Where We Go From Here

Title: Unexpected (1/1)
Author: Michelle K. (CageyGrl@yahoo.com)
Rating: NC-17
Archive: If you want it, you may have it. Just tell me first, please.
Pairing: Donna/Leo
Summary: Donna isn't happy...and she finds solace from someone she didn't expect.

Disclaimer: Characters from "The West Wing" don't belong to me. Instead, they are the sole property of Aaron Sorkin, Warner Brothers Television and NBC.

Notes: This is my first piece of smut ever. And for my first piece of smut, I wanted a really unconventional couple. And Donna/Leo is pretty darn unconventional, I dare say. Oh, and it's written in Donna's POV.

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**Friday Night**

I am so angry right now. *Incredibly* angry.

There are several reasons for this.

First of all, I had a date tonight - with someone I don't much like, to tell you the truth. He's a friend of my roommate's and she's been pushing us together. I didn't really *want* to go out with him, but I decided a bad date was better than no date. And, anyway, maybe he could end up being better than I think.

Secondly, said date called me on my cell phone a minute before I was about to leave the office. Guess what? He canceled on me. With a lame excuse about having to work. This means that he was even more pessimistic about me than I wboutbout him.

Third, and worst of all, were Josh's comments when I let him in on this piece of information.

"Well, Donna," he said with a smirk, "it's your own fault. If you keep going after losers, you eventually become one."

He's gone past Deputy Downer. He's just becoming an ass.

I should've said that.

I could've pointed out that he hasn't gone out with a woman in a long time.

Or I could've mentioned all his failed relationships and flirtations. Mandy and Joey, anyone?

But I didn't.

"I'll keep that in mind."

That's what I said. And it wasn't even sarcastic.

I am really kicking myself now.

I probably should've slapped him at least.

But I didn't. God knows why, but I can't.

He took advantage of my lack of a date to put me back to work. We were both there until a little bit after eleven.

We walked out together. I didn't say anything to him. I tht hht he would take this as a sign of my anger.

But he didn't. He didn't notice at all.

"See you tomorrow," was all he had said.

He also didn't notice when I didn't answer.

On top of all that are my feelings of borderline depression. I feel so alone I can't even stand it.

That's me. Angry and depressed.

And now, here I am. Having an incredibly late dinner, trying to forget said depression and anger.

So far, it's not working.

I can't even drown my despair in alcohol. That's never helped. I always feel worse. Especially when I wake up...my feelings of sadness are sharper than ever. And my head's throbbing.

So, I decide to order a big dinner. French onion soup, Caesar salad, steak, French-fries. I'll probably order desert too.

Okay, this isn't a big help either. But it's still a form of comfort.

It's after soup and salad, while waiting for the steak and fries, that I hear a voice.

"Donna?"

I look up to see Leo McGarry. Or to put it another way, my boss' boss. So, in a way, my boss.

"Yes?" I say.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. Why wouldn't I be?" I reply rather defensively. Snapping at him is probably not a good idea. He could technically fire me. "Why do you ask?" I say with a bit more softness.

"I was sitting a few tables away. It looked like you were muttering to yourself." He pauses. "I thought that might be symptomatic of something."

"I was muttering?" I didn't even know that. Josh Lyman is apparently driving me crazy.

"Yes, you were. You looked to be anyway. Unless you were talking to a troll underneath your table."

It sounds like it could be an insult. But Leo says it gently. Like he's concerned. He might not be concerned, but that's another matter aogetogether. If Josh had said that, it would be openly sarcastic. And he'd be smirking.

Damn it. I have to stop thinking about him.

"I wasn't."

"Okay. Do you need someone to talk to?"

"No," I reply quickly.

"You sure?"

"No," I reply just as quickly.

"Do you want me to sit with you?"

I shrug. "I wouldn't want to bother you..."

"I was going to eat alone anyway. Unless you mind."

I shake my head. "No. I don't mind at all." In fact, Ilovelove it. I think I need the company.

He pulls up a chair and sits across from me. "What's going on?"

"Things...it doesn't matter really."

"Is it about Josh?"

I stare at him for a moment. Why does everyone assume my life revolves around Joshua Lyman? Granted, this is partly about Josh...but still. "Yeah. I guess you could say that." I stare at my lemonade. I don't meet Leo's eyes. "He just...he can be so hurtful sometimes."

The waiter arrives, bringing my food.

"Thank you," I say.

The waiter nods, then looks over at Leo. "Will you be dining over here, Sir?"

"Yeah."

A minute or so later, the waiter arrives with his food. We eat in silence.

When we're done, he speaks again. "What did he say?"

I pretend not to know. "Who?"

