Verto Cuspis

the turning point.....

chapter 1
The Stars were out in the sky as the impala speed down the highway. Its headlight’s cutting a swatch trough the dark night. The driver was stone faced and its passenger looked bored. Famine had been killed. Sam had killed him. But it had come at a price. Sam had drunk much more then he ever had before in demon blood. His system was flooded with it. The trip back to Bobby’s was done in tense silence.

Castiel having left them and Dean was still too angry at Sam for giving in, to even make polite conversation. The younger man was still too hopped up on the blood to really care. Even though he knew he should.

He voluntarily went into the chamber under Bobby’s to dry out. Not because he wanted it but because he knew that Dean didn’t want him on the Demon blood.

The rage that filled him as he started to crave the blood again scared Sam. He had never been an angry boy but the rage made him crave blood. Not only demon blood, but the blood of his brother, to kill him for doing this to him. Of Bobby for going along with it. For his father, for bringing him into the night world. He wanted to bleed the world dry.

He pounded the walls and shouted at Dean to let him out. He demanded, swore and cajoled. Nothing worked. The door remained closed.

Despite that Sam knew that Dean was outside and as his body started to fight the blood and fight it out of his system he was grateful for it.


Dean ate and slept outside that heavy steal door. After that first 24 h hours Bobby had made him shower and change. But as soon as that was done Dean returned to his solitary Virgil. They didn’t know how long time this would take, sense they had no clue how much blood he had drank. Last time it had taken days and had almost killed Sam in the end.

They knew that Ruby had given him enough to become used to it but not unlock his full potential to soon. As his brothers angry ranting started to die down the tired hunter fell into a fitful sleep. He would not sleep long. But he would sleep.


Sam was lying in a pool of blood. His face twisted in agony. The blood was not his own, it was the demon blood that he had thrown up. His gut was burning with need for blood and the kill.

The rage and the power, was just as addicting as the blood and the need for it was burning trough his veins. But one need was deeper then all the others. It was one that he had all his life long before the need to revenge Jessi.

It was as bone deep as his blood. It was ingrained in who he was and it was the one need that he always refused to deny, or give into.

That need was his focus not as he was de-toxing, that one simple need of his brother.

“DEAAAAAN!” He called out in pain his mouth smeared with the blood he thrown up as his system purged itself. “Please Deeean I need you..”

His voice becomes a needful wine. His body burning with the underlying desire he had for his brother. “Please I love you Big brother. Please love me back. “

His body by now was slicked with sweat mixed with blood as he rode out the fever burning trough him. His ramblings and calls for his brother were easily explained away as fever ramblings.

Dean was sitting outside the door. His soul broken as he listened to the person he loved more then his own life writ in agony, threw up, called for him. He understood the need in Sam’s veins. He did, he fought it each and every day.

That need for revenge, the rage, the helplessness. The feeling of power as you slay jet another beast and you know you have saved the day.

Deep in his heart he also understood the most feverish murmurs. He understood that this was Sam’s heart finally shown. Despite Bobby’s assurances that it was the demon blood that made his brother talk about passion and love.


He knew that it was the truth. Because he could feel it in his own soul. That bone deep call that he always had felt for his brother. That had only grown deeper as Sam grew into a beautiful young man and then into a handsome man.

He would slake the thirst in any willing body he found. He would drink too much and joke around about and with Sam. Dean would push the younger man away and pull him back in the same breath.

He had sworn to himself to never give in. But as Sam called out to him in need, he could feel his control slipping away slowly, one need filled call of his name at the time. He knew he could go away and leave Sam alone. But that thought made him sick.

So he sat there longing for Sam to stop his feverish ranting, and also dreading it.


Sam finally fell silent and fell into a deep sleep. His body exhausted.

Dean took that time to go inside the chamber and clean away the blood, even bathing Sam of the worst of blood and sweat. Laying him down on the cot he kissed his forehead gently.

“I love you brother. Please fight...” With that simple prayer to the only faith he had ever had, he moved back out to his perch on the steps upstairs outside the chamber.

It was even worse to listen to Sam, the next time he awoke. The sadness and desperate need forgiveness that Sam felt made the grown man sob like a broken child, curled up on the cot.

