What You Don't Know...

A/N: Hey guys. I’m really sorry that this update has taken so long. I don’t have much of an excuse other than that I lose track of time quite easily.

I’d also like to take a minute to thank everyone for the really wonderful feedback they’ve left for this story. You guys have been really great and very understanding that I completely flaked and I appreciate it. :)


Chapter Twenty Four


Pushing open the door to her dark apartment, Chloe almost sagged with relief. Her first day back at work had been satisfying but long and she was glad to finally be away from the intense scrutiny that was natural consequence of keeping a secret from an entire building of the world’s greatest reporters.

As she dropped her keys on the small console table and flipped on the lights, she was struck by how foreign everything seemed. When she’d first rented her apartment it felt like she’d claimed her own little piece of Metropolis; that she’d finally started on the road to her dreams.

But now, as she gazed around at her cozy living room, the sense of peace and optimism that it had always represented seemed lost. When she looked at her small but comfortable sofa, all she could think about was a larger, leather couch where she’d sit and read, curled up against Lex as he went over facts and figures form the business day. When she glance over at her colorful and airy little kitchen her mind replaced the image with gleaming marble counters and walls of cherry wood cabinets as visions of picnic lunches and late night snacks came to life in her mind.

Everything around her was the same. There wasn’t one thing different. It was neat and tidy; exactly as she’d left it. No, she acknowledged. It hadn’t changed; she had.

With a heavy sigh she pulled off her coat and made her way into the bedroom. Some things, she decided, didn’t need to be dwelled upon on her first night home. Lex, and anything to do with him, was strictly off of her obsessing list until she found some kind of footing in what was once her hectic and yet oddly organized life.

Opening the closet, her hand froze as she reached for a hanger. There, where her simple yet serviceable wardrobe generally hung, was hanger after hanger of designer wear until it seemed that the small space might actually burst under the pressure of trying to contain them all. Some of them she didn’t recognize; evening gowns and business wear hadn’t been her attire during her time with Lex. Others were so familiar that she ached with the memories that they held. He’d loved her in green–

She winced at the thought, forcing herself to remember that that remark, like so many before and after had been a lie. Whatever feelings Lex claimed to now have for her, Chloe wasn’t foolish enough to believe that he’d harbored them all along. It was one of the many things that haunted her. Trying to determine how many of his words had been heartfelt and how many were designed to deceive her, make her betray her friend, leave her crushed.

Sitting on her bed, she looked at the clothes that, if she dedicated the entirety of every paycheck for the next five years, she could never afford, and tried to push away her emotions just for a few moments so that she could decide the best course of action. Chloe hated having to strategize her every move, but since their last encounter she’d begun to believe that Lex actually cared for her, wanted her back. Not that she’d take his word for it; on this or anything else for that matter; but it did seem to be the only thing that explained his actions since her memory had returned. And since she couldn’t trust him she knew that she could never give in.

But the trouble was that Lex was a Luthor; and she knew from experience how formidable they could be when pursuing a goal. Sure, she’d faced Lionel down and won, but she wasn’t foolish enough to believe that she would have done so without his son’s help and protection. And here she was, locked once more in a battle of wills with a Luthor, but with Lex as an opponent as opposed to an ally; and she was so very, very afraid that she wouldn’t emerge victorious.

Worse then all of that was that tiny wisp of hope in her heart, which she couldn’t seem to stomp out no matter how dedicated her effort, that wanted Lex to win. Wanted him to prove to her his love; to calm her fears and silence her doubts.

Of course she knew that he couldn’t. She’d had a lifetime of rejection to deal with and Lex had crafted a plan that played on every wound she’d hidden deep inside. She could love him – did love him – but she simply, sadly, couldn’t trust him. And that admission broke her heart just a little more now that she knew that at least some of what they’d had was real.

Shaking her head as if the motion could dispel her feelings, Chloe made her way back to the living room, pulled a phone book from one of the book shelves, located the number she needed, and grabbed the phone and dialed.

“Yes, is this Goodwill Charities? Great. I have some clothes to be picked up for donation.”


