Across the lines

Chapter three

I want to be big and let go
Of this grudge that's grown old
All this time I've not known
How to rest this bygone
I wanna be soft and resolved
Clean of slate and released
I wanna forgive for the both of us

“Alanis Morissette – This Grudge”


Alex opened his eyes, groaning when he felt a constant hammering in his head. He sat up, rubbing a hand over the back of his head, realizing that he had been rather drunk the night before. He pushed himself out of his bed, trying to put the pieces of last night together in his mind. The clearest thing he could remember was yelling at George, letting him know exactly what he didn’t want other’s to know, the things that made him vulnerable.

He stopped when entering the living room, noticing a familiar brunette lying sprawled over the old leather couch. A blanket was covering the brunette, his right leg hanging over the side of the couch, bare. Alex took his time to watch the other, taking in the sight of the other and smiling slightly even though he felt his head continuing to hammer. Even in his sleep George looked like a small child. His hair messed and hanging into his face, his lips slightly parted while he breathed. “George?” Alex finally asked, deciding it was better to wake the other up and not think about him instead. When the other didn’t wake he walked over to him, kneeling down beside him and softly rubbing the other’s back. “George?” He tried again, leaning close to the other to see if he was waking up.

George opened his eyes when he heard someone calling his voice, his eyes fluttered open and closed a couple of times before fully opening them and staring into the deep dark eyes of Alex Karev. He remained in his place, almost as if he was paralyzed. “Alex?” He whispered, keeping his light blue eyes on the other.

The taller one smiled a little sheepishly. “What are you doing here?” He asked, wondering why George had stayed the night. Flashbacks of hanging over the toilet and George soothingly rubbing his back rushed back to him, making him feel awkward and stupid. He shouldn’t have gotten so drunk.

George smiled a little. “I couldn’t leave you alone,” He started, moving a little so he could easily lie on his side, watching Alex. “what if you had to throw up again, or something worse...” The brunette decided.

Alex frowned, nodding. He was tempted to remain quiet but parted his lips to speak. “Thanks.” He muttered, getting up.

George watched Alex walk away, remaining quiet. He smiled sheepishly, sitting up. “Your welcome.” He breathed softly, not wanting the other to hear him. When Alex walking into a different room he pushed himself up, looking around for where he had left his jeans. George wrinkled his nose in disgust, realizing that he would have to wear the same shirt as last night to work because there was no way he would be able to go home before going to Seattle Grace. “Can you give me a ride?” George asked, his voice harder then normal to make sure Alex heard him in the small kitchen of the other man’s house.

“Sure.”

George pulled on his pants when he heard Alex tell him he would make some quick toast for the both of them. He awkwardly made his way to the kitchen, pulling his phone from his back pocket from his jeans and looking at the small screen to see if someone had called him. When he opened the inbox to see his messages he smiled to see that Izzie had left him four messages and Meredith two. “They missed me...” George muttered, sitting down at the small table.

Alex watched the brunette for a while, waiting for the toast to get ready. He crossed his arms, leaning against the counter. The other seemed to be oblivious, looking at his phone while silently reading the messages.

Events of last night seemed to spring back into Alex’s mind, rather unwanted. He realized that he had told George things, and had called him names that he shouldn’t have. A shiver ran down his spine when he remembered hanging over the toilet, George’s small hand rubbing against his back, long strokes soothing him while he threw up. George’s hushed voice, saying soothing words which made no sense to him at that moment making him feel comfortable. “What happened to that girl yesterday?” Alex asked, frowning, wanting to break the silence between the two of them.

George looked up at Alex from reading Meredith’s message, trying to find out where he was, and smiled. “I wouldn’t know...” He said, slightly amused. The brunette rubbed a hand through his hair, watching George with laughing clear blue eyes. “Did you want to go home with her then?”

Alex shook his head. “Nah...” He muttered, turning around to continue with their toast.

George watched Alex’ back in silence. His fingers seemed to tingle when he remembered rubbing the other’s back soothingly, trying to calm the other while throwing up. Alex had even spend some of his time crying bitterly. The other had told him about his family, his father who had left and his mother who had been abused. And even though George was curious to know if Alex remembered telling him those things he would not ask, not wanting the other to feel uncomfortable and awkward.

III

Alex didn’t understand why but he found it difficult to keep paying attention while Mark was talking. His mind kept wandering to George and the night before. He had all ready been at Seattle Grace for five hours and he still hadn’t seen O’malley anywhere. He looked up, pulled out of his thoughts when Mark angrily called his name.

“Are your female hormones playing up? Or are you just trying to get me angry?” Mark hissed, glaring at the tanned young man.

The other shrugged, looking away. “Sorry...” He muttered quickly, trying keep his attention at the present even though it wanted to drift off to what had happened in the past. He looked at the young woman lying in the hospital bed, the cries of her child fading in the back of his mind, being held by the father. But before he knew it and realized it, all sounds had faded to the background and his mind was completely fixated on George again.

