More Than Friends

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Kaylee did her best to concentrate on the parts she was wirin’, but it was mighty hard when there was a six foot four somethin’ she’d rather be concentratin’ on only a few feet away from her. She snuck looks at him, unable to keep the damn fool smile from her face every time she glanced over to see him frownin’ in concentration…the tip of his tongue was stickin’ out his teeth and it were simply the cutest thing she’d ever seen. He was mutterin’ to himself as well, desperate to prove he was a good helper by fixin’ a short in the access panel. “Red is auxiliary…no, auxiliary’s s’posed to be blue …or was it green? Naw, think it’s blue. This goes here …” She walked closer to watch as he found the problem and rewrapped the wires like she’d shown him; Jayne took a deep breath as he carefully stretched a hand out to flip the switch that would redirect power through the panel…when nothin’ happened he exhaled in frustration and was about to reach for the wires again when the green light on the indicator came on. He twisted about to look up at her, the smile she so loved to see spreadin’ across his face. “You see that? That was me, I fixed that,” he boasted, puffin’ up his chest.

“You sure did, bao bei.” She smiled at him proudly as he rose to his feet and stretched.

Jayne crossed over to her in two big strides, towerin’ over her. “Got anything else that needs fixin’?” he asked suggestively. “I still got the right tools for whatever job needs doin’.” He caught her hand and started to guide it to his crotch when Wash popped his head in the door.

“Hey, time to –oh, for God’s sake. Don’t you kids have a bunk or two to do that in?”

Kaylee giggled and laced her fingers through her man’s, turnin’ to face the pilot. “Where’s the fun in goin’ where it’s expected? I seen you and Zoë once…”

“Point taken,” Wash said hastily. “Time for dinner.”

“Who cooked it?” Jayne asked suspiciously.

“I did.”

“Oh, lord – last time you cooked that meant we just got ration packs on plates,” Kaylee sighed.

“Hey!” Wash’s face turned red. “Don’t forget about the napkins I folded into swans!”


_ _ _ _ _ _


Mal eyed his crew as he sat down at the table. Jayne and Kaylee had teamed up for dinner and made a real meal instead of the ration packs he’d seen arranged neatly on the table. He was still getting used to the idea of the two of ‘em pairing off like they had, but they did seem to suit each other. They hadn’t had any fights yet – wouldn’t be a long time coming with Jayne the way he was, that much was sure. Kaylee was smilin’ more than ever, which was saying a lot…and he’d even seen some smiles on Jayne’s face as well; that meant more to him because if the merc was even slightly happy, Jayne wouldn’t be challenging him on so many issues. Serenity would run a lot smoother with those two caught up in each other, he decided with a smile of his own for Kaylee as she set a plate in front of him. Then again…maybe not. His mechanic lowered herself into her seat gingerly, scooting to the edge with a wince. “Mercy, Jayne – told ya you’re too big,” she commented. “I ain’t gonna be able ta sit proper for weeks.”

“Can’t help how I was made.”

Mal pushed his plate away, no longer hungry.

“Hey, you gonna eat that?”


_ _ _ _ _ _


Havin’ Kaylee in his life and in his arms was a blessing and there weren’t no mistakin’ it…the past few weeks with her were like somethin’ from a dream, but it made him wonder what would happen when and if he woke up from it. Maybe it were just plain superstitious go se, but he was gettin’ bothered at not havin’ the words said between them. Every time he felt like sayin’ it, somethin’ always happened to stop the words from comin’ out – oh, he felt it and was sure she did too…but his momma’d always told him to be honest with the one he was with. He weren’t sure what was stoppin’ him from speaking on what he felt for Kaylee and didn’t even want to think about whatever it was that kept her from tellin’ him how she felt. Lately he’d been wakin’ up from dreams of her leavin’ him for Simon, and though he tried to forget ‘em they kept creepin’ back into his head whenever he saw her talkin’ to the doctor.

Doc.