"Josh."

"Let's just say he insulted my taste in men. And basically called me a loser." My voice cracks a little. I really need to get a grip. I take a deep breath and continue, my voice stronger. "He says these things to me, and he doesn't even notice or care when I'm upset."

He places his hand over mine. "I'm sure he cares, Donna," he declares in a comforting voice. "He's just an idiot."

I laugh at this, and meet his eyes. He's smiling back at me. I've never really noticed what a nice smile he has. I don't really see it often. I don't think many people do.

"Well, there's another way to look at this," I say, my smile fading. "What does it say about me that I'm affected by what an idiot says about me?"

"Well, he's not an idiot all the time. And I know you care about him. And he does care about you, Donna. This is probably part of the way he shows it."

I raise my eyebrows. "By insulting me?"

"Yeah. Like when you were in kindergarten and you'd hit someone you liked."

"You're saying Josh is a kindergartner?"

"I've known him since he was a kid. I can safely state that his social skills have shown little improvement over the years."

I laugh again. "Well, that might be true." I pause. "It's not just that, though..." My voice trails off. I'm not quite sure if I should be telling Leo my troubles. I respect him, sure. But it's not like we've shared many moments of intimate discussion. The one time we did talk in detail it was about Josh - when he was having problems last Christmas. But I've never talked about myself with him.

His fingers move gently over my hand. "Yeah?"

"I'm just so lonely." I realize how pathetic that sentence sounds. But it's true. I'm lonely. Despite my work, my friends - I miss not having someone to lie in bed with. I'm desperately lonely.

"I know the feeling."

In his eyes, I see a reflection of my unhappiness. I can see how he misses his wife. Ex-wife, that is. I can tell that he feels as isolated as I do.

The waiter interrupts my revelation.

Leo quickly takes his hand off mine.

"Will you be paying separately?" the waiter inquires.

"Yes," I reply quickly.

"I could take care of it," Leo insists.

"No. Why should you?"

We pay our checks. He walks me to my car.

"I'm glad you were here tonight," I say truthfully. "You made me feel better."

"I'm glad I could be of help," he replies with a nod.

He starts to walk away to his own car.

For some reason that I can't quite fathom, I'm speaking. "I was thinking...maybe I could spend the night with you." Whatever it was I wanted to say, I doubt this is the way I wanted to phrase it.

He turns around to face me. "Spend the night?" he says incredulously.

"I mean...I mean that I don't want to be alone tonight. I thought that maybe, we could spend time together. And not be alone," I declare in a rambling monologue. The possibility that Leo thinks I've propositioned him is flustering me.

He stares at me for a moment, as if he can't quite understand why I'm saying this. I don't quite understand it myself.

"Okay," he says.

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"Should I follow you in my car or...?"

"You could come with me and pick up your car later."

"Okay."

I follow him to his car. He opens the passenger door for me and I climb in. We drive to his apartment in silence.

We both don't know what's going on. I don't know why I asked to go to his apartment; I don't know why he said yes.

I expect he's in the same predicament.

We arrive; I follow him into his place. I've never been in here before. There's never been a reason or opportunity.

He closes the door behind me.

"So...Here we are," he says.

"Yeah. It's nice."

He takes off my coat and throws it onto a chair. He takes off his own coat and throws it on top of mine. He kicks off his shoes and shoves them off to the corner.

"So, do you want anything to drink? Orange juice? Ginger ale?"

"No, thanks."

"Well, I'm going to go get some water. Make yourself at home."

He leaves. I kick off my own shoes, leaving them next to his. I'm sick of these damn heels. I've been wearing them all day.

I sit down on the couch. It is a nice place. A little small, but sufficient enough for one. Maybe he wants it that way - too much space can make a person feels even more isolated. I notice the pictures on the table. One is of him and Mallory; the other is of him, Mallory, and Jenny. They look so happy. They *looked* so happy.

Leo comes back in. He sits down next to me and places his water on the table. "Well," he says. "Are you sure you don't want anything?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"Do you want to talk?" he asks.

"I don't know. I just need...I need not to be alone tonight. My roommate's been spending all of her time with her boyfriend, so I'm usually stuck in my apartment talking to myself. For the few moments that I'm in my apartment of course."

He puts an arm around my shoulders. "I know, Donna. The time since I've been apart from Jenny...Do you know that you're the first person, outside of Mallory to see this place?"

"No. No I didn't."

"I can't get to sleep most nights. Which is fine, since I don't have much time to sleep anyway. Might as well not get comfortable."

"So, you miss her, right? Your ex-wife?"

"Yeah. I do," he says, sadness tingeing his voice.

