Remind Me to Feel for You

Hey y'all. This was inspired by a few Nickelback songs, which I have labeled. It just popped in my head. I thought I'd write it down and see what you all think. :)
Sorry for any OOC-ness.
Oh, and I took the more...perverted meaning of the last song... You'll see. ;)
Enjoy!

How You Remind Me
Never made it as a wise man
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing
Tired of living like a blind man
I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling
And this is how you remind me
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am

Tony lay curled in a tight ball in his bed. He was tired, both physically and emotionally. After he and Gibbs had had a fight, he had come home and run himself exhausted.

The fight was almost funny, when he looked back on it. Gibbs had been going on dates with another redhead, and seemed to have forgotten he was in a relationship and forgotten to tell Tony, because he didn’t find out about it until that day at the office, right after a great weekend where they had barely left the bed, when said redhead came for a surprise visit. Gibbs had taken it all in stride, greeting her warmly and introducing her to the team. Tony had been, to put it nicely, chilly towards their visitor.

When Gibbs kissed her before she left, Tony had bolted to the bathroom, gaining surprised glances from Ziva and McGee. He slipped into one of the stalls, closed the lid on the toilet, and sat down, burying his face in his hands, willing the tears away.

When he finally had himself under control, he washed his face and hands, made himself presentable, and sat back at his desk. For the rest of the day, he remained there, silent. He couldn’t bring himself to joke around anymore; his heart hurt too much.

What hurt the most was the fact that Gibbs had let him find out this way instead of telling him. Why couldn’t he have just told me it was over? he wondered. If he had just told me he didn’t want to see me anymore, I can’t say I’d be all right with it, but I would respect his wishes.

That night, Gibbs confronted Tony after he had been silent for hours.

“What is it, Tony? I’m not used to you being quiet,” he had said.

“Why didn’t you tell me, Gibbs?” Tony had almost whimpered.

“Tell you what?”

“That you didn’t want to see me anymore.”

“Who said that?”

Tony finally looked up. “You did. Maybe not explicitly, but when you brought your secret redhead to work—”

“I didn’t bring her. She showed up,” Gibbs growled.

Tony shrugged. “But you were seeing her while you were seeing me. And you didn’t tell me about it.” Tony swallowed and continued. “Have you fucked her, Gibbs?”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

Gibbs’s always unwavering gaze slipped to the table. That was answer enough.

“Why, Jethro? Do you know how much that hurts?”

“I have to keep up appearances, Tony!” Gibbs’s voice had risen.

“What appearances do you need to keep? Do you hide part of yourself from her? Does she know about Shannon and Kelly?”

Gibbs didn’t answer.

“How long were you seeing her?”

“Tony—”

“How long?”

Gibbs sighed. “Probably a couple of months now.”

Tony’s eyes had welled with tears as he stood from the table. He and Gibbs had only been together for about five months.

“Tony—”

He didn’t reply as he went upstairs and gathered some of his clothes. He hadn’t realized how much of his stuff was at Gibbs’s house until now, and he couldn’t get it all, but he got what he needed.

He walked down the stairs and grabbed his keys. Gibbs was still sitting at the table where Tony had left him.

“Tony—” Gibbs tried again, but Tony cut him off.

“I’ll see you at work, boss.” With that, he left.

That had been at six in the evening. It was now five in the morning, and Tony still lay curled in his bed, unmoving. Even though he was tired, he hadn’t slept. He wasn’t even sure he could go to work today. How could he face the man he loved, now with the knowledge that he had been cheated on, and keep up the happy façade so no one would question what was wrong?

Making a decision, he picked up the phone and called in sick.

It's not like you to say sorry
I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
for handing you a heart worth breaking
And I've been wrong, I’ve been down,
been to the bottom of every bottle
These five words in my head
scream "are we having fun yet?"
yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no
yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no

Where is Tony? Gibbs wondered. “Ziva, McGee, where’s Tony?”

“Um, he, um, called in sick, boss,” McGee stuttered.

“Why?”

“Um…I don’t know, boss.”

That day at work wasn’t the same without Tony’s frat-boy-ish self; it was too quiet. Gibbs’s temper flared the longer Tony wasn’t there. McGee and Ziva were all too happy to leave when their shift ended. Working on cold cases wasn’t much fun, especially without Tony to lighten things up.

