Mission to XXX 069

Ok...I don't own anything, sadly. This story is plot oriented, there'll be adult stuff obviously :) But the plot is important.

In short, it's a routine mission to a planet accurately designated as XXX 069, SG-1 which is usually lead by Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter is being led this time by their former CO Brigadier General Jack O'Neill. After all, it's a safe mission right? What could possibly happen?

Pairing: Sam/Jack.

There'll be Action, Humor and Romance. I'll say it now so I don't have to repeat it. Due to the customs of the locals, there will be minors engaging in some forms of er... adult playing. Don't read if it offends you.

I think that's pretty much all I have to say. Good reading! I hope it's as good for you as it is for me ;)

^^^


“Chevron 5 encoded!”

“So you’ll be coming with us on this one, sir?” Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter asked as Brigadier General Jack O’Neill walked into the Embarkation room in his field gear.
He walked up to her and playfully punched her arm. He looked positively delighted at being back on the scene.

“Well, from the MALP telemetry stuff and what SG-17 said, it looks like a pretty boring planet. Apparently the Stargate is in some kind of fancy temple. But anything’s better than sitting behind that desk doing paperwork.”

“Or tossing pencil leads across the room…” added his aide who had come up behind the general looking thoroughly opposed to the Commander of the SGC going offworld. Carter chuckled which earned her a Teal’c like “eyebrow raised” look from the general.

“Well, I should be pretty safe over there,” he said sounding somewhat disenchanted, “You won’t be loosing your commanding officer on this one, boys.” He adjusted a few things on his jacket and started up the ramp as soon the last chevron was locked and the surge from the hole had passed.

“Sir,” called out the aide, “ There’s a call from the president sir.”

“Tell him I’ll call him later! Or put him on hold.” The aide’s eyes registered shock. In fact he looked ready to panic, or break down and cry.

“But sir!”

Sam gave the poor man a commiserating look. did didn’t envy him. She was astounded that Jack would refuse to take a call from the president, obviously she hadn’t realized just how much Jack missed their field trips.

“Let’s go campers!”

“It is good to have you with us, O’Neill.” Teal’c gave him a very humanlike slap in the back, surprising O’Neill far more than anything else he’d come across in his travels through the Stargate.

“Yeah, feels like the good old days…” added Dr. Daniel Jackson from behind him.

Jack paused before the event horizon while Teal’c and Daniel went through and let Carter catch up with him. He looked at her face intently for a few seconds.

“You ok with me being in command, Carter? After all, you’re the codingding officer of SG-1…”

“Sure, I had to put up with you for seven years, what’s one more mission?” She smiled up at him in a sheepish way. Jack gave her a questioning look.

“Sir.”

“That’s better.” He grinned and suddenly pushed her through the gate like he had done on her first mission to Abydos. He definitely liked being back to his exploratory wonderings. He was pleased Carter had actually teased him too, very unlike her. Yup, command waitiniting her fine. He emptied his lungs and to a step forward.

As General O’Neill disappeared through the gate, the aide sighed and looked down dejectedly. He headed towards the general’s office.

“I’m doomed.” He muttered as he went to tell the president of the United States that the General was not present right now and would he like to leave a message.

^^^

“Looks like this temple’s fairly new. Definitely Greek, see the patterns engraved on the…” Daniel shut up as Jack poked him on the left shoulder blade.

“Easy, wouldn’t want your eyes to pop out of their sockets.” Jack motioned with his hand for them to fan out and start looking around. “Alright kids, look around but don’t touch anything. Remember the saying, ‘You break it, you buy it”.”

Sam smiled and walked off to the side to check out an amphora. Daniel pouted a little.

“Well, he certainly is in a good mood…” he muttered as he headed his own way. Teal’c nodded and went to inspect the DHD.

“Yeah, well. You know the general. He likes being the man but he misses leading his own SG team.” She said as she looked inside the amphora then bent down to look at the mechanism that seemed to retract the ledge the amphora was on into the wall. “Now this is an anachrony.” She muttered.

“Yeah, not to mention, he misses disobeying his superior officer…Now he’s the superior officer…”

Sam chuckled, Daniel headed through one of the arches, filming the ceiling on his way. Teal’c seemed satisfied with the state of the DHD and ready to do some small talk.

“SG-17 said the locals were very friendly but didn’t seem to pay them any mind.” He called out conversationally. “ sho should be here soon for the day’s prayer.”

“Hello.” She heard Jack say from further down what seemed to be a hall with columns. “Sweet! Hey Carter, check this out.”