He’d seen Doc lookin’ at her an awful lot lately – lookin’ at her and then lookin’ at him, like he knew somethin’ Jayne didn’t. Weren’t no one in the ‘verse he could talk to about it, either…well, exceptin’ Mattie. But Mattie weren’t here now, and he didn’t know what to do. Jayne was careful to stay as far away from Simon as he could, not talkin’ to him more’n he had to because he knew somethin’ violent might happen. Mal made it clear to him that he wouldn’t tolerate any more attempts to turn Doc and River out and he knew he’d be spaced for gorram sure if’n he laid so much as a finger on the other man. And ruttin’ hell, was he tempted to lay all ten on the boy.

Whole thing was a gorram mess he could only forget about when they were lovin’ each other. Jayne looked down at the tiny woman who was curled up against him and snorin’ on his chest, fightin’ back the panic at the thought that she might not want him anymore. He tried his best to relax, but his stomach was in knots…if only she’d wake up things might not seem so bad. Wake up, xin gan. Wake up an’ tell me I got nothin’ to worry about, he silently begged. Kaylee just slept on and after turnin’ over to try to get comfortable Jayne closed his eyes, tryin’ not to think of it. After what seemed like hours, he fell asleep and woke later to her kiss. “You’re lookin’ a bit rough today – bad night?” she asked cheerfully, givin’ him that smile that always made him feel like everything was right in the ‘verse.

“Bad dreams,” was all he had time to say before she cuddled up and started kissin’ on him so he just about forgot his own name. All thoughts of his uncertainty and worry were shoved right out his head when she snuck a little hand down to wrap her fingers around him. All that he could think about was how nice it felt to have her lickin’ her way down his chest and stomach, loudly praisin’ every part she kissed. She always seemed to know just how to touch him, and his eyes drifted shut in pleasure as her tongue flicked over the tip of his diao before she set her lips to him and started to suck. “ Wuo de ma, Kaylee…you’re ruttin’ lingren jingyi, ha wo deh bang, ahhhh…” He encouraged her by workin’ his fingers into her hair and guidin’ her head up and down over him, groanin’ her name when he got close.

Jayne rolled her onto her back and buried himself inside her wet heat, growlin’ gut deep with each in-thrust while she grabbed at his back and wailed out her appreciation. “ Cao, Jayne, I – I – I’m gonna…” she screamed her climax into his neck as he gave it to her hard, just how she liked it. His eyes nearly rolled back in his head at the feelin’ of her clamping down on him and he rose up on his arms to piston into her until he came with a loud groan, shovin’ forward and rubbin’ against her when he felt her tiny hands pullin’ at his hips. “ Ai ya, qin ai de , you’ve sure got a gift for ruttin’,” she sighed happily up at him. He smoothed his hands over her, feelin’ no small amount of pride at the way she was shiverin’ on account of him – after he’d gotten both of ‘em cleaned off some he came back to the bed to curl around her. They drifted off together, only awakened by the sound of Mal’s irate voice over the comm; Kaylee giggled when he told the captain off in the rudest terms he knew even as he was tuggin’ his clothes on. “Just tell him you didn’t forget ‘bout the job at all,” she advised. “You was just gettin’ your strength up for the liftin’ he’s bound to have ya do.”

He laughed as he knelt to lace his boots. “Think that’ll work? Maybe I’ll just tell him to go t’hell so both of us can just stay here an’ zuo ai.”

Kaylee skipped past him, dartin’ away as he reached out a hand to swat her bare pi gu. “He’ll just threaten to leave us dirtside, but you’d best get up there afore he gets so mad he comes down here. I’ll be late for helpin’ Simon with the – somethin’ wrong, bao bei?”

Why’d she have to say that name? He looked away, actin’ like he was searchin’ for his gear. “No, nothin’ at all. Why should somethin’ be wrong? Is somethin’ supposed to be wrong?” He knew he was talkin’ too fast and bit back the question that welled up, beggin’ to be asked. “Can’t find my gloves,” he added, as if that were a good explanation.

The small frown that was on her face eased slightly. “Didja check your pockets? You put ‘em there sometimes.”

