Walking away

Dean looked in the rear view mirror, his eyes misty with tears. He saw that beloved form step into a passing car, going in the opposite direction from him. Driving away from Sam was the hardest thing that Dean ever had to do.

But the younger man had been right. It didn’t matter how much he loved his brother. He couldn’t trust him. Also it was obvious that his brother didn’t trust himself. That was the end of the line. It would not matter how much he loved and trusted Sam. His brother would not see it.

He wiped his cheek and steeled himself.

I can’t trust him .. No matter what my heart screams at me. And his heart was screaming like a mad bitch to turn back. He wanted to return and take his brother into his arms and comfort him. A flash of shame mixed with arousal made his gut clench. I wish I could do more. My perverted heart and body can’t seem to realise that my beautiful Sam is my brother for Christ sake.

He drove as far as he could manage before his body was in desperate need off sleep. Stopping at a cheep motel he got a room and tumbled into bed. But he could not seem to get to sleep.

30 minutes later he turned onto his back and lay staring at the roof. His body ached with the need to sleep, but his mind would not come to a stop. He tried to figure out what was it that caused his insomnia. As he turned to his side, his eyes caught the other bed.

That is it. I miss the sound of Sam’s breathing when he sleeps. He smiled ruefully. You know that you’re in love with someone when you miss the sound of their snoring. He closed his eyes in pain as his eyes filled with tears ones more. As the sun peeked up over the horizon he fell into a fitful sleep.

***

Sam walked away from his brother. Feeling like his heart was breaking. Getting a lift from a passing car was easy. Keeping his composure was hard but he managed to keep it until he was let of in a small town a few miles down the road.

As he closed the hotel room door the dam broke. The tears he had been holding back broke free and he was soon sobbing leaning against the door.

When his tears were drying up, He had been crying for an hour. The emotional young man felt sick. Standing on shaking legs he dragged himself to bed. Falling down on the bed he pulled the pillow to his chest.

What am I going to do now? I gave up a normal life to be with my brother. After all I have seen I don’t think I will ever be able to go back... He smothered his tears in the pillow and cried himself to sleep.

Waking up he heard the smattering of rain on the window. It fit his mood. He hated himself for falling into Ruby’s trap. He had always prided himself on his intelligence. But he had failed to see trough the demons rues.

So much for my intuitive abilities. Dean had the bitch number from the beginning. But I want to see the best in every one. Even a demon… He felt disgusted with himself. His confidence had never been very good; his only pride had been his mind. He was ok fighter, but nothing like Dean. He was an ok actor. But Dean was a natural at pulling of the different roles that they played at times.

But it was not even it that his was jealous of his brother. He just wanted to be of use.

Now he didn’t even have that any more, he was a junky, useless. He could not be trusted anywhere near demon blood. He pulled the pillow tighter to his chest and tried to go back to sleep. He didn’t want to think.

But sadly his mind would not shut the fuck up. He sat up in the bed, rubbing the sleep from his face. I need Coffee and some food; I might actually feel somewhat closer to human.

Standing up he dragged himself to a shower. Sagely he ignored every thought in his mind concerning Dean.

***

A month later found Dean in a small town bar flirting with one of the local beauties. She was not hard to get back to his hotel room. They both were drunk out of their minds. A slightly hostile thought flashed true Dean’s mind. Could never do this with the brother around. Oooh loookie there breast’s…….

He grinned to himself and tumbled the giggling girl into bed.

He awoke the next day with a splitting headache and a sore set of balls. It seemed most girls didn’t like when you scream out a guys name in the height of passion.

Dean rolled of the bed with a curse. He really needed to check up on his brother. It was over month sense he had heard from Sam. It was as if the younger man had dropped of the face of the earth.

***
When he called his brothers phone there was not answer. A call to Bobby had gelded no better result. The older man had not heard a peep from Sam.
A quick call to some of there contacts showed no better result. It seemed Dean would need to find him the old fashioned way, some leg work.

He returned to the rest stop were he had dropped of his brother so long ago on that fateful day. Dean had regretted letting him go every day sense. It was past time to check up on the stubborn prick.

He recalled the direction that the car had driven that had picked p his brother. Following in the same direction he came to a small town about 10 miles down the road. Finding a local Dinner he stopped. Figuring that this was a good a place as any to start he picked up a photo of his brother that he had kept in his wallet.

Going inside he took a table ordering breakfast and an endless mug of coffee. When she returned with the coffee he smiled charmingly.

“You ladies usually have good memory for faces. I am looking for my brother. Last I heard he was heading this way. Here is a picture.” He showed her the image of a smiling Sam sitting on the hood of the impala. The waitress who was named Jilly took a look at the picture with a frown.

“Oh honey you mean Freddy. Yes I know who he is. He worked at the pub until a week ago, used to eat breakfast here every morning. Dropped of the face of the earth last Sunday. No one has seen him sense. Pitty he was a nice boy. A bit sad. Never did see him smile.” She said and continued on her way as the cook called out.

She returned with a plate of food for Dean and took a seat.

“It’s Charlie T you need to speak to. He was Freddy’s boss until he split. His landlord too, I think. He usually opens the bar around 15 for the early dinner crowd. You’ll find him there.”

“Thank you Jilly, you have been a lot of help.” They talked blandly for a few minutes until the cook called out to Jilly that the break was over.

“I hope to see you around sugar..” Jilly said with a smile as Dean paid his bill and tipped her well.

