What did you call me!?

What did you call me?!

It’s a sunny day in the Upper East side, ideal for taking a long walk through Central Park.
Something that couples of young lovers are used to doing.
Just like Dan and Blair.

“Premise, before I ask you a question: I’m not about to act as a jealous boyfriend.” Dan plays it safe.

Blair narrows her eyes at him.

“Okay, what do you wanna know about Chuck and me?”

Dan frowns in awe.

“Since when have you been so insightful?”

“Insightful is my middle name.” She smirks.

“I thought it was Cornelia!” He strikes backs.

Blair glares at him, her adorable nose turning up.

“So, Randolph, weren’t you about to ask me something?” She reminds him, giving him a peck on his nose.

“Yeah, right. Were you and Chuck that kind of couple who celebrates something like a month-versary?”

Blair bursts out laughing.

"It was anyone’s guess if Chuck and I would stay together the day after, let alone celebrate a month-versary!”

Dan smiles, hearing that.

“And before you ask, Nate was the opposite, I mean, he was so suffocating he wanted to celebrate a day-versary… What could I expect from someone who bought a house for us both after only a few weeks together?” She goes on, making him laugh.

“If my memory serves me right, there was someone else who tried to make you the new Princess of Monaco after a few months together…” He can’t help making her notice.

“Yeah, that was another kind of suffocating behaviour!” She rolls her eyes. “If my memory serves me right, one of the Princess' servants rushed to her rescue.”

Her hand is already playing with his curls.

“Yeah, and if my memory serves me right, after many vicissitudes and a massive amount of denial, the Princess fell for her humble servant.” Dan murmurs, caressing her face with the back of his hand.

“Mm.. and did they live happily ever after?” Blair reached out, her lips swimming Dan’s.

“Every single day of their existence.” He nods, kissing her.

A slow, sweet kiss because they happen to remember they’re outside, in the park at daytime, and they don’t want to risk scandalizing some kids.

“Anyway, welcome to a healthy relationship, where a boyfriend and a girlfriend do celebrate month-versaries… and ours is in a week.” Dan beams.
 

“Oh, really?” She shrugs, pretending she doesn’t know.

“Uh, maybe you’re right, we shouldn’t waste our time with this childish sentimentalism.” Dan plays tough, moving a hand in front of his face as if to chase away something that’s bothering him.

Blair chuckles, hugging him.

“Dan, I’ve knocked  at the door I had already opened three times, that night of almost two months ago, when I told you that my heart belongs to you; I still recall what kind of beer you were drinking, I know the exact number of times I’ve called you by your name, but … yeah, we shouldn’t waste our time in such childish sentimentalisms…” She makes him smile, before kissing him again.

And this time the kids around could spot a bit more passionate way of kissing.

“You’ll see, Blair, it’s going to be something special. I’ll think about everything!” Dan assures, with a spark of newfound excitement.

------------------------------------------ 

It wasn’t easy, since his publishers asked him to edit many of his chapters with a very short deadline, but Dan managed to think about every detail of the special night that is going to take place tomorrow.

He gives checks to the mental note he’s reviewing.

- I’ve booked that space only for us. I hired whom I had to hire. All the things we need are already in my bag. I booked the restaurant…. Wait. I booked the restaurant, didn’t I? Oh c’mon, it should be the first thing to do, of course I must have taken care of it! Only an idiot wouldn’t think of such  a thing!-

It would take Dan only a simple phone call to be sure of it, but… again, his chapters are calling him, he doesn’t have time not even to breathe, not if he wants to be done by next day, where he’ll finally be able to give his utter attention to his girlfriend.

------------------------------------------ 

“So how do you think I should dress for tonight?” Blair asks him on the phone, since he’s still at Simon & Schuster, for a meeting.

“Since the first day I've met you, you have never dressed in the wrong way; so this question is pretty pointless.” He murmurs.

“Aww, flattering, but not helping.” She snorts. “So do you think I was perfectly dressed even that night at the airport?”

“Of course you were. That hoodie and and that ‘I love NY’ T-shirt had that  je-ne-sais-quoi that only an evil dictator of taste can communicate!” He makes her laugh. 

“C’mon, Dan… I need a little help here…” She pleads.

“Okay fine. Any black dress will fit. I’ll be in black as well.” He advices her.

“Thank you, Humphrey, see ya later.. and, please, comb your hair in a civil way!” She hangs up.

---------------------------- 

When Blair leaves her penthouse there’s a taxi waiting for her, with Dan inside.

Dan, with his hair combed back with gel.

Blair kisses him in approval.

When the taxi ends its ride Blair finally figure out where Dan has taken her.
Butter.
One of the most elegant restaurants in the City.