Asking for forgiveness from his brother, his father for betraying him, his mother for being the reason she was killed. To Jess, Even to Bobby. But the name that he ones again called over and over again was Dean.

“Please Dean please.” Became his constant mantra, as he started to calm down.


If Dean thought those desperate whispers was bad enough. The next words out of his brother’s mouth were even worse.

“Kill me please …….”


That was the words that broke Dean into going inside the chamber despite Bobby’s protests.


His almost silent steps made Sam look up from his cot flinching away from Dean’s inscrutable gaze. His eyes were clear and unaffected by the blood is body clearly exhausted and his heart was broken.

“Please Dean just kill me.”

“Why?” Dean’s soft voice whispered in his ear as he sat down on the cot beside the young man. How such a tall man could become so small Dean would never understand.

“I will never stop craving it! I will always be a danger to you.” His voice was so weak so broken. The pain made Deans heart ache.

“Don’t talk like that baby brother.” Then Dean in the spur of the moment decided to do speak with his heart instead of his mind. “You are my strength, you’re the only reason I haven’t crawled into that bottle long ago, and become a bitter old drunk like Dad.”

“I’m weak...” Sam looked up and meets Dean’s blue eyes.

“We are all weak. We are human after all. Only angels and God himself comes any were close to perfect. And even they are flawed in the end.” Dean drew Sam closer and into his arms holding him close.

“I will hurt you…” The doubts in his mind needed to be purged just as much as the blood in his system needed to leave his body.

“Sam, you hurt me when you leave. You hurt me when you almost die. You hurt me when you do stupid shit like this.” He kissed the top of his brother’s head and whispered his voice steady despite the silent tears on his face. “I still love you baby brother.”

Sam broke down crying again. Dean whispered like a mantra over and over again.

“I love you and I forgive you… “

Sam had fallen sleep and Dean remained watching over his brother. Brushing the hair from his brother face he didn’t look up as Bobby kept inside the room.

“So you think it’s over?” The man’s gruff voice was like music to Deans ears. He was eager to have this over with as well. But he knew he just knew that it wasn’t over jet. It had only been 4 days. Last time it had taken a week. But then it had been a long term use. This was just falling of the wagon. So who the hell knew?

“I hope so.” His face was tender. Dean didn’t care what Bobby thought of him. He was tired. Dead tired to the bone.

Tired of hiding what he felt from his brother, from the world. He was in love with his brother had been for years.

“You know this isn’t right boy?”

“What’s right about our life Bobby?” Dean said with a gruff voice. Looking up to meet Bobby’s troubled eyes. “Isn’t love in the end the only thing that matters for men like us?”

“You right boy, I can’t condone it but I will accept it. You 2 are too important to me …” He said as he moved out of the room. “I’ll bring down supper in a few hours.”

“Thanks…” Dean said lying down next to Sam, curling around him and fell back asleep.

He woke up the next morning his arms still curled round Sam. The younger man was still asleep. He brushed the too long fringe from that innocent looking face with a small smile.

“I hope you can heal from this.” He murmurs as he places a kiss on Sam’s forehead. The shocked gasp at his action told him that his brother had woken up. He backed up a bit and looked into the confused eyes of his brother.

Somehow Dean knew that this is do or die time. Either he acted on the feelings that he saw reflected in those dark eyes. The thought of the alternative broke his heart. Never speak or act on it again.

That thought was the push that he needed to lean down and claim those beautiful lips with his own in a gentle kiss. The feel of Sam's lips against his own wrenched a groan from his throat. Breaking the kiss he looked back down at Sam.

“Dean?” Sam breathed out trough still parted lips, still moist from the kiss.

“Perfect timing, brother. Bobby is coming down with food any second.” As if to confirm his words the brothers heard the footsteps of the older man on the stairs.

Dean let go of Sam and moved to stand but was stopped by a hand on his arm and a questioning look. The look made Dean smile and lean down and kiss Sam again. Just a quick kiss before Bobby came into the room.

