Within Your Heart

“He what?” All the objects yelled in unison. Gaius repeated miserably,

“Let him go. Yes.”

“But, so close,” Lancelot replied, not quite believing what had happened.

“He finally learned to love,” Gwen murmured sadly.

“So why are we still like this then?” Lancelot huffed in frustration. Gwen sighed.

“I think being a sword has finally got to you. It’s all well and good his highness being in love, but don’t forget it had to be returned.”

“And now he’s gone. Hope is gone,” Gaius sighed sadly. It was a sentiment shared by all.

-x-

Merlin raced back to his room. He changed out of the extravagant outfit and back into his old clothes. He hissed slightly as the rough fabric of his shirt brushed against his tender back. He was not relishing the thought of having to ride Morgana but he knew he wouldn’t have a chance of finding his mother if he did not take the horse.

He rushed down to the stables and woke Morgana, who snorted her displeasure at being disturbed.

“Sorry princess. It’s an emergency.” He saddled her as quickly as his shaking hands could manage. He sat in the saddle carefully and tried to ignore the dull ache. It was not something he wanted to think about right now. He had to get to his mother. As he rode out of the gates he heard a loud roar from above. He halted Morgana and turned to look up. He couldn’t see anything but he could feel it. He felt a part of himself shatter; the sound had been a hopeless and heartbreaking cry. But Merlin knew he couldn’t turn back. He hardened his resolve and turned back to the forest.

It was hours later when he finally found Hunith, curled up and shivering underneath a tree that provided little shelter from the elements. Merlin jumped off of Morgana and ran to her.

“Mother?” He was close to tears at seeing her look so fragile. Hunith’s eyes fluttered open. She gasped as she saw her son in front of her.

“Merlin? Oh Merlin! I thought I would never see you again,” She flung her arms around him and cried into his shoulder. He picked her up off the floor and carried her over to Morgana. He winced as he heard and felt the chesty coughs that shook her whole body. With a little help, she managed to climb onto Morgana and Merlin sat in the saddle behind her. They made their way home as fast as Merlin dared.

-x-

He carried her into the house after securing Morgana and started up the fire with a flick of his fingers. Shrugging off his jacket, he turned to face Hunith. He was slightly shocked to see the look of horror on her face.

“What is it mother? What’s wrong?” he knelt beside her, thinking the worst.

“Merlin, your back, you’re bleeding.” Merlin looked at her with surprise, then with guilt. He couldn’t quite meet her eyes.

“It’s nothing. I’m fine.”

“Let me see,” she insisted in a way only a mother could. Merlin begrudgingly took off his shirt and turned his back to her.

“Merlin! What did it do to you?” He turned back to face her. “How did you get away from it?”

“No, you don’t understand, it’s – it’s not like that,” he gave a deep sigh and hung his head, “he let me go.” Hunith frowned, not quite knowing what to make of the situation. She was about to ask what he meant by that, when there was a loud knock on the door. Hunith tried to stand to answer it, but Merlin was quicker to get on his feet and gently pushed her back down. He gave her a mock warning glare before answering the door. The man standing on the other side sent a cold shiver running down his spine. Half of his face was disfigured, but that just made the smile he wore all the more sinister.

“Good evening, mister Emrys. I am here to collect your mother.”

“My mother?” Merlin’s eyes narrowed, “Who are you? What do you want?” the man’s smile only grew.

“My name is Edwin Muirden. I run the insane asylum.” He shifted slightly so Merlin could see the simple cart behind him. Merlin’s eyes went wide.

“My mother’s not crazy. Leave us alone!” He held the door tightly, afraid he would do something incriminating. Merlin suddenly realised half of Ealdor was standing outside.

“Oh don’t worry yourself. She will be well looked after.”

“We all heard her, ranting on about a beast.” Merlin looked down at Mordred who seemed to be far too happy about this situation than a young boy ought to have been. “Had you prisoner, she said. You look fine to me.”

“I won’t let you near her.” His voice lowered dangerously.

“Merlin? What’s wrong?” Hunith shuffled over to the door.

“Hunith,” Mordred called, “Tell us about the monster.”

“Well, he was- he was huge and had large claws and sharp teeth.”

“See. She is crazy,” Mordred pointed out to the people. Merlin wondered if the young boy was the crazy one. There certainly seemed to be a slight spark of insanity in the large, pale blue eyes. Perhaps it was from years of having to be Uther’s servant.

“But it’s true,” Hunith insisted, pushing past her son even as Merlin tried to grab her. Edwin indicated to Uther’s lackeys and they picked up Hunith and dragged her over to barred cart. “Merlin!” she screamed, verging on hysterical.

“Lock her up!” Mordred giggled. It would have been almost childlike if it wasn’t for the circumstances. It pleased him to see someone else suffering Uther’s wrath for once.

