House the Pimp
folder
G through L › House
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
5
Views:
4,302
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
G through L › House
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
5
Views:
4,302
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own House, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
YEEHAW!
3.
“Thanks baby, and get well soon.” The hoe kissed a Mr Norrington on the cheek before seeing him out the front doors of the Hospital. She patted him on the bum, and took out his wallet as he left. House was just entering the Hospital at this time and noticed the exchange.
“Wait!” House grabbed the wallet and limped quickly over to Mr Norrington. “You dropped this.” he said and handed it over.
“Oh, thankyou,” he smiled at House. “I’ll be sure to come back.”
House returned to the young lady. “What the hell do you think you’re doing!? He’s obviously going to know what happened. I should spank you silly…” But as he spoke he pulled out a couple of hundred dollar bills, which he’d stolen, out of his sleave and gave half to the hooker. “…but you’ll learn.”
“How did you do that!?” she asked, astonished.
House tucked the cash away, “I’m quick with my hands,” he explained.
“Me too,” she said seductively and ran her hands across House’s shoulders as she left. He chuckled and went into to his office.
It had been a week since House introduced the Medical Check-Up plan into the Hospital, and so far it had worked extremely well. There was nearly double the amount of business, and a few new regulars that just found out about the place. House relaxed on his couch, thinking how great life was and how rich he was getting. It was rare that he got a moment alone at work since the rise in business.
He was sipping his scotch and was about to slip into a nap, when he heard a familiar clop-clop of stilettos coming along the hallway. House jumped up and hid behind his desk just in time. Cuddy stuck her head around the corner, made a ‘humph’ noise, and carried on walking.
House sighed and leant on his cane to get up. He made a swift exit out into the waiting room. He went up to one of the people waiting to be ‘served’. “Hello.” “Howdy partner, name’s Ennis Del Mar.”
The man seemed to be dressed as a cowboy, which was odd. “And what are you after tonight, Ennis?”
Ennis removed his cowboy hat. “I ain’t queer or nothin’, let me just point that out first,” House nodded, “But I’m after a guy to ride me like a rodeo bull, YEEHAW!” House’s eyes widened at this outburst. “Sorry about that, I get a little excited sometimes, this is my first time in the big city.”
“That’s alright,” House recovered. “So you’re saying you’re NOT gay, but you want to have sex with a man?”
Ennis looked around nervously and then said loudly, “NO, ACTUALLY I JUST NEED A CHECK UP. I BROKE A NAIL, SEE.” House was confused but then Ennis grabbed him and whispered “also I’d like to have sex with a man. But I ain’t queer or nuthin’, got it?” he released House’s arm when he nodded.
House got out his pager. “I’ve got someone you’d love to meet. His name is Jake, but he prefers Jack when he’s dressed like… well, you’ll see. He’s one fine motherfucker; I’m just paging him now.”
Ennis shot his hands out and grabbed the furry collar of House’s pimp jacket. “I said I’m no queer, punk, don’t you understand that?” House was mortified – nobody touches the pimp jacket. He had a good mind to beat this man off with his cane, but then he looked into Ennis’ eyes and understood what he was getting at.
“Okay, Mr Del Mar, the LADY Nurse is in exam room 12 and will take care of your injury.” House winked at Ennis, who smiled at House and stood up. “Thankyou, Doctor! You’re a good man.” And he kissed House on the cheek before rushing off. House stood, quite confused, but was shaken out of it when he heard a loud ‘YEEHAW!’ from the general direction of exam room 12.
Cuddy had been watching the whole ordeal and slinked up to House. “Ah, shit, I’m working! I’m working!” said House when she came up to him. Cuddy stopped him from walking away. “I saw what you did just then. It reminded me why I hired you here. You’re an excellent pimp. I’m not angry with you anymore.” And before House could say anything she kissed him long and passionately.
