a few seconds before he was finally able to utter,

“…Wilson?”

“…Yeah… um, I wasn’t bothering you, was I?”

House paused for a second and then turned to look at Cuddy. She was watching him with a look of concern, having obviously deduced who was on the other line. Busy? He wasn’t sure he could actually call it that.

“No, not really. Why? Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine… I just… need to talk to you. But, not over the phone. Can you meet me?”

House turned his head meaningfully at Cuddy before repeating,

“Hmm can I find a ride to meet you somewhere…let me think.”

Cuddy looked at him for a few seconds before nodding.

“I’ve got a ride. When and where do you want me to meet you?”

“Williamson Park by the river near the picnic area at 7. You sure you can make it?”

“I’ll be there.”

As he gently set the phone back down on its hook, he couldn’t help but wonder. What did Wilson want? Was this the visit were Wilson would finally end their friendship? Did Wilson just want to see House so he could punch him in the face? Or was this actually an attempt to reach out?

House wasn’t sure he could take the loss of his best friend. He had dealt with pain in the past. The crippling of his leg had left him deep emotional wounds, and Stacy’s divorce had been even worse. If he were to lose his oldest and best friend… he didn’t know if he would be able to take a blow like that after all he’d been through with Amber.

The simple thought of Amber retched up idea he had been trying to stave off. Thoughts about whose fault her death was. Thoughts that maybe it should have been him to die… that maybe it should still be him to die.

Suddenly, he felt a warm hand on his arm. He looked for its source, and found Cuddy looking at him with a concerned expression, like she had been reading his mind. She had become good at that recently.

“It’s going to be OK, you know that right?”

He didn’t respond immediately. He stared at her for a few seconds, pain barely masked on his face. Her’s was gentle, and caring… caring about him. Thought of her caring at all about someone like him was more than he could take. He turned his face away from her.

“Everything will be alright in the end… if it’s not alright, it’s not the end.”

He turned back to give her a sardonic look for the corny little quip she had spouted. She simply responded to his look with another smile. He could tell she was trying to get him to retort… that was the normal state of things, and if he wasn’t retorting than he wasn’t alright.

The thought made him smile again. She was trying to make him feel better, trying to make him forget about what was to come, and he was grateful. She had been wonderful through this whole ordeal, and he felt overwhelmed.

Before he could stop himself, he reached around her shoulder with his unoccupied arm and pulled her into a deep embrace. He could tell that she had been startled, but he detected no sign of resistance as he held her. As he felt her relax into his arms, he smiled and let his head fall to her shoulder. He breathed in her sent and treasured it, the small trace of vanilla and something floral… jasmine? He couldn’t tell, but he could have stayed in that nook on her shoulder all night.

But, he knew that he couldn’t. He didn’t deserve her.

He pulled away before saying.

“So, you are as easy as Wilson and Chase said you were,”

She narrowed his eyes at him. He simply smiled back.

“We’d better get going. Don’t want to keep your star Oncologist waiting.”

And with that he turned and headed to the door, hoping like hell that she couldn’t see the pain on his face.
****

“OH MY GOD! You drive like an old woman! Hurry up!”

“Maybe if you got out and pushed we’d get their faster… in fact I think you should just get out period.”

“But then who will be here to give you such lovely conversation?”

He said while batting his eyes. She rolled hers.

“Hey, need I remind you that I didn’t have to drive you to your little play date. I could have made you suffer.”

“Yes, but then I would have made you suffer in return, so we both know that this was mutually beneficial.”

“House! Can’t you just admit for one second that someone is actually doing something nice for you?”

“… Cuddy pull over here.”

“Wait, what? I didn’t really mean for you to get out when I said that.”

He gave her a glance before saying,

“No, no. Pull over at this coffee shop on the corner. I need to pick up something.”

“… You’re not serious. You know that Wilson is probably waiting for you.”

“Just pull over.”

She obliged, but not happily. She waited in the car as house picked up coffee and what appeared to be a fresh made honey bun. Cuddy piped up as he climbed back into the car.

“You know I still planned on cooking once we got back.”

“Can we get to the park?”

“Are we going to need to stop at the Krispy Kreme also?”

She asked sarcastically.

“Only if you want to feed that already bulbous bottom.”

He gave her a wicked grin as she sighed and put the car into gear. It took them less than 10 minutes to get to the park from the coffee shop. Cuddy parked in the lot right behind the playground. Through the jungle gym and beyond the grass behind, House and Cuddy could see Wilson leaning against the railing by the river. He was watching the sun set over the water. Cuddy looked at House.