Dan reaches the pit boss.
 

“Good evening, Sir and Madame.” He politely greets them.

“Good Evening. I have a reservation for two. Humphrey.”

The Pit Boss meticulously checks on his register.

“I’m sorry, Sir, I can’t find anything.”

“Huh. Maybe.. I used Waldorf?” Dan tries again, as a shiver crosses his spine.

“Still nothing, Sir.”

- “Gossip Girl?” - Dan is almost tempted to try with the name, but of course he opens his mouth to say something else.

“Let me guess… there’s no chance you have a free table, right?”

“All booked, until the weekend.” The pit boss replies, starting to lose his professional patience. “Now, if you don’t mind. I have customers to serve. Customer who actually booked.”

“What’s going on, Humphrey?” Blair hisses.

Dan sighs deeply, before turning to her.

“Blair, I’ve been so overbusy with work this week that… I .. huh… I kiiiiiinda forgot to make reservations.” He explains, as he leads her to the exit.

“WHAAT?!” She snaps. “How can it be possible?”

“Well, things like this may happen.” Dan shrugs as he grabs the phone to call another cab.

“Well, with Chuck it never happened. And even with Louis!” She strikes back, determined to test his ‘not jealous boyfriend’ attitude.

“Well, it’s even too easy if you date the Monarch of Manhattan and the Prince of Monaco!” He rolls his eyes. “ But now, fresh news, Blair, you ended up with an artist and artists can be a little absent-minded sometimes!”

“So, Humphrey, why don’t you admit your defeat? I trusted you for arranging a special night and the result is a special disaster!” She reproaches him, rather defiant. “Let’s go to my place, maybe Dorota can prepare something to us…”

“Nope, Blair, I promised you a special night and that’s what we’re going to have.” He walks her towards the cab that’s arrived.

“But I’m hungry!” She complaints.

“I know, but keep quiet, sweetheart, I’m going to fix this problem too.” He assures her. “To the MET, thanks.” He instructs the driver.

And that’s when he figures out what he just said… and how Blair is glaring at him.

“What did you call me?!” She frowns.

“Sweet... sweetheart, I guess.” Dan babbles.

“But you’re not even the kind of guy who uses petnames.”

“I know… but somehow it escaped my mouth.” Dan shrugs, rather nervous.

“Dan. Do I really strike you as .. sweet?” She frowns again.

“Huh, no, never! You’re the quintessence of sourness. Oh, wait. Should I call you sourheart?” He makes her laugh.

The taxi reaches the destination and when they get off the car Blair is quite puzzled.
 

“Why is the MET so… empty?”

“Because tonight The MET is only for us.”

Blair stares at him speechless.

“Oh. I didn’t know it could be booked.”

“Actually it isn’t, but you know… when an award winning young best seller informs them that he would like to include this museum in his next novel and so he needs some proper time to study it and get inspired… things change.” He winks at her.

“Very shrewd, Humphrey.” She smiles, as he leads her to the steps.

“Luckily, you’re not dressed too elegantly.”

Unfortunately he has just said the right thing, but in the most possible wrong way.

Blair glares at him.

“Humphrey, are you aiming to be pushed down the steps, getting a concussion?” 

- Definitely NOT sweet! - Dan muses.

“Please, forgive me, bad choice of words. I mean, you look astonishing, as always, but I’m happy you didn’t wear one of those pompous gala dresses, so you can sit down pretty comfortably.”

“Oh well, with all this cushions it’s impossible not to be comfy.” She smiles, sitting on one of them.

“Glad you enjoyed them. Since we’re going to spend some time here, I thought it would be nicer with some comforts.” He winks at her. “Which leads me to think we still have to eat.”

“Yes, please, Dan, I’m starving!” She whines.

“Be right back.”

And Dan keeps his words, coming back a few minutes later, holding two hotdogs he bought at the kiosk.

“You’re kidding me!” Blair looks at him, suspiciously.

“Do you have any other ideas? Due to my little mess, it’s impossible to find another restaurant now. Besides, weren’t you hungry?” He hands her the hotdog and a bottle of beer.

“Of course I am!” She gives in, placing another cushion on her lap, not to get her dress spoiled.

“Deal, then. If you think about it, this is the glimpse of Brooklyn we missed in order to balance both of our worlds.” He smiles at her, about to sit down. “Wait… should I leave you alone at the top or do you accept my company at the same level?”

“Granted, for this time.” She plays hard to get and this amuses them both.

“Do you mind a toast with the beers?” Dan suggests. “I mean, we can always celebrate with champagne and strawberries later, when we’re back in your room.”

“Deal.” She makes their bottle clink. “Happy month-versary, Dan!”