When they finally pulled apart, she said “Good work,” and went into her office, leaving House speechless. ‘That was weird,’ he thought, ‘must have had some of that medical marijuana we got.’ There was a crash from a few metres away – it was Wilson who was staring at House and looked somewhat aroused. House looked him up and down, one eyebrow raised. “WILSON!” he yelled, which startled Wilson out of his trance, “You dropped something.” “Oh…” he bent to get it and House smirked. “Where are you going?” he asked as Wilson hurried off. “I’ve gotta call my wife.” he replied.
House sighed and put on his pimp-shades, ‘that is one crazy mofo,’ he thought. He went out on the street and strutted along for awhile until he saw some bald guy leaning against a wall smoking a cigar. “Wassup? You want some company tonight?” The man in his fancy suit put out his smoke and said, “Actually, I’m not gay.” House was about to say how he’d heard that before tonight, but this guy looked somewhat evil and probably couldn’t take a joke. “Not ME. I’m talking about hoes, man. I work at a place down the street, a ‘Hospital’. We got plenty of ass for everyone – fine bitches. And you can get a free check up while you’re there.”
“Well I am kind of lonely, being out of town. The name’s Lex.” They shook hands “Doctor House.” “I admire your dealings, Dr House. I myself am a businessman. Show me to your fine establishment.” So they walked and chatted about business ideas, both being ‘working’ men.
Once House had set Lex up with some young brunette hoe named Lana, he decided it was probably late enough for him to go home. He grabbed his pimp-jacket and was about to go out when he heard a scream from behind him. Thinking it was someone hurting one of his bitches, he ran over to the commotion with his pimp cane at ready. But this was not the case. Chase was bent over a man. “He just collapsed!”
“Out of my way,” House pushed passed and knelt painfully over the man, “Stay with me, man.” The man looked up at House groggily and made a gurgling noise before lying still on the floor. House grabbed his body and shook it violently, “Wake up, bitch! Wake up!” He slapped the man on the face numerous times, but to no avail.
“House,” said Chase who had his hand on the man’s wrist, “he’s dead.” Cameron whimpered in Foreman’s arms just behind them. House shook his head, ‘No.’ but as he stared into the man’s frozen stare, he saw it was true, and the shock crawled over him like spiders.
tbc.
(sorry that got a bit serious, it won't happen again.)
“Thanks baby, and get well soon.” The hoe kissed a Mr Norrington on the cheek before seeing him out the front doors of the Hospital. She patted him on the bum, and took out his wallet as he left. House was just entering the Hospital at this time and noticed the exchange.
“Wait!” House grabbed the wallet and limped quickly over to Mr Norrington. “You dropped this.” he said and handed it over.
“Oh, thankyou,” he smiled at House. “I’ll be sure to come back.”
House returned to the young lady. “What the hell do you think you’re doing!? He’s obviously going to know what happened. I should spank you silly…” But as he spoke he pulled out a couple of hundred dollar bills, which he’d stolen, out of his sleave and gave half to the hooker. “…but you’ll learn.”
“How did you do that!?” she asked, astonished.
House tucked the cash away, “I’m quick with my hands,” he explained.
“Me too,” she said seductively and ran her hands across House’s shoulders as she left. He chuckled and went into to his office.
It had been a week since House introduced the Medical Check-Up plan into the Hospital, and so far it had worked extremely well. There was nearly double the amount of business, and a few new regulars that just found out about the place. House relaxed on his couch, thinking how great life was and how rich he was getting. It was rare that he got a moment alone at work since the rise in business.
He was sipping his scotch and was about to slip into a nap, when he heard a familiar clop-clop of stilettos coming along the hallway. House jumped up and hid behind his desk just in time. Cuddy stuck her head around the corner, made a ‘humph’ noise, and carried on walking.
House sighed and leant on his cane to get up. He made a swift exit out into the waiting room. He went up to one of the people waiting to be ‘served’. “Hello.” “Howdy partner, name’s Ennis Del Mar.”
The man seemed to be dressed as a cowboy, which was odd. “And what are you after tonight, Ennis?”
Ennis removed his cowboy hat. “I ain’t queer or nothin’, let me just point that out first,” House nodded, “But I’m after a guy to ride me like a rodeo bull, YEEHAW!” House’s eyes widened at this outburst. “Sorry about that, I get a little excited sometimes, this is my first time in the big city.”
