Seeds of Jealousy

Brianna



It’s been a year since the judge placed me with my dads. I can’t believe how many things have changed. The twins are now a little over a year old. I’m 12 and getting ready for my dads’ wedding.



Ceremony.



I look in the mirror to see Deb standing behind me, smiling.



“You look beautiful,” she whispers.



“Thanks. Do you think my mom will make it?” I ask her.



I started visiting more often after she went into the clinic and now she’s out, living in an apartment not far from Tremont. She seems to be better and even started dating this guy she met at the hospital. I can’t remember his name, but he spent a lot of time there visiting his sister. Mom seems to like him a lot.



She has apologized to my dads so many times. Yes, I call Justin dad now; it’s what he is.



“I don’t know, baby. She was invited with the hope that she wouldn’t do anything stupid.”



“I know that my dads really invited her for my sake, but she really is trying now.”



“I know, Hun. It’s just going to take time for everyone to trust her again. After what she did, we can’t trust her until we know for sure,” Deb tells me.



“I know. I mean she still isn’t allowed to take us on her own. The judge set a date in a few months to review again. I just don’t want to go. I love her, but I want to stay here.” I wipe a tear.



“Hey, no crying yet. Sweetie, let’s not worry about your mom right now. This is a good day. A special day.” She kisses my check.



“You’re right. I just miss the mom I had before we moved here. But I’m glad we did. Now I have my dads, too, as well as the best grandma ever.”



She kisses me once more. “Oh now, honey, you are going to make me cry. Let’s finish getting ready.” She smiles at me while wiping the lipstick off my face as we laugh.



“Ohh, don’t you two look Fabulous?” Emmett gushes.



“So do you,” Deb tells him as we look at him all decked out in white and pink with a purple jacket.



“Thank you, babies. It took forever to find the right combo. Okay, no, I just picked it out.”



We look at him, laughing.



“Well, the boys said that I needed to look different.”



“You always do, Em, and we love you for it,” Deb says, kissing him on the cheek.



“You ‘bout ready, flower girl?” Justin asks, walking into the room.



“Yes.”



“Oh my God, Baby, you look gorgeous!” Em squeals.



“Thanks, Em, so do you.”



He looks to me and I shrug.



“Let’s get this thing started,” Justin suggests, smiling at me.



“Justin…” I start to say.



“I’m not sure, honey. She might be out there.”



I smile once more.



Brian



I’m standing here, looking out at the crowd and wondering how I’m going to get through this. Then I see my answer walking in with my daughter and his best man, Emmett, who once again is dressed to kill. Kill me, that is.



Justin smiles as he walks towards me and I can’t help but smile back.



As I watch my future come toward me, I think back on all the good times we’ve had. It’s been a bumpy ride, but there were a lot of great times. This past year was a rocky one, though.



After the hearing, Dee went into the hospital as was suggested by the judge. She apologized a few hundred times to everyone but we still don’t fully trust her. Not after everything that has happened.



She went through with the therapy and is on some medicine that helps her with her depression. But the thing that has helped her most is the reminder of her son and daughters.



I see her sitting in the back row watching her daughter walk down with flowers. Justin and I have never done things like normal people and he said he wouldn’t carry flowers so Brianna gets to carry the bouquet.



She looks so pretty and damn Justin looks hot and Em looks, well, Em looks like something.



I see Justin’s smile brighten up the room as he walks towards me. We flew everyone up to Canada to do this. I wanted it to be real. Well, as real as it can be for him.



Brianna stops in front of me, kissing me then moving on. Emmett does the same thing but with tears threatening to fall. I don’t know why Justin decided to ask Emmett to be his Best Man. Well, he said he’s more like the Maid of Honor.



Next up to me is Justin and I smile, pulling him in to me and laying a kiss on him. Forgetting where we are, I deepen it until we hear ‘umm boys’ from Emmett.



Our lips part, but our eyes don’t move from one another as the minister or whatever she is starts the ceremony.



“We are gathered here today to witness this couple united as one. Though this marriage will not be acknowledged in the States, it will be acknowledged in the hearts of those here today as well as the grooms. I have been told they have written their own vows so at this time I will let them take the floor.”



I look at Justin who smiles at me before he starts to speak his heart to me.



“Brian, as we stand here today in a place we never thought we would, I have to say what’s on my mind and in my heart. When we met, I knew that you would be the one who would change my life forever. You told me the first night that no matter who I was with, you would be with me and you were right. Not just in tricks but with life in general. You were there through my bashing and my therapy and made me see that I could do anything I put my mind to. When you got cancer, I was scared of losing you but never once did I think of leaving. Then, with the whole thing with … well, with everything that’s happened this past year, I’m just glad my family is with you.”



