Down the Rabbit hole

2 Days Later

Cuddy sat in her office, idly looking at paper work that needed to be filled out. House had slept through the night, and awoke naturally the next morning…or so she had heard. She had made good on her promise to leave as soon as he fell asleep. She had needed a shower. He had been right, as always. Still, she knew deep down that wasn’t the only reason she had left his side.
She could still feel his breath on the side of her face, warm, inviting, the tender trace of his hands down the side of her neck. It was more than enough to make her forget the day’s paper work, and be drawn to that room in the ICU.
She didn’t understand what was going on. This was HOUSE! She couldn’t stand the guy. Sure he made her laugh, and occasionally would go out of his way to do something nice for her, but 9 times out of 10 he was the usual snotty ass to her. The know-it-all jerk that drove her up the wall… but then again, that was what he was doing now, wasn’t it?
She let out an exasperated sigh. Her reaction to his touch wasn’t the only thing keeping her mind in the ICU at that moment. Wilson had come back yesterday, and she had been witness to yet another stand off. The two merely stared at each other, not a word was spoken. It was like they were both stubborn children waiting for the other one to crack.
Sure Cuddy felt more than sympathy for Wilson’s situation. He had just lost one of the great loves of his life. Not only that, but he had been the one to take her off life support. Still, to blame House was just childish. Even she wasn’t about to stoop so low in her agitation with House.
He had done everything in his power to save the woman, also. Yes, he probably shouldn’t have gotten drunk that night, but Amber had no reason to follow him onto the bus. She could have given him his cane the next day. It was obvious to Cuddy that this was no one’s fault.
Still, Wilson’s reaction was surprising. If anything, he should actually be apologizing to House for making him do that stupid procedure. If it hadn’t been for Wilson, House would not have gone into the coma that nearly cost him his life, or turned him into a vegetable. Wilson had no right to put one life above another, even if it had been the woman he loved.
And yet… House had gone along with it. Cuddy rubbed her face in her hands. This was probably the most disturbing part. House knew what the consequences were, but he did it anyway, for Wilson. This either meant that House was feeling EXTREMELY guilty about what happened to Amber, or he just cared that much for Wilson… or both.
This confused her the most. She had never known House to feel guilt, or remorse, much less affection. It was this realization about House’s character that had caused her to stay by his side for the last week. It was this realization that made her want to forget years of frustration, and look beyond the surface to the man underneath. But would he show this side of himself again? And if he did, would it be to anyone besides Wilson?
Cuddy suddenly gasped as a thought dawned on her. What if House was actually…gay? What if the fact that he only ever seemed to show affection to Wilson proved he did, in fact, have deeper feelings for the man? Could his friendship with the Oncologist have been another one of his clever rouses designed to throw people off the trail?
She suddenly felt sick. Did she know this man at all? Did she know herself at all? She finally decided that she wasn’t about to sulk around this office any longer, and would find out for herself. She pulled out a small clip-board, meant to disguise her visit to the ICU as nothing more than a routine check on the staff, and made her way to the elevators.

As the doors opened, Cuddy was immediately met with the sight of Chase and Cameron. She couldn’t make out what they were saying, but it was obvious that they had just had a small fight. Chase was staring at the floor and Cameron began to walk away… toward House’s ICU, she noticed.
As she approached, Chase looked up to see her. A small smile of greeting played at his lips. He had his arms crossed and was leaning against the nurses station directly across from House’s ICU. The room had glass walls, intended for nurses to keep an eye on their intensive care patients… and rather convenient for spying. Chase and Cuddy both watched from the nurse’s station.
House was awake. Cuddy blew off her uncontrolled emotion of relief at his consciousness as she saw Cameron slowly approach his bed. It was obvious House was making one of his usual snide remarks to her. What he was saying couldn’t be heard, but Chase and Cuddy both became acutely aware of Cameron’s lack of interest in any stark comment House had to say.
She was watching him with the eyes of one who had just seen a dead parent. Her eyes were watering, and she finally lost control and threw herself onto House in a weeping hug.
Cuddy was not surprised to sense Chase tense at the motion; however, she was EXCEEDINGLY surprised and alarmed when she herself felt the dark twinge of jealousy stir in her gut. The only thing that she could seem to think about was walking into the unit and ripping Cameron off of House.
The only thing that stopped her was Houses expression. He rolled his eyes slightly, before gently patting her on her head. The movement gave Cuddy the chance to get the beast under control. She heaved a big sigh before she was finally able to turn her attention to Chase… who had yet to even get a lasso on his beast.
She gently put a hand on his arm.

