Within Your Heart

Merlin tied his red neckerchief around his throat and picked up his satchel, throwing it over his shoulder. Opening the door to his room he slipped out and headed to the front of the house. There was the smell of warm food in the air. Merlin took a deep breath and smiled. His mother was already up and cooking. She was a little… eccentric when it came to cooking. She had been like that since his father... She had never been the same.

“Is that you, Merlin?” He sighed and yelled back, knowing that his mother had ears that could hear a pin drop from outside while she was still inside, there was no way he could have escaped without her knowing about it,

“Yes, I’m just going into Ealdor. I need to go to S.O.S again.” He waited for a response.

“Alright darling, be careful.” He rolled his eyes; Ealdor was a sleepy, quiet town, more of a village. Nothing exciting ever happened, so his mother’s warning was pointless. He knew she only worried about him, so replied anyway.

“I will. I’ll see you soon.” He walked out of the door, closing it behind him. He paused briefly then sighed, annoyed at himself. He opened the door again, grabbed the book that lay on the shelf beside the door then closed it once more. He took his time walking into Ealdor.

It was so boring. Nothing happened. Nothing changed. It had been exactly the same since he and his mother had first moved here. That had been so long ago, that Merlin could not remember anything beyond it. Only now, he resented the place. He felt he couldn’t be what he really wanted. He wanted to escape the confining boundaries of the town, wanted to run away and find adventure, but knew he couldn’t. There was no possibility of leaving his mother. He couldn’t ask her to leave either.

The reason for their moving in the first place was so that they could forget. His father had died when he was young and it had broken his mother’s heart. So they had moved here and they had forgotten. She was happy here. She had friends. It was just he felt so alone. Different. An outsider. He never had fitted in.

The townsfolk whispered. He had heard them. Behind his back. They were kind enough to his face and he was as kind back, but he knew what they called him. Odd. The odd boy. The one who didn’t belong.

As Merlin looked up, he could see the town coming alive for a new day.

“Good morning Mrs Dough,” he called to the baker’s wife as she walked out of her front door. She smiled brightly at him.

“Good morning, Merlin. I hope you are well today.”

“Yes thanks,” he replied with a grin.

“Doing anything exciting?” She switched hands that held the basket of rolls that she was just taking over to the shop. The same as she had yesterday and the day before that. If Merlin didn’t know any better he would have said they were the same rolls too, except he had seen them being baked fresh and seen people buying them. He had eaten them himself as well.

“Just the usual, going over to the ‘Shop of Spells’ and-” he filtered off as he realised she wasn’t listening.

“Lovely dear. Come on children, work to do,” she called to her son and daughter who were also carrying baskets. They both stuck out their tongues at him as they struggled past. Merlin rolled his eyes at them, having given up on returning the gesture a long time ago. He continued walking into the town square, ignoring the whispers behind his back. He had got used to it now. It was easy to switch off.

He saw a hay wagon trundle past and with a quick turn he pulled himself on it and let it carry him further across town. He listened to the people calling to each other and ignored those who pointed or looked at him in ‘that’ way.

“There’s got to be more than this,” he muttered to himself. “What did I do to deserve such-” He jumped off the wagon before he had a chance to finish as he had spotted his destination. Smiling brightly he walked into the ‘Shop of Spells’. “Hello Anhora,” he called.

An old man near the back of the store turned, and when he saw Merlin, smiled.

“Well, I wasn’t expecting you here again so soon.” Merlin shrugged his shoulders while looking around. The place had fascinated him since he had first found it. It was so full of mysterious objects and books that he always managed to find new things every time he ventured in.

“Oh you know me. Thirst for knowledge and all that.”

“Yes.” Anhora smiled mysteriously. Merlin wandered around the shop, looking at things and picking up a few items, inspecting them carefully. Some of the things he had no idea what they were, some he had quickly decided he would rather not know.

“I’m returning that book you leant me. Thanks, it was amazing.” He held out the book in Anhora’s rough direction while still studying a stone bowl used for scrying. Again Anhora smiled and nodded, while taking the book from Merlin.

“You’re welcome of course. I’m glad I could help.” Merlin’s hand fell against something. He turned to look and found a thick leather bound book, scrawled with gilded lettering. He picked it up eagerly and flicked through its pages.

“Would you mind if I borrowed this one again?” his voice slightly muffled from behind the book as he flicked through it. Anhora walked over to him and gently took it off of him. He flicked through it himself and looked up at Merlin before smiling. He held the book out to the young man.

“Take it. It’s yours.” Merlin looked at him as if he had just turned into a unicorn.

“I-I-I couldn’t, r-r-really, I-” Anhora’s smile widened and his eyes sparkled with mirth.

“Merlin. Take the book. It’s yours.” Merlin gulped, he took the book back with something akin to reverence,

“Thank you, sir.” He couldn’t help the slight nod. Again Anhora smiled.

“Now Merlin. What did we agree?” Merlin frowned for a moment before remembering what the old man had asked of him,

“Anhora.”

“That’s better. Now be off with you.” He waved his hand in a dismissive manner but the pleasant smile contradicted any disapproval suggested by the gesture. Merlin grinned, thanked him once more and left the shop, nose stuck in the book of spells. Anhora sighed deeply. “Good bye Merlin. You won’t need me anymore.” With a sad smile, he closed the door and as he did so the shop vanished. No one would ever have realised it had been there or that it had gone.

