A Prank Too Far

A/N: I really enjoyed writing this chapter. I was just musing about how Cuddy must be really good at her job to have gotten to be where she is as young as she is (for the purposes of my fanfictions she’s the same age as Lisa Edelstein, that would be thirty eight to you and me).



So it got me to thinking, you only ever see Cuddy at work when House is there to steal the show and try and make a full of her (let’s be honest, he succeeds most of the time). Anyways, here’s a scene that shows the real kind of power that Cuddy’s got. I enjoyed writing it and I hope y’all enjoy reading it.



Um, I hate plot bunnies. The little bastard won’t leave me alone! I’m trying to finish working on the nine (yah NINE fanfictions) that I’m already working on but these fuzzy little fuckers keep hopping up and going; WRIE ME!! and then they maul you.



Umm…planning on writing a story that is kind of the novel version of the ‘Seven Days of Smut: Wedded Wednesday but not before I’ve at least finished ‘Temporary Insanity’.



On another note, also planning a CSI fic that is of the Grillows persuasion. So if anybody knows a few good Catherine/Grissom fics would y’all please tell me what they are.



Purely for research purposes.



Anyways, enough ranting and on with the show!



Read and review me goddamnit!



Chapter 11: Working It Out





“Remind me again why I am doing this.” Tawny grumbled as she stood behind Cuddy’s desk and accepted yet another form to sign from the apparently useless bunch that inhabited the hospital of Princeton-Plainsboro. Wilson looked over at her with a wry kind of grin. “Dr Cuddy has all these people and it seems not one of them can act on their own initiative.” Tawny scowled and threw herself down into the seat behind the desk.



“Hospital policy, all roads lead back to the dean.”



Tawny snorted and muttered something uncomplimentary about that in French. She flicked her wrist and looked down at the silver watch secured there. “I could still be in bed.” She told him and Wilson blinked. “I like my sleep.” She defended herself and Wilson tilted his head and shrugged.



“You did offer…technically. Is Cuddy really all right?”



Tawny nodded smoothly. “Her blood tests all came back as expected. She should start to get better now.”



“Someone is with her?” Wilson asked and he didn’t know Tawny well enough to pick up on the barest hesitation between her next words.



“Someone took her home.” House had instructed her to keep his involvement with Cuddy on the ‘down low’, Tawny assumed that meant she used discretion in who she shared the information with but she had been wrong before.



“What’s actually wrong with her?”



Tawny shrugged and hedged expertly. “Mild case of poisoning it’s just a matter of bed rest and…working it out of her system.” Tawny managed not to smirk at the double meaning of her words but she ducked her head to look down at the from in front of her when Wilson looked at her oddly. Schooling her features back into a controlled composition, she looked back up at him and asked brightly. “What’s next on our agenda?”



“Meeting with the board, I’ll be able to field most of their grievances since they’ll nearly all be about House.” Wilson picked up the itinerary for the meeting and flipped through it. “I think they want to try and renegotiate his legal expenses, free up some more funding for the paediatrics ward.”



Tawny snapped her fingers and gestured towards the paper. Wilson frowned and handed it over when he realised this was her way of asking for the paper politely. Tawny arched a brow behind her glasses (yellow lens red frames ones today) which matched her gold silk shirt and blood red pantsuit. She scraped a nail absently over her lower lip as she read the document and then tossed it away with a huff of disgust. “I haven’t even met them yet and I don’t want to talk with them.”



Wilson nodded on a soft chuckle. “I’ll handle most of it. Just you sit there and…” Wilson trailed off at the imperious red eyebrow that was arched at him. He cleared his throat. “Sit there and look intimidating.”



Tawny allowed herself a smirk. “I majored in intimidating.”



Wilson watched her sit back and fold her hands behind the neat knot of hair at her nape. A grin like a tiger swiping its tongue over its lips pulled at her full mouth and Wilson’s brows rose a fraction. He had no problem believing that she had.





~$$~





Cuddy hummed in her sleep and rolled over. Her arm followed her and slapped down onto something warm and firm. Something warm and firm and smooth. Something warm, firm, smooth and…alive.



She shot upright and flashed open her sea green eyes in a mild panic. She shoved dark hair frantically out of her eyes and ignored the sharp tug in the back of her hand as she gaped down at the long lean frame of her colleague. Her subordinate.