After her second day back, Chloe resigned herself to the fact that she was going to be the focus of speculation until some new mystery came along. At least, she consoled herself, in Metropolis it wouldn’t take more than a day or two.

Especially with the story that she and Lois were working. And as much as she was overjoyed to be able to throw herself into investigating, her first love, to avoid thoughts of her last, she had to admit that she was absolutely exhausted.

In fact, she planned to slip out of her clothes and into a bath until her fingers and toes wri–

The coat that she’d been about to hang up slipped from nerveless fingers as Chloe was confronted with the same sea of exquisite clothing that she had sent off that morning. Head spinning, she stumbled backwards, collapsing on the bed.

She didn’t know how much more she could take. She’d known that Lex wouldn’t give up, he’d told her as much, but she’d hoped she’d have a little time to settle, to build her defenses and remind herself of all the reasons she should hate him.

Of course she’d been a fool to think that he would let her. Lex had always excelled at identifying weakness and exploiting it. It was ridiculous to expect him to approach their relationship in anyway other than the one that he believed would bring ultimate success.

And it wasn’t that she couldn’t see the wisdom in his plan. He was trying to compel her to meet him on his territory. Lex was as new to loving as she was to being loved. With his mother and her father being gone, they’d both lost the only steadfast examples they’d had. In the midst of that kind of doubt and uncertainty it wasn’t at all surprising that Lex would try to grab every advantage he could.

The image of his face, the sound of his voice as he swore that he loved her was never far from her mind and Chloe knew that if his words were as true as he claimed then he’d leave nothing to chance. He’d engineer situations that would force her to confront him; use her anger and tenaciousness against her. Because he knew, as well as she did, that eventually she’d snap. Whether it was from fury or frustration, Chloe knew that she could only hold herself back for so long.

More than that, Lex seemed to understand that if she came to him there would be far less chance of interference from Clark than if he confronted her. With the lengths Chloe had gone to protect her friend over the last few years, she would never willingly drag him directly into the line of fire. And although Lex had said that the blow he’d taken to the face had been worth it, she sincerely doubted that he wanted to repeat the experience.

With a great deal of internalized castigation Chloe acknowledged that Lex wasn’t wrong. Eventually he’d wear her down to the point that, once again she’d storm his office to have it out with him. But as she rose and began to remove the blankets from the large hope chest Grandma Sullivan had given her so that she could fill it with the obscenely expensive clothing, she was glad to not that this was not that day.

Chapter Twenty Five


She couldn’t believe it. She’d been waiting, expecting something from Lex. It had been almost a week since she’d packed away the clothes he’d sent and it was with a melancholy sense of relief that she hadn’t heard or seen anything more from him.

But, apparently, all that was about to change.

Chloe had gone to her supervisor when the assignment first crossed her desk. She’d told him that she was actually working on a lead for a story and asked if she could pass the assignment off to Robertson who was doing the obits that Chloe used to be responsible for and would actually be thankful for the chance at something new - even if that opportunity came in the form of picking up a public relations packet from LuthorCorp and asking a bunch of questions that were more routine then probing.

However, her boss was adamant in his refusal and that, along with his warm welcome upon her return, made her wonder if maybe he wasn’t on Lex’s unofficial payroll. She’d almost considered pleading, but if the man was working for Lex it would do no good and if he wasn’t it would make her look weak and temperamental. And there was no way that she’d risk anymore damage to her career then it had already taken.

As she drove over to the massive LuthorCorp headquarters, procured a press badge from the front desk, and paced in the elevator as it slowly made its way up to the 32 floor which housed the PR department, she tried to convince herself that it could all be a coincidence. Even as the receptionist showed her down the hall into a small office she reminded herself that there actually was a legitimate scientific breakthrough for LuthorCorp that was receiving coverage in a number of papers and not just the Planet.

In fact, she was almost persuaded by the strength of her desperate delusions when they were all proven futile as she walked through the door to see Lex’s all too familiar figure seated behind the desk.

