The Friendship With Benefits Paradigm
folder
1 through F › The Big Bang Theory
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
14,670
Reviews:
2
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
1
Category:
1 through F › The Big Bang Theory
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
14,670
Reviews:
2
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
1
Disclaimer:
I do not own Big Bang Theory, nor do I make any money from this story.
The Friendship With Benefits Paradigm
KNOCK. . . KNOCK . . . KNOCK . . “Penny” KNOCK. . . KNOCK . . . KNOCK . . “Penny” KNOCK. . . KNOCK . . . KNOCK . . “Penny”
“What do you want Sheldon, and do you have any idea what time it is?” Penny responds as she opens the door in her T-Shirt that simply said, “Nebraska” that went over her pink lace panties and her fuzzy bunny slippers.
“According to my watch, which is linked to the National Atomic Clock, or NAC as the Science community’s ‘hipsters’ call it, it is precisely 6:15 AM and 13 seconds, though it would have been earlier had you been closer to the door. . . 18. . . 19”
“God Sheldon! What do you want!? This was supposed to be my day off”
“Oh, did I wake you, I apologize. Any way, it should help you to be able to accomplish more today given your early awakening. I came to confront you about a proposition that I have been pondering for some time now.”
She continues to give him her icy glare and with a monotone voice slowly responds, “Continue.”
“Well I have been thinking about the social custom that is known colloquially both for ease of use and to defer the true purpose of the interaction for a more ‘family friendly’ phrase as friends with benefits. . . . . . Though it has occurred to me that the benefits in which the two friends have is never explicitly stated. For example, two friends that lend money to each other without charging each other interest could be classified as friends with benefits, though that example is the exact opposite of capitalism, the foundation for economics in America. . . And given the conditions that I just stated, Myself and Raj could be considered friends with benefits.”
Penny leans against the door frame and pats Sheldon on the shoulder, “So you woke me up at 6:15 in the morning to explain to me that you and Raj have come out of the closet?”
He gives her a glare of resentment and coolly replies, “No! I simply meant that the given habitual term is ambiguous for many reasons.”
“So anyway, Sheldon, what have you been thinking about. . . about. . . friends with benefits?”
“Well I have simply been contemplating the possible prospect of the simple, mundane, yet worthwhile prospect.”
“Sheldon, I don’t really feel comfortable discussing these kinds of things with you.”
“Oh, Penny, now we’re both adults here. And also, I can give you true to fact reasons about why this, ‘encounter’, could be beneficial to us both. For example, the process of sexual intercourse has both physiological and psychological benefits. It releases endorphins and seratonins into the body. It would help you to relax, it would release stress, and, from what I’ve been told, it will be quite pleasurable to both of us.”
“Okay, Sheldon, listen to me. I know that I haven’t had sex in a while now, I haven’t had a boyfriend, and maybe I’ve been a little tightly wound lately.”
“A Little Tightly Wound? Now Penny, yesterday you yelled at the laundry because it hadn’t cleaned itself!”
“Okay, I admit it. I need to get laid, but Sheldon what gives you experience in such matters? I mean, aren’t you a virgin?”
“Well technically yes, I mean according to societies standards. But, the process seems incredibly repetitive and simple. . . In Out In Out In Out, in practicality, it’s like blowing up a bicycle tire with an air pump.”
“Okay Sheldon, I don’t know if it’s because I haven’t had my coffee yet, or because it’s been just so long since I’ve been laid, but I’m willing to hear more. Listen, come back at eight tonight. If we’re gonna have a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship, then I’m gonna need some alcohol in my bloodstream.”
“But Penny, that seems contradictive to the state you’re trying to achieve. You’re going to be contemplating a big step in your life. All alcohol does is inhibit decision making skills, so actually you will be less likely to be making an informed choice.”
Penny laughs as she closes the door, “Just be here around Eight.”
“Okay. . . Umm. . . Peace Out!” Yells Sheldon after the door has closed.
“What do you want Sheldon, and do you have any idea what time it is?” Penny responds as she opens the door in her T-Shirt that simply said, “Nebraska” that went over her pink lace panties and her fuzzy bunny slippers.
“According to my watch, which is linked to the National Atomic Clock, or NAC as the Science community’s ‘hipsters’ call it, it is precisely 6:15 AM and 13 seconds, though it would have been earlier had you been closer to the door. . . 18. . . 19”
“God Sheldon! What do you want!? This was supposed to be my day off”
“Oh, did I wake you, I apologize. Any way, it should help you to be able to accomplish more today given your early awakening. I came to confront you about a proposition that I have been pondering for some time now.”
She continues to give him her icy glare and with a monotone voice slowly responds, “Continue.”
“Well I have been thinking about the social custom that is known colloquially both for ease of use and to defer the true purpose of the interaction for a more ‘family friendly’ phrase as friends with benefits. . . . . . Though it has occurred to me that the benefits in which the two friends have is never explicitly stated. For example, two friends that lend money to each other without charging each other interest could be classified as friends with benefits, though that example is the exact opposite of capitalism, the foundation for economics in America. . . And given the conditions that I just stated, Myself and Raj could be considered friends with benefits.”
Penny leans against the door frame and pats Sheldon on the shoulder, “So you woke me up at 6:15 in the morning to explain to me that you and Raj have come out of the closet?”
He gives her a glare of resentment and coolly replies, “No! I simply meant that the given habitual term is ambiguous for many reasons.”
“So anyway, Sheldon, what have you been thinking about. . . about. . . friends with benefits?”
“Well I have simply been contemplating the possible prospect of the simple, mundane, yet worthwhile prospect.”
“Sheldon, I don’t really feel comfortable discussing these kinds of things with you.”
“Oh, Penny, now we’re both adults here. And also, I can give you true to fact reasons about why this, ‘encounter’, could be beneficial to us both. For example, the process of sexual intercourse has both physiological and psychological benefits. It releases endorphins and seratonins into the body. It would help you to relax, it would release stress, and, from what I’ve been told, it will be quite pleasurable to both of us.”
“Okay, Sheldon, listen to me. I know that I haven’t had sex in a while now, I haven’t had a boyfriend, and maybe I’ve been a little tightly wound lately.”
“A Little Tightly Wound? Now Penny, yesterday you yelled at the laundry because it hadn’t cleaned itself!”
“Okay, I admit it. I need to get laid, but Sheldon what gives you experience in such matters? I mean, aren’t you a virgin?”
“Well technically yes, I mean according to societies standards. But, the process seems incredibly repetitive and simple. . . In Out In Out In Out, in practicality, it’s like blowing up a bicycle tire with an air pump.”
“Okay Sheldon, I don’t know if it’s because I haven’t had my coffee yet, or because it’s been just so long since I’ve been laid, but I’m willing to hear more. Listen, come back at eight tonight. If we’re gonna have a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship, then I’m gonna need some alcohol in my bloodstream.”
“But Penny, that seems contradictive to the state you’re trying to achieve. You’re going to be contemplating a big step in your life. All alcohol does is inhibit decision making skills, so actually you will be less likely to be making an informed choice.”
Penny laughs as she closes the door, “Just be here around Eight.”
“Okay. . . Umm. . . Peace Out!” Yells Sheldon after the door has closed.