“That’s alright,” House recovered. “So you’re saying you’re NOT gay, but you want to have sex with a man?”
Ennis looked around nervously and then said loudly, “NO, ACTUALLY I JUST NEED A CHECK UP. I BROKE A NAIL, SEE.” House was confused but then Ennis grabbed him and whispered “also I’d like to have sex with a man. But I ain’t queer or nuthin’, got it?” he released House’s arm when he nodded.
House got out his pager. “I’ve got someone you’d love to meet. His name is Jake, but he prefers Jack when he’s dressed like… well, you’ll see. He’s one fine motherfucker; I’m just paging him now.”
Ennis shot his hands out and grabbed the furry collar of House’s pimp jacket. “I said I’m no queer, punk, don’t you understand that?” House was mortified – nobody touches the pimp jacket. He had a good mind to beat this man off with his cane, but then he looked into Ennis’ eyes and understood what he was getting at.
“Okay, Mr Del Mar, the LADY Nurse is in exam room 12 and will take care of your injury.” House winked at Ennis, who smiled at House and stood up. “Thankyou, Doctor! You’re a good man.” And he kissed House on the cheek before rushing off. House stood, quite confused, but was shaken out of it when he heard a loud ‘YEEHAW!’ from the general direction of exam room 12.
Cuddy had been watching the whole ordeal and slinked up to House. “Ah, shit, I’m working! I’m working!” said House when she came up to him. Cuddy stopped him from walking away. “I saw what you did just then. It reminded me why I hired you here. You’re an excellent pimp. I’m not angry with you anymore.” And before House could say anything she kissed him long and passionately.
When they finally pulled apart, she said “Good work,” and went into her office, leaving House speechless. ‘That was weird,’ he thought, ‘must have had some of that medical marijuana we got.’ There was a crash from a few metres away – it was Wilson who was staring at House and looked somewhat aroused. House looked him up and down, one eyebrow raised. “WILSON!” he yelled, which startled Wilson out of his trance, “You dropped something.” “Oh…” he bent to get it and House smirked. “Where are you going?” he asked as Wilson hurried off. “I’ve gotta call my wife.” he replied.
House sighed and put on his pimp-shades, ‘that is one crazy mofo,’ he thought. He went out on the street and strutted along for awhile until he saw some bald guy leaning against a wall smoking a cigar. “Wassup? You want some company tonight?” The man in his fancy suit put out his smoke and said, “Actually, I’m not gay.” House was about to say how he’d heard that before tonight, but this guy looked somewhat evil and probably couldn’t take a joke. “Not ME. I’m talking about hoes, man. I work at a place down the street, a ‘Hospital’. We got plenty of ass for everyone – fine bitches. And you can get a free check up while you’re there.”
“Well I am kind of lonely, being out of town. The name’s Lex.” They shook hands “Doctor House.” “I admire your dealings, Dr House. I myself am a businessman. Show me to your fine establishment.” So they walked and chatted about business ideas, both being ‘working’ men.
Once House had set Lex up with some young brunette hoe named Lana, he decided it was probably late enough for him to go home. He grabbed his pimp-jacket and was about to go out when he heard a scream from behind him. Thinking it was someone hurting one of his bitches, he ran over to the commotion with his pimp cane at ready. But this was not the case. Chase was bent over a man. “He just collapsed!”
“Out of my way,” House pushed passed and knelt painfully over the man, “Stay with me, man.” The man looked up at House groggily and made a gurgling noise before lying still on the floor. House grabbed his body and shook it violently, “Wake up, bitch! Wake up!” He slapped the man on the face numerous times, but to no avail.
“House,” said Chase who had his hand on the man’s wrist, “he’s dead.” Cameron whimpered in Foreman’s arms just behind them. House shook his head, ‘No.’ but as he stared into the man’s frozen stare, he saw it was true, and the shock crawled over him like spiders.
tbc.
(sorry that got a bit serious, it won't happen again.)