Bought

Blair woke slowly, feeling warm, content. He smiled even before he opened his eyes. He was surrounded by the scent of powder and babies, which reminded him he was in his favorite place to be. The nursery.



He stretched mightily, until his body shuddered with the force of it, then abruptly went limp feeling the peace of his surroundings, the boneless relaxation of his body. He loved this room. Light filtered in from windows set high enough that the sun never touched delicate skin directly. But suffused the whole interior with a golden glow.



Blair let his eyes open and drift towards the one large cradle the babies shared. He wanted them to be close, to know each other, and always be together. He had not had siblings; there was only his mother. She tried to be enough, but she was also a wanderer at heart, so from time to time, Blair had no one but himself. He shook off the memory of loneliness and sat up.



The babies were so quiet this morning. He got to his feet, sweeping the robe out of his way and stepped up to the edge of the cradle. His heart seized up in his chest. It was empty, even the sheets and blankets gone. His babies were gone.



Blair whirled, his gaze dissecting every inch of the small room. There was nowhere else they could be. Their diaper bag was gone. He started to shake. He made it to the doorway on unsteady legs.



Gone. Gone. Gone. It had happened. He leaned against the door frame, tried to breathe, to think beyond his panic. Oh god. They were gone. He'd never find them. In a few months time perhaps they wouldn't even remember him, some caretaker replacing him in their memories.



Trembling Blair forced himself out into the hall, grasping the wall for support.



"My god." It was William, business-like in his flawless suit. "Blair! What is wrong with you?" The older man reached Blair's side in an instant. Blair clung to him. Christopher as perfectly pressed as his senior joined them a moment later.



"Please." Blair begged, his voice no stronger than a whisper. "Please." Tears choked his throat. His knees sagged.



At William's nod Christopher swept the Guide up into his arms where Blair lay limp, like a child in the huge man's hold.



"Are you ill?" William hustled them down the hall and into the nearest room. "Put him here. Damn it, his skin is like ice."



Christopher gently lowered the Guide onto a wide couch. William tugged a throw down over Blair's shoulder tucking it in. "Call Dr. Miller in here. She'll have to finish examining the babies later."

But Christopher only turned, not making it to the hall, before he could go after thedoctor, Jim appeared in the doorway his brown beetled, his face tight with concern, Rafe close behind.



Jim's expression was thunderous, worried as he zeroed in on his Guide laying pale and trembling.



"Blair!" The Sentinel was beside him, reaching out, pushing urgent hands under the throw and running them over his Guide searching for the problem.



Rafe stepped into the room further, carrying a bassinet. From which echoed three distressed cries in perfect synchrony. Blair shot up off of the couch arms reaching out. Rafe let him pull the bassinet to his chest, keeping a supporting hand underneath the wicker bottom.



"They were gone." Blair exclaimed, sitting down in the middle of the floor, the bassinet in front of him. Over his head the Sentinels exchanged looks. "They were gone. When I woke and looked into the crib. It was empty."



Tears were running down his face. Jim sat down on the floor with him, scooting up behind Blair and enveloping him in a loose embrace.



"You knew Dr. Miller was coming today. To examine you and the children." He said mildly, resting his big hands on the softness of his Guide's belly. He felt the lowest set of Blair's breasts brush against the tops of his hands. Rafe was on his knees, helping Blair unload his babies. Blair wanted all of them in his lap, in his grasp.



William and Christopher watched the group on the floor until the doorway was once again filled with a figure. Dr. Miller watched with them as Rafe, Jim and Blair unwrapped each small, wriggling, cooing body and made sure they were still as perfect as they had been.



"Blair," Dr. Miller said. "What is it?"



"He woke up and the babies were gone," Jim said. "It frightened him."



"You didn't wake him when you took the babies from the room?" the doctor asked, her voice held the edge of disapproval. Surely they were aware of Blair's persisting anxiety when it came to his children.