Her lover.



“Oh God.”



House smirked and folded his hands behind his head with a feline grin of pleasure. “You can call me Greg.” He informed her and she scooted backwards across the bed, dragging the sheet with her. He was naked. Completely buck naked and the sheet flipped down to reveal…ohmygod! She’d forgotten how large he was. Cuddy gaped for a moment, torn between relinquishing the sheet and covering him or leaving him naked and putting some seriously needed distance between them. She opted for both by slapping the sheet higher over his hips eliciting a small grunt of discomfort from him and practically leapt from the bed and diving for the nearest item of clothing. Which happened to be his sky blue shirt. She hauled it on over her shoulders, pulling out the IV hastily while doing so and buttoned it with shaking fingers.



“Oh, we’re going to have one of those morning afters.” He said, sounding faintly amused and annoyed at the same time.



She whirled on him, confused and angry. She hadn’t asked for this. She didn’t like being out of control. She didn’t want to be out of control with him especially. “Well, since you’re so desperate to avoid it, why don’t you just leave? The doors right there.” She pointed at it and swallowed hard, suddenly fighting back tears. God damn it. She hated being like this. She didn’t even feel like her body was her own anymore. “I’m not one of your ‘distractions’, House…”



“Damn right you’re not!” He rolled off the bed and surged to his feet, ignoring the spasm his leg gave and stood chest to chest with her. “You’re not like anyone I’ve ever had before and it’s seriously beginning to fuck with my head!” He snapped at her and she blinked.



“I…what?” That had sounded almost like a compliment. Surely that was impossible though, this was House she was talking to.



“Don’t get pissy with me just because you don’t know how to deal with this.” He gestured emphatically between them. “Because I don’t know any better than you do.” He looked angry at the knowledge, livid at the admission and a bit confused as to why he had said it out loud.



“Oh.” She said, it seemed to be the only thing that fitted that outburst. “That’s…” She smiled at him, not even questioning the rollercoaster her hormones was taking her on this morning as tears filled her eyes again but for an entirely different reason. “That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”



He opened his mouth to issue a sharp retort and promptly had it die on his tongue at her words. “Well…don’t get used to it.” He finally muttered.



Silence echoed between them and Cuddy fidgeted with the hem of his shirt as he stood there watching her.



“Do you want breakfast?” She asked suddenly and he blinked down at her. This was absurd. He was standing naked in her bedroom confessing his confusion. She was wearing his shirt and looking so good in it that he never wanted her out of it again (unless it was to be replaced with his arms around her) and she was offering him food. His stomach growled and he felt a small smile tug his lips.



“Sure. Why not?”



Her answering smile was worth the absurdity.





~$$~





Tawny sat slouched over the boardroom table and stared at the fellow members around her. Her head was canted to lean on one hand pulling her eyebrow in a permanently disapproving arch and she was near sleeping with boredom. These people never shut up. How did Cuddy stand it? All they ever did was waffle about fundraisers and House’s misbehaviour. It obviously had never occurred to them that if the man hadn’t changed by now then he wasn’t going to. Always the same people as well, she hadn’t been paying attention when Wilson had introduced them and had been reduced to naming them Toady and Gawp for reasons that were fairly obvious when confronted with the amphibian-squat features of Toady and the oversized staring eyes of Gawp.



“Are we boring you, Dr McQueen?” Toady demanded out of his wide flat mouth and Tawny’s elbow grated against the table as she turned with exaggerated care to look at the man.



“More than you can possibly imagine.” She said with a flat monotone to indicate a small fraction of the absolute apathy of her attitude.



He gaped at her and, for a moment, he bore a striking resemblance to Gawp.



She jack-knifed up into a straight backed position and clapped her hands together as if she were about to address a group of pre-schoolers. “I have an idea, why don’t we talk about something other than Dr House? I feel that there may be more important things to discuss pertaining to the running of a hospital, no?”



“No.” Gawp stated flatly and Tawny’s enthusiasm died. She slouched back over the desk and planted her brow back on her hand.



“Wake me when you become interesting.” She murmured, boredom not improving her attitude.



“The man’s a loose cannon and the only reason he’s still employed here has become patently obvious in the last few days.” Toady raised his thin nearly non-existent eyebrows at Tawny as if expecting her to suddenly become fascinated in his pallid visage.