She was beautiful, and Lex was filled with a fierce sense of satisfaction as she walked through the door he’d been watching for the last thirty minutes.

Her expression of resigned acceptance spoke clearly of both her suspicions that he would be there and her hope that he wouldn’t. Lex knew that she’d be smart enough to see the probable deception and determined enough to come anyway. He’d counted on it.

“Chloe,” he warmly greeted as he rose. With a short nod he dismissed the receptionist who left immediately, seemingly grateful to be out from under the watchful eye of the ultimate authority at LuthorCorp. And if she thought it was odd that her boss had co-opted a small PR office to meet with a low level reporter for a simple briefing, she was smart enough not to let it show.

“Lex.”

He hid his smile at her icy tone. He’d anticipated her antagonism towards him, but it couldn’t be helped. Once he realized that she wasn’t going to respond to the blatant provocation of having someone break into her home and return the wardrobe he’d bought for her and the even greater insult of doing it a second time, he knew that he needed a more foolproof way in which to draw her out. By linking their meeting to her job, he removed her prerogative to refuse.

He didn’t really want Chloe’s hostility. He wanted the love and tenderness he’d shared with her in the two months that they’d been together. But he knew that he’d have to work for that. And rightfully so. He’d hurt terribly; wounded her soul, and he deserved to expend the Herculean effort it was going to take to win her back.

However, if it came down to a choice between her fury and the tired defeat of their last meeting then he’d take her wrath any day. Anger was its own brand of passion and, if nothing else, it could be used to keep her off balance while he buffeted her defenses from all sides.

And with that strategy in mind, he couldn’t help pushing her just a bit.

“I’ve always loved you in green.” The compliment was genuine but he still enjoyed watching her spine stiffen.

Chloe thought she might hit him. In fact she wasn’t sure why she hadn’t done it before. If this was all some twisted Luthor plot then he had it coming, and if he really did love her and was aggravating her on purpose then he deserved it even more.

But criminally violent impulses aside, Chloe was glad for her anger. She was grateful to have something to focus on besides the torrent of emotions battering against her already crumbling resistance. Concentrating on her resentment was also distracting enough to allow her to refuse to entertain the notion that she just might have subconsciously chosen the emerald silk blouse she was wearing, knowing that there was every reason to believe her assignment had been a set up.

“What are you doing here? Isn’t public relations mouthpiece a bit beneath you?”

“I happen to own the company,” he countered smoothly. “I can do whatever job I choose.”

She took a deep breath, understanding that he was goading her and refusing to dance to his tune, especially if it kept her there any longer than necessary.

“Seriously Lex,” a weariness crept into her voice, “what is this about?”

“I’m attempting to court you.”

Hearing his admission, Chloe wasn’t sure which surprised her more – that he was owning up to his deception in getting her there or that this was the best plan he could devise.

“This is your idea of courting?” She knew her incredulity coated her words as she saw a slight, self-deprecating smirk tilt his lips. And suddenly she realized that she was better off not hearing an answer to her question. In fact, letting the visit get too personal could only end in disaster for her heart, so she decided to cut things off before they went far enough to undo all the work she’d done putting herself back together.

“You know what, don’t answer that,” Chloe said. “We don’t need to go over this again; so if you’ll just give me the press packet I’ll be on my way.”

He admired her sense of self-preservation. She was professional enough come because she had to and smart enough to know to get out as quickly as she could. She was resolute and clever and a hundred other things that made her worthy of pursuit and every time that he was confronted with yet another captivating facet of her personality he wondered all over again how he could have been such a fool to overlook her for so long.

“I don’t suppose you’d let me tell you all about it over dinner?” he asked as he took his seat again and gestured for her to do the same.

Clearly reading her struggle between killing him and completing her assignment, Lex was counting on her lifelong drive to be a reporter to keep him in good health for another day. His intuition was confirmed as she dropped into the chair; the anger surrounding her almost a tangible force.

“You have to stop this, Lex. It won’t work. What you did…”

As her voice trailed off he felt sorrow overtake her previous ire and he wanted it back, preferring her near hatred to the naked grief that was testimony to how badly he’d injured her.

