Holding Close

Holding Close

Love's Gamble #3

by Kayla


Disclaimer: Well, I'm sure they're much happier with me, so let's all just pretend they're mine, 'kay? After all, I let them have so much more...fun. What!? What did you think I was going to say!? Ya perverts.


Warning: Discussion of rape and abuse, but nothing really graphic.


Strife stood by nervously as Joxer looked around the rooms his uncle allowed him to keep in his temple. He was a bit unsure of how they would be received. "Um, I don't have my own temple or nothin', so Unc lets me stay with 'im. We can work sumthin' else out if that ain't good with ya."


Joxer turned a smiling face toward him. "Oh, no. This is fine. It's wonderful. I like how you decorated the place. It's very you." He hugged the young god and planted a shy kiss on his cheek, making Strife flush with pleasure.


Joxer continued his perusal. Not too neat, but the clutter made the place less austere, more welcoming. The riot of colors splashed throughout the rooms in the form of rugs, tapestries and cushions accented the black marble that Ares seemed to prefer, given the state of the rest of the temple. In several places on the walls were shelves filled witsortsorted items, most of which he had no idea what their use could be.


A few articles of clothing were strewn about the floor and the bed was rumpled. Peeking out from under a pillow was... Joxer walked over and plucked out...a battered stuffed cat? He tilted his head, looking questioningly at Strifebr> br>
Strife stood embarrassed, waiting for some belittling comment. He watched warily as Joxer moved toward him, toy in hand.


Joxer reached his lover and brushed a pink cheek gently with his fingers. "What's your cat's name?"


Surprised, Strife stared for a moment before stammering out, "He's...he's a, um, tiger. Not a cat. Well, kinda a cat, but, like, bigger, ya know? Um, I, uh, named 'im...msrfzy." He mumbled that last bit out in a barely audible voice.


"What was that?"


"Mister F." ." He stared at the man defensively. "'Cause, like, he's...well, fuzzy."


Joxer looked back down at the cat -- no, tiger. Cradling it softly, he smiled. "I like it. It fits him. Mister Fuzzy." He petted the animal's soft fur.


"Yeah. Well, Ares gave 'im ta me a long time ago. So I wouldn't be alone at night. An', ya know, ta kinda help keep the nightmares away." He looked at Joxer, grinning. "Course, now I got ya to do that, huh?"


Joxer grinned shyly, glancing quickly at the bed. In a soft voice, he replied, "Yeah. But, we should still keep him there. Wouldn't want him to get lonely."


Strife beamed. He started to speak again, but was interrupted by a loud rumbling sound. He giggled. "Hey, how about we go get somethin' ta eat, 'kay?" At Joxer's nod, he caught hold of the man's hand and tugged him out of the room, Mister Fuzzy still clutched in his arms.


~~~~~~
Joxer snorted with laughter as honey dripped down Strife's chin.


Strife glared at him. "Hey, if ya don't like tha way I eat, don't watch! An' gimme somethin' ta clean this up with, will ya?" He gestured toward a napkin that Mister Fuzzy was sitting on.


Joxer reached for it, then hesitated, flushing slightly. Before he could change his mind, he leaned forward instead and licked the sweet, sticky drops from his lover's face.


Strife groaned, reaching a hand up to keep man man from moving away. "Hey, that was mine," he protested in a whisper, then opened his mouth, inviting the questing tongue inside. He locked their mouths together, intent on retrieving his treat.


"Ahem."


The two tore themselves apart, turning frantically toward the intruder. At the sight of the God of War standing there, Joxer let out a whi.
<.


Immediately, Strife moved in front of the mortal in a protective stance, glaring at his uncle.


Ares let out a dark chuckle. "Calm down, boys. I'm just here for breakfast. It is ok for me to eat in my own dining hall, isn't it?" The sarcasm was clearly heard.


Strife flushed. "Um, yeah, course. We'll just, uh, go...um..." He looked at Joxer helplessly.


"Oh, finish your food! I swear, you two will be the death of me. Get it through your heads -- I have no intention of killing either of you. Or even hurting you, for that matter. Actually, I'm grateful in a way. You both were instrumental in helping me win a bet with Aphrodite." He laughed. "She will never live it down!"


Strife and Joxer looked at each other. "Bet?"


"Ah yes, you were a bit...occupied yesterday. You missed the big show." He smirked. "Why don't I fill you in?"


They settled back. Joxer watched bemused as Ares plucked Mister Fuzzy from the table and, stroking his fur absently, related the tale.