Tawny sighed. It looked like there was no avoiding it. “Enlighten me to your wisdom.” She requested drolly with a roll of her hand on her wrist.



“Well, I think his relationship with doctor Cuddy should be taken into account when judging his disciplinary action.” Gawp said slowly like he had practiced the words in the mirror that morning.



“You think?” Tawny asked archly and Wilson made frantic eyebrow gestures trying to get her to be more polite but she ignored him, her patience wearing thin.



“Yes I do.”



“I must admit that I’m surprised.” Tawny had turned to stare directly at Gawp now.



“You think that their personal relationship would have no bearing on their working relationship?” Gawp made it sound like she was mentally deficient if this was so.



“Well, no, I don’t. I was referring to my surprise that you were actually capable of thought. However,” She stated loudly over his gasp of outrage. “While your partner may judge the parameters of your relationship judging on how well you do at work, I’m almost certain that the rest of the world does not share your personal problems.” She stated coolly. She couldn’t stand this bullshit about personal relationships interfering with business as usual. It was one of the reasons she had left the Regiment.



Gawp turned a rather charming shade of puce.



“For example, my husband is a painter. I don’t roll him out of my bed and my affections if he happens to paint something that I dislike. That would be juvenile.” Her tone was acid and a small smile tugged at her lips. She had finally found something about this man that amused her.



“In reference to the matter at hand, Dr House is a loose cannon but he is also an asset to this hospital. The only reason Dr Cuddy is in charge of controlling him is because the rest of you are too insipid to take charge and do it yourself.” Tawny sighed and sat back in her chair with a swing. “Well, that and Dr House would eat you for breakfast.” She grinned at them slyly then. “I have a simple solution to the problem of fraternisation, since you do seem to be determined to make it a problem, one of you takes charge of his actions. Accepting the difficulty of dealing with the man, the responsibility of his behaviour and, of course, the challenge of smoothing out the repercussions of said loose cannon’s…shall we say idiosyncrasies?” She took in the room at large. “Any volunteers?”



Silence met her proposal. She half expected some crickets to chirp and tumbleweed to bounce past.



“Nobody wants to offer a solution?” Tawny asked in a sickly sweet tone. She was really beginning to enjoy herself as the board members shifted uncomfortably in their seats and shot wary glances at each other.



“I could do it.” Wilson finally offered.



“No you couldn’t.” Tawny said immediately and Wilson frowned. Tawny hurried to explain. “After all, anyone who dares to like the man can’t be trusted to make an impartial decision about him. That would be almost professional.” Tawny said this as if the very thought were scandalous.



“Well, Dr McQueen, if you’re so good at being impartial, why don’t you ride herd on Dr House?” Gawp asked her succinctly and Tawny’s chin raised slightly in acknowledgement of a well met blow. Who knew? The man had a spine.



Tawny slowly traced her tongue over her lips and mulled it over. It wasn’t out of the question. She was fairly confidant that she could manipulate House at least as well as he could manipulate her. She tapped her chin idly with one manicured finger. “You know you sounded almost intelligent there?” She spoke to Gawp to buy time.



Gawp scowled at her. “It has been known to happen on occasion.” He gritted. “Of course, if you yourself do not feel up to the task we will have to find someone who is and appoint them to it, since Dr Cuddy can no longer be trusted to…”



“Dr Cuddy can no longer be trusted to what, Baylor?” Cuddy’s voice rang clearly and threateningly throughout the room and Baylor, or Toady as he would always be known by Tawny, froze in his chair and then inched slowly around to see Cuddy standing in the doorway, glaring at him in a manner that could have vaporised small lizards and rodents and probably kill a cat at fifty yards.



“Dr Cuddy! I didn’t see you there.” Baylor mewled, with an awful feeling deep in his copious stomach that he was about to die.



Cuddy strode into the room, her briefcase swinging at her side and clattered it onto the desk within millimetres of Baylor’s fat fingers. She bent slightly so that she invaded his personal space, looking suddenly wolfish with the fearsome scowl that clouded her features. “Evidently.” She ground out in a low growl and board members shifted and automatically deferred to her through body language alone. Tawny watched in interest. This was supposed to be a room full of peers but all eyes turned to Cuddy. She was undoubtedly queen in this court.