“What you did went beyond hurting me. And the worst thing about it is that you knew what this would do to me, how devastating it would be, and you just didn’t care.”

Although he showed no outward sign, Lex cringed inside knowing that she was right. She’d spent years feeling rejected by Clark. And even though it had turned out that her mother wasn’t with her because of illness as opposed to choice, Chloe had still grown up believing that she’d been abandoned because she just wasn’t good enough. It made what he’d done more than despicable; and it was only his absolute conviction that, given the chance, he could mend what he and others had broken, could make her truly happy, that kept him set on his course.

“I don’t understand. Even if we weren’t friends, how could you do that to me?” she demanded. “How could you make me feel special, wanted, only to teach me that, once again, I’m not really what anyone wants?”

He could see how painful it was for her to say the words; certainly knew it was painful to hear them. But though he would have loved to just move past the anguish he’d caused her, Lex knew that this needed to happen. Chloe would never come back to him without the cathartic release of her rage and fear and he would never be able to keep her if she did if he couldn’t convince her how deeply he regretted hurting her, that she could trust him with her heart once more.

“You’re wrong, Chloe. I want you. More than you could ever imagine.”

“But you didn’t plan it that way,” she cried. “You planned to use me and then leave me shattered and humiliated!”

Taking a deep breath, Chloe tried to rein in her whirling emotions. She knew what Lex was doing. He wanted her to get her pain out in the open. He believed that they could work through it. But she didn’t want any part of his plan. She wanted to keep her pain, hold it tight and nurture it. She was afraid that if she ever let go of the dull ache in her heart then she’d end up making the same stupid choices, loving the same stupid kind of men, over and over again.

“Lex, you have to stop this. It won’t work.”

“Why?” He finally asked the question that had consumed him since their last meeting. “Because you don’t trust me or you don’t trust yourself?”

He knew he’d hit a nerve as Chloe glossed over the reference to herself and focused solely on him.

“You can’t possibly be suggesting that you’re trustworthy?”

Lex knew that eventually they would have to discuss his obsession with learning Clark’s secret. And while he’d hoped that their conversation would revolve around the two of them, he wasn’t foolish enough to pretend that Clark Kent wasn’t a part of what was standing between them.

“No matter how things ended, you’re correct that in the beginning it was about Clark,” he acknowledged. “And if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll admit that my questions and concerns are warranted.”

Chloe opened her mouth to deny it, but he didn’t even let her begin. “Do you really think that I haven’t noticed that somehow all the weirdness that occurs in Smallville – and we are not speaking of an insignificant amount – leads back to Clark Kent?”

He watched her carefully, but unlike circumstances involving only herself, no emotion crossed her face. And as frustrating as it was, Lex could only love her more for the amazing loyalty of which she was capable.

“You know Clark, Lex. Whatever troubles the two of you might have, you know that he’s a good person.”

“For the most part I’d agree with you,” Lex conceded. “But all of the extreme secrecy and Clark’s uncanny knack of being in the middle of every crisis, even if it’s to resolve it, leads me to believe that there’s something special about him. Something beyond being a run of the mill meteor freak.”

Ignoring the absurdity of his last statement, Lex pressed on. “He’s an enigma; impossible to understand or explain; but I know that whatever it is that allows him to always play the hero can just as easily make him a formidable enemy.”

“He wouldn’t–”

“He wouldn’t what, Chloe? He wouldn’t practically assault you in Metropolis? He wouldn’t spend that very summer engaged in some rather dubious behavior?” Seeing the barely perceptible look of shock cross her face, Lex drove home his point. “I know more about Clark than the two of you think, and though he may be the salt of the earth most of the time, he has a history of erratic behavior. And a man who can be hit head on with a Porsche and walk away without a scratch, who seems to be able to practically materialize in an instant when there’s a need, who has defeated more of the mutated members of Smallville’s community than I’m sure I’ll ever have knowledge of, can’t afford to go unmonitored.”

