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December 26, 2010 at 12:00 AM
great story
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April 6, 2008 at 12:00 AM
LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! should make a ssssssssssssssequal were Dee ain't fully healed hehe
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March 10, 2006 at 12:00 AM
all right. i admit, my bad. my review was a bad one. but at the time, i was in a rush because i share a computer and was being kicked off. when i returned to submit another one, aff had crashed. no reviews except etc etc etc. but now it is back and i can give a full review. it was really awesome and well thought out. i don't come across many full length qaf stories so this was a refresher. i love the way you used the extra character to create brian and justin's sucky universe. but things turned out great in the end. the promise of a sequel seems really good because the last chapter is sureal. like there will be something to shatter their happiness. i really hope that there will be a sequel. two thumbs up. :D
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February 13, 2006 at 12:00 AM
threat of a sequel? *eyes light up* sounds fun, after reading this. :D
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August 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This was a really fun story! The characters are have pretty different personalities from the show, but thats the part of the point of this, isnt it? Good job and thanks!
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June 8, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I really liked this story. I liked the kids alot. I liked how plain bonkers Dee was. Maybe you didn't give the main characters a lot of credit in the intelligence area. But I thought on the whole the story was great. I definitely think this requires a sequel! Thanks so much for writing this...I enjoyed it a bunch!
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June 5, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I wanted to say thanks to those who have been reading SEEDS. I'm glad some of you are enjoying it. SInce I am not sure how to repond to these seperatly or if u can, but I wanted to say thank you.
Also NEN, i wanted to thank you for your opinions, however, I feel the need to tell you that this story is an AU..meaning Authors Choice ways. It isn't like the boys on the show. This story is one of my own voice and that it is used with the boys in mind. Brian isnt the hard ass in the show, he is supportive of Justin in all ways. As well as Justin is supportive of Brian. Justin isnt a wimp and if you read more then you might see it. As for how Dee is, i knew someone as crazy as her. People are forgiving and in my mind in this story, Brian is. He has never slept with Lindsey in this fic and Dee and Brian were both from abusive homes.
They are all NON like the B/J on the show, just after them on it. I would have emailed you if I could find your email or name in this thing.lol
For those who are enjoying it, more to come soon and you can find my other stuff on www.bjfic.net under Juliet
thank you again.
Also NEN, i wanted to thank you for your opinions, however, I feel the need to tell you that this story is an AU..meaning Authors Choice ways. It isn't like the boys on the show. This story is one of my own voice and that it is used with the boys in mind. Brian isnt the hard ass in the show, he is supportive of Justin in all ways. As well as Justin is supportive of Brian. Justin isnt a wimp and if you read more then you might see it. As for how Dee is, i knew someone as crazy as her. People are forgiving and in my mind in this story, Brian is. He has never slept with Lindsey in this fic and Dee and Brian were both from abusive homes.
They are all NON like the B/J on the show, just after them on it. I would have emailed you if I could find your email or name in this thing.lol
For those who are enjoying it, more to come soon and you can find my other stuff on www.bjfic.net under Juliet
thank you again.
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June 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I read through maybe halfway, and just felt like I had to stop. Just because of the reason that you have changed the characters too much.
Let's start with Justin. We all know how he has changed from season to season, and unless this is before season 1 (most unlikey, considering Brian and Justin are together), he would never give up that easily and let Dee order him around. He would have talked to Brian at once. And you've made him so sappy and childish. Through season 1-4 we have witnessed him cry two or three times. He's stronger than that. Maybe not at the very beginning, but like I said, they change, and so has he. It's not like I don't want him to show emotion at all, but try not to change him to much.
And Brian. Brian from the series is a cold, hard-to-read, trick-loving bastard. Your Brian is just... too sweet. Okay, so a woman he hasn't seen in ten years show up telling him he has a daughter. "Okay, hello honey, welcome to my life." No. Well, after having the blood-test runned (and I would think it was Brian who would have wanted that) it was okay for them to just move in.
And he's too loving with Justin. Don't get me wrong, I love a little flirting and teasing between them, but it's just too much. And what's with the "I love you"'s? I haven't heard Brian saying that once, and everyone who keeps track of the series knows that he (so far anyway) doesn't have to say it in words. We know he loves Justin, yes, but he doesn't say it. One other thing that really made me shake my head was:
Feeling him cum inside of me, I notice we didn’t use a condom.
“Brian?” I look at him.
He just looks back at me, smiling. “It’s ok. I want to be as close to you as I can.”
No way. That would never, EVER, happen after the little speech he gave Justin in 207, no matter how close he wanted to be. He knows the danger of AIDS/HIV. “I want you safe, I want you around for a long time.” So don't write that, no matter how sexy it may appear.