“I’ll wait in the car.”

He nodded his head slowly before responding.

“Thank you.”

As she opened her mouth to say a few words of encouragement, House opened the door and got out bringing the coffee and the bag that contained the honey bun. She was surprised to see that he hadn’t eaten any of it. Then it hit her. There was, in fact, a honey bun connoisseur at the hospital, and it wasn’t House. She smiled to herself as she sat back in her chair.
****
House approached his friend slowly. Wilson didn’t acknowledge House, but simply stared out over the water. He leaned over the railing, clasping his hands together. When House was a mere 5 feet away, Wilson finally spoke slowly without looking at House.

“This was where I took Amber on our first date.”

Wilson smiled gently to himself. House joined his friend at his side and assumed a very similar position holding the bag and cup over the rail as he leaned and looked out at the setting sun. The light dazzled the water and a breeze lightly licked at House’s hair. Wilson spoke again.

“We had a picnic under that big tree a little up the hill and then we watched the sun set just like this and talked… I had been thinking about proposing to her you know… I would have done it right here.”

The two men continued to avoid eye contact.

“So… you called me out here to propose to me instead?”

House wasn’t sure if he should have jumped too quickly into his usual glib, but he figured that if he couldn’t now… then he was never going to be able to. House was pleasantly surprised when Wilson chuckled and shook his head. They stood in silence for a few more seconds.

“…I wanted to hate you.” Wilson said.

Wilson finally looked at House as he spoke. House didn’t know what to say.

“I wanted to hate you. I wanted to be able to pin this hurt on something. I wanted to find a reason. I wanted there to be something to hate, something for me to be angry with. So I wanted to hate you.”

House didn’t speak.

“But I couldn’t. Not because I knew that it wasn’t your fault… which I do by the way.”

House let out a small sigh of relief. He was finally able to look at Wilson, and what he saw tore him apart. Wilson’s eyes were watering as he spoke, and House could hear the distinct sound of his larynx enflaming with emotion. He was getting choked up.

“But because, I knew I needed my best friend to get though this.”

A small tear slid down the side of his face, and Wilson let out a sob as he said.

“Oh god, House. I miss her.”

He let his head sink low as he began to faintly sob. House didn’t speak. He stood in silence and let his friend cry. It was all he could do for him, and they both knew it. Slowly Wilson began to calm down. House nudged Wilson’s arms with the bag. Wilson looked up as he dried his face and finally noticed the bag and coffee House was extending to him. Wilson looked slightly puzzled as House said.

“They’re your favorite.”

Wilson took the coffee and bag and took a glance at the honey bun. When he didn’t say anything for a few seconds House said.

“It was on the way.”

Wilson finally smiled slightly.

“A peace offering I take it?”

House smiled in return.

“Something like that.”

House’s smile slowly faded, and he turned his eyes back to the dying light on the water.

“… it should have been me.”

Wilson didn’t say anything.

“Not a day goes by that I don’t think that. Part of me just wants to be alone so that I can make that happen… but the other half of me realizes that I can’t be alone because I want to make that happen. I think Cuddy knows it, too.”

He finished with a small laugh.

“I guess that’s why she doesn’t leave me alone.”

Wilson took a small bite out of the bun.

“Well, It wasn’t you, House, and if you go now then… I’ll be alone.”

He swallowed the bite slowly before looking at him.

“I need you right now… if I didn’t then I wouldn’t be talking to you.”

House smiled slightly before looking back over the water.

“I guess I’ll just have to stick around to take care of your worthless butt then, won’t I?”

Wilson responded with a small smile of his own before saying,

“I suppose you’re right.”

The two men watched the rest of the sunset in silence. Neither really needing to speak, but both experiencing a feeling of relief so profound that they couldn’t have been happier at this point.
****
Later that night


“But Mommy, I don’t want to go to bed.”

House barely caught the pillow that was thrown at his face in response.

“What part of HEAD TRAUMA do you not understand? You need rest, and come hell or high water, you are going to get some.”

“So then throwing pillows at my head will surely make the head trauma better, right?”

“I…”

“Exactly, so why don’t we all just admit that you’re always wrong, and then we’ll go back in the den and watch some tv until we pass out. Sound fun?”

“House, I’m not leaving until you get into the bed. You’re already half way there. You’re in sweats and a t-shirt and the bed has been turned down. Just get in!”