Finding the Bar was easy. It was on the main drag and it was named after the owner. Charlie T’s grill and Bar, was like any other place he had seen. But it did serve a mean T- bone steak. He enjoyed his meal when he returned after opening.

Putting down his fork he signalled the barkeep for another beer.

“You done with that son?” The man asked as he poured Dean another cold one. “The plate I mean?”

“Yes Sir, best damn T-bone I had in a while!” Dean said with a smile. “You Charlie?”

“Yes I am son, what can I help you with?” The man said as he took the plate from Dean and placed it in a bust tray.

“You might have a clue were my brother is.” He pulled up the photo again and showed it to the man.

“Ah yes Freddy. I was sad when he left, but it’s not unusual. But what was strange is that he left everything behind.” He said grabbing a glass and pouring himself some ice water.

“You still have his stuff?” Dean asked leaning forward.

“Haven’t touched the cabin he rented from he keep hoping he will get his ass back here. Best barkeep I have had in a while. You are free to use his cabin if you want.”

Dean was shocked. The man trusted him that far.

“Oh don’t look so shocked. I saw your picture ones in his things and pestered the boy until he told me who you were. And I can spot a liar a mile away. I know he was no Freddy. But he was a nice enough boy so I let him be. You want to use the cabin or what?”

Dean could only nod in shock.

An hour later dean was standing in a small one bedroom cabin. Sam’s things were scattered around the room. The chaotic order made Dean smile. But soon things started to stand out. The cell phone was there, Sam never left without it. His books, the first edition of Sherlock Holms that he cherished like a baby lay open on the floor.

The whole room felt, Hinky was the best word. Something had snagged his brother. Dean was sure of that. The question was what.

Turning to the computer that was still open. Restarting it he logged on using Sam’s password. When he saw what was on the screen he started to curse. Flipping up the cell phone he called Bobby.

“I need some help. Sam has been nabbed. I think it’s a collector. Seems Sam was tracking it. I know you can’t, asshole. But who is close by? Ok can you call her? I need backup if it’s a collector.”

A few hours later Dean was started out of his perusal of Sam’s notes as a knock sounded on the door. He got his gun and walked over to the door opening it a crack.

“Open the door Asshole!” Ellie said with a playful snarl. Dean Laughed and opened the door handing her a bottle of holly water in passing the gun never leaving the woman. She took a swig and then they sat down to look trough Sam’s research.

Sam seemed to have gotten on the Collectors trail about a week after he arrived at the town. There had been some animals gone missing. There had also been a pair of twins gone missing.

Dean smiled and shakes his head. Sam even got a few ideas on the location of the lair. But what made him wonder was why Sam had been taken. Collectors only took things that were unique that was one of a kind. They rarely just grabbed someone or something

He and Ellie bunked down for the night. In the deep of night Dean awoke from a nightmare about the yellow eyed demon. Then he realised that there was actually something unique about his brother. The demon blood running true his veins, the powers he was granted from it.

Sam told Ellie the next morning and they set out to try to pinpoint the lair, with the help of the research that Sam had already done. It was surprisingly easy. But then Sam always had a knack for finding just the right information. Dean never could figure out how he did it.

3 hours later Ellie was helping the twin girls out of the basement of the old house and a bloodied Dean was leaning on a limping Sam. It had taken a lot to kill the Collector. Its hide was thick, and it was strong. Dean had taken a sound trashing before he finally got the blade into the demons heart.

“You are a stubborn SOB brother of mine.” Sam murmurs as he lays Dean down on the bed. Quickly removing the older mans clothes he efficiently cleaned up the scrapes and cuts. None was deep, but they could easily be infected. He could see that his brother had lost weight while they had been separated.

Not that he could say any different about himself. He had not had any appetite sense that day either. Drawing the covers over his brother who had fallen asleep he looked around the cabin. He saw that Dean had made himself at home. His bag was in the closet and his gun bag open on the kitchen table. Sam shakes his head and walked out to the car getting the used blade.

Dean will have my hide if it isn’t cleaned. He sat down by the kitchen table polishing the blade. It was a medative motion. Soon the blade was spotless and was packed down in the bag. Sam turned and walked over to dean sitting down in a chair by the bed.

“Sam ... you need sleep.” Sam jumped as Dean opened his eyes and peered at him.

“Dean, you need rest more then me. Besides, there is only one bed.” Sam snickers as Dean rolls his eyes at him, and scoots further in the bed.

“Get in here, we both need sleep. Otherwise we will be no good tomorrow.” Ellie had taken a motel room leaving the cabin to the 2 brothers. Sam hesitated. But he had to admit that he was bone weary. He had not slept sense he had been taken.

Seeing Sam’s hesitation Dean lifted the covers.

“Come on Sam. Get your kit of and come here and get to sleep.”

Sam gave up and undressed his dirty clothes leaving his boxers. Crawling into the bed he lay down beside his brother. It had been 8 years sense he slept in the same bed as his brother. Laying his head on the pillow he whispered softly sure that his brother was back asleep.

“I missed you Dean.” he closed his eyes and instantly Sam was asleep. He did not see Deans blue eyes watching him. He missed the smile that curled the older mans lips and the whispered.

“I missed you to Sammy.”

Dean fell instantly asleep as he relaxed, enjoying the sound of his brother breathing safe beside him. Sam was safe. That was what was important.