Seeds of Jealousy

Justin



“Carl, I don’t understand. She took them,” I yell in frustration.



“Justin, I can’t get the Pittsburgh PD involved in this yet. She is their mother and as of right now, all I have is this paper stating you have even filed for custody. Nothing’s been ruled on. There is nothing I can do officially. But since this is family, I will call in a favor or two and have the precincts keep an eye out for her. As for filing a missing children report, this note makes it clear they aren’t actually missing. They’re with her, their legal guardian at the moment. There’s no kidnapping because she’s their custodial parent,” Carl explains.



“This is fucking bullshit. Carl, she took MY kids. How can you say there isn’t anything I can file? She could be anywhere with them. You saw how she was when she got here, she’s not even stable.”



“Justin, I know this isn’t easy for you, but I promise I will have the department keep an eye out. I can’t file an official report, though, I’m sorry.” He looks at Deb who moves towards me.



“Sunshine, Carl is doing all he can where the law is concerned,” she says, trying to calm me down.



“Mel, isn’t there anything you can do?” I plead, looking at her. “You’re my lawyer.”



“I’m sorry, Justin, my hands are tied.” She puts her hand on my arm.



‘It didn’t have to come to this,” Lindsay said, her voice tinged with anger.



“What was I supposed to do, Linds?” I ask. “Just let her take my kids away from me?”



“She wouldn’t have done that,” she says, raising her chin defiantly.



I laugh bitterly. “Oh yeah, right, I forgot what a fucking saint she is. She came to town with the sole purpose of getting her hands on Brian and when she found out he was involved with me, she used blackmail to try to get me out of the picture.”



Lindsay looks slightly chagrined as I remind her of that.



“And when that didn’t work,” I go on, unable to stop myself. “She practically broke into our home, stole a condom and forged documents to get pregnant, still thinking she could get Brian if she was carrying his baby. She didn’t want me anywhere near her during the pregnancy, I had to fight for every second of it that I was able to share.”



“Justin,” Brian says, laying a hand on my shoulder.



I turn to him, my eyes filling with tears. “I’m not the bad guy here, Brian.”



“I know,” he says, kissing my head gently.



Lindsay clears her throat nervously. “You’re right, Justin, I’m sorry. You don’t realize this, but I’ve been talking with her, telling her more about you. She was changing, I’m sure of it. She was beginning to see that it could work out for everyone. If only you could have waited, she wouldn’t have had a reason to run. But before she gets a chance to tell you what she’s decided, you go and do this. How is she supposed to feel? She freaked when she saw those papers, any mother would have. I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same thing if Brian did this to me,” she concludes, her voice taking on an accusing tone.



“Linds?” Mel looks at her.



“I know you couldn’t say anything being Justin’s lawyer,” she sighs, giving Mel a hug.



I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Dee was changing? She felt differently? Since when? “I don’t give a shit about any of this,” I mutter, shaking my head. “I was going for joint custody, you heard me.”



“Yes, but I don’t think she did. The only thing she saw were those papers saying you wanted to take them away from her.”



As much as I don’t want to admit it, I can see her point.



“Brian?” I look at him as he pulls me into his arms, tears running down my cheeks.



Brian



“It’s going to work out. We will find them. I’ll hire someone if I have to.” I kiss his head.



“I can’t deal with this. I need my kids,” he cries into my chest.



“I know you do, we both do. Justin, have I ever lied to you?” He shakes his head. “Then believe me when I say we WILL find them.” I feel him nod his head against my chest.



“Brian, Michael, you guys knew her before. Can you think of anyplace she might go? Someplace she might feel safe?” Carl asks looking at us both.



“I don’t know. We used to hang out in different places when we were little,” Mikey says, looking at me.



“Okay, make a list of where you used to hang out. Then we can all go to the different places. We will split up.” Carl takes out pen and paper, writing down the names of places as we come up with them.



We spend hours searching and calling around yet don’t come up with a single lead.



I look over to see Justin standing at the window.



“How’s he holding up?” Mikey asks.



“How do you think? He’s devastated. How could she do this? I mean not only did she not tell me I had a daughter, she gets me attached to her and gets pregnant again with Justin’s kids, just to turn around and take them all from us. She thinks I haven’t been a good friend but she didn’t even listen to what was said.”



I move away from Mikey toward Justin.



As I slip my arms around him from behind, he leans back into my embrace.



“Brian, I know she’s a good mom, but I need a chance to be a good dad, too.”



“I know, Sunshine, and we will find them, I promise.”



He turns in my arms and I hold him close, providing what comfort I can even though I know it’s not enough to replace what he’s lost.



Not nearly enough.