Jayne made a small show of lookin’ for ‘em while she got dressed. “No, they ain’t here – wait, I found ‘em.” He pulled them from his battered tan coat (right where he’d known they were) and held them up. Before he knew he was gonna say it, it slipped on out. “So, you an’ the doc are gettin’ along real good these days.”

She gave him another of those looks, like she didn’t quite know what he was up to. “Well, a’course we are. Jayne, what-”

Jayne cleared his throat loudly and looked down at his boots. “Look, I gotta go tie the cargo down or Mal’s gonna have my hide.”

“Well, we can have somethin’ ta eat together. We ain’t landin’ for three more hours anyhow.”

He backed away from the hand she stretched out to him. “I gotta go – I ain’t hungry.” He didn’t see her hurt expression when he turned his back to her and climbed up the ladder.

_ _ _ _ _ _


Somethin’ was going on, and she was gonna find out just what it was…that was assumin’ she could pin her man down for some questions. For someone so big, he was remarkably hard to find on a ship the size of theirs. He’d been actin’ a mite strange for a while now, though this was the first time Jayne actually brushed her off – she didn’t know why he didn’t seem to want her to touch him. Hadn’t they been havin’ fun earlier? Maybe it was somethin’ she’d done in bunk that made him angry at her… she tried to remember what all they’d done durin’ their mornin’ tussle, but still couldn’t figure it out. She checked the entry codes, tinkered with the engine, and kept stickin’ her head out to look for Jayne who didn’t seem to want to be found. Maybe it’s because I ain’t never told him I love him. The thought startled her into droppin’ a wrench on her toes and she hopped about on one foot, swearin’ at the pain. Though it ain’t like he’s exactly tellin’ me how he feels. Thought that weren’t really true – she know he loved her ‘cause he’d said so, and out loud, too. He just didn’t know she’d been awake when he said it.

Kaylee plopped down into her hammock to rest her foot, thinkin’ back to where it’d gone wrong… and nearly fell back out again when she remembered. She’d said somethin’ ‘bout Simon when he’d gotten all strange with her. I musta been wanquan yuchun to mention him…he probably thinks that I still … How dare he think that she an’ Simon were…? And right after they’d been lovin’, too! She leaped out of the hammock angrily, intendin’ to find Jayne and give him a piece of her mind. “ Nifeng le, Jayne Cobb,” she muttered as she stomped off to find him.

“Kaylee, you got those entry codes?” Mal called to her from the bridge, stoppin’ her right when she caught a glimpse of Jayne for the first time in nearly three hours.

“Cap’n, everything’s shiny – don’t worry.” Wash cornered her about somethin’ next and she lost sight of the merc as he went down into the cargo bay. Then she was needed in the engine room as they landed…and when she finally got free to hunt her man down, he finally had a real reason to be too busy for talkin’ to her. “Hey, I gotta talk to you,” she protested.

The big man didn’t even spare her a glance as he lifted a heavy ammo case onto the Mule. “And I gotta work, so I wonder what I’ll end up doin’.” She drew in a quick, hurt breath at his tone of voice and reached out for him.

“Jayne! Get that cargo loaded up so we can get us some cashy money,” Mal warned from the catwalk as he followed Zoë on down. “Kaylee, you let the man work and get the medicine lists from Simon.” Kaylee could have screamed in frustration when she saw Jayne’s closed-off expression as she turned to obey the captain, but made a promise to herself that she’d corner the big xiangbalao soon as the job was finished an’ he came back aboard.


_ _ _ _ _


With the goods delivered and his cut of the pay in his pocket, Jayne wandered through the streets aimlessly when Mal cut him loose. Normally he’d try to find somethin’ for Kaylee because the girl loved any kind of surprise gift – he’d seen her nearly go spare over a rusty old pile of bolts once – but just thinkin’ about her made his stomach feel like it was tied in knots. He found his way to one of the local waterin’ holes and eased onto a stool, signalin’ for a drink and sippin’ the rotgut as he thought on her for what seemed like the millionth time that morning. If Kaylee decided she didn’t want him no more, weren’t none of her own fault – it’d only be his for not lovin’ her proper. Simon was far more fancy than he’d ever be; fancy manners, fancy clothes, fancy talk and more besides. He’d seen time and again how she liked that sorta thing, so maybe he was just kiddin’ himself that she was hangin’ around for more than just the sexin’.

