Lexx: Twisted Interludes

*This story is written in play/script format. Most scenes and dialogues are word for word, but I did make some changes*

It has been nearly 4,000 years since the Lexx drifted through the Dark Universe after it ran out of fuel to propel itself in deep space. Once the Lexx reached the orbit of two planets, 790‘s roller-cart fails to function and descends off the bridge. Since the Lexx crew are in deep cryo-sleep, it was hard for 790 to wake up Xev from under the bridge, where he gets stuck. The robot-head weeps in the meantime. Also, during this time, a middle-aged blonde, with spiked hair and wears a blue cloak and choker, is in a gondola and trying to attempt to reach the Lexx. This guy, along with two other balloonist, is Prince. Prince and his lackies are going around the inside of the Lexx and checking things out. When they enter the bridge, they hear 790‘s weeping and one of the balloonist gets 790 from where it’s stuck and bring 790 to Prince, who is standing up on the pedestal.



790: Bring me to Xev.



790 demands.



Prince: Who is Xev?



790: My beloved darling, Xev, is the greatest woman who ever lived and I demand that you wake her at once.



Prince: Who else is on board, exactly?



Prince asks as he climbs down from the pedestal.



790: A security guard named Stanley Tweedle, who has no importance any time or place, and a dead assassin named Kai.



790 changes the subject, but a little demanding.



790: Bring me to her, at once, or...



Prince: Or what?



790: I’ll wake her myself.



Prince: How?



790: I would have wakened her up, a long time ago, but the cryo-pod control unit couldn’t hear me from down there where I was stuck.



Prince: So, she’s the important one?



790: Without a doubt.



Prince: Good.



790: So, are you gonna bring me to her?



Without care, Prince says “no” and drops 790 off the edge of the bridge. 790 falls into pieces at the bottom of the bridge. Then Prince and his lackies head toward the cryo-chamber. Prince goes over to Xev’s cryo-pod and the glass. As he presses the buttons on the control unit, the end up waking Stanley instead. As Stan wakes up, Prince doesn’t give him a warm welcome, such as having his lackies threaten him with a knife to his throat. After dragging Stanley to the bridge, Prince gets Stanley to open up about his importance, where he came from and all about the Lexx itself. He thinks that not telling Prince that the Lexx is a weapon might save his life, but he was wrong. Prince ends up taking Stan and Xev’s cryo-pod down to the surface of his his hot planet, called Fire. A city called Prince Town and places Stan in the bellows for punishment.



Prince hovers over Xev’s cryo-pod until the heat defrosts her cryo-pod and she wakes up. Prince removes the cryo-pod lid, so she could get some air. She looks around and doesn’t see Stan or Kai and notices that she’s somewhere else. She sits up as she hears a different voice. The voice of a man with spiky blonde hair and wearing a long blue cloak.



Xev: Who are you?



Prince: I am Prince. Who are you?



Xev: I’m Xev.



Prince: Tell me your story Xev. Tell me everything. Tell me about your ship, the Lexx.



In the meantime, Kai wakes up from cryo-stasis and notices that Xev and Stan are missing. He also notices that 790 had fallen off the bridge, so he jumps off the bridge to retrieve the broken parts of 790. After 790 is repaired, by Kai, Kai turns the robothead around and the 790 falls for the first person it sees. Stanley, on the other hand, isn’t doing so good. He isn’t happy with his punishment and demands that he be free or he’ll bring on the consequences. Instead, Stan’s pleas end up getting him into more trouble. They force him to pump the bellows by placeing him in a guillotine.



Back on Prince’s city, Xev is tearing off pieces of her clusterlizard dress to get comfortable, turning her dress into a two-piece outfit.



Xev: Why is it so hot in here?



Prince goes on about the war of the worlds and Xev has no idea on what he’s talking about. So, she steps outside with him. Out on the ledge of his headquarters.



Prince: No one knows how long the war began, or how it would end, until now.

Xev steps closer to Prince.



Prince: Are you afraid?



Xev: Of what?



Prince: Of me.



Xev: Should I be?



Prince: Yes.



Xev: I still don’t know who you are, but I’m not afraid of you.



Xev steps out, in front of Prince, and looks out into the horizon. Prince approaches from behind her.



Prince: We bump the bellows, day and night, to keep the air cool. It’s the only way we can survive. We must escape from this place.



Prince changes the subject.



Prince: I sense a deep emptiness in you, Xev. Please help me.



Prince looks into her face and pleas. He starts to feel some passion for her. A passion that arouses him. Something that he hasn’t felt for a long time. Xev, of course, is emotionally vulnerable and wants to help Prince.



Xev: How?



Prince: I don’t know. You must tell me, cause I don’t know that you can.



Xev: Why?



Prince: It’s my gift.



Xev: I don’t think I understand.



Prince steps closer, to touch Xev, but hesitates. He swallows hard and uses his right hand to stroke her left cheek. Xev reacts by closing her eyes.



Prince: I have waited, for you, forever.



Xev: What do you mean?



Prince: I knew that somehow, someday, you would come here. Until that day happened, I will never know true joy.



Xev: Is that what you feel now?



Prince: Close your eyes.



Xev closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. She waits for what Prince to do something. Prince leans in and gives her a long, deep kiss on the lips and looks back at her.



Prince: Please help me.



Xev: How can I?



Prince: Until now, there has always been a balance. That’s why the war has never ended. But now, you Xev are the grain of sand that will tip the scales. You and your ship, the Lexx.



In the meantime, Kai asks 790 on what happened to Xev and Stan, but 790 has no clue and seems to not care. Kai looks for ways to get down to one of the planets, to go look for them, but realizes that there is only one more way. That way is jumping off the Lexx and onto the water planet first.

On the Fire planet, inside the bellows, Stan is getting exhausted and ready to give up. But, the only thing keeping him going is the guillotine.



Stanley: Where’s the dead man when you need him?



Back on Prince’s city, Prince and Xev are back inside his headquarters and continuing their conversation.



Xev: Where’s Stanley and Kai?



Prince: They’re dead.



Xev feels kinda bummed and a little saddened.



Xev: Stan was the one who had the key to the Lexx.



Prince: The key to the Lexx?



Xev: The Lexx only responds to the one who has the key.



Prince: Is that important?



Prince didn’t quite get what was being said. Xev makes sense of it to Prince.



Xev: The Lexx is not a grain of sand that could tip the scales. It’s a huge desert. Actually, it’s the most powerful weapon ever created. It can destroy a planet within seconds, but only if Stanley Tweedle tells it to.



Prince, dumbfounded, takes in this information.



Prince: He never mentioned that to me.



Xev: What do you mean? I thought he was dead.



Back in the guillotine, Stan has a close call with the blade before he is called upon.