Merlin sat against the stone fountain in the centre of the town square. A rather beautiful artefact that didn’t quite seem to fit into its surroundings. A little bit like Merlin himself. He read a page of the book eagerly, trying to memorise the words written there.

A flock of sheep lazily wandered past, the shepherd waving to him. One of the few people to actually be genuinely nice to him. Merlin grinned back then looked at a sheep that was staring at him as if it was contemplating how tasty his neckerchief would be. It was quite unnerving. Merlin looked around him quickly, before whispering.

The shepherd was suddenly very confused. He scratched his head in wonder. He didn’t remember ever having a pink sheep in his flock before. He shrugged and carried on herding the animals through the square.

Merlin tried not to laugh. So the spell hadn’t quite turned out how he had wanted… well, not what he’d wanted at all. He’d hoped for something a little more dramatic. But at least ‘something’ had happened. He wondered if one day he would be able to change one thing into another. Perhaps he would never be that powerful. His mother had been right however. He did have a gift. Now he just needed to learn how to use it. That reminded him, his mother! He needed to get back home. Carefully he stood up and began wandering back the way he had come, eyes back on the book once more.

-x-

“Look, there he is, Mordred.”

“Yes, sir.”

“That’s the one.”

“The mad cook’s son, sir?”

“Yes, Mordred. There’s something about him. Something that draws me to him. He is the one I will have in my arms.”

“But he’s-”

“The most handsome male in the town, apart from me of course, which makes him the best and therefore mine.”

“Of course, sir. But-” The young boy tried to interrupt his master once more but Uther wouldn’t have it. Once he had set his sights on a goal he would rush headlong in and damn the consequences. Merlin was picked out as his next victim and there was no way Uther would back down. Mordred would have to stand quietly to the side as he always did, as Uther would seduce and ruin another target. Use and throw away like spoiled fruit. They really were outcasts then. Ruined by a man and discarded by the town. Man or woman, it didn’t matter to Uther, it was the hunt that thrilled him. Mordred didn’t really approve of his master’s behaviour, but he was only a servant and could say or do nothing about it.

“I knew from the moment I saw him that I wanted him. He’s the only one that can stand up to my good looks of course.” He glanced in a nearby window at his reflection, raising an eyebrow in approval. Merlin walked past them, completely oblivious that he was being discussed in such a manner, still concentrating on the book he held.

Nearby, two of the town’s beauties giggled and fluttered their eyelashes in Uther’s direction. Both went unnoticed. Helen and Sophia had been struggling for Uther’s attentions for a while and neither had succeeded. It didn’t stop them from trying though. They just couldn’t comprehend that Uther didn’t want them, because they wanted him. Where was the pleasure to be had in that? Uther wanted the fight, the struggle, to see them break in his grasp. And that was why he wanted Merlin. One of the few people left in the town that didn’t care for him in the slightest. He wasn’t afraid of him either and that was just as frustrating to the man. Indifference was something he would not put up with.

Uther went to move towards Merlin, when he realised the youth had moved past them. But the town was now a hive of activity and as quickly as Merlin was moving through the crowd, the slower Uther was becoming as he had to fight to get past people. He saw an alley and quickly darted down it. Speeding up he ran around the houses until he emerged just ahead of Merlin. The townsfolk continued on with their lives. Mordred finally caught up with his master.

“Good morning, Merlin.”

“Hm?” Merlin replied simply, too far gone with his reading to be paying any attention to what was going on around him. Uther frowned and snatched the book away; he had a quick flick through it. “Hey, can I have that back, please?” Merlin told him in annoyance. He frowned at the self obsessed man and his young servant.

“How do you read this stuff? It’s all gibberish. Magic is for old men with long white beards and pointy hats.” Merlin continued to frown.

“It doesn’t matter what you look like you know.”

“Perhaps you should pay attention to more important things. Things that go on around you. Things like… me.” Helen and Sophia had followed behind Uther, staying at a safe distance. They sighed to themselves, agreeing with Uther and hung on his every word. “The whole town talks about you with your… well you’re different, aren’t you?” Merlin looked sceptical,

“Well that was informative,” the two girls scoffed,

“He’s mad!” Helen murmured.

“What’s wrong with him? Is he blind?” Sophia turned to her, Helen agreed,

“Uther’s gorgeous, he must be blind.”

“Why don’t you and I head back over to my place? Perhaps you can show me some of your magic? Show me what you can really do.” Merlin definitely did not like the way he had said that or the slightly leery grin that went with it.

“Sorry to disappoint the self proclaimed king of the town.” Merlin couldn’t help the jibe, it was stupid and he knew it, but he just couldn’t help it. “I’m afraid I have to get home to help my mother.”

“The crazy lady! She needs all the help she can get!” Even Uther was surprised at Mordred’s sudden outburst.

“My mother’s not crazy” Merlin shot back, trying to think of a spell that would frazzle Mordred on the spot, but his mind came up blank.

“Sure, that’s why she’s about to burn down your house.” Mordred pointed to the little cottage on the hill. Merlin turned and saw black smoke billowing from the windows. His eyes grew wide with panic. He snatched the book back from Uther, shoved it into his satchel and darted towards his house as fast as he could manage without falling over. Uther stood with Mordred watching.

“I will have him,” Uther growled. Mordred remained silent.

-x-

Thank you to those that reviewed! If anyone's interested, this fic is actually finished. It's just a case of when i can post it up!