I can feel a tear coming to my eyes as he continues.



“Brian, I couldn’t have done all that I have without you and I would never want to even try. I love you with all my heart, my body and my soul. I know that this won’t be legal when we go home, but as long as we are together, it will always be real. I will always be there for you. Forever. Thank you for making all my dreams come true. I love you, Brian Kinney.”



I lean down and kiss him.



Justin



He puts his forehead to mine as he smiles.



“Brian, please recite your vows.” The minister tells him.



“I have to say, I didn’t write them down.”



I look at him in shock.



“Stop worrying, Sunshine. I don’t need to write them down for they are always in my mind and heart.”



I kiss his lips softly then let him continue.



“Justin, the night I met you I also knew you would change my world. Little did I know it would be like this. When I asked your opinion on naming Gus, I knew then that you weren’t just a trick. Okay, I knew before then, the minute I saw you under that light. When you asked me to the prom, I wasn’t going to go, but I did because I loved you then. Then, that same night, you were bashed. It was the worst night of my life.”



I see tears in his eyes as he speaks.



“I thought I was going to lose you and I promised if you made it, no, when you made it, I would never let you go. Then when I got cancer, you were the one who didn’t let me go. You showed me how strong you are just by being you. I love the fact that you can see through my bullshit and know how I feel. Justin, I am glad that you are my kids’ father. All I know is that I feel you are home to me. You are right, this won’t be legal back home, but as long as we are together, which will be a very long time, we will know it’s real. I’ve always known that. You thank me for making your dreams come true. Well, Sunshine, you have made mine come true. Thank you for giving me what I have always wanted. Even when I wouldn’t admit it, it was in my heart. I can’t even imagine what kind of person I would be without you. You made me a better man; you made me a better father, just by being there. You showed me how to keep my heart open. You have always been enough for me. I’ve always thought of you as my own personal angel. I love you, Justin Taylor. Now and forever.”



I feel tears spilling from my eyes, but as I go to wipe them, Brian stops me. “Tears of love, Sunshine,” he whispers in my ear. “I have them, too.”



“If there is anyone here who thinks this couple should not be joined together, please speak now,” the lady says and we all look at Dee who shakes her head.



“The rings, please.”



We look at Gus who is playing with the rings and we all laugh. Taking them and placing them on each of our fingers, we kiss once more.



“Congratulations to the new husband and husband. I would say you can kiss the groom but you already are,” she says with a chuckle. Turning to the assembled guests, she continues with a smile, “May I introduce Mr. Brian Kinney-Taylor and Mr. Justin Taylor-Kinney.”



Everyone laughs and claps as Emmett lets out a big, crying sigh.



They’re still clapping and shouting as we move together into the dance area. Who would have thought we could find a club like Babylon here in Canada? We made the backroom into something like a ‘church’ with chairs lining the walls. They will move those out so people can go back and fuck.



Just as we are starting to get into the groove we hear the music stop and someone takes the stage.



“Greetings, beautiful people. We have some people who would like to say a few words. First up, Brianna, daughter of the happy couple.”



“Hi, umm, I’m Brianna. I wanted to say congrats to my dads for being strong enough to do this. I also want to say thanks for letting me be in it and be in your lives. I love you both. I will always be there to baby-sit. Justin not only treats me like his own daughter, but he’s also taught me a lot about art and about life. He’s amazing and if Dad hadn’t married him, I would have. I love you both.” She hands the microphone off to Michael and steps off the stage as he starts to speak.



“When Justin and Brian first got together, I was the first one to say it wouldn’t last. Well, they proved me wrong and I’m happy for it. They have been through Hell and back and I am glad that we are all here to witness Brian Kinney marry his true love. Justin, you have snatched the one man no one could, and for that alone, welcome to the family. I’m here if either of you need anything.”



We give him a hug as a few more of our friends offer their congratulations and best wishes but then Dee stands up there and my heart stops.



“I know that you probably don’t want me here, but I wanted to thank you for letting me be here for Brianna and the twins. When I first came back I had in my mind that things would be different but seeing the two of you together, I know it’s the right thing for you both. Congratulations.” She hands the microphone back as she walks over to get a drink.



As the party goes on, Deb takes the kids home so that we can continue on to the honeymoon. Brian looks around the dance floor and then lifts my chin so that he’s looking into my eyes.



“From this moment on, your dance card is always going to be full,” he says with a loving smile, “and there’s only going to be one name on it – Brian Kinney-Taylor.”



I kiss him, knowing that it means so much more then just the words.



“I love you,” I whisper in his ear.



“I love you too, Sunshine.”



He kisses me with a promise of our future and I know that that’s exactly what it will always be…



OUR FUTURE.