He didn’t come in to work for the rest of the week.

Gibbs had a date that Friday night with Charlotte. She invited him up to her room after they had a few drinks, and attacked his lips once they made it to the couch. Gibbs was startled to find that he wasn’t hard. He’d never had a problem like that with Charlotte before…

You also knew you had Tony to go home to, a little voice said in the back of his mind.

An image popped into his head of a naked Tony reclined on his bed, his smooth skin a siren’s call to his body, his sexy smirk an invitation to come and play.

His cock hardened almost instantly from the visual.

Charlotte moaned in his lap.

“Is that all for me?” she purred.

Gibbs stared into her brown eyes, not the green ones he loved.

Wait…love?

Yes. He loved Tony.

“No,” he answered Charlotte, lifting her unceremoniously from his lap and standing.

“What?” she cried.

“I said no, it’s not for you.”

“Don’t think I’ll give you another chance if you walk out that door!”

“I won’t.”

“Where are you going?”

He turned back to face her, halfway out the door. “Where my heart is.”

It's not like you didn't know that
I said I love you and I swear I still do
And it must have been so bad
Cause living with me must have damn near killed you
And this is how, you remind me
Of what I really am
This is how, you remind me
Of what I really am

It's not like you to say sorry
I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
for handing you a heart worth breaking
And I've been wrong, I’ve been down,
been to the bottom of every bottle
These five words in my head
scream "are we having fun yet?"
yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no
yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no
yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no
yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no

Gibbs sped to Tony’s apartment, hoping against hope that he could talk to Tony and apologize. And he never apologized.

He knocked on the door only out of courtesy, since he had a key, but there was no answer. Quietly, he unlocked the door and slipped into the entryway of the apartment. The lights were off, except for the sliver he could see under the slightly open bedroom door.

He pushed the door open to find Tony curled up with his back to the door in the same clothes he had on the last time Gibbs saw him, the lamp beside the bed the source of the light.

“Go away, Abby. I’m not going to tell you what’s wrong. I don’t want to talk.” Tony’s words were slurred and Gibbs saw an almost empty bottle of whiskey clutched in Tony’s right hand.

“I’m not Abby,” Gibbs replied, stepping closer to the bed.

“Well, Gibbs, come to fuck with me some more? I don’t think you did enough damage the first time.” Tony rolled his head slightly to glance at Gibbs, then turned the bottle up for another deep swig. How he didn’t choke drinking lying down, Gibbs didn’t know. It hurt, he had to admit, when Tony turned his face back towards the wall. “How’s your redhead?” he sneered, but it was ruined when he hiccupped.

“I don’t know. I didn’t ask when I told her I didn’t want anything else to do with her.”

“So who are you gonna fuck now, boss? Do you just have a line of redheads, trading them one for another when you get tired of ‘em?”

“No, Tony. I’m through with redheads.” He sat on the bed and took the bottle of whiskey from Tony’s hand. “Come on, you’ve had enough.”

“Fuck you, Gibbs. I’m not through with that.” Tony tried to grab the bottle back, but Gibbs had set it out of reach.

“How long has it been since you showered, Tony? How long since you ate?”

“Why do you care?”

“Because—”

“I know you don’t want to lose another agent. I get that. I’ll deal with this in my time, ‘kay? Now give me the damn bottle back.”

“No, Tony. No, I don’t want to lose another agent, but that wasn’t what I was going to say.”

Tony eyed him warily the best he could when he was falling-over drunk.

“I was gonna say I care about you, Tony, and I don’t want anything to happen to you. I love you.”

Tony glared. “Well, it’s a little too late for that.” He rolled away from Gibbs to sit on the edge of the bed, but he ended up rolling completely off the bed.

Gibbs jumped up to help him, but he was shoved away.

“I can take care of myself.”

Gibbs’s heart constricted as Tony carefully stood and stumbled towards the bathroom, pulling himself physically and emotionally away from Gibbs.

He had to do something. He had a feeling, if that door closed, he would never have another chance with Tony.

“I’m sorry,” he cried as Tony reached the bathroom door.

Tony froze, leaning against the doorframe.

“I shouldn’t have done it, Tony, and I regret that I ever did. I meant it when I said I love you.”

Tony still didn’t reply.

“I am so sorry that I hurt you.” His voice choked up with tears, though they didn’t fall.

