Time, Death & Scar Tissue...

10. Awareness and Abandon

Kathryn stretched comfortably and something about that didn't seem entirely right. She felt good, and she was surrounded by his soft, wonderful scent, but how could she be so comfortable sitting in a chair with her head on a table? And why did she smell him and not books and varnish? Her mind swam slowly and uneasily to wakefulness. When she opened her eyes Kathryn realized that her head was resting on his shoulder, she sat up quickly and realized she was stretched out in his bed.

“I didn't fall asleep in here.” She was confused and on edge. At least now she could tell that she was dressed, except for her feet, which had been bare to start with. She backed away from him.

“I know.” His voice was calm, soothing as he drew her back to lie down against him again. “Your head was on the table and you looked uncomfortable, so I brought you in here.”

Kathryn's heart was still beating fast as she settled back against him and she could feel the tension in her body, but she had to admit that it was probably better than waking up with a crick in her neck. She shifted a little uncertainly.

“I'm sorry,” She said finally. “My eyes just felt so tired and I thought that if I did nod off I would wake up when I heard you come back. I'm usually such a light sleeper. How did you get me in here anyway?”

“Carried you, of course.” He looked amused at the question and Kathryn blushed. “Did you have a good nap?”

He was on his side, facing her. One hand rested lightly on her waist. Kathryn realized he was wearing some kind of silky lounging pajamas. It unsettled her a bit, but he also looked more relaxed than she had ever seen him.

“Well, better than I would have with my head on the table,” Kathryn managed a small laugh and felt some of the tension leave her body. “I didn't mean to put you to such trouble though. You could have just woke me.” She found she still couldn't meet his eyes.

“What trouble would that be? You weigh hardly anything.” He moved a few strands of hair from her face and Kathryn wondered if he had taken her hair down or if she had before nodding off. She wasn't quite awake enough to remember and it didn't really matter all that much to her.

“I guess I'm just a little surprised is all.” Kathryn felt the flush rise to her face again and he pulled her close again. She found it very easy to settle against his chest again until the oxford shirt she was wearing over her tank top seemed to catch around her. She sat up and started to right it until he put his hands over hers.

“You'll be more comfortable without it.” His mouth was close to her ear. She knew he was right, but taking it off seemed very hard to do. She wasn't naked underneath and she was under the covers. She bit her lower lip and let him take it off of her. She settled back against him again. “Better?” He asked when she relaxed against him again.

“Yes.” She said softly. She had to admit, the feeling of him and the silky sheets against her skin was very relaxing.

“Good. I would have taken it off of you earlier, but I was afraid of waking you.” He kissed her softly and Kathryn wondered how she would have taken that if she had awakened to find him undressing her.

“How long was I asleep?” She sighed and felt the tension leave her body.

“About an hour that I know of. Were you able to get anything done before you nodded off?” One hand moved down over her hip to her thigh and then back to her waist and up over her back.

“Not really, my father called just as I was really getting started.” She tensed as his fingers stroked over her bare shoulders softly and then relaxed again.

“Not a pleasant conversation?” His fingers massaged her neck lightly and she pressed closer, her back arching.

“My first instinct is to say no, but I keep telling myself he's just acting like a parent. Apparently Corey called him and my grandmother to say how concerned she is that I'm spending so much time with you.” Kathryn could feel him tense for a split second before he relaxed again.

“Did she indeed.” Was all he said, she could tell that he wasn’t happy though.

“She did, and she's very lucky I decided to calm down before talking to her. Anyway, Grandmother is completely unconcerned, partially because she got the information from Corey and partially because from what I've told her about you she thinks I should spend more time with you. Daddy gave me the third degree though.” Kathryn found that she was enjoying this new closeness.

“No wonder you fell asleep, that must have been draining.” His hand moved down over her back again.

“I've watched him in court enough to know what to expect from one of his cross examinations.” She laughed softly and tensed slightly as his hand moved under the hem of the tank top, caressing her back lightly. “He's tough, but I'm pretty tough myself. At least he can't threaten to send to me to convent school in Switzerland now.”

“Is he satisfied with your answers?” His fingers moved softly.

“I think so, at least I planted enough reasonable doubt about Corey as a source to make him think twice about what she said. And I have Mira on my side, so she'll work on him too.” Kathryn started to wonder how she was going to force herself to move to go home.