Jayne slammed the empty glass down on the weathered and scarred wood in frustration. Gorrammit, but he loved that girl more’n he loved his own life. He’d waited and waited for just a single chance to show her that he could be good for her, and now he’d messed it up somehow. Someone sat down beside him as he tossed back another shot and tapped the glass on the bar in a silent demand for another, and he glanced over as the newcomer laughed suddenly. “Somethin’ bugging you, boy?”

He recognized the voice as Monty’s, and turned to greet the burly man. “You could say that – how you been, ya ugly bastard? See you got that beard back.” The two man exchanged insults and boasts before discussing current jobs.

“Mal still payin’ you? You ever need a real job, you come find me – always got a place for a big dumb ox such as yourself,” Monty offered.

“I ain’t that desperate…listen, I’ll be seein’ you around; got me some business needs attendin’ to.”

Monty winked knowingly. “I’m sure you do, boy.” His leer made it obvious that he was thinkin’ Jayne was after some paid tail, but Jayne didn’t tell him different. He left the old pirate behind after tossin’ some notes on the bar and made his way back to Serenity – first thing he’d do would be to find Kaylee and have a talk with her. It was past time he told her how he really felt, and far past time to hear how she felt about him…he walked faster, hopin’ the liquid courage would stay with him long enough to get to her.


_ _ _ _ _


Kaylee picked through the drawer of medical equipment idly as Simon finished writin’ down the list of medicines he needed Mal to buy. Every so often she’d look up at him, studyin’ his face – it were true that Simon was good lookin’, and she’d always thought so. Prob’ly always would think so. But he weren’t the one she wanted anymore…there was just somethin’ about big, swai Jayne that caused her to feel shudders runnin’ up and down her skin whenever she thought of him, and she’d never really felt that way ‘bout Simon. It was almost like Jayne had been made just for her; whenever she wanted to try somethin’ new he was always up for it, no matter what it was. They got the same jokes, could talk about anything – even ‘bout the engine sometimes now he was learnin’ from her.

It hurt that he thought she might be thinkin’ to turn back to Simon; why anyone would trade up Jayne Cobb was a mystery to her. Maybe it was time to just swallow her pride and come on out to tell him how she felt ‘bout him, because she loved him more than anything in the ‘verse. But she weren’t blind; Kaylee’d seen the way Simon was lookin’ at her these days, ‘specially when she’d come up from Jayne’s bunk all flushed with her wenshen’s lovin’. Maybe he was regrettin’ that they’d ended their fling and wanted another chance…not like it’d ever happen; she thought of Simon more as a brother now but if she’d noticed how Simon was lookin’ at her, that meant that Jayne had, too. So she figured that she needed to tackle this head-on at the source afore she made things right with her man.

“Simon? Need ta ask you somethin’.”

He looked up, still a mite distracted. “Yes?”

“Might seem weird an’ all, but I gotta ask…you don’t think that we – you and me, I mean – still got a chance together, do ya?”

Simon sighed and set down his notepad. “Kaylee, I…well, no but…” he looked at the floor and back up at her, clearin’ his throat and colorin’ up. “No, it’s just that, um, I see how happy you are with…with him, and I guess…I wish I’d been able to put that smile on your face.”

Kaylee blinked in surprise. “Oh.”

_ _ _ _ _


Jayne reached the landing field, silently rehearsin’ in his head what he’d say to her – maybe they could even spend the night off the ship so he could take her out somewhere nice. She’d like that. Only if’n she ain’t picked Doc over you … He shook his head to clear it of the unwelcome thought. Why would she ever pick Fancy Pants over a man like him? He trotted up the ramp, noddin’ to Zoë as he passed the tall woman on his way to the engine room. Jayne poked his head in the door and called out for her, but she weren’t there. Weren’t in her bunk or his, either. Galley was empty, so was the guest quarters. That left only one place, if’n she hadn’t left the ship…


_ _ _ _ _


Simon moved closer to her. “Would you ever give me a second chance, if I asked?”