Jim's immediate impulse to the accusation in the doctor's tone, was to throw her out of the house, but he knew doing that would only stress Blair further. He clamped down his anger as much as possible, but it still made itself known in the timbre of his voice and his glare as he answered the doctor. "Blair has been very stressed lately and not sleeping well. You know this because he was in your office just last week for an exam. He needs sleep, I saw no reason to wake him when he knew your home visit was today. He made the appointment himself if you recall." Jim's words were icily correct.



"I apologize Sentinel," the doctor said, backing down immediately. "Of course, as always, you did what you believed to be best for your Guide. I didn't mean to infer otherwise. I am always concerned for my patients. I meant no insult."



"I'm sorry, Jim," Blair said, drawing his Sentinel's attention away from the apologetic woman. "I wasn't thinking. I woke up and they were gone. I panicked."



Jim reached up and stroked his Guide's tangled hair back from his face. All his anger flowed away replaced by a rare feeling of contentment and a surge of protectiveness. "You're all safe here, in the compound," he said with a fierce, toothy smile. "No one will take our babies while you sleep. They would have to go through Rafe and I not to mention my father, Christopher and every Sentinel here. No one could sleep through that battle. Not even you."



"Our babies," the words were no more than a whisper on an exhale of Blair's breath.



Jim leaned in and kissed Blair on the forehead. When the kiss broke the no nonsense Jim had returned. "The Sentinels have just arrived for a meeting about the Guide reforms. Father wants Rafe and I to attend. Will you be okay alone with Dr. Miller or would you like me or Rafe to stay with you?"



"I prefer to be examined in private," Blair said. He didn't really want to be alone, but if either of them were there Dr. Miller couldn't give him the pills he hoped she had.



Jim nodded and stood up. "If you need anything call out, Rafe or I will come." The two Sentinels left the room closing the door quietly behind them.



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The doctor busied herself helping Blair put the babies to his breast, she wanted to be sure that the Sentinels would not overhear their conversation. When she finally looked up into Blair's eyes concern clouded her face. She pulled a small bottle of pills from her doctor's bag and held them in her fist. "Are you sure you want to do this, Blair? I'm not even sure these will work as a contraceptive on a Guide; they've never been tested. Your physiology is different than a woman's and I'm concerned they could be harmful."



"I just need a little more time before becoming pregnant again. Jim's right, I have been tired out. Taking care of them, worrying about getting pregnant, it is so hard to relax. I only want what is best for my babies. I'm afraid that their care will suffer if I conceive again so soon, or that the pregnancy will be affected and the newborns won't be healthy."



"We can get you a nurse to help with the babies if it comes to that," the doctor said, gently. "As far as a healthy pregnancy, there is no reason to fear otherwise. All you need is vitamins, proper diet, exercise and rest. You are a healthy Guide with good Sentinels that care for you; you will have healthy babies. Which reminds me..." She produced a second bottle of vitamins, handing them over as well. "These are very strong, a stress formula. I want you to take one every morning, always with food so they won't upset your stomach." Blair nodded.



"But I want to be more than a baby machine. I want to be a parent to my children. I want to be involved in raising them. I can't do that if I am constantly pregnant. The drive to mate with my Sentinels is overwhelming. I've been avoiding them, but last week... with Rafe... I begged Jim not to stop him."



"Blair, you can't take these pills if you're already pregnant." The alarm in her tone communicated clearly, and he hastened to reassure her.



"I'm not. I haven't had intercourse with anyone. It was only oral with Rafe," Blair blushed, "but I wanted...want more. They've been occupied with work and the new reforms, but it is getting more difficult for me. Please, I know I can't put it off for a year but six months or even three months would mean a lot to me."



The doctor sighed, "There are things you will have to agree to before I give these to you."



"I promise, I will be careful," Blair said as hope began to fill him, "and if the Sentinels do find them I will never tell where I got them."



"Thank you for that Blair," the doctor said. "But I am concerned about your health and the babies health. Everything you ingest goes into your milk. If the babies stop nursing or if you notice any changes in behavior you have to stop taking the pills."



"I promise," Blair promised, and he meant it. "The last thing I want is to hurt my babies. I am doing this for them."