"I know for a fact that House only thinks of her as a sister…"

She looked back in the ICU just in time to catch House sneaking a glimpse at Cameron’s over exposed rear before she continued with a snarl.

"A hot step-sister, maybe, but a sister none the less."

Chase’s expression had softened a little as he looked at her. They both knew that she was right. House had made it perfectly clear time and time again that he wanted nothing to do with Cameron… nothing except the occasional inappropriate gander, at least, but that was his way with all pretty women.

"Not exactly the way I would treat my step-sister."

Drawled Chase in his thick Australian accent. Cuddy smirked.

"Well be happy he doesn’t call her 'mommy' and then proceed to make lewd comments to her. I can’t even fathom the feeding frenzy psychiatrists would have on him."

Cuddy noticed a small smile playing on the sides of Chase’s mouth.

"What? What’s so funny?"

"Nothing… nothing at all."

His smile was full out now

"Don’t give me that. What is it?"

"Well…"

"Yes?"

"Well… it just seems that if House has made a little family for himself… and you’re the matriarch… well, I just find it interesting that he would put people he finds as equals, or lesser as his siblings, and people he admires as his superiors."

Chase turned to her and smiled. She tried her hardest to find an argument, but when she couldn’t, she simply tried to hide her blush as she said,

"Who knows what’s going on in that crazy head of his…"

"And of course, that would make Wilson the father."

Cuddy was suddenly snapped back into reality.

"Of course!"

Chase looked at her in confusion.

"Don’t you see? That is where all this mess is coming from. He’s having daddy issues. The fact that his 'father' is upset with him right now just makes him want to do whatever it takes to get his affection back!"
Chase looked at her a little doubtingly

"You think House is that desperate for Wilson’s affection?"

"It would make sense wouldn’t it? That would explain why he did what he did."

"That would also make him… well… a little gay… don’t you think?"

Cuddy looked at him expectantly. When she didn’t respond, Chase burst into laughter. The response threw her so far off that all she could do was watch as he wiped the tears away from his eyes. When he finally calmed down to talk he held his side as he spoke.

"You’re almost as bad as I was with Cameron, making every excuse in the world to not have feelings for her."

She didn’t even bother to hide it this time. Her face went tomato red with that last sentence. Had she been that obvious? And if Chase could see through her like a glass window, than House had seen through her about 20 years before that. Her stomach started to turn over again. She decided to use her last defense… denial, major denial.

"I… don’t know what you’re talking about. Just because you couldn’t come straight out with your feelings for Cameron doesn’t mean that you need to project the scenario onto every passer by you see."

Chase raised his hands in submission.

"You’re probably right. You know you better than anyone here, but let me just say, I am 100% sure that House is straight."

His sentence was ended to the sound of the ICU door sliding open. Cuddy watched as Cameron walked out. She immediately saw that Chase was in a better mood, and went to his open arms. They embraced before walking towards the elevator, arm-in-arm. Cuddy smiled to herself, they were good together.

"GET A ROOM YOU TWO!!!"

House’s shout could be heard all the way from the elevators, where Cameron turned a brilliant shade of Crimson, and Chase simply shook his head. Cuddy let out a sigh before turning her attention to the very, very, very sick patient.

"You going to come in here or what?"

Came the chiding remarks of the infirm. Cuddy put her hands, clip-board and all on her hips as she stared at him.

"I think I heard somewhere that wild animals are best viewed from a distance."