She reached out and put her hand on his cheek. “Look, Simon. We was together for a bit and it was nice – but I’m with Jayne now an’ I love him. Think it’s best if’n we’re just friends.” Kaylee tried hard to think about how she could convince him, and hit on somethin’ she was sure would work. “I don’t rightly think you’re serious ‘bout that, an’ I’ll prove it – I bet if we kissed right now you wouldn’t feel a thing.”

“You would…let me kiss you?”

“Just this once, ‘cause I know it won’t mean nothin’. Ain’t no other way I can prove that we’re not good together no more,” she said thoughtfully. “Just once on the lips, mind.”

He began to lean in closer, closin’ his eyes.


_ _ _ _ _ _

Jayne took the steps to the infirmary two at a time, tryin’ to convince himself that there weren’t nothin’ in the ‘verse to be worried over. Maybe she just hurt herself or somethin’, an’ needed to visit Simon. He came around the corner and was about to step inside the room when he looked up. No. Wode tian, no. I ain’t seein’ this, I just ain’t. But he was, and his mouth worked soundlessly as he tried to tear his eyes from the sight in front of him. Kaylee. And Simon.

He backed away silently, waitin’ until he got back to the ladder to break into a run that got him out of there and back to his bunk. Jayne couldn’t even remember his own code and after pressin’ in some numbers that didn’t work, leaned his forehead against the bulkhead and tried not to sick up right there in the corridor. He didn’t even realize he was shakin’ as bad as he was until a hand touched his arm and he lashed out blindly. “Jayne?” Inara’s startled voice forced him to turn and try to apologize for strikin’ at her. Whatever she saw on his face was enough for her to go pale. “Jayne?” Her voice was softer some, like she knew what was goin’ on an’ didn’t mind that he’d almost hit her.

“I just don’t feel good,” he muttered, lookin’ everywhere but at her. “Sorry ‘bout smackin’ at ya.”

“Jayne.” Like he didn’t know his own name or somethin’. Like she could understand.

He moved away from her sharply as she reached out a hand for him again. “Don’t ruttin’ touch me,” he snarled. “You ain’t got no idea what it’s like.” The anger cleared his head long enough for him to remember the code for his bunk and he punched it in, slidin’ down the ladder and closin’ the hatch in Inara’s face.

He had some packin’ to do.


_ _ _ _ _

Kaylee pulled back from Simon and opened her eyes. “Nope, didn’t feel nothin’….you?” Simon looked sick, and confessed that it had been like kissing River. “See? Told ya. Oh, I gotta get back up to wait for Jayne…don’t tell him I kissed ya or nothin’, would you? He might take it wrong.” He agreed and turned back to makin’ the med list as she skipped up the stairs. Time to find Jayne and tell him somethin’ that was long overdue to be said.

Inara was standin’ in front of Jayne’s bunk hatch for some reason, lookin’ mightily odd. “What’s goin’ on, ‘Nara?” she asked cheerfully, reachin’ to push in the door.

“I wouldn’t go down there if I were you, mei mei. He’s…pretty upset at the moment.”

“Guess the job didn’t go good. I got somethin’ to tell him that’ll put him in a better mood, so don’t worry – he’ll be smilin’ in no time,” Kaylee winked.

Inara stopped her again. “ Mei mei...he knows, I could tell that he’d seen something upsetting when he came up the stairs.”

Kaylee’s brow furrowed. “Up the stairs? What was he doin’ up the – oh, no. No. Oh, Lord, no. He saw me an’ Simon…. go se. I gotta fix this.” She opened the bunk and went down the ladder, ice formin’ in her stomach.

“You sure got some nerve to come down here,” was the first thing Jayne said to her as she closed the hatch. She turned to see his normally tidy bunk in a mess – and were those duffles she saw packed with his gear?

“Baby, you don’t understand… that weren’t what it looked like.”