Sam walked to where her commanding officer was calling from. She walked into a large garden encircled by tall, white columns. There were paths leading in several directions through the garden. There were flowers of all colors and several olive trees. But what Jack was grinning stupidly for where actually the dozen of statues representing people engaging in the most obscene of scenes she had ever seen, or imagined. She felt a blush creep across her face.

Jack sniggered as he studied a particularly embarrassing statue of a well built man with his fist deep inside a woman’s vagina. She tried to look somewhere else nonchalantly but everywhere she looked there were statues more or less of the same kind.

Jack noticed her discomfort and chuckled, he put his arm around her shoulders and started steering her about the garden, giving her a tour and commenting on the several statues.

“Wow!” He heDaniDaniel exclaim as the archeologist walked into the garden from one of the other arches. “Look at the artistic representation of the human body, the proportions... Definitely one of the best examples of Greek sculpture I’ve ever seen. I don’t recognize the characters but they might be local heroes of some kind…” Daniel blabbed on about what a great discovery it all was while he buzzed from one statue to another touching them and measuring out things. Jamilemiled and headed towards the side leaving the Colonel standing in the middle of the garden next to a larger than life statue of a man toting his own horn when she called out to Daniel.

“Daniel, could you please stop…you know…handling the statues please…Not that, you know, it makes me uncomfortable or anything…I’m just saying…”

“Uh? Oh! Yeah. Right.” He rubbed his hands on his pants as if suddenly noticing the theme of all the statues in the garden.

“So, Danny boy, did you figure out who this temple is built for? Which Snakehead?”

“Well, from the themes represented in the carvinn thn the furniture and the sculpture I would have said that’s pretty obvious. Although I’ve never seen a temple with a garden like this one before. I’d say it’s a temple cum palace. ”

“Greek huh? Eros?” asked Carter.

“Yeah, I’d say that’s it.”

“Eros? As in Erotic? As in Erotica? Yeah, I really think you got it Daniel.” Said Jack good-naturedly. He started to walk to a statue of a little girl masturbating when he suddenly stopped and turned around suddenly looking very serious. “Excuse me, Doctor Jackson,” Daniel looked up, “Did you just say “cum palace”?”

Sam started to laugh soon followed by Jack and even Daniel. They were in tears when Teal’c walked to one of the entrance arches and raised an eyebrow as he eyed the statues and them laughing and giggling like horny teenagers. He made no comment but bent his head to the side and raised an eyebrow in the manner that sometimes meant he disagreed.

“O’Neill, I believe the locals are coming. Perhaps we should wait for them elsewhere or return at a later time. Failure to participate in the rituals might be construed as a grave insult.” He gave the garden another cursive look while the rest of the time tried to catch their breaths and stop laughing.

“They’re friendly right?”

Teal’c nodded and followed as O’Neill left the room still chuckling and wiping tears off his eyes. Sam pulled on Daniel’s sleeve to get him away from the pedestal of one of the statues where he was attempting to translate a worn inscription while still chuckling.

They walked to what General O’N ter termed the “living room” to which Daniel had responded that it was in fact a living room since Greek temples were more of a house for the god than a temple per se. Jack had been a little disappointed that his joke wasn’t one after all.

There was a large throne on a dais that looked more like a psychiatric couch than a chair. It was flanked by an ivory and gold cherub on each side. The floor had colorful patterns made out of marble and some local stones. Jack commented on how the pattern on the floor looked like a certain part of the human anatomy that only Carter possessed.

“Sir!”

“Jack!”

“O’Neill!”

The others exclaimed at the same time when he made that particular observation.

“I’m just saying…”

As they got to the center of the room, locals started to walk into the room from large, golden doors, chatting and laughing. Sam had to suppress a giggle when she noticed a boy no older than thirteen start to playfully fondle a woman who must have been her age. She let Jack take the lead.

“Hi! I’m General Jack O’Neill of the SGC from Earth. We’re here on a peaceful exploratory mission. We’re looking for friends and allies. And who might you be?” He said in one breath and in a very monotonous tone of voice.

“Ooh! Welcome, Welcome, Welcome!” Said one tall, skinny, bald man with large movements of his arms. He was wearing a loose toga that reached his knees and was barefoot.

“I’m Daniel Jackson and these are Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter and Teal’c.” Teal’c and Sam nodded as Daniel introduced them.

“Yes! Haha! I am Agapios! Master or Revels!” He held his arms wide open and had a delighted grin on his face. “Welcome to Libydos!”