When he found out how Dee tried to blackmail Justin, your Brian didn't act at all. I don't really know what the real Brian would have done in that situation, but I know he would have done something. The same with the next Dee-problem. That should have been enough. She really broke the law, and he would probably sue her, no matter who she was. At least he would have been pissed out of his mind. Maybe you saw how he reacted just to justin knowing he had cancer. And now this lady tells him she has stolen his semen from the trash (which isn't really his, anyway, but she thought it was, and that's the point) , faking his signature and made herself pregnant. He would at least have reacted more.
And this Dee. Who does she think she is, anyway? I'm not gonna use much time on her, since I'm tired and sleepy and want to go to bed. But the main thing I have on her is how you made her. Like she's the new Lindsay? I mean, we know Lindsay and Brian were childhood friends, and that he "did it" with her once (and even when they talked about that he was feeling uneasy). You also say that it's been ten years, and Brian is probably around his thirties. That means that he was around twenty when he and Dee had sex. We also know that he found out very early he was gay. That gives at least me a feeling that by his twenties, he would know a lot about his sexual orientation. I have a feeling that even though he was drunk and stuff, he wouldn't have done it with her. He's gay! He doesn't do girls! And even though he did it with Lindsay (I don't remember if they mentioned when it was or not) you have kind of let Dee take over for her. I realise you needed a reason to bring Dee into the story, but maybe you should have come up with something else, not just the "I-was-drunk-and-it-was-a-mistake"-reason.
Pweh. Used more time that i intended. All in all it's an okay story-line/plot (as far as I read, at least), and you're a good writer. Just try to keep the characters in character, and make it all more realistic.
Let's start with Justin. We all know how he has changed from season to season, and unless this is before season 1 (most unlikey, considering Brian and Justin are together), he would never give up that easily and let Dee order him around. He would have talked to Brian at once. And you've made him so sappy and childish. Through season 1-4 we have witnessed him cry two or three times. He's stronger than that. Maybe not at the very beginning, but like I said, they change, and so has he. It's not like I don't want him to show emotion at all, but try not to change him to much.
And Brian. Brian from the series is a cold, hard-to-read, trick-loving bastard. Your Brian is just... too sweet. Okay, so a woman he hasn't seen in ten years show up telling him he has a daughter. "Okay, hello honey, welcome to my life." No. Well, after having the blood-test runned (and I would think it was Brian who would have wanted that) it was okay for them to just move in.
And he's too loving with Justin. Don't get me wrong, I love a little flirting and teasing between them, but it's just too much. And what's with the "I love you"'s? I haven't heard Brian saying that once, and everyone who keeps track of the series knows that he (so far anyway) doesn't have to say it in words. We know he loves Justin, yes, but he doesn't say it. One other thing that really made me shake my head was:
Feeling him cum inside of me, I notice we didn’t use a condom.
“Brian?” I look at him.
He just looks back at me, smiling. “It’s ok. I want to be as close to you as I can.”
No way. That would never, EVER, happen after the little speech he gave Justin in 207, no matter how close he wanted to be. He knows the danger of AIDS/HIV. “I want you safe, I want you around for a long time.” So don't write that, no matter how sexy it may appear.
When he found out how Dee tried to blackmail Justin, your Brian didn't act at all. I don't really know what the real Brian would have done in that situation, but I know he would have done something. The same with the next Dee-problem. That should have been enough. She really broke the law, and he would probably sue her, no matter who she was. At least he would have been pissed out of his mind. Maybe you saw how he reacted just to justin knowing he had cancer. And now this lady tells him she has stolen his semen from the trash (which isn't really his, anyway, but she thought it was, and that's the point) , faking his signature and made herself pregnant. He would at least have reacted more.
And this Dee. Who does she think she is, anyway? I'm not gonna use much time on her, since I'm tired and sleepy and want to go to bed. But the main thing I have on her is how you made her. Like she's the new Lindsay? I mean, we know Lindsay and Brian were childhood friends, and that he "did it" with her once (and even when they talked about that he was feeling uneasy). You also say that it's been ten years, and Brian is probably around his thirties. That means that he was around twenty when he and Dee had sex. We also know that he found out very early he was gay. That gives at least me a feeling that by his twenties, he would know a lot about his sexual orientation. I have a feeling that even though he was drunk and stuff, he wouldn't have done it with her. He's gay! He doesn't do girls! And even though he did it with Lindsay (I don't remember if they mentioned when it was or not) you have kind of let Dee take over for her. I realise you needed a reason to bring Dee into the story, but maybe you should have come up with something else, not just the "I-was-drunk-and-it-was-a-mistake"-reason.
Pweh. Used more time that i intended. All in all it's an okay story-line/plot (as far as I read, at least), and you're a good writer. Just try to keep the characters in character, and make it all more realistic.
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May 21, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Ooooh, I hate Dee! The little Mikey/Justin seen was pretty hot though. I hope they find out what she's doing soon...she's such a scheming bitch! This is just a perfect story to get me into the Season 5 mood. Thanks so much!!
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May 16, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This is a really good story. The plot is very different from any other I've read and I can't wait to see what happens with Dee. Please write more...I want to see how it ends. Thanks.