“We’ll talk after we eat Sam, you haven’t eaten in days.” The older brother held out his hand towards his brother to help him up., Sam took the help with a smile, and without a word. Making Dean wonder, if something had happen to Sam. But as Bobby came into the room He was disabused of that notion.

“Hey Bobby, sorry to do this to you again.” Sam said smiling at the older man.

The comment startled a laugh out of the other 2 men. Bobby put the food down and hugged Sam.

“Yeah well if you do it a 3rd time I will shoot you myself.” Giving Dean a look the old hunter heads back upstairs. Dean smiled as he knew that that look was meant as a ‘you better make sure I never have to do it!’.

The brothers settled down at the table. Dividing up the food. They made small talk while they ate. Teasing each other like nothing had happen, just finding their footing before disrupting the relationship again.

“I might not remember much of the last few days. But I remember you have been here every step of the way. I want to thank you for that Dean. No matter what our talk might bring up.” Sam’s voice was sober as he looked own into his bowl of soup mopping up the last drops with his sandwich.

“No sweat Sam. Don’t think about it anymore. Ok... you would do the same for me... right.” Dean’s voice made Sam look up and emotional blue meet stormy brown.

“In a heartbeat!” Sam whispered. “What’s going on Dean?”

“We are finally confessing up to what’s in our hearts Sam... Nothing worse then that.” Dean’s voice was calm. He had a day or so to come to a point were he had accepted it. He had his freak-out and was ready to allow Sam his.

“I think your right...” Sam sad surprising Dean at how calm he sounded. “Been in love with you sense I was 14.” A half flirty glance at Dean made then older man smile. “Might be time to admit it…”

“My 17th birthday… was the day I first realised it…” Dean said with a laugh.

“This is weird…” Sam laughed. He might say that it was weird. But nothing before this had ever been more right.

“But like I said to Bobby when he found me earlier, what’s normal about our life?” Dean said with a smile. He walked around the table and kneeled beside Sam’s chair. Making the taller man turn to look at him. “I love you brother mine, I almost lost you again. And I don’t want to waste anymore time. Heaven or hell can say what they please. I love you and society be dammed I can’t hide it anymore.”

Surging up he claimed Sam’s lips in a deep kiss that took both their breath.
Sam took command of the kiss pulling his shorter brother into his lap. Caressing the broad back of his brother Sam groaned deeply in his chest. Breaking the kiss he smiled widely up at a smirking Dean.

His face lighting up in a way that made Dean’s heart melt a little more.

“I love you Dean. I love you so much. When I left for school, it was my last attempt at cleansing my heart and Jessie paid for it with her life. I loved her. But you’re my soul mate.”

Dean says his head on Sam’s shoulder laughing softly.

“You’re such a girl Sam…” he whispered teasingly in Sam’s ear.

“Says the guy sitting in my lap.” They laughed together holding onto each other. Enjoying just being allowed to do that despite the arousal making there cocks swell between them.

The silence was broken as Sam groaned deeply as Dean shifted his weight on his cock sending shivers of pleasure down the younger brother’s spine.

Their eyes meeting Dean swallowed at the naked need in his brothers eyes.

“How far to the nearest hotel?” both knew that nothing would happen at Bobby’s. Both respected the man to much.

“15 minutes. You think you’re clean?” Dean asked, worried.

“Yeah… what little is in my system should work itself out without affect. “ Sam said softly. He felt clear headed for the first time in weeks. And that other was despite the lust clouding his thinking.

They separated with regret, taking a while to calm down. But then again. Facing Bobby with a hard- on was enough to put out any fire. Gathering the dishes they headed up the stairs.

Sam enjoying the free air for the first time in days.

They said Good Bye to Bobby. The older hunter hugging both young men, before handing them a package with some food. He also made them promise to stop by before they left the area.

They agreed and Dean heads up to grab his bag. Soon they were in the impala, speeding towards the nearest motel room. Sam headed inside to get a room and felt a secret trill to ask for a double bed.

Walking back to the car he smiled to himself. Feeling free for the first time in a decade. He didn’t care what would happen in the future. He and Dean would stand against each and every obstacle. Together. Come heaven or hells.

He might be dammed for loving his brother. But he was lost if he didn’t.