"Then remember their mother's health is very important to their well being. If you experience any dizziness, ringing in your ears, fainting or leg cramps you have to stop taking the pills. Also if you have breakthrough bleeding or you think you have gotten pregnant stop taking the pills and call me immediately. Day or night."



"I promise," Blair said. If any of those things happened he knew he wouldn't have to call. His Sentinels would be shouting loud enough for her to hear anywhere in Cascade. He grimaced, praying it would never come to that.



"I am breaking the law by giving these to you." The doctor said her voice absolutely serious. "I hope I am doing the right thing. Do you remember the list of things I told you to watch for?"

Blair rattled off the list.



"Okay good, don't forget." Dr. Miller said. "I'll be back in a month to examine you and the babies. But remember; call me if you experience any of those symptoms or anything out of the ordinary for you or the babies. Understand?" The doctor reluctantly handed the small bottle to Blair.



"I understand Dr. Miller," Blair said. "I wish I could express how grateful I am for this."



Dr. Miller smiled. "Let me help you get the babies back in their crib before I leave."



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Blair clutched the little bottle of pills to his chest, hiding it in the many deep folds of his robes, right up against his pounding heart and hoping like hell not to run into any of the Sentinels who frequented the ruler's compound. His fist was clenched so hard around the small bottle it was actually painful.



It was his imagination, he was sure, but carrying the container made him feel as if he had a flashing neon sign over his head saying, "Guide up to no good, stop him!" If he didn't think Jim or Rafe would eventually find it, he'd have made a small, secret pocket in his robes. It wasn't the first time he'd wanted somewhere to keep private things.



Blair believed Dr. Miller was right. Sentinels could get Guides pregnant. Even if Jim didn't believe, and William doubted. Blair knew better. He could feel it was true.



It had taken all his powers of persuasion to convince Dr. Miller to give the tablets to him. She had cautioned him repeatedly that the formulation might not work as a contraception for him. In fact she was a little worried they might prove unhealthy. They certainly had never been tested on Guides.



No one would find out she was helping him like this. He couldn't fail to note her ambivalence, her doubt she was doing the right thing. She was nervous, made him an appointment for a recheck with her before she even left the compound. She wasn't going to let him be harmed. He was grateful she cared.



He swallowed one of the pills. Washed it down with a full glass of water. He finally secreted the remainder of the tablets under the drawer of his bedside table. He hoped it would be safe enough.

Then he rushed back to the nursery. The children were beginning to stir. He loved spending time with them. They never failed to fill his heart with love and hope.



Now if only he could rid himself of the guilt that was threatening to overwhelm him.



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The Vet snarled at the pile of papers he'd gone through. There were three months worth of statements, copies of charts, and pharmacy requisitions on his desk. He'd paid dearly for them. All of it was from the office of one Dr. Miller. He'd bribed a janitor to steal paperwork destined for the shredder and deliver it to his back door instead.



He scowled at the thought of her, his teeth bared in hate for the doctor who had reduced him to sorting through garbage. He was seeking any possible advantage he could get over her. She was the one responsible for the ruination of his plans. For his humiliation.



She had stolen the Ellison Guide from him and prevented him from acquiring one of the pups he so richly deserved and desperately wanted.



When William Ellison had suspended her, he'd thought things were looking up. He thought it was his chance to present himself, to fawn... no, be understanding...and get himself invited back into the role he'd wanted to keep, Blair's veterinarian. But that hadn't lasted long. He'd had Blair once more in his clutches...in his care, he amended once again, and then that huge, lumbering idiot from the Guardians had interfered and taken the little beast away before he could get anything started. There was nothing he could do about the Guardians; they were untouchable.



Besides, he had only himself to blame, if he'd moved faster and not tried to involve the students the Guardian wouldn't have noticed that Blair was missing from his room, he would not have had the time to come and snatch him away. He had been so close to realizing his dreams. Time, if only he had had just a little more, just enough to at least mate the Guide once, or artificially inseminate it. If he'd done that, he'd have some claim on one of the pups for payment. There was legal precedent for it. As it was...he'd lost that chance. He wouldn't make the same mistake again.