“What the fuck was it, then?” She stumbled backwards in shock from the anger in his voice as well as the fact that he’d used the vulgar English instead of the common Mandarin they were all used to usin’ whenever they were cussin’. “You figured out you don’t want me no more, that’s fuckin’ shiny, Kaylee – but don’t wait til I’m gone and make sure I find you with him. That ain’t right an’ you know it,” he hissed at her.

Tears began slidin’ down her face as she tried to make him understand. “Just let me explain!”

“Start explainin’, then.” Jayne turned away from her, continuin’ to pack his gear as she haltingly explained what had happened in the med bay. He did pause thoughtfully for a few moments after she’d told him all the ways she could that she loved him, and his shoulders slumped slightly when she fell silent, chokin’ on her tears. “I’m thinkin’ it’s a bit too late for that now, Kaylee.”

“What? No, it ain’t – ain’t never too late,” she blurted out, reachin’ for him. “I wish I’d told ya long ago, Jayne…but I love you an’ no one else – you gotta believe me.”

He turned to face her and sat on the bed, takin’ her hands in his big ones. “Look, Kaylee… I’ve waited an’ waited for my turn, bein’ all kinds of patient even when it near killed me to be. I ain’t never loved a woman as much as I love you, but I’ve made mistake after mistake in my life, rushin’ into things ‘thout condsiderin’ consequences.”

Kaylee felt the blood drain from her face, watchin’ his face intently. “Don’t do this,” she whispered.

His fingers tightened around hers slightly. “I’m thinkin’ that I’ve got to, Kaylee. I spent so much time heart-sore an’ when I finally got you, it just…” He swallowed and looked down at their linked fingers. “I can’t take it no more, much as I love you. I need time away to think about things and clear my head.”

“No you don’t,” she sobbed, tears fallin’ fast now. “Don’t go.”

Jayne looked up at her from his perch on the edge of the bed, and she saw the gleam of tears in his eyes. “I need time, Kaylee. If’n you find someone new, I won’t hold it against you none.”


_ _ _ _ _


Mal stretched out his hand, and Jayne shook it readily enough. “You got a berth?” he questioned.

The big man nodded. “Yeah, I’m set.”

“Won’t lie that it stings like hell to lose you…’course the galley supplies will be safer with you gone, but…” the captain glanced over to where Kaylee shifted from foot to foot, rubbing at her tear-streaked face. “What about you and Kaylee?”

“I reckon that’s between me an’ Kaylee.”

Mal nodded. “Right.”

The two men studied each other for a moment as Inara, Zoë, Wash, and River came to the edge of the ramp to join them. “Look, I appreciate everythin’ you done for me, Mal,” Jayne said awkwardly. “I just can’t stay here no more.”

“Anytime you decide you want to come back, you-”

“Yeah. I’ll keep that in mind.”

Then there were farewells to be said and River surprised all of them by flinging herself into Jayne’s arms, threatening the merc with severe reprisals if he didn’t come back to them. Simon was noticeably absent, but then they’d all found out what had happened. He watched Jayne walk down the ramp, thinking on how much the man had changed since the first time he’d walked up it. Kaylee made a small, strangled sound as Jayne stepped off onto the dirt and the big man turned to look back up at her, eyes full of pain before he turned away and walked off. The sound of the little mechanic’s sobs tore at Mal’s heart and he felt like going to her but when he turned he saw that Inara had already done so, folding the younger woman in her arms to offer her comfort.

Even Wash was silent as he pressed the button that closed the ramp, and Zoë walked up to him slowly. “So, are we lookin’ for a new hired gun?”

Mal sighed, wishing there were some way he could block out the sight of Kaylee’s distraught face. “Let’s leave it a while. He might reconsider before nightfall.”


_ _ _ _ _


Monty looked up in surprise as a shadow fell across his path. “I’ll take that job,” Jayne said shortly. Upon closer inspection of the other man’s face, Monty decided not to question him.

“Get your gear stowed – we push off at 18:30.”

“Sure thing…Captain.”


tbc…
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