Seeds of Jealousy

Brian

As they wheel Dee back into the room, I can’t help but think of what brought us here.

“How could I have been so fucking stupid?” I say more to myself than anyone.

“Brian, this isn’t your fault. She needed to hear the truth,” Justin whispers to me.

I move away from him. “Not at the risk of your twins’ lives. If something happens to them, it will be my fault.” He pulls me in to him. “I’m sorry, Justin”

“Sorry is bullshit. Isn’t that what you used to say? Brian, they will be fine.”

I don’t know which one of us he’s trying to convince. “I shouldn’t have said it like that. I should have broken it to her gently. But she was pissing me off with all this jealousy shit.”

“Brian, we have both been jealous of each other. I was jealous of how she knew your past and how close you were then and how you just forgave her for lying for ten years. But that’s what you do for friends and family. I was jealous of the fact she knows the deeper part of you that was hurt and was there to kiss all the pain away. She was jealous of me because of what we have now. That we love each other and I can’t say I blame her. I know what it’s like to be under the Brian Kinney spell.” The whole time I look into his eyes and I know he’s telling the truth.

“No need to be jealous.” I touch his face. “My heart and life is and always will be yours.”

“I know that, now. But I know what she is going through. Her love for you is making it hard to let go of you. That doesn’t make what’s happening your fault,” he tells me.

“Justin…” Before I can finish, the doctor calls our name.

“Yes, how are the kids? How is Dee?” Justin asks. After everything she’s put him through, he’s still worried about her.

“We have them all stabilized, but why don’t you come in and we will talk about this. Which one is the father?” he asks, looking back and forth between us.

“We both are,” Justin tells him in a way the doctor doesn’t question. Nodding, he takes us both back to the room that Dee is in.

“Brian, Justin,” she says as we enter the room.

“How are you?” Justin asks Dee who is looking at me.

“I’m sorry,” I repeat.

“It’s not your fault. It’s…”

“They are both right,” the doctor says, cutting her off. “It’s not your fault, Mr. Kinney. This wasn’t brought on by any one incident, it’s been accumulating throughout the pregnancy. The stress she has put on herself is what caused this.”

“But she was bleeding,” Justin pointed out in a concerned tone.

The doctor nodded. “Sometimes during pregnancy, the placenta may detach from the uterine wall before or during labor. This may cause a certain amount of vaginal bleeding and would also explain the pains you’ve been having, Dee.”

“How serious is this?” Brian asked with a small frown.

“Thankfully, we only see a small detachment at this point,” the doctor explained. “We’ll have to keep an eye on her blood pressure and monitor the remainder of the pregnancy to ensure it doesn’t get to a point of detachment that will endanger the lives of the babies. I’d like to admit Dee into the hospital for the remainder of her pregnancy. That way, we’ll be able to keep an eye on things and hopefully hold off labor as long as possible. That will give those babies the best chance at a healthy delivery.”

I look at Justin who is now sitting beside the gurney, actually holding Dee’s hand.

“The best chance?” he asks a slight tremor in his voice. “Will they be OK?”

“We will have another sonogram and see just where we are, but as you can tell from the fetal monitor, there are good, strong heartbeats from the twins.”

Justin nods his head, his eyes watching the heartbeats flick steadily across the small screen.

I walk over putting my hand on his shoulder and taking Dee’s other hand. “Do whatever needs to be done,” I say. “We can’t lose them… any of them.”

“We will take good care of both mother and babies,” the doctor assures us. “Try not to worry.” He looks down at Dee. “That especially goes for you,” he tells her. “Additional stress at this point could have dire consequences.” After glancing at the three of us, he leaves the room.

“I’m scared, Brian,” Dee cries out.

“We all are,” Justin tells her in a calm voice.

She nods in acceptance of that before leaning her head back and closing her eyes.

A moment later, the nurse returns and begins taking Dee’s vitals. Both men watch silently until they saw her injecting something into the IV tubing.

“What are you giving her?” Justin asks, looking at Dee’s stomach.

“Nothing that will harm your babies, Sir. It’s just to help her relax and get some rest. It’s the best thing for her and the babies right now,” she explains.

“Thanks,” he whispers with a small nod.

“I know you’re both concerned, but there really is nothing more you can do here tonight. Why don’t the two of you head home and if anything changes, we will call you immediately. She’s going to be resting the rest of the night,” she says with a warm smile. “You really should go home and try to get some rest yourselves.” She puts the chart down as she walks out.

“Justin, she’s right. Let’s head home. There isn’t anything we can do here,” I whisper in his ear as I wrap my arm around his waist.

“You know it isn’t your fault, right?” he asks, looking up at me.

“Yeah, I know. I just wish it hadn’t gotten this far.” He kisses me softly.

“Me too. Let’s go home,” he replies with a yawn.

Heading home we climb into bed, hoping that everything will work out once and for all. We deserve it. I just want Justin happy.

Wrapping my arms around him he snuggles in to my chest.

“Thanks, Sunshine,” I whisper.

“For what?” he murmurs, turning his head slightly to kiss my chest.

“For not being an asshole,” I reply simply.

“No problem, no room in this loft for two assholes.”

I swat his ass. “Twat.”

He leans up, kissing my lips. “You wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s the reason you love me.” He puts his head back down with a quiet sigh. “And I love you.”

“You’re right, I wouldn’t have it any other way, but that’s only one reason of many,” he replies, yawning. “Remind me later and I’ll give you the complete list.”

“You got it, Stud.”

Holding each other tight, we fall asleep in each other’s arms. Hoping that tomorrow brings a better day for us all.