“Mira?” His lips were close to her ear.

“My stepmother. She can come across as not very bright and she's still a little overimpressed with being Mrs. Thomas Jefferson Paige III, but she's kind of sweet in a way.” Kathryn allowed her fingers to roam lightly over his chest, tracing the planes of his body through the light fabric.

“Why do I know his name?” His hand moved down over her hip to her thigh and the span of his hand made her feel small again.

“You might have heard of his law firm, Paige, Kendall and Pierce. They have offices in several cities but they're based in Boston.” She arched a little as his thumb brushed a sensitive spot near her navel, trying to suppress the gasp it drew.

“Ah yes. Lawyers for old money, and new if there's enough of it.” She thought she heard the little smile in his voice, his thumb found the same spot again before moving on, making Kathryn tremble.

“That's them.” She heard the little quiver in her voice, his fingertip traced the lower margin of her ribcage lightly as his hand moved to her back again. Goosebumps broke out on her skin, her hardening nipples pressed against her bra.

“No wonder he worries about you associating with the wrong sort.” His lips found hers, his tongue claiming her mouth. Kathryn pressed against him, moaning softly, stroking his tongue softly with hers. The tremor that raced through her was too strong to be suppressed. He held her tightly and then pressed her onto her back. Her fingers stroked his arm.

“Do I still make you nervous?” He asked, looking down at her, his lips feathering softly over hers.

“S-sometimes.” Kathryn blushed and turned away when she heard the tremor in her voice.

“Now?” His mouth traveled down the exposed side of her neck to the hollow of her throat.

“Yes.” Her voice was tiny, her face turned toward his arm. She didn't want to admit it, but if he was asking a question like that he knew the answer already.

His lips moved with a teasing gentleness over hers and Kathryn reached out to his tongue with hers. The hand under her shirt moving down to circle one fingertip around her navel and then lower. She heard herself whimper softly against his mouth as he moved over hers, sliding her leggings down and tossing them aside. Bringing both hands up the sides of her body, raising the tank top. His mouth moved to the spot between her breasts when her pulled it over her head, tossing it aside as well. Kathryn started to shiver, gripping his shoulders tightly.

He tossed his pajama top onto the foot of the bed and held her against his chest again. Kathryn found she could barely breath as his hands roamed her newly exposed skin. She pressed against him, her fingers moving over his defined chest and stomach. His mouth had possession of hers completely and she felt her hard nipples pressing into his side. Eventually she stopped trembling and each soft touch made her arch against his hands.

He unhooked her bra and moved over her again. She tensed as he slid the straps over her shoulders, his mouth moved down the side of her neck again, making her moan and arch. His fingers lightly stroked her nipples as he took the bra away. Kathryn's head was spinning as his head moved down. She gasped sharply as his tongue teased her right nipple, his fingers gently rolling and pulling the other one. Her back arched tightly and her fingers moved through his short-cropped hair, her nails scraping his scalp lightly. He growled, his mouth taking on a new firmness. Kathryn jumped and cried out when she felt his teeth scratch painfully next to the sensitive bud, he held her still until she relaxed again, his mouth suckling gently and then moving to her other breast. This time there was no sharp pain, just his tongue swirling around her already hard nipple, making it engorge even further.

His hands moved down her body, sliding her panties down and tossing them aside. Kathryn tensed and retreated from him, her legs pressed tightly together. His hands stopped her and held her firmly. She trembled and groaned as his thumb caressed the front of her trimmed mound, the tension still in her legs as he opened them. His tongue trailed down to her navel, circling it and then moving lower on her stomach. His fingers traced her tender outer lips softly, drawing a sharp whimper of pleasure and need. Kathryn felt her body relax and she opened herself a little wider.

His head moved down, soft tongue dipping inside and exploring her wet slit. Kathryn cried out, jumping as it made contact with the sensitive nub that was hidden deep inside those folds. He held her still and probed her tight opening gently. She was so close, her hips rocking against his mouth, feeling a soft tug as his tongue pressed against her membranes. Kathryn whimpered with need when he found the nub of her pleasure again, stroking it with his tongue. She cried out as her release took over, sending shock waves through her whole body. His tongue lapped at her trickling juices until the tension in her muscles started to relax.