~~~~~~
Joxer held a hand weakly over his stomach, pressing against the aching muscles. Strife rolled on the floor beside him, still laughing hysterically. The young god finally sat up, dragging in deep gulps of air.


"I can't believe I missed that! Man, 'Dite...that dress...an' tha frogs!" He collapsed again, tears streaming down his cheeks.


Joxer stuffed a fist in his mouth, trying not to laugh anymore. He didn't think he could take it. Calming himself, he watched the War God, confused. He seems...normal. Almost like any mortal. Not all mean like he acts around Xena and Hercules. Maybe they don't really know him the way they think they do. He resolved not to prejudge his god -- well, former god now -- as others seemed apt to do.


Ares' chuckles tapered off, and he stood reluctantly. "Well, much as I've enjoyed this little bonding ritual, I've got a war in the makings that I need to supervise." He eyed his nephew and the mortal with a grin. "Try not to get into too much trouble while I'm gone."


Strife frowned. "Um, ya ain't gonna need my help?"


Ares snorted. "Hey, I may be the big bad God of War, but I'm not the kind of guy who drags someone away from his...significant other when they obviously have other plans! You kids have some fun. Get to know each other." With a wink, he disappeared, taking Mister Fuzzy along with him.


Strife suppressed another giggle. That oughtta get an interestin' reaction from 'is warriors! Wonder if Unc'll 'member he's got my tiger 'fore he gets there? He looked over at Joxer. "So, ya...uh...wanna...go for a walk? Or somethin'?"