“You’re really going to try a stand off with me?”

“With this, yes I will. Because I know that you will get tired eventually, and if you fall asleep at all, I win. If I fall asleep, no big deal.”

She was right. House looked at her grudgingly before he finally rested his cane on the bedside table, and began to crawl into bed. Cuddy smirked before House retorted,

“So, are you going to tuck me in?”

“Good night, House.”

She began to walk out the room when she heard,

“Not even a bed time story?”

“Good night! House.”

“Fine, fine.”

She tried to shut the door again before she heard,

“Where will you be?”

Cuddy rolled her eyes and sighed.

“Where do you think? On the couch.”

“It’s a big bed, you know?”

“House…”

“I’m just saying, that couch is mighty uncomfortable.”

“I’m not sleeping with you, House.”

“Who said anything about sleeping with me? I just meant for you to lie in bed next to me.”

“That’s what I meant!! Ugh, I’m not playing this game.”

As she began to close the door for a third time she heard House again.

“Wait, wait, Cuddy really.”

“What, House!? Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t just ignore you?”

House was quiet for a second as he looked at Cuddy. He slowly responded in his most serious tone.

“…stay.”

Cuddy was baffled. Did he really mean this? Why would he want to sleep with her? Besides the obvious reason of course.

“Why? I’m right outside the door.”

House looked at her again for a few more seconds before turning his head away slowly. Cuddy couldn't help but notice his expression was slightly pained.

“I just…wanted some company. I didn’t think I should be alone… But, you’re right. It would be weird.”

House rolled over onto his side and pulled his pillow up to him. He waited for the sound of the door to close, but was instead surprised to hear Cuddy sigh and say,

“Move over.”

He obliged immediately, and made room. She threw off her shoes, but noticeably left her other clothes on as she crawled in.

“One move, House, and I’m gone!” She said sternly.

House nodded his head sincerely. She turned on her side and closed her eyes. House watched her for a few more minutes before he too rolled over and closed his eyes. He did his best to hide the smile of happiness that was on his face as he moved. That faint scent of vanilla and jasmine was wafting towards him, and he felt comforted.
*****

Cuddy heard the sound of waves. As she slowly opened her eyes, she was met with the sight of the ocean. She was in a hotel room looking out at a patio with a white beach and crystal clear water. There was not a soul in sight on the beach, just the sound of waves, the sway of palm trees and the smell of the sweet salty air.

She walked toward the sliding glass door that led out to the patio. As she opened the door, a breeze blew the billowy white skirt she had on. Her hair was loose around her shoulders, falling in sexy curls around the fitted white tank top she had on. She closed the door behind her and walked passed the empty lounge chairs on the patio and stepped off onto the beach.

She only took a few steps and marveled at the feel of the sand between her toes. The sun was warm as she closed her eyes and let the sensations overcome her. She was perfectly serene. She was sure that nothing could have made her happier… well, almost nothing.

“I hope your lack of underwear is for my benefit.”

She nearly jumped out of her skin, and turned to see where the voice was coming from. On the patio, in one of the previously empty chairs, was House. He was lounging lazily with his cane resting against a nearby table, and was staring at her adamantly. She felt her face go red with her lack of response, and her breathing started to grow slightly more rapid.

He seemed to notice all of this as his smile widened to an almost wicked look. He pulled his cane to him, uncrossed his legs and hoisted himself up. She seemed rooted to the spot she stood on as he slowly made his way to where she stood.

The wind blew at his white button-up shirt, and khaki slacks. With each step he took, he seemed to be sizing her up, and she felt as if she was under a spot light, as though his looks could see right through to her thoughts… which were hovering around the slight bulge pulling at his loose pants.

By the time he reached her, Cuddy was sure that her color could rival that of the devil himself. She was flushed and her breath was intense, facts which House seemed to notice immediately… facts which seemed to please him greatly.

He stood a mere foot away from her. He watched her as if he was trying to remember each contour of her face. All she could do was stare back at him with her lips parted slightly with her deep breaths. Even with the skirt and top, she felt naked under his gaze, a fact that brought every part of her body to heated attention.

The wind blew a lock of hair into her face, and right on cue House reached up to push it away, as if he wanted nothing obstructing his view of her face. He smiled when she didn’t shy from his touch. In fact, she closed her eyes slightly at the immediate touch, but looked back into his eyes as he began to caress the side of her face.