He set aside the stack he had just finished going through and eyed the remainder. Only a few hundred sheets left. Then he saw it, near the bottom of the stack of papers. He was so tired he almost missed the significance of it. It was a single requisition for birth control pills. He quickly rifled through the rest of the papers and then he returned to the one he had set aside, a frown creasing his brow.



She was a doctor as well as a vet, but he had never known her to take on any non-Guide patients. Why then should she have any use at all for birth control pills? She shouldn't.



He felt the smile grow wider across his face and he showed his teeth. Oh, yes, this was good, better than he ever could have imagined. He had her this time. Dr. Miller was prescribing birth control to Guides, a felony. She was going down. No one could save her from herself.



He savored his victory for a few more seconds. Then he reached for the phone on the edge of his paper-strewn desk. He was so going to enjoy this. And he was doing the right thing too, the legal thing. He grinned; there was no way he could lose.



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William sighed. He was feeling the strain of fighting for the reforms. How easy it would be to relent and give into the unending pressure from so many factions and to let the Guide Laws stand as they had for centuries.



He hung his head, but there was the small matter of Guides not reproducing and the inevitable decrease in the number of Guides. There was the suffering of Sentinels, now and in the future. No, he couldn't back down. He had to stand firm. The Laws had been outdated for too long.



Daily visitors came to the compound, bent on seeing him and changing his mind. Oh, sure there were as many supporters as there were objectors. William's younger son, Stephen, was out on the road, touring with his junior Sentinel and his Guide, an outspoken advocate for what his father was doing, his eloquent writings on the subject had created more than a passing interest from around the entire continent.



Support was growing. But still, William was tired. He was tired of the stream of worried Sentinels at his door, men he never refused to see and counsel on his position and the facts behind it, his belief that reform was good, it would make all of their lives better.



And now, to top it off, Christopher, his own partner, was having difficulty. A different kind of problem, but no less serious. Christopher was having trouble being in close daily proximity to a Guide in Heat. William was well aware of what Christopher was going through, he himself felt the burn. It nagged at him every moment.



William had been very quickly aware of Blair's Heat when it first began. His whole body had gone on alert. His senses engaged at a level they hadn't reached in years. He quickly tracked down the source of his new state of affairs, Blair, wrapped up in a scent so enticing William found his mouth watering involuntarily. He desired nothing more than to be able to put his mouth on Blair, his hands, his tongue, he wanted Blair. Not with love, but with the deepest instinct a Sentinel had. He wanted to slake himself in the fertile body. He wanted to breed, mate with a Guide.



Blair didn't make it at all easy, flitting around and spreading the scent of his body's need, a need that was never relieved. William wanted to shout at his son to do something, to take some action, to put Blair on his back and give him what he required, to bring them all a little peace. Before William or worse yet, Christopher lost control completely and took the Guide.



Dear Christopher was still a virgin and dedicated to the traditional ways, customs that dictated that he would not have sex until he was alpha himself, if ever. Or until it was William's will that he do so. Christopher had always borne his virginity with pride in the past. But now, well, they had never had a fertile Guide living in the compound with them before.



Christopher now, instead of feeling proud, was suffering. William considered sending him away. Yet, he was first to admit he needed his second with him. To accomplish all that had to be done he had to be at at the top of his game. Christopher had been at his side for so long and William needed access to his second's strength, his faith, and his belief that they were doing the right thing, no matter the struggle it was. Christopher's unswerving support and unflagging energy was more then important; it was vital.



Yet. Christopher was suffering and William knew that there was little to be done to alleviate the condition. He and Christopher had a public reserve, unfailingly correct, they had little contact physically unless they were alone. From time to time they touched, but discretely and it had never come close to sex between them. Not even when William was younger and far randier.



Christopher was questioning himself, asking if his faith was true and doubting his commitment to a way of life he and his entire family had always believed in. It pained William to see his indecision and the hurt it was causing his long time partner. His life without Christopher would be empty and truly bereft.



William reached out and put his hand on Christopher's cheek, cupping his palm around the strong, handsome jaw. The far larger man turned his face into the touch, letting out a groan. The salt-wetness of his sweat coated William's skin. William leaned in to offer what comfort he could.