Seeds of Jealousy

Dee

I am lying here in this hospital bed and it feels like I’ve been here forever by this point. The twins were born three days ago. I smile as I look down into the crib where they’re sleeping and run my finger over their cheeks.

“You look so much like your father. I know it’s been a rough road, but I promise, from this point on, that we will all do everything we can to keep you safe and happy.”

I prop a pillow against my knees and bring them both into my lap so I can give them their bottles.

Smiling at my darling twins, I can’t believe how much they resemble Justin. “I think maybe I was wrong about your daddy. He’s been through so much in such a short time, but he’s a good man and he’s strong. I’ve been watching him since Lindsay came to visit. The way he is with Brian and the two of you. Even me. After all I put him through he would still do anything for me. Oh, I know I’m probably not one of his favorite people, not that I can blame him, but I can see how much he loves you, how much he loves Brian. I think Lindsay may be right; Brian’s a better man because of Justin. We’re so lucky to be considered part of their family. Deb, Linds, Mel, the guys. They all love you both, just like I do.” I pause and take a shaky breath as I wipe a tear from my eye.

“I’m really sorry for what I did. I lied to everyone and even though they say they’ve forgiven me, it’s not as easy to forgive myself. I tried to tear your daddies apart, but they are too strong. And so are you two. I know you have no reason to believe me after everything that’s happened, but I promise I will never leave nor will I ever hurt either of you. We will all do everything to protect you.” I wipe the now steady stream of tears from my eyes, overwhelmed by how much I love them, even though they’re not Brian’s.

“You look like a happy mother,” the nurse says with a smile as she walks in with the doctor.

“I am. They are perfect little angels.” I’m still smiling as she takes them from my lap.

“They have a great looking father.” She winks at me.

“Is everything okay?” I ask the doctor as he finishes checking on the babies and turns to me.

“They’re doing just fine. So well, in fact, that they’ll be going home just as soon as their father gets here to take them.”

“What about me?” I ask.

“Dee, I’m worried about your blood pressure. You had a difficult labor toward the end and it’s still higher than I’d like to see it. I’d like you to stay a few days more so I can keep an eye on this, just so we can be sure there’s nothing else going on.” He writes something down on my chart.

“But I need to go home with my babies,” I try to tell him.

“They have enough people to take care of them for a few days,” he replies, smiling at me. “Right now, you need to concentrate on you.”

“I just don’t want to be separated from them,” I whisper to myself.

“Don’t worry, it’ll only be a few days,” he tells me. “You need this time to relax.”

“Yes, doctor,” I sarcastically remark.

“Good. We will call the father right away to give him the good news about the twins.” He walks out, closing the door behind him.

“I wouldn’t mind him taking me home. The father I mean.” The nurse laughs, walking out as well.

”I can’t believe I am stuck in this place again.” I look down at the twins.

“Hey you should feel good about that. You get to stay here and relax without a care in the world,” Brian says as he walks in.

“Where’s Justin?” I ask.

“He’s signing papers for the twins to go home.” He leans down and kisses my cheek.

“At least they get to go home.” I run a finger over their faces once more as Justin walks in.

“How are my children? Ready to go home?” He picks Justine up and kisses her, then does the same thing to Aidan.

“They are fine, Justin. I’m not ready to let them go.” I smile looking down at them.

“Well they are. I can’t wait to get them home and into their new cribs, or crib for the time being. We thought since they’re so tiny they should sleep together a few more months.”

I look at him, smiling at Aidan who is sucking his thumb.

Brian

I watch the two people who are the biggest parts of my life. My best friend from when I was a child and my best friend and partner for the rest of my life.

“How are you feeling?” I ask her.

“Good, though I’d be better if I could go home with my babies,” she sadly says.

“I know. But you heard what the doctor said,” I whisper to her.

“I heard. But I don’t want to be away from them for so long. I can’t wait until I get out and I can be home with them.”

I look at Justin who seems like he just wants to get out of here. I really wish things hadn’t come down to this. I realize Justin doesn’t trust her, and I can’t say as I blame him. In the time he’s known her she’s done nothing but try to split us up, then she did her best to keep him from enjoying the experience of becoming a father for the first time. I know what she did was wrong, but I just can’t turn my back on her. He doesn’t know the Dee I grew up with, the one who was my best friend for so many years. And now here I am, about to launch into a fight for custody between the man I love and the woman who loves me.

I look over at him smiling down at his babies with so much love in his eyes. They’re a part of him and he deserves the chance to know them, to love them. It’s moments like this when I know we’re doing the right thing.

Justin

Dee picks the twins up, kissing them as they snuggle in her arms. I see Brian beside her, running a hand over Justine’s little face while his other hand strokes Dee’s hair.

If it weren’t for the fact that I know they are mine, and that Brian supports me in my desire to have them, I would be worried about the cozy scene before me.

I have to get over this jealousy thing. He’s already made it clear he is with me and me only, but they share so much, a daughter, a past, things that I’ll never be able to share with him.

Trying to push the troubling thoughts from my mind, I clear my throat. “I should get them ready to go.”

“Okay, take care of them until I get out,” she insists.

“I’ll always take care of them.”

Brian looks at me as I simply nod my head with a coy smile.

After placing the babies in their car seats I walk over to Dee and Brian and kiss Brian on the cheek. “I’ll wait in the hall while you have some time with your friend..”

“Okay, Sunshine.” Pulling me close, he kisses my lips.

I walk out of the room after letting Dee kiss them good bye. The nurses all gather around for the final ooohs and ahhhs.

“Let us know when you are ready to take them out. It’s policy that one of us go with you,” one of them tells me.

“Okay, no problem,” I reply with a smile.

I take a seat and wait for Brian.

After a few minutes we see him leave the room, looking at me and smiling. “Ready to go, Sunshine?” I nod my head and he looks down at the twins. “What about you little stars?”

“Stars?” I ask.

“What? You figure you’re the only one who deserves celestial body status?”

I give him my biggest ‘sunshine’ smile, kissing him before picking the twins up.

He takes one from my hands.

“We are ready, nurse,” I say out, never taking my eyes off his.

We get the ‘little stars’ home and into their crib.

“They are probably hungry,” Brian whispers, glancing at his watch. “I’ll make the bottles.”

As he leaves the room, I lean over the crib. I feel tears rolling down my cheeks as I look at my perfect babies. “How did I get so lucky?” Picking them up I sit in the rocking chair, kissing them both on the foreheads.

“I love you both so much. I never knew I could love this much. At least not someone who’s family.”

“You love your family, Justin, I know you do. You love us all,” Brianna says as she walks in and gently takes Justine from my arms. “Hi baby sister.”

As I rock Aidan and watch Brianna with Justine, I know life is perfect.

“You both look so in love. Just don’t go getting any ideas about having one of your own anytime soon, young lady,” Brian says with a playfully stern voice.

Laughing, she gives him a look. “Don’t worry, I don’t want to go through all that pain.”

We all laugh again as Brian hands us the bottles. He sits next to me as I feed Aidan.

“You look so perfect with them,” he whispers to me.

“We are all perfect, Brian. All of us,” I say as he looks from Brianna, to Justine, to Aidan and to my face.

“Yes, I know. Just didn’t want to be obvious. You look so happy.” He kisses my lips.

“We are bonding.” I look down at the sleeping form in my arms.

“I can tell. And I am happy for it. I love you, Justin.” He runs a hand on my head.

“I love you, too.” I smile at him. Once these kids are safely here with us always, I will feel much better, knowing once and for all that nothing will ever tear us apart.

NOTHING!