Cuddy straightened to her full height, augmented by the three inch heels in which she stood. Tawny thought it slightly amusing that Cuddy had happened, by chance, to be wearing a negative of Tawny’s own outfit. A crimson shirt contrasted against the smooth pale skin of her throat and a deep gold power suit with a viciously cut pencil skirt off set the flashing blue fire in her eyes. Her hair was tumbling wild down her back and shoulders and Cuddy’s nails clacked against the leather of her briefcase like the rattle of a snake as she swept her gaze around the room. Finally it rested on Tawny almost like a physical thing and Tawny ignored the fission of apprehension down her spine. She out weighed this woman by at least thirty pounds, all of it muscle and sinew and Tawny was nearly ready for rappelling down out the window just to get out of her way. She relaxed slightly at the almost imperceptible nod from Cuddy, the only sign of gratitude she would get for the moment.



Cuddy strode the length of the table and Tawny smoothly removed herself from the boss’s chair. Cuddy sat, taking her throne, she folded her legs with smooth deliberation and then looked expectantly at Baylor then at Tawny. He removed himself from his seat and allowed the French doctor to sit. Tawny hid a smile while Cuddy cleared her throat and swept imaginary dust from the table before regarding the boardroom.



“We were discussing something?”



“I believe that Dr Baylor was angling at a threat to fire you.” Tawny turned in her seat and looked up at the single standing doctor in the room. “Or was I mistaken in where that threat was headed?”



Baylor gaped and flapped for a moment before Cuddy interjected.



“Dr Baylor has been on this board long enough to know that it will take a great deal more than idle threats to remove me from my position. However, I’m sure that he did not intend to sound as…crass as he did. Did you, Dr Baylor?” Cuddy looked at him almost kindly and Baylor seized the lifeline.



“Of course not, Dr Cuddy, I simply meant that the hospital’s reputation must be preserved. Though I have no problem with yours and Dr House’s…” Baylor wisely let that sentence die as Cuddy’s eyes turned to steel. “To an outsider it may appear to be…less than clandestine.” Baylor was practically whimpering by now and Tawny could almost muster something resembling sympathy for the man.



“A valid point.” Cuddy nodded and then flipped the intercom at her side. “Agnes, could we have another chair in here, please?” She straightened and then sat back in her chair. She seemed to think for a moment as she folded her hands on her stomach and rested her elbows against the arms of her chair. She looked up at the room at large. “Dr House and I are in a relationship of a personal nature.”



Tawny was really beginning to enjoy herself. It had become obvious to her in the first thirty seconds in Cuddy’s presence why she had become the youngest dean of medicine in the state. In that single sentence she had effectively copped to all charges and promptly forbidden anyone to ask anything else about the matter.



“I understand that this, while not being against hospital policy, is frowned upon. However, if you will allow me to be frank, it’s none of your goddamn business what I do outside of office hours. While I work here, the hospital comes first, it always has and it always will. Which is why I have been able to procure over seventeen million dollars in hospital funds in the past five years, build two new cardiology wings and, incidentally, why we have the leading diagnostics department in the country.” There was a note of finality in her tone and nobody spoke against it.



Gawp cleared his throat and all eyes turned on him. He looked uncertain for a moment, particularly under the intense scrutiny of Cuddy, but then finally voiced his thought before it died of loneliness.



“There is the, ahem, matter of impartiality?”



“Dr House is an ass, impartiality is impossible with the man.” Cuddy answered flatly. “I do concede though, that given the circumstances, that changes should be made.” Her eyes slid to Tawny.



“Oh hell no.” Tawny stated flatly and Cuddy just smiled at her. Tawny was quickly beginning to associate this smile with some kind of dire circumstances heading rapidly her way.



“You would be an ideal candidate for the position, Dr McQueen.” Cuddy pointed out mildly.



“The Pope isn’t an ideal candidate for this position!” Tawny hissed. She was not getting stuck in another admin job. She hated pencil pushing. “I’m a surgeon. I’m here to cut not as an au pair!”



“Your surgery rotation will not be affected, you will be called in to make sure that my decisions are impartial. It would be a figurehead position at most, Dr McQueen.” Here she looked slyly at Baylor who was sitting on an uncomfortable plastic seat that Agnes had dreamt up for him. “Just to make sure that to an outsider everything appeared clandestine.”