Joxer gave him a sweet smile. "Sure."


~~~~~~
Joxer was somewhat surprised at the gardens outside Ares' temple. He'd never imagined the God of War would care much for that sort of thing. But the flowers were beautiful, exquisite colors placed haphazardly among tall bushes and trees that served to provide a sense of privacy. Actually, the view reminded him a great deal of Strife's room...


Strife sat on the ground under a tree, leaning back against the trunk. He raised a hand, beckoning Joxer closer. He spread his legs, pulling the man down and holding him against his chest. They sighed contentedly.


After a few minutes of peace, Strife's hushed voice broke the silence. "I didn't always used ta live with Unc. Discord, my mom, she raised me. She...didn't 'xactly win any 'mother-of-tha-year' awards. She, uh..." His grip tightened, and Joxer rubbed his arms soothingly. "She...hit me a lot. Did...stuff ta...hurt me. She nevah really liked me much, ya know?"


Joxer pressed closer, hugging him.


"Tha...tha last time...it was bad. Real bad." His breath quickened. "I don't even really 'member what I did ta make her so mad. Prob'ly made her break a nail when she hit me, or somethin' like that. It nevah took much." He closed his eyes. Dredging up these painful memories was difficult for the young god.


"I...wasn't too powerful back then. Not a lot of worshippers or nothin'. An' Discord, she had these chains made of Hephaestus metal. So, she chained me down and did her bit with some whips an' knifes and...othah toys. Then she...she..." He gulped, trembling. His voice dropped to the barest whisper. "She brought in these guys. I guess they were followers of hers or sumthin'. She, uh, she basically told them ta...have fun with me."


Joxer's drew in a horrified breath. Not speaking a word, he turned and wrapped himself around the shaking figure, desperate to provide some comfort. Strife burrowed into him gratefully.


"There was seven of 'em. They...they all took turns...doing stuff. I'd nevah...ya know. I...I was a virgin then. They...really hurt me. But, no mattah what they did, I couldn't die. An' I wanted to. An' Discord, she just stood there, watchin', laughin'." He began to cry softly. "I don't know how long it lasted. When they...when they finished...Discord pretty much dumped me on Unc's doorstep. Far as I know, that was how he found out how things was really goin' with me an' her."


Joxer held tight, tears welling up in his eyes. He rocked the distressed god, crooning gently. His heart was breaking over the pain his lover had gone through.


"Unc, he took care of me. Let me stay with him. Kept...her...away from me. He was tha first person who evah cared about me, ya know? He's been like a dad ta me...or what I figger a dad would be like, anyway. A real one, not like Zeus is ta 'is kids or nothin'. He may get mad at me occasionally, but he nevah did nothin' really bad. Mostly threats an' stuff." He grinned weakly, sniffling a bit.


"I'm glad you had someone there to help you. It's...not an easy thing to go through when you're alone." There was a deep sadness in his tone that made Strife look up.


"Ya...ya nevah had no one ta help, did ya?" Joxer shook his head. "Well, ya got me now, an' I ain't lettin' ya go." His fierce expression was at odds with the red eyes and tear-stained cheeks.


The two clung to each other for a while, unwilling to part. Finally, Strife sat back. Wiping a hand across his face, he gave a weak chuckle. "Look at me, I'm turnin' into a fuckin' mushball."


Joxer gave him a sad little grin.


Strife looked at him, worried. "Ya ok?"


Joxer shrugged. "Yeah, it's just...I wish you hadn't had to go through...that."


Strife bit at his lip. "S'alright. I mean, least I only had it happen that one time." He hesitated, then dared to voice his question. "It...it wasn't just once for ya...was it?"


Joxer stiffened, trying to move away, but Strife captured him and practically crawled into hip, ep, embracing him and laying his head above his heart. Joxer relented, cuddling the god close. "No, it...it wasn't."


"Didn't think so." He looked up. "Ya...wanna talk 'bout it? Or not, whatevah."


For a while, Joxer remained silent, struggling with his decision. Finally, he sighed. "It didn't start out...bad. I mean, my father pretty much ignored me to concentrate on my brother Jett. Jayce was never really around much either. It was...it was always pretty obvious that I wasn't going to turn out special. Growing up, I could never defend myself; someone always wound up rescuing me. Or else I just got beat up pretty bad."


He swallowed hard. "One time, these town bullies were after me. They got a kick out of messing with me. They, um, they were taking turns hurting me, and didn't plan on stopping anytime soon. They might have killed me, when...he showed up."


"He?"


"My father, he was a warlord, you know? He had a lot of...I guess you could call them friends, other warlords who would hang around. B-Brakus was one of the...higher up guys. Everyone was afraid of him." He shuddered. "They had good reason to be. Too bad no one ever told me."


Strife could feel the man's hands trembling as they stroked his back. "So...what happened?"


"He...rescued me from the bullies. Took me back to his camp near my father's place. He said...he said I owed him. That if I wanted his protection, I'd have to pay for it." His breathing quickened. "It-it wasn't that bad. Not at first. For a few weeks, he just made me do chores; cleaning his armor, straightening up his tent, washing his clothes." He broke off.


Strife waited, nuzzling gently against Joxer's chest.


"One night...I, um, broke something. One of his trophies from some battle. He-he got really mad. He got his...his whip and...and h-he just started hitting me with it. Over and over and over." Silent tears dripped down his cheeks. "When he was finished, he just...acted like nothing had happened. Treated me the same as before."


Strife gritted his teeth. Note ta self -- find tha bastard wherever he is, an' kill him. Very slowly and painfully.


"It...happened again. I'm pretty clumsy, you know. The...the beatings got worse every time. No one at home ever noticed anything. They were too caught up in their own lives, I guess." He cleared his throat, sniffling. "By then, I was too scared to try to stay away. Then, a couple of months after he whipped me that first time, he..." Joxer began to shake, his skin turning even paler and growing clammy.


"S'ok, I'm here. Ain't gonna let ya go, ain't gonna let no one hurt ya anymore. You're safe." Strife continued with his soothing litany until Joxer calmed a bit.


"He got really mad, and whipped me like he usually did. Then...he-he...picked me up and t-t-tore all my clothes off. He threw me d-d-down on his bed, and the next thing I know, he's naked and pressing down onto me, and-and...pushing himself in-in-inside me. It...it hurt so bad, and he...wouldn't stop. It seemed like it took forever before he was done. Then he just...got up and got dressed, and told me he didn't need me anymore that night."


"I...I could hardly move. There was so much blood. But...I knew if I stayed, he'd just get madder. I got out as fast as I could. I stayed away, hoping he'd forget about me. After a week, I thought I was safe. Then my father finds me and tells me how Brakus came to him and said how grateful he was for my help and asked if I could stay with him as long as he was there. He...he agreed. Said I had to go back to him right away, and to pack my stuff."


"When I walked into his tent, he was so smug. Like he'd won a battle or something. Said, I belonged to him now. Then he m-m-made me take my clothes off, said I was his pet and...and pets don't wear clothes. He dragged me to his bed and did...that...again."


Strife hugged him, rocking gently. "How old were ya then?" He dreaded the answer to that.


"Twelve," came the soft whisper.


Strife tensed. Changed my mind. I'm gonna find him, an' hurt him. A lot. For a long, long time. Then kill him, an' get Uncle Hades ta' lemme torture him in Tartarus fer tha rest of eternity. Yeah, good plan. "How...how long did he keep ya with him?"


"He stayed for another four months, until he went off to a war somewhere."


"So, you were free then." Strife was relieved. He hated to think of what his lover had endured for those long months. His heart sunk as Joxer shook his head.


"Like I said, there were a lot of warlords who hung around there. When he left, he...gave me to one of them. Told me, I might as well use the only thing I had going for me to keep myself alive. That's-that's basically how the next five years went. I got...traded among the different warlords who stayed there. Some were...nicer than Brakus. Most were as bad or worse. All of them liked to hit me, and make me do...stuff...with them. They said I made such a good pet."


"Then, when I was almost eighteen, one of the warriors got me alone near the river."


Strife braced himself for the worst.


"He...he asked me if I wanted to get away. Said he'd help me. He was...nice. I couldn't remember the last time someone had been really nice to me." Joxer smiled sadly. "Anyway, a couple of nights after that, he snuck me out of the camp to where some friends of his were waiting. He gave me some dinars and said to get as far from there as I could. I...I never saw him again. I traveled with his friends for a few weeks, and finally decided to try my own luck. Eventually, I met up with Xena and Gabby, and here I am." He tried for a cheerful expression, but it came out as a rather sickly grimace.


Strife had relaxed when he realized that the warrior in question had saved his Joxer instead of inflicting greater amounts of torment on him as he had expected. Gotta find out who he was an' do something...nice fer him. He winced. I ain't gettin' soft, though! Them othah warlord guys is gonna get it bad! Just gotta figger out how ta get Jox ta tell me their names without flippin'. "Yeah, here ya are." The young god kissed his head gently. "Lucky me, huh?" He tilted Joxer's face up toward him and pressed a soft kiss onto his lips.


For a while, they sat entangled under the tree, exchanging sweet kisses and trying to push the past as far from them as possible. Before long, they were reclining on the soft grass, stroking each other lazily. It didn't take long before their movements began to slow and they fell into a light doze.