I sigh heavily. I wish I had someone to miss. It seems better than nothing at this point.

I lie back and rest my head on his shoulder. He doesn't shy away from my position or second-guess it. It feels so comfortable to be here right now.

"It's strange, being alone after being with someone for so long," Leo continues.

"You don't have to be alone right now."

"No, I guess not." He pauses. "You know, you may feel bad now, but everything does get better. I know that from experience. My life may not be perfect, but it's an improvement over what it was like ten years ago."

His hand rubs my arm, a tiny gesture of comfort. Leo can be very sweet. I should've known that his gruff exterior masked an inner tenderness.

I look at him again, and I realize why it was I wanted to come here.

I want Leo McGarry.

I don't exactly know how it happened. Maybe I'm just lonely. Maybe I want to forget my monotonous sadness for a while. Maybe I feel a kinship with him. Maybe I just miss sex. Maybe this is a sex for comfort thing. Or maybe he's just an attractive man.

But I don't care. I just want him.

Without thinking, I quickly move my lips to his, initiating a kiss. He reciprocates for a moment before pulling away.

"What was that?" he asks.

"I kissed you."

"I knew that. *Why* did you kiss me?"

"Because I wanted to."

He continues to stare at me in bafflement. "Why?"

"I don't know," I reply truthfully.

"Donna...I don't want you doing this because you're upset. I don't want you to regret anything."

"I don't regret things. I don't see the point." I pause. "I just want to do this. I want to do this with you." I pause again. "But I don't want you to regret anything either."

"Donna..." his voice drifts off. He softly moves back a stray strand of my hair as he looks deep into my eyes. "This could be a big mistake."

"And maybe it won't be."

Now it's all up to him.

He leans towards me, a hint of hesitation in his advancement. He gently cups my face with his hands and moves me near him.

It's a few moments later that our lips meet again; this time, it's Leo who initiates.

His kiss is at once tender and hungry. I open my mouth, urging him to deepen the kiss. He complies, moving his tongue deftly around mine. I can hardly breathe, but I don't even care. It's not every day I get kissed like this.

I move my hands to the back of his neck and feel the prickly hairs that reside there. He pulls me closer to him as he continues to ravage my mouth.

My skirt rides up a little as I straddle him. I try to get as near to him as possible.

He finally breaks off the kiss. He wordlessly moves his lips to my neck. His hands travel downward as well, slowly unbuttoning my blouse. When he's done, he tugs the blouse out of my skirt and finally takes it off of me.

I'm not quite as patient. I rip off his tie, then unbutton his shirt faster than I had thought humanly possible. I pull off his undershirt and throw all of the clothing on the floor.

"I thought women liked it slow," he says in an even voice.

"We do. But sometimes, we want to see men naked as soon as we can."

He smiles a little and I kiss him again. His hands reach underneath my skirt to clutch my ass, moving me closer to him.

I shoot him a devilish grin, then let my hand move downward to massage the bulge in his crotch.

He groans and says my name in a plaintive voice, as if I'm causing him pain.

"Let's go to the bedroom," I say as I release him from my grasp.

"Okay."

I get off of him. He rises from the couch and leads me to the bedroom. As soon as we're through the door, he's kissing me again, and running his hands down my back. He unhooks my bra and slides the straps off my shoulders. I let the undergarment fall to the ground.

He pulls back again and lets his eyes roam to my now exposed chest. "I've never really noticed how beautiful you are. How incredibly beautiful," he says softly.

"You have to say that to a half-naked woman who's a few feet from your bed."

"Actually, I think the battle's already over at this point," he shoots back dryly.

"Point taken."

I run my hands down his chest, feeling the weathered skin. Many of his chest hairs are gray or graying. And every part of him is exquisite.

"You're beautiful, too, you know," I reply.

He doesn't answer. He just draws me to him again.

His hands sweep over my breasts and I shiver a little at the sensation. This feels so amazing. All of it. I didn't realize how much I missed feeling this way. And now I don't even have to miss it anymore.

Our lips meet again, and we're moving toward the bed. I fall backwards onto it, and he falls on top of me. It feels so good to have his flesh pressed against mine that I involuntarily yelp.

I push him down on the bed, once again straddling him.

I unbuckle his belt and pull down his zipper. I move his pants and boxers down his hips, finally succeeding in removing them completely.

I move my fingers against the length of his erection, noting that he's becoming harder under my touch. I lick my lips and move my tongue over the head of his cock.

He moans and moves his hands to my head, gently caressing my hair.

I run my tongue up and down his shaft before I finally take him into my mouth. I move gradually, taking a little more of him in at each movement of my head.