Tony’s shoulders slumped. “Don’t you have a rule about apologies?”

“I don’t care about the rules when it comes to you, Tony. I don’t care if it makes me weak. I’m weak without you.”

Tony turned around carefully, tears in his eyes. “I don’t know if I can deal with this right now, Jethro.”

“Take all the time you need. For now, let me help you with a shower so you don’t fall.”

Tony nodded mutely, and allowed Gibbs to follow him into the bathroom.

They both stripped slowly as the water warmed, Gibbs constantly reminding himself that this was nothing sexual. He was just taking care of Tony DiNozzo, his SIC, his friend (if nothing more).

He supported Tony as they both stepped into the shower. Gibbs grabbed the washcloth and soap and began washing Tony’s body. When he tried to move away, Gibbs pulled him back, saying, “Let me. Please.”

Tony complied, slightly relaxing under the gentle touch. He had missed Gibbs over the past week, and even though his mind screamed at him not to let go so easily, his body still leaned into Gibbs’s.

Tony’s mind didn’t seem as focused as Gibbs was, since his body, particularly the lower part of his abdomen, began reacting to the pleasure and touch it had been denied. He bowed his head in shame and dejection, since he seemed to be the only one affected.

Gibbs felt Tony tensing again.

“What is it, Tony?” he questioned quietly.

“I’m sorry I’m not enough for you.”

“What do you mean?”

Tony motioned down to Gibbs’s limp cock.

He gave a short laugh and placed his hands on Tony’s cheeks, forcing him to look up. “I’ve been trying my best not to get aroused, Tony. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or think that’s all I wanted you for.”

Tony nodded, though he wasn’t convinced.

“Do you want me to quit trying? Do you want me to show you how hard you make me?”

Tony blushed, but nodded again.

Gibbs let go of the hold on his arousal and allowed himself to take in all of Tony’s wet and glistening body. He leaned forward and gently kissed him, grabbing Tony’s hand to show him how hard he already was.

“Are you sure that’s for me, boss?”

“Very sure. I can’t get hard unless I think of you, Tony.”

Tony blushed again.

“I’m not going to do anything yet, Tony. I want you to be sober and I don’t want you to regret anything. You’ll choose, okay?”

Tony nodded and pulled Gibbs into a hug. “I was waiting on you, you know. I almost didn’t care if I was your dirty little secret; I just want you. And if I couldn’t, I might’ve…”

“You might’ve what, Tony?”

“I might’ve killed myself,” he said in a whisper. “I almost wanted to before we were together, when you went out with your redheads. But I didn’t know what it was like to really have you, and I couldn’t.” He slowly lifted his eyes to Gibbs’s.

Gibbs’s heart stuttered, almost stopping, at the pain and sorrow in Tony’s eyes, suffering he had put there. “I’m sorry. I won’t do it again, I swear. It’ll be different this time.”

Tony only nodded, and they finished their shower.

Never made it as a wise man
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing
And this is how you remind me
This is how you remind me
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am

It's not like you to say sorry
I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
for handing you a heart worth breaking
And I've been wrong, I’ve been down,
been to the bottom of every bottle
These five words in my head
scream "are we having fun yet?"
Yeah, yeah
Are we having fun yet?
Yeah, yeah
Are we having fun yet?
Yeah, yeah
Are we having fun yet?
No, no

Gibbs put Tony to bed and stayed on the couch that night. He wanted to be there when Tony got up so he could show that he wasn’t going anywhere soon.

Tony woke up with a horrid hangover headache. He reached across the bed, searching for another warm body, but there was none. He sighed brokenly, as he had expected Gibbs to be there. The previous night was fresh in his mind, though it was cloudy like a dream. Tony knew he shouldn’t have believed that would happen. Gibbs never apologized. It was silly to think he would.

Tony sat up and found himself in pajama pants instead of the clothes he hadn’t changed out of in a week.

Must have sleep-showered… he thought to himself, carefully standing and heading to the bathroom for some ibuprofen for his massive headache.

His stomach growled loudly, so he left his bedroom in search of something edible.

What he found was Gibbs in his kitchen, cooking pancakes.

Gibbs turned, somehow knowing Tony was there, and smiled softly.

“Hey, Tony. I thought you might like some pancakes… How did you sleep?” Gibbs asked quietly.