Slowly he moved back up her body, stopping to sweep his tongue over her injured nipple softly. He pulled her close and she curled up into him, feeling a deep blush color her cheeks at her complete loss of inhibition. His mouth found hers and Kathryn's eyes went wide before closing when she realized she could taste her juices and what she thought was a trace of her blood mingled on his lips. She shivered and he pulled the comforter around her shoulders.

Kathryn's eyes closed and she felt herself melt against him, his hand massaging her back lightly.

“So passionate.” He whispered softly next to her ear. Kathryn felt the blush come back to her cheeks again and she arched closer against him.

“I think you deserve the credit for that.” She murmured against his chest, feeling the rumble of his chuckle again.

Kathryn didn't know how long she stayed there, enjoying the deep relaxation in a half-doze. Her hand moved languidly over his chest and his fingers explored her skin, adding to the pleasant sensation of absolute comfort.

“What time is it?” She asked finally, her voice still soft and dreamy.

“Why?” His fingers moved her hair out of her face.

“Because, if I lay here too much longer I'm going to fall asleep.” Kathryn arched her back as his fingernails trailed lightly down her spine. He lifted her chin and she found herself looking into his eyes. The only way she could describe his expression was that of someone who had seen something slightly distasteful.

“Do you honestly believe that I would bring you to my bed and then send you out into the cold alone?” It was less a question and more an accusation. Kathryn squirmed uncomfortably under his steady gaze.

“I didn't mean it that way. It's just that I didn't even bring a toothbrush with me. I wasn't expecting to – to need it.” She blushed and he kissed her softly.

“You will have to learn to trust in my ability to plan. Go to sleep Kathryn, tomorrow is taken care of.” He held her close and she felt herself melting again. Kathryn knew that she wouldn't need much more encouragement for sleep. She turned so that her back was pressed against his chest, her knees drawn up, and his arm around her waist.

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LaCroix watched her breathing slowly shift from relaxed but awake to the deep, regular pattern of sleep. The hypnotic scent of her blood from the small wound on her breast mixed with the scent of her excitement and release and all of that with the scent of sweet, ripe fruit that always surrounded her. He stood to undress fully and then turned out the light, his eyes on her the whole time. She sighed softly as she settled back against him in the complete darkness.

He had been mildly surprised that she hadn't questioned the small wound, either when he made it or after. Inexperienced as she was she probably knew that bloodletting was not a usual occurrence during intimacy. LaCroix stroked her hip softly and she turned to face him, snuggling close against his chest. He held her close and waited until her sleep deepened again before reaching across the tenuous link. She whimpered softly and her body tensed against his but she didn't wake as her will surrendered without the tears and struggle of the first time. The suggestions he planted were simple, but they would protect her from the truth until he was ready for her to know. She would not remember him making wounds on her body. She would ignore their existence in every way but one. She would keep them covered. She shuddered as he retreated and he stroked her back softly until she settled.

In honest moments he knew the decision had been made even before she started working on her research there. He was not about to let her go, and not about to let her wither away in the brief span of years given to mortals. He would allow her to finish the book, and he wanted her to do that without the interference of acclimating to eternity and without the chance that her unconscious might make the book more accurate. He pulled the covers up over her shoulders and she sighed softly in her sleep.

His hand stroked her back absently and LaCroix wondered how many had tried unsuccessfully to melt the glacier that had always surrounded his emotions. There was no way to count really, there had been too many years and too many places and too many people who had wanted something from him. The thing that he realized was that she hadn't melted anything.

He had found himself looking at the swirl and crush of humanity in the club the night before, trying to feel something, anything, for any one of them and he found that there was nothing there. They were the means to his survival, nothing more. He had chosen one that physically resembled Kathryn, and even as she struggled and begged for her life there was nothing, other than the satiety that came with feeding. He realized that she had simply walked into the one spot of warmth he had left and curled up comfortably, waiting for him to join her.

Kathryn made a soft whimpering-mewling sound and his arms tightened around her, she trembled and then gripped him tightly for a moment before settling again. That was something else that he had noticed about her, she reached the protector in him without even trying and she had been doing from the first night he met her. It was well after sunrise and he felt his own deep sleep stealing over him. He moved her body carefully and spooned behind her, one arm still around her waist.