Tawny looked sideways at the rest of the board and then back to Cuddy. “So I just sign the dotted line and tick the allotted box?”



“Essentially? Yes.” Cuddy beamed at her. “Now that’s settled I think we can call it a day. I’ve not eaten yet and I’m starving.” She smiled at them, lunged to her feet and out of the room in record time.



Tawny stared after her. She hadn’t agreed yet! Launching herself to her feet, Tawny was the second of the dazed doctors to make a sharp exit and she powered down the corridor after Cuddy in time to see her disappearing into the bathroom. Tawny caught a nurse as she was about to go in and spun her around, propelling her down the hallway with little more than a fierce glare from behind her sunglasses. Tawny pushed her way into the ladies her sharp eyes fell on Cuddy as the smaller woman held herself up at the sink, the tap running full blast and air heaving in and out of her lungs as she tried to will herself under control. Tawny’s irritation at being stonewalled into a position she didn’t want vanished as she realised Cuddy had only done it in order to get out of the meeting as swiftly as possible.



Cuddy looked awful. Her skin was waxy pale, a sheen of unhealthy sweat on her forehead and her arms shook as she supported herself on them.



“Cuddy, you should go home.”



“Uh-huh, I was an hour late for work today and Baylor nearly talked the board into staging a coup. I dread to think what would happen if I actually took a day off.”



Tawny sighed, career woman! “The place is not going to…fall apart if you leave for a few days in order to not die.”



“I’m not going to die, I just feel like it.”



“Oh well, it’s alright then.” Tawny folded her arms over her chest and glared at Cuddy’s reflection. “Where is my charge?” Tawny decided to try and distract her by changing the subject. “Perhaps I’ll get him a leash.”



Cuddy choked a laugh. “He’d enjoy it.”



“Well, enough about your social life.” Tawny muttered in mock disdain, though she really was worried for the boss of her boss. “How are…things?” Tawny decided to tread carefully.



Cuddy met her eyes in the mirror and finally managed to straighten. She smoothed her suit and then fussed with her hair a moment. “Awkward.” She settled for. “Who else knows?”



Tawny shrugged. “I have told no one, not even Wilson. Though I imagine he knows now.”



“I imagine half the hospital knows by now.” Cuddy muttered darkly and stooped to pick up her suitcase with a look of determination on her face that gave away her discomfort. Tawny snatched it out of her reach. Cuddy looked on the verge of arguing, a mulish expression on her face but Tawny just arched a brow at her. Cuddy tilted her head with a watery smile. “Thank you. For everything.”



“Not a problem. This is the most lucrative pay cheque I’ve ever had.” Tawny shrugged and pointed at her suit. “This is Dolce. I have dreamed of Dolce.”



Cuddy smiled. They both knew she wasn’t doing it for the money but Cuddy sensed Tawny needed to have an excuse to act nice. Probably in a similar way to how House couldn’t stand to be seen as being pleasant. Cuddy suspected it had something to do with Tawny’s mysterious past. She had been trained medically in the French army as part of an elite force of some kind, the French equivalent of the Navy SEALS or the British SAS. Paratroopers or something. Most of her CV had been ‘sanitised’ though with great chunks of it blacked out or classified. Cuddy didn’t really mind, perhaps an ex-army woman would be the only one capable of reeling House in a fraction. God knew it would be nice to share the responsibility for a while.



“Are you ready to face the lions?” Tawny smirked.



“I was born ready.” Cuddy smiled back only slightly strained and her shaking reduced to the occasional trembling. The both stepped out into the corridor once more and Tawny drew Cuddy into an animated conversation about Lorcain at breakfast that morning. How he had refused to wear his teddy bear scrubs again, no matter how much his younger sister pleaded.



“You have a daughter?” Cuddy found herself blurting. She had only heard of Lorcain.



“Mm-hmm, Madeline. We call her Maddy for short, she is a tearaway.” Tawny smiled at the thought of her dark haired daughter and pulled a photograph of her from apparently nowhere to show Cuddy. She had the darker toned skin of her father and his same almond shaped eyes that seemed forever deep but there was a mischievous grin on her lips that was so like Tawny’s own secret-keeping smirk that Cuddy found herself grinning back.



“She’s beautiful.” Cuddy complimented her. “How old is she?”