~~~~~~
Yawning, Strife awoke. He looked over at Joxer, still curled up against him, sleeping. He leaned closer and nuzzled the man's neck, licking moist circles on the pale flesh. When he heard a soft moan, he lifted his head, staring enthralled as dark eyelashes twitched against smooth cheeks, and sleepy eyes flickered open.


Joxer licked his lips, smiling. When his gaze focused on Strife, he opened his mouth to speak.


Strife watched hungrily as a pink tongue snaked out to brush across full lips. When the tempting mouth opened, he swooped in.


Joxer gasped as he was consumed by a fierce, possessive kiss. His arms wrapped around his lover's body and he squirmed, trying to deepen contact. Finally, Strife pulled back, resting his forehead against Joxer's as they both caught their breath.


With a contented sigh, Strife looked up into the sky. Grinning, he nudged Joxer. "Hey, there's a bunny up there."


Joxer stared at him, confused.


Strife chuckled and licked at the tiny wrinkles that had appeared between Joxer's eyes. He nibbled at the smooth skin for a moment before pulling away. Rolling onto his back, he pointed up. "There. Tha cloud there. It looks like a bunny, don't it?"


Joxer curled up against Strife, head propped on his shoulder. He followed the direction of the finger and saw a white, fluffy cloud that did look somewhat like a rabbit. "Uh-huh. Sort of. In a stretched out, wobbly kind of way."


"Maybe he's drunk or somethin'." This drew a snort from the mortal. "Hey, could happen!"


Joxer snickered. "You'd know more about that than I would, I'm sure!"


Strife growled and nipped at his earlobe.