“You can’t do this to her! Let her go!” Merlin rushed from the house only to be held back as Kanan and Valiant grabbed him, holding him roughly by his arms.

“This could all be cleared up so easily,” a voice drawled next to Merlin’s ear. Merlin flinched at the sound. “Talk can be forgotten. Suggestions erased. All it takes is one little word from you, Merlin.” Merlin turned to look at Uther.

“I beg your pardon?” Uther smirked.

“Just let me have you, Merlin. Give yourself to me.” He ran a gloved hand up Merlin’s bare chest in a twisted imitation of what had occurred before. Merlin was annoyed at himself for not putting a clean shirt on. The sorcerer smiled sweetly then spat in Uther’s face.

“You disgust me. I’d rather die.” Uther smiled.

“I can arrange that for you,” he growled back, wiping the spit from his face. “Have it your way.” He walked away, signalling for his men to throw Hunith in the cart. Merlin shrugged off the two men that held him.

“My mother isn’t crazy and I can prove it,” yelled defiantly at Uther’s back. He ran back into the house and grabbed his satchel, pulling the magic mirror from it. He yelled at it to show him Arthur as he ran back outside. He held it up so everyone could see. The crowd stood transfixed.

“It’s just a magic trick,” Aulfric shouted, clearly not impressed.

“No! He’s real,” Merlin told them.

“He looks dangerous,” a woman murmured. He shook his head.

“He might look it, but he’s kind and gentle. He wouldn’t harm anyone.”

“Is that so?” Uther sauntered up to Merlin. “So how do you explain this?” He grabbed Merlin by the throat and turned him around so everyone could see his back. “That’s your idea of kind and gentle? I’m curious to know what the opposite is in your mind.”

“It was an accident,” Merlin growled back, “he’s my friend.” Uther raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, really? I’m sure friends don’t get close enough to mark each other like that.” His voice was lowered so only Merlin could hear, a tight grip still held Merlin’s throat. “I would know those types of marks anywhere. I have given a few of them myself. If I didn’t know any better I would say you’d had… relations with this thing.” He looked at the mirror Merlin still held. “Did you let it touch you? Did you let it fuck you? You allowed a thing like that to… and not me?” Uther was shaking with anger.

“I wanted him to,” Merlin hissed out between clenched teeth.

“You wanted a monster to fuck you?”

“He’s not a monster, Uther. You are.” The self proclaimed king grabbed the mirror from Merlin’s grasp and looked at it with a smile. His grip tightened around Merlin’s throat stopping him from breathing for a moment before dropping to the floor. Merlin fell to the ground on hands and knees gasping for air. Uther kicked his side for good measure and Merlin rolled over in pain.

“And you are nothing but damaged goods,” he snarled down at the curled form before turning back to the crowd holding the mirror aloft. “We can all see here. This creature is nothing more than a vicious beast. You could see his back,” he indicated to Merlin. The whelp would be of some use after all. “Imagine that happening to your children! Your wives! Claws that will rip you apart, teeth that will tear at your flesh. This monster is an abomination. We will hunt it down and destroy it,” he sneered back down at Merlin, “and I will mount its head on my wall. Nothing and no one will take what’s mine!” All the men that stood around Uther cheered and yelled. “Go back to your homes, check on your families, find weapons and meet me in the square.” Everyone hurried off to their tasks, leaving Uther and his men standing outside the house.

“I won’t let you,” Merlin groaned from the floor, still clutching his side. Uther crouched down and grabbed his chin, pulling him half way from the floor.

“If you are not with us, then you are against us. Such a pity. You would have looked so good beside me. And under me.” Uther threw him back against the cold ground and Merlin winced. “Lock them up,” he told his men, “I don’t want them running ahead and warning the beast.” Kanen and Valiant sniggered as they dragged Merlin from the floor. He tried to struggle against them but they easily held him.

“Coward!” Merlin screamed in Uther’s direction, but Uther ignored him. Merlin saw him tuck the mirror into his belt. Tauren pulled Hunith from the cart and held her by her hair and arm. He pushed Hunith into the stable and laughed at her as she stumbled. Merlin quickly followed behind, hitting the ground with a grunt. Hunith knelt beside him.

“Are you alright?” Concern filled her voice and Merlin turned slightly dazed eyes to her worried ones.

“I’ll be fine.” He slowly sat up, wincing as his side ached. That kick would leave a rather colourful bruise. Merlin was thankful that Uther hadn’t kicked higher and broken his ribs. “We need to get to Arthur.”

“Arthur?” Hunith frowned. Merlin gave a small smile.

“Yes, Arthur. We’ve got to help him.”

“Did he… give you these?” She ran a cautious finger down one of the scratches. Merlin flushed and didn’t answer. It was not something he really wanted to discuss with her right now. Hunith saw her son’s reaction and gave him a smile of her own. “You care about him, don’t you?” Merlin nodded. “Then we will help, but we need to get out of here first.”