His smile only widened at this. The touch slowly changed from a slight caress of the fingers to a full palm, and slowly she began to feel him pull her face towards his. He brushed her lips gently. She could have melted with the tenderness of the gesture. He didn’t pull away. He waited for her reaction, and as he saw her willingness, he pulled her in again for a deeper kiss.

His lips were soft and warm. They pulled at hers gently as the hand that had been on her face moved to her shoulder. She felt herself leaning into the kiss with a need she had not been previously aware of. He simply obliged and parted his lips. She responded with equal eagerness.

Both of his hands were on her now. One was on her back, holding the cane as well, and the other was lightly caressing the back of her head. Her hands were on his chest, grabbing at the cloth of his shirt. She felt the hand at the back of her head slowly move down to her shoulder toward her breasts. He lightly grazed his hand over the side of her right breast, letting his thumb fall over her taut nipple.

She let out a small gasp against his mouth, and she felt him smile against her lips. He slowly broke the kiss and looked at her intently. Her lips were wet and swollen from the kiss, and she was breathing deeply.

“Maybe we should go inside.”

He asked in little over a whisper. All she could do was nod her head as they began to turn back to the room. Cuddy blinked and they were suddenly in the room. She looked around the room and noticed that they were on either side of the bed. House had lost his shirt, and she noticed that she had lost her skirt. She was in nothing but a tank top and the sheer underwear House had not seen through the skirt.

He watched her as he slowly began to climb onto the bed. She couldn’t help but admire the sexy movement of his shirtless body as he crawled. She followed shortly afterward. They met at the center of the bed, and renewed the kiss that had been postponed on the beach.

Cuddy slowly felt herself being lowered onto the bed. House followed and gently began to trace kisses down her neck. She let out soft gasps as he went. When he reached the top of her shirt he gently lifted it over her head and discarded it on the floor. She felt his mouth fall on one of her taught nipples and when he pulled her into his mouth, she let out a moan.

As he sucked, his other hand was at work on her other nipple, playing with it and tracing circles around it. She felt pools of heat begin to form in her underwear, and as if House knew her thoughts, he began to move his hand down her belly. With his mouth still working her breast, he slipped his hand inside her underwear.

She moaned loudly as one of his fingers slipped between her folds. As he felt her wet heat, he moaned softly against her. She could feel his erection pressing hard against her leg, straining against the material of his pants. He slowly ran his finger up and down her fold feeling all of her.

She was getting hotter by the second, and when entered her with a finder, she thought she would lose it. He finally relinquished his hold on her nipple, and moved to pull off her panties. He threw them aside. His hand returned to its previous task, but his mouth decided to take a new course.

He began by kissing her stomach, and slowly started moving down. He traced a line with his tongue and stopped only so that he could part her legs a little more for him. When his mouth engulfed her hips shot up. She was moaning senselessly now. His fingers were working her hole, and his tongue was dancing around her clit.

She could feel the waves of heat building in her stomach as she got close to her climax. She looked down at House and said

“Oh god, House! I’m close!”

On cue, he pushed another finger inside of her. She threw her head back onto the pillow as she moaned loudly. Her fingers gripped the sheets in a death grip as he pumped her steadily to her peak. Her climax suddenly began to grip her and she shouted.

“Greg! Oh god, Greg! I’m coming!”

She felt her body spasm around his hand, and her orgasm slowly began to fade. She felt him crawl up to her side. He stared into her eyes, and Cuddy knew that she was feeling more for him than a simple sexual attraction.

“Cuddy!”

The bedroom scene began to spin.

“Cuddy, wake up!”

She opened her eyes and found herself back in House’s bed… exactly where she wanted to be.
****

House had woken to the sound of Cuddy moaning in her sleep. He gently shook her and said her name a few times to wake her. He watched as she gently lifted her eyes to him. When her eyes finally came into focus, she smiled at him. He found the expression a little interesting, but ignored it.

“You were moaning in your sleep.”

She simply looked at him rather dazed and said

“Just a dream…”

“A nightmare?”

She giggled a little and shook her head. This really intrigued House, but again he ignored it. She yawned and began to move towards him. Before he could stop her, she was curled into the crook of his arm and her breathing was evening out.

“Just a dream…”

He looked down at the beautiful woman asleep with her arms around him and began to wonder. What kind of dream makes a person moan in their sleep, but wake up in a really good mood? He smiled at the answer and let his arm fold over her shoulder. He would have to tease her in the morning, but in the mean time, he would simply let the feel and smell of her lull him to sleep.