“Happy month-versary, Blair. You know, I preferred not to celebrate the first month, because, you know, it was still the beginning.. but.. two months sound more like something meant to last.”

She pulls him closer by the collar of his grey shirt.

“Mm. Yes, the conditions are right.” She beams against his lips, before a slow, tender kiss.
 

They part only to drink.

“Humphrey, I swear that if someone takes a pic of me eating this and Gossip Girl posts a blast we’ll have to think soon of another celebration: your funeral!” She makes him laugh, as they are eating.

“Lucky for us, we’re the only ones here… but even if it happens I’ll beg Gossip Girl to have some mercy… although I don’t think she can be corrupted with the novel issue as well.” He makes her laugh.

“Plus, on second thought, maybe it’s better if we didn’t dine at Butter, I don't have the greatest memories of that place. You know… your dear little sister’s dirty trick of some years ago.” She rolls her eyes.

“Oh, yeah, I remember that blast from Gossip Girl. That’s why I wanted to take you there, to get some new, better memories… but probably that place must be cursed!” He shrugs and they laugh again.

Just after they’re done with the very informal dinner, Blair sees four people placing chairs on the street, in front of them.
They also have musical instruments, more specifically two violins, a cello and a viola.
They place the music stands with the sheets on music and get ready to start.

“What’s going on, Dan?”

Dan smirks.

“A little surprise for you.”

The string quartet begins their performance and Blair immediately recognizes the song.

“But it’s ‘With or without you’!”

“Yeah, very fitting for us, don’t you think so?” He murmurs, before kissing her.

Dan parts only to sing to her his favorite part 

“Through the storm we reach the shore

You give it all but I want more

And I'm waiting for you

With or without you

With or without you

I can't live

With or without you “
 

Blair stares at him enraptured, and then she decides to join him in the chorus.

The MET only for them, the awesome music, the starry sky all above their heads.

That’s a special night for sure and Blair won’t forget that so easily.

Once the string quartet is done, Dan and Blair clap their hands at them and they leave.

“Let me tell you, Blair, you sang far better than when you did that karaoke video!” 

She chuckles, maybe it’s the beer that prevents her from getting angry at the memories of her sabotaged birthday.

“Trust me, Humphrey, if your career as writer should fail, you can try one as a singer!”
 

“Well, well, Waldorf, is it your way to pay me a compliment?” He smirks.

“I’m just saying that you should sing to me more often, especially in bed!”

“Like a reverse juke boxe?” Dan giggles.

“Why reverse?” She frowns.

“Because it’s me who inserts… the token in you!”

Blair bursts out laughing,

“Please, Mr. Bestseller, tell me your next novel won't have these oh so cheesy speeches!”

“I can’t make any promises!”

Blair shivers, out of the blue.

“Of course, now it starts getting colder.” Dan nods and gets up, going to a corner, where he comes back from holding a pile of plaids.

He places one on their lap and one around their shoulders.

“Much better now.” She approves, kissing him.

“Good. Because I still plan something before we can go.”

Saying so, Dan takes his laptop from his bag, along with something that Blair didn’t expect.

“But… this is the DVD of the very first movie we saw together at the cinema, last year!” She comments, very impressed.

Dan nods and inserts the DVD in the player.

“I’ll have a chance to focus better on it, the first time the constant noise of you stealing my popcorn kept distracting me!”

Blair pinches his hip.

“You, shameless liar! I just had a tiny taste at the beginning…” She counters.

“And in the middle, and in the end, until you empty more than half of them!” Dan strikes back and they laugh.
 

“So do you think you’ll keep focused on the movie all time long this time?” Blair challenges him with her look.

Dan nods.
 

“We’ll see.” She sneers.

When they are in the middle of the movie, Blair’s hand slips not only under the plaid, but on Dan’s crotch, too.

He startles.

“Blair, whaaaat?”

“Told you I wouldn’t let you focus on the movie… Do you mind if I have some fun with your… token, in the meantime?” She wonders, playing innocent.

“Huh! You know what? I guess we should go, we can watch the movie at home, where you’re free to give my… token all the attentions that you want!”

“Wise idea!” She smirks, as he gathers all his stuff.

“Okay, let’s go, sweetheart.” He wraps an arm around her waist. “Geez, sorry.I don’t know why I did that again.”

“Well… there’s no need to apologize. Just, tell me, did you use to call also Serena that way? Or… Vanessa?”

Dan chuckles.

“Who’s about to act like a jealous girlfriend?” He teases her. “However, nope. Told you it’s not what I usually do. Unless… do you want me to call you ‘sweetheart’ again?”

“Just and only on our month-versary days!” 

--

THE END