Ursa Major, Ursa Minor

Chapter Twenty-One:
Dinner was a surprising affair. After Jayne and River dragged themselves out of River’s quarters looking about as ruffled as they both felt (wrinkled clothing and hickeys a-plenty to attest to what they’d been up to since Mal had kicked them off the bridge), they returned to the hold and picked up a few of Jenny and Amber’s gifts. Seven beers and seven apples.

Zoë had made beef stew with the groceries Kaylee and Katie bought. She smiled up at the pair in greeting and raised an eyebrow at the beer. “That more of the stuff yer ma had in the ice box, Jayne?”

He nodded while he fished around the utensil drawer for a bottle cap remover and popped one open for her. “Sure is.”

Zoë accepted the beer with a short thank you and glanced slyly at Serenity’s deadliest pair as they set the table with their apples and beer. She took a slow drink of the warm beer (something you really got used to out in the black) and cleared her throat in that authoritative “first mate” manner of hers.

“Yer shirt’s inside-out, Jayne.”

An apple rolled across the floor as it fell from the merc’s nerveless fingers.

Mal stopped it from bruising any more than it already had and brushed it against his suspenders. He went to carve into the fruit with his pocket knife when he caught sight of

Jayne and River—both looking guilty and bright red.

“Jayne, yer shirt on wrong-side out?” he asked.

Zoë actually laughed.

*

Mal hadn’t been surprised by the hanky panky between his mercenary and his pilot—not after what happened planet-side. It was a complication to be sure, but he didn’t think he’d seen either of them so at ease—especially with a fight coming up.

At least they’d been quiet. Not like Kaylee and Simon—something he would rather not hear since he felt like a big brother to that mechanic of his.

He ate another slice of apple and impatiently checked the nav sat to see how far out they were from Persephone. Three days. Three days until they made land-fall and Mal set Jayne loose on Badger with that new knife of his.

Mal grinned. His sister sure knows how to pick out weaponry, he mused. That KA-BAR was the perfect knife to scare years off even the toughest man.

*

Once again, the summer haze of the Eavesdown Docks flooded the cargo bay as Mal lowered the ramp. Behind his captain, Jayne deliberately made his steps heavy to announce his presence.

“You ready, Jayne?”

“Yeah, Mal.”

Mal turned to see his hired gun wearing his new KA-BAR, Boo, and a sleeveless shirt he’d never seen before. He squinted at the Chinese characters while Jayne slid his sunglasses on and tucked Cassie into the back of his pants.

The captain busted out with laughter when his brain finished translating. “’Big all over?!’ Yer mei mei bought you that shirt?”

Jayne shrugged. “Yeah, so? Hey, Zoë gonna come with us?”

The first mate joined them having just returned from Inara’s shuttle. Her mass of curly hair was tamed into an ornate pull of braids that hung down to the middle of her shoulders. She too wore a sleeveless shirt and sunglasses and grinned at the slogan on Jayne’s shirt.

“River told me about that,” she said. Jayne wasn’t quite sure if the warrior woman was talking about his shirt or his anatomy, but he cleared his throat in embarrassment regardless. Zoë checked her rounds and replaced her mare’s leg it its holster. “Inara’s gonna lock up once we get past the docks. Just in case.”

Mal gave a short nod. “Let’s get to it, then.”

They started walking.

“Jayne? This is gonna sound a bit feng le comin’ from me, but I want you to be the one askin’ all the questions when we catch up with Badger. Man don’t take you seriously.”

Jayne shifted as they walked. “I know that.”

“Man should take you seriously, Jayne. He needs to know he can’t screw with us no more. I mean, we’ll still do work for ‘im, sure, but he’s gotta know that he does this go se one more time and yer comin’ back here to rip somethin’ offa him.”

Zoë caught sight of the wicked grin on Jayne’s face and secretly hoped she could expend some of her own anger on Badger as well.

“You got it, Mal.”

“Glad to hear it.”

*

Badger’s loud snoring was interrupted by the sound of two of his newest hires getting knocked the hell out. He honestly thought they would last longer…

The drool gathered in the back of his throat nearly choked him to death when Jayne Cobb bodily forced his way into Badger’s office. Knocked the gorram door off its hinges and everything.

Badger swiped a hand across his mouth. “Listen—”

Jayne grabbed him by the neck and dragged him all the way across his desk. He held the smaller man two feet off the ground and just squeezed until he felt something on the verge of popping.

“I get the feelin’ you don’t take me seriously, Badger.”

All Badger could do was gurgle.

Jayne tossed him to the floor and pressed a heavy boot against the man’s right hand. “You got a loose tongue, pal.”

That was Mal and Zoë’s cue to saunter in.

“Hey there, Badger!” Mal greeted with a smile and a wave. “Jayne here’s pretty mad you sold us out to your gorram cousin.”

“C’n see that,” Badger snarked. Jayne crunched down on his hand with his heel—making sure to put all his weight behind it.

“That ain’t yer dominant hand, is it?” Zoë asked with her mare’s leg trained on the incapacitated crime king.

“Actually, it is…”

Jayne pulled out Marie and showed her to Badger. “See this? This here’s a KA-BAR. Marines used to use ‘em on Earth-That-Was during wartime. I’m planning on usin’ it to either cut off yer tongue,” he ran the blade dangerously close to Badger’s mouth, “or just have Zoë over there tie you up so’s I can lop off yer twig and berries.”

Badger panicked.

Mal leaned in real close and put on a semi-convincing concerned expression. “I think the man means business, Badger. Best start talkin’ before he starts carvin’ you up like Christmas dinner.”

“Donna?”

Jayne dropped to sit with his knee between Badger’s shoulder blades. “Where in the sphincter hell is she?”

Badger groaned. “Sh’s on Londinium.”

Jayne pushed Marie against a portion of Badger’s anatomy that made him incredibly nervous. “Specifics, you piece of dog shit.”

“New Manchester! Last place she had was in New Manchester!”

Jayne gave a disappointed groan and pushed down hard with his knee before standing.

Badger picked himself up with a wince.

Jayne helped himself to the cigars on Badger’s desk and set a steely glare to the little man’s pained face. “Take me seriously now?”

He nodded like a bobble head geisha.

Jayne left. Mal still smiled at Badger and Zoë lowered her weapon.

“We’re still open to take jobs for ya, by the by,” Mal said. “See ya.”

Badger collapsed back behind his desk when they breezed out and clutched his broken hand.

Seriously didn’t even begin how to describe how he viewed the mercenary.

TBC