“She is three next month.” Tawny secreted the photograph away again. Tawny was quiet a moment, the click of their heels the only companion in the relative quiet of the hallway. “Have you ever wanted children?”



Cuddy faltered slightly and gave a sad kind of smile. “I always have it just seems…to get shoved out of the way a lot.”



“Hmm.” Tawny said and Cuddy had the impression that she knew more than she was letting on. She was prevented from questioning her by the way Lorcain suddenly appeared out of nowhere and accosted them.



“Hi, mum! Dr Cuddy.” He nodded at her with an enthusiastic grin and Cuddy placed a hand to her heart as it thundered under her palm.



“Don’t do that!” His mother cuffed him on the back of the head and he stuck his tongue out at her.



“Didn’t hear me coming, mum. Getting old!” He taunted her and Tawny glowered at him.



“Don’t you have a job to be doing?”



“Hey, I’m doin’ it! Hence the suit. Aren’t I so pretty?” He fluttered his eyelashes at them and Cuddy chuckled as he struck several poses and pouts in quick succession to show of his new suit. It was a stunning tailored suit made up of black and white checkers with an emerald green shirt that matched his eyes and a black tie. Green leather loafers completed the outfit.



“Not afraid of pattern are you?” Cuddy smiled at him and he pretended to preen a little further.



Tawny straightened his collar with a trifle more force than was necessary and arched a brow at him. “How many chessboards died for this monstrosity?”



“Mum! You made a joke!” Lorcain slapped his face as if the shock were too much for him. “I mean, who knew under all that fossilised military training there was the heart of a comedienne just waiting to issue toilet humour?”



“Children.” Cuddy stepped between them before this escalated. “You have my schedule today, Lorcain?”



“Can do, boss!” Lorcain whipped a journalist’s notepad out of his pocket and plucked the pen from behind his ear to point at each item on the list. “Walk with me, ladies, walk.” Lorcain ushered them along the corridor, prudently out of his mother’s reach and began to rattle off things that had been seen to by himself and Tawny and still needed attention from Cuddy.



“Wow, things seem to be under control.” Cuddy murmured appreciatively and smiled at Lorcain. “Good work.”



“See? Somebody appreciates me.” Lorcain shot a meaningful look at his mother.



“I’d appreciate you if you were quieter.”



“Meanie.”



“Delinquent.”



Cuddy watched the interplay with a great deal of amusement a faint echo of longing in her chest. This is what she had given up so that she could have her career. Mind you, Tawny seemed to be doing rather well for herself and she was married with two children. Maybe you could have it all…



“Oh, Dr Cuddy, I almost forgot. There’s a woman here to see you. She got here at nine or something like that and said she’d wait to see you. She’s in your office.” Lorcain pointed through the doors and Cuddy could just make out the dark head of a woman sitting by her desk.



“Okay…donor?”



“Nah, doesn’t have that money smell.”



Cuddy could just make out Tawny rolling her eyes behind her glasses. She smiled. “Alright, you go and have some breakfast, since you didn’t get yours this morning, and I’ll deal with my nine o’clock.” Cuddy dismissed them and turned away just as Lorcain offered his arm with exaggerated chivalry to Tawny and they both headed off to the cafeteria.



Cuddy made her way towards her office through the clinic and briefly thought of House. Things were definitely awkward between them. She was drawn to him, no doubt about that. She wanted him like she’d never hungered for a man before and he seemed to reciprocate with equal appetite. But how much of that was whisky induced sex-cravings and how much of it was their own chemistry?



She had just admitted to the board that they were involved, but were they really? Yes, they were sleeping together, and both enjoying it thoroughly, but that wasn’t a relationship. That was sex. It was such a mess. She had managed to hold off any implosions of the career variety but she couldn’t help but wonder if they were both careening towards a hurt that neither of them might be able to recover from. She knew that House could hurt her, she already cared for him, what would happen to her if she actually fell for him and he decided he was bored with her?



Cuddy sighed and shook her head at herself. It couldn’t get much worse than this. She pushed her way into her office, pasting a greeting smile on her face and felt it freeze on her lips as the woman in the chair rose and turned to meet her.



“Hi, Lisa.”



Apparently it could get worse. Much worse. Cuddy finally managed to unfreeze the brittle smile on her lips and force a word out.



“Stacy.”





TBC...