“I think I still am…”

Gibbs set the pan of cooking pancakes off the burner and approached Tony. “Last night wasn’t a dream, Tony, nor is today. Everything I said was true. I really love you, and I am so sorry.”

Tony blinked. “Why are you still here?”

“I wanted you to know that I’m not leaving ever again. I swear it.”

Tony blinked again. “I don’t know if I can deal with this right now.”

“You said the same thing last night.”

“So why are you here?”

“I told you; I want you to know that I’m not leaving. And I wanted you to have a decent breakfast.” He went back to the pan to finish up the last of the pancakes.

“Thanks. Now will you leave?”

Gibbs’s actions paused. He took a deep breath and nodded. “As soon as I’ve finished these, I’ll leave you alone. But we need to talk.”

“Not now.”

“All right.” He set the plate of pancakes on the table. “I’ll call you?”

Tony nodded, ravenously digging into the food.

Gibbs sighed and headed out the door.

“Gibbs?”

He turned back around.

“Thanks for the food.”

“Anytime, Tony. Have fun with them.”

*

Feelin’ Way Too Damn Good
I missed you so much
That I begged you to fly here and see me
You must've broke down
‘Cause you finally said that you would
But now that you're here
I just feel like I'm constantly dreaming

‘Cause something's gotta go wrong
‘Cause I'm feelin' way too damn good

Gibbs called and invited Tony over at least thrice a week for the next month, even when they had a case. Tony, needless to say, was surprised, but he wasn’t ready to face the music, so to speak. But he was wearing down…

And one Friday, Gibbs pleaded in just the right way in the elevator down to the parking garage, and Tony relented, saying he would arrive later in the evening.

Gibbs did an internal happy dance, though he’d never admit it. He immediately began making plans for what to fix, when Tony asked if they could just have take-out for their talk. Gibbs agreed. He’d do anything for Tony about now.

Tony pulled into Gibbs’s driveway at 7:00. He didn’t get out of the car until 7:20.

Gibbs greeted him with a smile when he walked in. He led Tony into the living room, where the Chinese take-out was waiting on the coffee table.

They both sat on the couch and grabbed containers.

When they had both eaten some, Gibbs set his white carton down and turned to face Tony, who mimicked his movements.

“Tony, what do I have to do to get you back?”

“Gibbs, do you realize how much I loved you and how much it hurt to know you were going behind my back with some redhead?” Tony responded, ignoring the question.

Gibbs remained silent. Tony had never said anything about loving him, though it had been obvious in his eyes.

“And then you didn’t have the balls to tell me that you wanted some time with a redhead, you know, another replacement for Shannon. You didn’t have the balls to tell me that you didn’t want me anymore.”

“But I did—”

“Don’t interrupt me until I’m finished.”

Gibbs fell silent, slightly startled at the controlled anger and pain in Tony’s voice.

“You were selfish, Gibbs. You wanted what you had before, but you still kept stringing me along. Was it all a lie?”

“Was what all a lie?”

“All the nights and weekends that you held me close and said you cared, the nights that I was able to show how much I loved you when I couldn’t say it. I didn’t want to scare you.”

“I…”

“You what?”

“It was what people expected of me. And I…”

Tony glared until Gibbs continued.

“I’m tired of doing what everyone expects. I want you, Tony, and I don’t care what anyone says. I love you.”

Tony launched himself forward and attacked Gibbs’s mouth.

When they pulled apart, Gibbs panted, “Will you stay the weekend? Or just tonight? Please?”

He looked away. “Yeah… I might.”

“Let’s finish eating, shall we?”

Tony nodded and turned back to his food.

For 48 hours I don't think that we left my hotel room
Should show you the sights
‘Cause I'm sure that I said that I would
We gotta make love just one last time in the shower

Well something's gotta go wrong
‘Cause I'm feelin' way too damn good

And it's like, every time I turn around
I fall in love and find my heart face down and
Where it lands is where it should
This time it's like
The two of us should probably start to fight
‘Cause something's gotta go wrong
‘Cause I'm feeling way too damn good, oh
Feelin' way too damn good

Tony ended up staying the night. As Gibbs was getting ready for a shower, Tony appeared in the bathroom beside him.

“May I join you?” he asked quietly.

“Are you sure?”

“I’ve thought a lot in the past month. I’ve made peace with some of it.”

“Then whenever you want to,” Gibbs grinned.