George, on the other hand, did not find the time to think about what had happened that night or Alex. The only one on his mind was Callie. He didn’t understand why but the need to make up with her kept resurfacing and didn’t leave him alone. And so he decided to see her that night, the day his shift would end and when he was sure that she was also there. It bothered him that Callie had so easily broken up with him while he didn’t even understand why or how it had happened in the first place. And instead of keeping out of her way George decided it would be better to face her and try to make things better.

“George!”

The brunette turned around, an unconscious smile coming to his lips when he saw Alex walking towards him. Apologizing to a young nurse who he passed in a quick pair of steps. “Yes, Alex?” George replied, licking his lips nervously. He still hadn’t said anything about the things Alex had told him the day before but he was also still worried that Alex would remember that he had said those things.

“Are you going to the Morbidity and Mortality?” He asked, watching George with a wondering look. He placed his hands in the pockets of his pants, wondering why he was even asking George if he was going. He immediately knew that George had found it just as strange as he had found it himself when George’s eyes became larger and held a confused looks. The other’s face seemed to be emotionless, not showing any sort of feeling that Alex’ question had made him feel.

“Of course.” George whispered and started walking, listening to the steps which soon followed his own. “You are too, aren’t you?” He asked then, trying to make some kind of conversation with the other even though it felt strange.

Alex nodded. “Of course.” He decided, grinning. “Wouldn’t want to miss it.” Alex decided, following the somewhat smaller man through the halls of the hospital. Both were quiet for a while, but neither found the silence bothersome.

“I think I’m going to apologize to Callie tonight...” George blurted out, not sure what else to say. He had had enough woman-advise from Izzie, Meredith and even Christina. But he never got any male-advise when he had something that he didn’t know the answer for himself. George glanced sideways at Alex, nervous that the other would laugh at him or do anything that would make him feel embarrassed.

“Why?” Alex asked, confused. The last thing he remembered were George and Callie being together and living in Meredith’s home together. He hadn’t known that there was something wrong between the two of them.

George shrugged. “Well I do think I..., that I like her a lot and I didn’t want to break up with her.” George said and then frowned. “Well she broke up with me..., but...” He sighed, licking his lips. “You know.” The brunette could feel his breath hitch in his throat, not wanting to miss the advise that Alex was going to give him.

“I wouldn’t do it.” Alex muttered. When George stopped walking he started to explain, crossing his arms in front of himself while watching George who was shifting around nervously. “If she broke up with you then I don’t think she will need a apology of you, she probably wants to have time for herself and sort things out, you going there won’t help anything...” Alex decided, knowing what he was talking about.

George pouted, his lower lip sticking out childishly as he looked at Alex. “You sure?” He asked in a quiet voice, his mood quickly becoming darker when Alex nodded and told him that it would help nothing if he went over to Callie.

Alex started walking again, not understanding why he felt a calmness fall over him that hadn’t been there before. He glanced sideways to George who had started to walk with him, walking slowly beside him deep in thought. He didn’t understand at all why he had cared that George was going to speak with Callie and why he had wanted to tell George that he really shouldn’t do it instead of going to her like he would’ve probably done himself.

III

George sighed, closing his eyes, sitting back against the wall. Once again he found himself sitting on one of the unoccupied hospital beds, in need of some time for himself. The M&M had been horrible and had become worse when they had seen Izzie standing in the back, listening to the conversation which had been about Denny. The only thing that had taken his mind of of things every now and then had been Alex who had been sitting beside him, joking about things every once in a while.

His sky blue eyes opened when he heard the door open and reveal the man who he had just been thinking about. “Hey...” He muttered, closing his eyes again. They opened again when he didn’t heard Alex move, opening them again to look at the other with a confused look. “What’s wrong?” George asked then.

Alex said nothing, keeping his eyes on George for a while. Then he slowly started to walk over towards the other, sitting down beside him. “I had a fight with my dad, I punched him and afterwards he left.” The taller one said, keeping his eyes straight on the wall before them. He could feel George’s eyes on him and they made him stomach turn.

A crimson blush rose to George’s cheeks, realizing that Alex did remember what he had told him the night before. “You don’t have too...” George trailed of, his words leaving him, knowing he did want to know what had happened. Not only was he curious but he also knew it would be able to help Alex if he spoke about it with someone.

“I haven’t seen him ever since..., and even though I want too, I’m glad I haven’t.” Alex continued, not commenting on George’s words. Dismissing them as if he had not even heard them. “My mother was so sad.” The brunette continued. “She wanted him back, even though he hurt her.” He said, feeling his heart miss a beat, remembering his crying mother, begging for his dad to somehow come back. “I was angry at her for wanting him back, I was so angry at her.”

“And now..., even if he hurt us...” Alex started, glancing at the other. “I want to forgive him so much..., because he’s my dad even when he hurt us...” The brunette decided for the first time in his life. “He’s an fucking asshole, but he’s my dad.”

George watched the other, biting on the skin of his lower lip. He felt the urge to hold the other, comfort the other like he would do with Izzie. But even though he was tempted he didn’t, not wanting to do anything that would make Alex feel awkward. But when he saw held back tears in the other’s eyes he leaned forward, not caring about the consequences, and pulled the taller man in an embrace.