Fun with Wood

 

Diane, it's 3:15 in the morning.  It is 45 degrees outside, and I sit in my  boxers.  I am pondering the day's events here in my room in the Great Northern  Hotel. I feel I am growing closer to solving this case, but every time I come  closer, I feel myself having more questions than answers.  

I went to the Double R Diner for a cup of joe and a slice of cherry pie at 9 pm. Trust me, Diane, it's like eating a piece of Americana.  I then stepped outside  to meet the Log Lady.  She insisted that I follow her back to her cabin.  Her  Log had something to tell me urgently.  Interesting side note, the Log Lady's  cabin smells no where near as much like cat urine as you would imagine from  looking at her.  

Diane, nothing I have been through in the academy could have prepared me for  what happened next.  The Log Lady proceeded to strip naked and ride her Log  right in front of me, riding one of the cut branches.  Perhaps it was to  intensify the bond between the spiritual realm and our physical realm.  Diane, I must be perfectly frank.  It moved.  I could hear "The Owls are not what they  seem," and "The One Armed Man is the key" in between hearty moans.  

She then toweled off her pubic region and bid me farewell.  There is something  in what she said.  Diane, I'm about to masturbate.  First I'm starting with my  testes and then I will work the head and the shaft.  I've already masturbated  five times after the Log Lady's performance, and each time I ejaculate harder  and harder.  I guess the One Armed Man could mean my genitalia - it is somewhat  like a baby's arm holding a peach.