Tony nodded and stripped, following Gibbs into the shower. While they cleaned themselves, he initiated little kisses and touches that Gibbs readily returned.

Before they knew it, Gibbs was buried to the hilt within Tony, who had braced himself against the shower wall with his head hanging down.

Gibbs moved, pulling himself back and thrusting forward, causing Tony to whimper and his breathing rate to quicken. He thrust quicker, growing closer to orgasm, because Tony felt so damn good.

He reached down to stroke Tony to completion with him, but…Tony was limp.

“Tony?” It was then Gibbs realized Tony’s shaking was not from pleasure, but barely repressed sobs.

Gibbs pulled out and turned Tony around, cupping his face in his hands.

“Tony? What’s wrong?”

Tony finally looked up with tears in his eyes, but he remained silent.

“Tony? Are you okay?” His thumbs stroked gently over Tony’s cheeks.

“I’m not… I’m not ready for this,” he sobbed quietly.

Gibbs pulled him into a hug. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I… I… You wanted it, and I…can’t…”

“Can’t what?”

“I can’t say no to you.”

“Tony.” He stepped back from the hug and held Tony’s face again. When Tony met his gaze, he continued, “I want you to want this. I can wait as long as you need. I’m very patient.”

Tony snorted quietly. “Not always…”

“No. Not always. But with you, I will be.”

Tony bowed his head. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey.” He tilted Tony’s chin up. “Don’t be. This is my fault, and I won’t let you take the blame.”

Tony nodded. “I just wanted to touch you…”

“You can. Just let me know if you’re uncomfortable.”

“Okay.” Tony looked so vulnerable…Gibbs gently stroked his cheek.

“How about we finish our shower and get some sleep?”

Gibbs pulled back the covers on his bed as Tony dressed in boxers and pajama pants. He tried to slip out of the room, but Gibbs stopped him.

“Stay? Please? Just to sleep…” Gibbs pleaded.

Tony was really out of his element when Gibbs begged and pleaded, even so softly. He nodded and lay on the opposite side of the bed.

Gibbs sighed and motioned Tony closer. After a pause, Tony wiggled up next to Gibbs’s warm body. Gibbs laid his head on Tony’s shoulder and his arm across Tony’s abdomen.

Tony froze. “What’re you doing?”

“Are you uncomfortable?” Gibbs responded.

“No. I just…you…I…”

“What?”

“You never make yourself vulnerable. And this…position…is fairly…”

“Submissive?”

“Not exactly what I was thinking, but…yeah.”

“I want you to be comfortable with me. How else can I show you that I’m in this for real?”

Tony looked down with a hopeful look.

“I’d do anything for you, Tony.”

He smiled softly.

“Will you stay the weekend?”

“I don’t know.”

“I just want you to stay and talk. Let us rebuild this.”

“Okay. I’ll try.”

Gibbs smiled as he fell into the first deep sleep he had had in over a month.

Sometimes I think best if left in the memory
It's better kept inside than left for good
Lookin' back each time they tried to tell me
Well something's gotta go wrong
‘Cause I'm feelin' way too damn good

And it's like, every time I turn around
I fall in love and find my heart face down and
Where it lands is where it should
This time it's like
The two of us should probably start to fight
‘Cause something's gotta go wrong
‘Cause I'm feeling way too damn good, oh
Feelin' way too damn good
Oh, oh, feelin' way too damn good

Tony woke up the second morning wrapped around something warm. He opened his eyes and was met with the back of Gibbs’s head. Gibbs shifted, rubbing against Tony’s morning wood. Tony groaned at how right it felt to be pressed against Gibbs’s ass. He had never experienced the feeling.

Gibbs had said he would do anything… Would he…?

No. He wouldn’t do that. He’s too much of an alpha.

But can you be so sure? He said anything.

Well…

Tony groaned again as Gibbs ground back into his crotch.

“Good morning to you, too, Tony,” Gibbs growled.

“God, Gibbs, it feels so good.” He thrust forward for more friction.

“Harder, Tony.”

Tony’s arm tightened around Gibbs’s waist as he pressed his cock deeper and harder against Gibbs’s ass. “I’m sorry. I can’t stop.”

“Don’t be. It feels good.”

Tony’s movements stilled as he came hard in his boxers. He pressed his forehead against Gibbs’s shoulder blades as his breathing finally slowed. “Did you…?”