"Hey! Watch the teeth!"


Strife kissed the wounded flesh apologetically. The kiss progressed to licking and settled on tender suckling. Joxer moaned, throwing his head back. With a wicked grin, Strife pulled away, leaving the mortal staring at him in confused loss.


The god nonchalantly went back to his perusal of the sky. "Hey, it's a little piggy!"


Joxer pouted for a moment, then rolled his eyes, playing along. "Looks more like a cow to me."


"Hmm. Could be. That one looks kinda like Cerberus."


Joxer tilted his head, squinting. "It does, actually. And I think there's a Hydra over there."


Strife giggled. "Ain't nevah seen a fluffy Hydra 'fore!"


"It's a cloud! Clouds are fluffy! It's...it's a cloud thing!" Joxer protested, much to Strife's amusement.


"Fluffy Hydras! Think of the fear that would inspire! It'd have villagers runnin' in, um...well, terror ain't 'xactly tha word I'm lookin' fer here."


Joxer decided it would be prudent to change the subject. "That one sort of looks like Zeus." He pointed.


Strife looked. "He's kinda loppy-sided, ain't he?"


Joxer smiled. "I'll tell him you said so."


"Hey, I meant tha cloud, not --" He stared at the giggling man. "'Kay, now. Don't make me hafta get tough with ya." His words had no effect. "You asked fer it." He rolled on top of the mortal, nimble fingers darting under his shirt. Mercilessly, he tickled the struggling malmoslmost getting bucked off a time or two.


"Stop! Please!" Joxer panted, laughing helplessly.


"Ya gonna make me?" He tugged at the materialJoxeJoxer's shirt, baring the sooth skin of his stomach and chest. Joxer stilled, and Strife stared as the pale skin took on rosy hue.


Joxer flushed at the hungry look in Strife's eyes. His breathing quickened as the god slowly leaned forward. A pink tongue darted out and swept across one of his nipples, which tightened in response. He arched up, hands reaching to tangle in his lover's dark hair.


Strife moaned at the salty taste of his lover's skin. He removed his mouth with a wet slurp and blew across the damp flesh, watching as the slim figure shivered. He glanced up, and his pale eyes locked with the deep brown of his lover's. Not looking away, he took the neglected nipple in his mouth, tongue flicking over the stiff peak.


Joxer squirmed under his lover, whimpering as the moist tongue danced across his sensitive chest. He gasped as Strife shifted, bringing their groins into contact. He spread his legs, lifting his knees and rocking his hips up.


Strife settled between Joxer's legs and increased the pressure of his sucking. When he pulled back to admire his work, there were dark red marks scattered across the mortal's torso. Strife hummed happily, then moved up to take Joxer's mouth in a wet kiss.


In a swift movement, Joxer was divested of his shirt. He blinked as he came into contact with heated flesh. Searching with his hands, he found that Strife had removed his own clothing and was now laying naked on top of him. He approved, and tried to show his appreciation by caressing every bit of flesh he could reach.


Strife growled and sucked hard on Joxer's neck, nibbling up to once again capture his mouth. He slipped his tongue inside the warm cavern, seeking. His hands roamed down tha mortal's sides, where their progress was halted by the fabric of Joxer's pants. Groaning, he pulled away, fingers fumbling and tugging.


Understanding, Joxer raised his hips obligingly.


"Oh, yeah. That's good." Strife quickly pulled the material down, skimming his hands over the softness of Joxer's ass in the process. Once the pants were off, Strife rolled them onto their sides, facing each other.


For a moment, the god just stared at Joxer. In a quiet voice, he said, "Ya know, ya don't hafta do this just fer me. Ya can say 'no' if ya wanna. I ain't gonna get mad or nothin'."


Joxer lay there for a moment, stunned. Then he stretched and gave Strife a quick peck on the nose. "I want to. It's not just for you, I'm doing it for me, too. You make me feel..." he struggled for the right word. "...desired. Not like a trophy, or a prize, or even a...a pet. But like...a lover."


"Ya are my lover. I just didn't want ya ta think it was like, ya know...fer protection or nothin'. I mean, I am gonna protect ya! Can't let ya get hurt, ya know. An' I'll teach ya ta fight, and take care of yourself, too. I just...don't want ya ta evah feel pressured. Like, ya hafta do sumthin' fer me just 'cause I want it. I don't want that kinda relationship with ya."