"I...I..." he moans. I'm sure if he's trying to say anything, but I really doubt that it's anything substantial.

I release him from my mouth. I don't want him to come. Not yet.

Liquid is glistening at the tip of his penis, and I gently lick it off. I move my tongue up the length of him. I lick his torso, continuing until we're face to face again.

I lie on top of him, longing to feel the heat of his body. His thumbs rub the corners of my mouth, gently wiping away the wetness. "Thank you," I say, feeling a bit awkward.

"No problem." His hands roam along the sides of my body. "Donna..."

I kiss his chin. "Don't say anything. Just do whatever you want."

He rolls over and I roll with him, positioning him on top of me again. He moves to take off my skirt, but begins to fumble.

"How do you get this off?" he says with irritation.

"There's a zipper on the side," I reply.

"Well, that's just wrong. Who makes this damn thing?" he asks gruffly.

"I don't care."

"I guess I don't either."

He finally finds the zipper and I raise my hips a little to make it easier to slide off. Now I'm only wearing my black lace panties. He hesitates a moment. "I don't have a...a thing."

It takes a moment for me to realize what he means. "Oh...It's taken care of." I'm on the pill. This is the first time it's been useful in months.

"You sure?"

"Yes."

He slides off my panties, running his hands down every inch of my legs. He works his way back up with his mouth, kissing my knee, licking my inner thigh. Then he's between my legs, his mouth barely millimeters away from my center. He flicks his tongue at my clit before moving it inside me.

I gasp at the contact.

He continues, making circles around my clit, touching it as lightly as he can. It's almost as if he's playing with it...playing it with me.

My breathing gets heavier with each movement. It's driving me crazy...the good kind of crazy.

Before I climax, he moves his mouth away. I don't know if he does it on purpose, but it succeeds in making me need him more.

He continues to my breasts, placing his mouth over my right nipple. He bites down gently as he suckles me.

"Leo," I moan softly. "Please."

I part my legs a little more as he moves upward, readying myself for him.

Soon, we're eye to eye. I can feel his hardness close to my sex. I want him inside me so desperately I can't even describe it. I ache for him. I need this so bad...

"Are you ready?" Leo asks me.

"Yes." Good God yes.

I raise my hips to make it easier for him to enter me. He thrusts himself inside me, and I moan immediately from the sensation he causes.

"Leo," I screech.

He starts off slowly, his hips moving in a languorous rhythm. I want him to go faster. But before I get to say anything, he picks up speed, as if he knew exactly what I wanted without my saying it.

"Yes," I say in a strangled whisper. I move my hands down his back, finally resting my hands near his hips.

He moves back a little, giving himself just enough room to slide his hand down. He finds my clit and begins to rub it in time with his movements.

I can't speak. Every sound that comes out of me is a moan.

I dig my nails into his skin, clutching onto him in desperate need. A need for him. A need for this not to stop.

I know that I'm going to come soon; I'm right at the edge. It only takes a few more thrusts for the warmth to overtake my body. I close my eyes and let the orgasm wash over me. I let out a guttural cry that I didn't even realize I was capable of emitting.

My eyelids flutter open, and I watch him.

He removes his hand from me and places it on the bed, I guess to give him leverage as he continues to drive into me.

I stare at his face - the perfectly lined features, his magnificent eyes, his strong chin. His gaze meets mine, and he stares at me so intensely that I find him all the more desirable.

"Harder," I command as I move my hands to his back and dig my fingernails in. "Now."

He complies, causing me to move up a little on the bed. I squeal as I grab onto him even tighter.

He continues to ram into me - it's strangely forceful and gentle at the same time. It feels so good. He slams himself into me one last time before he finally lets go. He lets out a deep, sexy groan as he comes inside me.

He leans in and gives me a long, deep kiss. He pulls himself out of me, but lingers a while before rolling off of me.

I lay there for a moment, trying to catch my breath. "That...that..." my voice trails off. I roll over on my side to face him. "That was incredible."

He looks over at me. He waits a moment for his own breathing to slow. "Yeah," he states matter-of-factly. "It was."

He puts his arm around me and I rest my head on his chest. I can hear his heart still beating quickly. I can feel mine doing the same.

"Where do we go from here?" I ask, not really expecting an answer.

"I don't know," he says as he moves his hand through my hair. "I guess we'll have to wait and see."

I'm not sure how this all happened. I'm not sure what *will* happen.

But, regardless, I'm happy.

I don't feel alone anymore. All my sadness has been washed away. Forgotten for this one moment in time.

I'm happy to be here.

I'm happy to be with Leo.

I'm happy in this moment, however long it may last.

THE END