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November 2, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hey love,
this is rather sweet, although it could do with a bit of polishing and maybe a beta. The sex scene was a bit odd, but if you do a little bit more research next time i'm sure it'll be brilliant. Note though: I got stuck on the size of whoever-it-was' dick. Honey, the average guy has one that's smaller than 5 inches. do you know how RARE it is to have that size and type? And how old are they supposed to be in this, 16? At this age you're not done growing, so you most likely do not have a dick that size. Otherwise it was rather sweet. There are a few spelling errors here and there, som punctuation, but those are minor things and nothing to worry about. After having finished chap. 2 I'm eagerly waiting for one of the twins with his legs around Mr Moseby's waist... now there is a picture.. wonder if i'll get it... speaking of zack's member (now i'm there again but it bugs me) 7 inches is too big to deep throat and DEFINITELY to take completely during anal intercourse. and of course vaginal. duh. Trust me, not even the most talented cocksucker (crude much?) can take that size. Anal intercourse without lube WILL cause tearing - and bleeding! There is no avoiding that! bugged me the most on chap 2. Now I know they're brothers, but obviously none of them are virgins, so where is the protection? We DO live in the age of AIDS. Condoms please... and we're back at the issue of lube and size. three fingers? ok, where's the lube? *reads a few more paragraphs* ah. there it is. good.
Hmm, last chapter you add in the note that they're underage (obviously) bring back what I said earlier about zack's cocksize. also: i didn't see any protection used in the scene with max. is she on the pill, or just stupid? and were they virgins when this fic started, cause that sounds like some seriously EXPERIENCED virgins to me...
All in all, this story has all the potential in the world to become brilliant, but it's got a few rough points. I mean, two cute guys losing their clothes and going horizontal? what girl doesn't live that? I'll check back for more chapters.
...are your eyes bleeding yet? /// kisses, river
this is rather sweet, although it could do with a bit of polishing and maybe a beta. The sex scene was a bit odd, but if you do a little bit more research next time i'm sure it'll be brilliant. Note though: I got stuck on the size of whoever-it-was' dick. Honey, the average guy has one that's smaller than 5 inches. do you know how RARE it is to have that size and type? And how old are they supposed to be in this, 16? At this age you're not done growing, so you most likely do not have a dick that size. Otherwise it was rather sweet. There are a few spelling errors here and there, som punctuation, but those are minor things and nothing to worry about. After having finished chap. 2 I'm eagerly waiting for one of the twins with his legs around Mr Moseby's waist... now there is a picture.. wonder if i'll get it... speaking of zack's member (now i'm there again but it bugs me) 7 inches is too big to deep throat and DEFINITELY to take completely during anal intercourse. and of course vaginal. duh. Trust me, not even the most talented cocksucker (crude much?) can take that size. Anal intercourse without lube WILL cause tearing - and bleeding! There is no avoiding that! bugged me the most on chap 2. Now I know they're brothers, but obviously none of them are virgins, so where is the protection? We DO live in the age of AIDS. Condoms please... and we're back at the issue of lube and size. three fingers? ok, where's the lube? *reads a few more paragraphs* ah. there it is. good.
Hmm, last chapter you add in the note that they're underage (obviously) bring back what I said earlier about zack's cocksize. also: i didn't see any protection used in the scene with max. is she on the pill, or just stupid? and were they virgins when this fic started, cause that sounds like some seriously EXPERIENCED virgins to me...
All in all, this story has all the potential in the world to become brilliant, but it's got a few rough points. I mean, two cute guys losing their clothes and going horizontal? what girl doesn't live that? I'll check back for more chapters.
...are your eyes bleeding yet? /// kisses, river
schedule
February 22, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I just love this story chapter 4 is my favorite the others are awsome too but the fourth rocks please write another chapter PLEASE!!!!!
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January 11, 2007 at 12:00 AM
this story was so hot maybe you ought to do a shower scene with max,zack,and cody or maybe do a zack, cody, tapeworm scene think about it
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December 12, 2006 at 12:00 AM
wow....they sure have amazing bodies and lengths for a...12 year old...and multiple orgasms too
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November 30, 2006 at 12:00 AM
i think it was awesome i hope you write more chapters
well thanks for the good read. bye=)
well thanks for the good read. bye=)
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September 30, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I don't like the idea of Max joining but it was still really good.
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September 6, 2006 at 12:00 AM
a very well written chapter!!!! keep up the good work!
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September 6, 2006 at 12:00 AM
This is such a great story!I love Zack/Cody stories!!!Reading this stroy gets me HOT!!!
More soon please!
More soon please!
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September 5, 2006 at 12:00 AM
yea they naughty lol sweet chapter update iight.
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August 27, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I love this fic. Please update as soon as you can. Oh, and can you please email me the next chapter, because it's risky for me to access this website, I might get in trouble if I'm caught.