"Or in the bedroom, whichever."

House retorted with a sneer. She moved into the room and sat down next to him on the bed.

"Whatcha got on the clip-board, mommy? More super-duper exciting hospital business?"

Cuddy suddenly went still. In her haste to get out of the office to see House, she had forgotten to attach one of the reviews to the board. She was simply holding a board with nothing but a blank sheet of paper on it.
If House were to find out that she had no reason to be down here, then Chase would defiantly not be the only one to know about her stifled feeling. She pulled the clip-board to her chest before saying.

"Oh, nothing. Just worker reviews, you know, the usual."

Her attempt to sound nonchalant had gone over terribly. House was giving her a look that a father gives a child who has just rift off a terrible lie.

"What’s on the board, Cuddy?"

She tried to laugh and blow it off again.

"I told you, it’s nothing…"

"If it was nothing, than you wouldn’t be trying so hard to hide it from me."

"I’m not trying to hide it from you. I just know that you won’t be interested in…"

"Then let me see it."

"What?"

"Let me see the paper if it’s nothing."

"Wha? That’s… ridiculous, you’re paranoid"

"You’re not making a good argument for yourself."

Before she could respond, he had made a snatch at the paper. She was able to pull it out of his reach just in time. She stood out of his reach and walked toward the trash can outside the room, pulled the blank sheet off the clipboard crumpled it up and threw it away.

"Nice thing about not being crippled you know."

She said with a smile.

"You are aware that I have minions, and they are required to do my bidding or else they lose their jobs?"

"Yes, that is true, but if they don’t do MY bidding, then they lose there jobs anyway… oh, and lets not forget that I outrank you."

Suddenly Cuddy realized that he was staring at her again. Eyes piercing through hers, trying to figure her out, like she was a puzzle. Unfortunately, she knew that she wasn’t that hard to solve. She looked away from him as she blushed. She could have cursed her autonomic reflexes for kicking in at such a bad time.
He simply took all of her into consideration.

"What was on the sheet of paper, Cuddy?"

"Well, it was a request for transfer to the Bahamas with your name written on it, but now I think I’m just going to give you more clinic duty here."

She said sarcastically. When she looked back at him he had that smile on his face, his knowing smile. She had come to sit back down next to him, but she was starting to think that hadn’t been such a good idea. The proximity was giving her goosebumps that she was sure he could see.
There was distance between them. His arm was well situated on the bed, and her hands were in her lap, but she felt as if she were naked in front of him. His eyes did wonders. With a simple look, she was slowly realizing that he could melt her.
He simply stared at her, still sizing her up. All she could imagine were those piercing eyes, and how they would look when he was on top of her. The emotion that they would reveal as they both climbed to a mutual orgasm. She could almost smell the heady scent of it, taste it on her lips. It was intoxicating. He was intoxicating.
She finally couldn’t take anymore. She stood up without excuse and began to walk toward the door.

"I love it when you let your hair down. You need to do it more often."

She stopped at the door and turned to face him with a roll of the eyes. Her hair was in a neat little bun that day.

"Is that supposed to be your lame attempt at an insult for how I look today?"

"No, it was a metaphor. I use those from time to time."

He said with a smile. She looked away when the realization hit her. She was always very uptight with him, but she knew why. If she caved in at all then it would just be a very slow fall. To where? She didn’t know, and she wasn’t quite ready to find out yet.

"I can’t do that too often around you, House."

She said in barely more than a whisper.

"Why not?"

He inquired gently.

"Because, I can’t risk falling too far down your rabbit hole. Some of us like to keep our feet on the ground."

And with that she turned, and left. House stared after her for a few minutes until a nurse walked passed his vision. It took a few chaste remarks, but he finally goaded her into reaching into the trashcan to retrieve the crumpled piece of paper.
The nurse handed it to him and walked away. House slowly flattened the sheet. When the sheet was back to its original state, he flipped it over a few times before smiling. He smiled with a happiness he hadn’t felt in a few days. He had been right.
She had come to see him.

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