"What kind of relationship do you want with me?"


Strife blinked. Then he smiled. "Well, I guess ya could be my boyfriend fer now."


Joxer grinned as well. "And you have brought me home to meet your 'father'."


"An' we're sleepin' togethah, so ya bettah propose soon, or he might come aftah ya with his sword or sumthin'!"


Joxer burst into laughter. "I...I just got this mental picture. You in a dress waiting in front of a priest. And Ares with his sword drawn, standing over me to make sure I do the honorable thing after 'seducing' his innocent baby."


Strife snorted. "Hey, who was it did tha seducin' 'round here? Maybe you should be tha one in tha dress...then, when the priest is done, I can lay ya on Ares' alter, rip it off ya, an' ravish ya 'til ya scream." He licked his lips.


"I'd have to make sure not to scream, then. I wouldn't want you to stop too soon."


"How 'bout we practice tha ravishin' part now, hmm? Wouldn't want ta get it wrong on such an important occasion."


Joxer gasped as a hand closed over his cock. "Th...that sounds like...ahh!...a good...plan." He moaned, thrusting into Strife's tight grip.


Strife dipped his head and suckled at Joxer's nipples. He couldn't get enough of those rosy little nubs. "I love these, ya know. Could suck on 'em all day. Like gettin' em all hard an' wet. So pretty." All the while, his hand kept a steady tempo on Joxer's cock.


Joxer whimpered, straining against his lover. He ran a had down his lean back. Reaching the outward curve of his ass, he paused, then cupped a firm cheek in his palm, rubbing gently.


Strife turned his attention from nipples that were now swollen and glistening to go after a better prize. His lips captured Joxer's, and as he thrust his tongue inside the man's mouth, he rocked his hips, causing his slick cock to press against Joxer's thigh.


Joxer felt the heated pressure and released Strife's ass, reaching around hesitantly for his cock instead. He moaned as the swollen length of his lover twitched in his grasp, and began a slow pumping motion.


Strife shifted a bit to give him better access, throwing his head back with a hoarse shout when the hand on his cock sped up, matching the movement of his own hand. Blue eyes dark with passion sought and found their mates.


For long minutes the two pale bodies writhed against each other, soft gasps and moans sounding through the garden. Wet sounds of kissing could be made out, as well as the sound of flesh sliding rhythmically against flesh.


Strife moved his lips across Joxer's neck, reaching that sensitive spot behind his ear. He licked the skin, the latched on and sucked hard.


Joxer stiffened at the sensation, body trembling as his heart beat ever faster. Unconsciously, his grip tightened, drawing a muted groan from the god. When a finger flicked over the head of his cock, he bucked sharply, cumming in long spurts in his lover's fist. He barely registered the jerking of the cock he held as it released it's own fluid over his hand and stomach.


Strife panted harshly, still holding Joxer's slowly softening flesh. He turned his head to give the man a series of soft, nibbling kisses. When he felt Joxer release him, he gave a sad little sigh.


Joxer lifted his hand, sticky with his lover's seed. He moved it toward his mouth, but Strife let out a low cry. He watched, amazed, as the god leaned toward him and began to lick his fingers, taking each digit into his mouth and bathing it thoroughly. A warm tongue lapped at his palm, removing every drop of the fluid there.


When Strife raised his own sticky hand, Joxer was quick to capture it in his mouth. His own flavor covered the taste of his lover, and the mingling of the two drove Joxer to suckle hungrily on Strife's long fingers in aperaperate quest for every trace.


In this manner, the two finished cleaning each other lazily. Joxer was fast becoming addicted to his lover's taste, a state that was wholeheartedly reciprocated. Neither could get enough of the other. Joxer smiled, snuggling against Strife, and closed his eyes, anticipating many more such loving encounters with his god.


Strife sighed contentedly as Joxer drifted off in his arms. He watched the mortal who had come to mean so much to him. Mine, now. Ain't nevah gonna let ya go. He leaned close to take a lock of Joxer's hair in his mouth, sucking on it gently. Closing his eyes, he let the taste and feel of his lover wash over him. Now, just gotta get a few names from ya, is all. Yep, just some names...


Finit