“And you think you’re any better?” She shot back. “Am I supposed to ignore the power that comes with your multi-national conglomerate and billions of dollars? You lie and steal and kidnap women with head injuries and you think other people need monitoring?!”

A harsh laughter filled the air.

“You, as a reporter, should know better than most the scrutiny under which I live. And while it’s true that it might not moderate all of my behavior, it must serve some purpose because I’ve never heard you championing my complete and utter right to privacy the way that you do Clark’s.”

And she realized that he had a point. A valid point. A point that she would ponder later when she wasn’t so swamped the conflicting emotions that grew with every encounter with him.

“Chloe, I understand that you trust Clark. And I’m not trying to convince you that you’re wrong.”

And she could see that he wasn’t. But she knew that wasn’t all there was. “But?”

“But you can’t expect that everyone is going to let you make that decision for them. I might be willing to let this go, but that’s not because I think I’m wrong, Chloe. It’s because I love you.”

She closed her eyes, trying to deny the sincerity of his declaration; but she knew better than to expect him not to push an advantage.

“And you love me, too.”

Her eyes flew open and collided with his, and his unwavering confidence was as freeing as it was frightening. It was almost a relief to not have to pretend that her heart was steel and unmoved by him. But neither her love nor his awareness of it could deny the immutable truth –

“When have I ever loved wisely?”

He thought he’d reached the depth of pain possible for the woman before him; but something in the hollow resignation of her words stripped another piece of his heart away and he grieved the loss even as he embraced his penance.

“Clark.” It wasn’t a question. Lex had watched for years as Chloe loved Clark and Clark loved Lana.

“You can’t possibly know how many times I threw myself at him. I guess subtlety never has been my strong suit.”

“He’s a fool.”

And this time it was her empty laugh that sounded. “Aren’t we all?”

Lex leaned forward, wishing the desk wasn’t between them but knowing that it was necessary. She wasn’t ready to be touched and he couldn’t seem to help himself when she was within arm’s length.

“I know that I did was horrible; beyond unconscionable. I also know that I’ve never regretted anything more in my life.”

She was listening. Whether she believed him or not he couldn’t tell, but he couldn’t afford to let the opportunity pass.

“I was so angry. At Clark who’d been my friend but lied to me constantly. At the narrow-minded people of Smallville who took my help when they needed it and then judged me as the spawn of Satan. At the fate in general for making me a Luthor and letting people believe that it was some kind of privilege.

“I let the pain of so much rejection and the rage at so much betrayal control me. And by the time my mind had cleared enough to see what was right in front of me, I was in so deep that I didn’t know how to get back out without losing everything.”

Chloe reeled as Lex’s words took her back five years to a moment when a younger, bitter, far more naive version of herself let those very same feelings push her into a deal with the devil. She’d been lucky to get a second chance and she’d worked hard to be worthy of it, but Chloe knew that she never would have survived to see it without Lex’s help.

Stunned by a perspective shift that threatened to change everything, Chloe stood, almost overturning her chair. Seeing Lex rise, too, concern obvious in his expression, she shook her head wildly as she backed slowly towards the door.

“No. Don’t. I just need,” she wasn’t entirely sure what she needed, so she went with the only thing that would help, “time. I need time to think.”

Lex was no fool. Something that he’d said to her had shaken her; badly. It went against every instinct he possessed not to force the matter, to press his advantage before she could rally her defenses once more. But taking away her control was what had landed them there in the first place and he knew that she had to have some power in their relationship if there was any hope of rebuilding it.

“Of course,” he agreed. “Whatever you need.”

“I mean it, Lex,” she warned him. “No stalking, no breaking into my apartment, no manipulating my assignments.”

His jaw clenched. He didn’t like the stipulations; didn’t like the inherent weakness in allowing someone else to make the first move.

“All right.”

As he watched her turn and go, Lex pondered the wisdom of his decision. If Chloe was sincere then he’d just made major inroads towards a reconciliation between them. And if this was nothing more than a diversionary tactic on her part…well his original plans were all still in place.


TBC