“Yeah.”

“Really?”

“I told you it felt good.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem.”

“You’re not…mad at me?”

“No. But I would like to get cleaned up…”

“Oh. Sorry.” Tony pulled his arm back as they both got out of bed.

“Stop apologizing.”

“Yes, boss.”

“Don’t call me boss. Not here. Not now.”

“Yes, b—Gibbs.”

After they had cleaned up, they went to the kitchen in search of something to eat.

“You know, Tony, it’s been a long time since I’ve been in love,” Gibbs murmured as he fixed a couple of bowls of cereal.

“I know.”

“It never seems to end well for me.”

“I know.”

“But I want it to, this time.”

Tony looked up from his bowl, but remained silent.

“I don’t want to fight, either, though I’m not foolish enough to believe we never will. But I believe we can work through it, right?”

He nodded.

I missed you so much
That I begged you to fly here and see me
You must've broke down
‘Cause you finally said that you would
But now that you're here
I just feel like I'm constantly dreaming

‘Cause something's gotta go wrong
‘Cause I'm feelin' way too damn good

And it's like, every time I turn around
I fall in love and find my heart face down and
Where it lands is where it should
This time it's like
The two of us should probably start to fight
‘Cause something's gotta go wrong
‘Cause I'm feeling way too damn good, oh, oh
Feelin' way too damn good
(I missed you so much
That I begged you to fly here and see me)
Feelin' way too damn good
(I missed you so much
That I begged you to fly here and see me)

“Tony? Can we get through this?”

“I don’t know.”

“You’re finally here. That must mean you want to try. Am I right?”

Tony met his gaze. “You don’t know how badly I want to try. I just don’t know if I can…”

“What do you need from me? What do I need to do?”

“Will you give yourself to me?”

“Of course.”

“No. I mean really give yourself to me. Let me have control of your body and do with it what I wish.”

Gibbs thought for mere minutes before he nodded.

“Are you sure? You’re not just saying that to make me happy, are you?”

“No, I’m not just saying it. And yes, I’m sure.” He held his hands out towards the man he was in love with. “Take me, Tony.”

*

I’d Come For You
Just One more moment,
that's all that's needed.
Like wounded soldiers
in need of healing.
Time to be honest,
this time I'm pleading
Please don't dwell on it,
cause I didn't mean it

I can’t believe I said I'd lay our love on the ground
But it doesn't matter ‘cause I've made it up
Forgive me now
Everyday I spend away, my soul’s inside out
Gotta be some way that I can make it up to you now, somehow.

Tony’s breath hitched as he stared at Gibbs, who stood there with his arms out, hands palm up, waiting.

Gibbs waited until Tony turned toward the stairs, motioning Gibbs to follow.

“Strip,” he commanded when they reached the bedroom.

Gibbs silently obeyed, sensing Tony’s hungry eyes on his every move.

“On the bed on your back.”

Gibbs raised an eyebrow, but followed orders.

Tony pulled out lubricant and two silk scarves from the side table, set the lube on the bed beside him, and tied Gibbs’s hands to the headboard.

Gibbs shivered slightly. He didn’t usually like being tied up; he preferred to do the tying, as Tony well knew.

“Shh, Jethro. I won’t hurt you. Are you having second thoughts?”

Gibbs shook his head.

“Do you trust me?”

He nodded.

“Are you okay?”

Another nod.

“You know what I’m going to do, don’t you?”

“You’re going to fuck me.”

“I want to, but not unless you’re okay with it. I don’t want to alienate you. You did say I could do what I want with you.”

“I know. And I meant it.”

“Tell me now if you want to stop, because I don’t think I can when I get started.”

Gibbs let his legs fall open in invitation.

Tony groaned and climbed between Gibbs’s legs, grinding his cloth-covered cock into the bare one below him.

By now you'd know that I'd come for you
No one but you, yes I'd come for you
But only if you told me to
And I'd fight for you
I'd lie, it's true
Give my life for you
You know I'd always come for you

I was blindfolded, but now I'm seeing
My mind was closing, now I'm believing
I finally know just what it means to let someone in
To see the side of me that no one does or ever will
So if you’re ever lost and find yourself all alone
I'd search forever just to bring you home,
Here and now
This I vow

Tony took Gibbs’s mouth in a dominating kiss, forcing Gibbs to submit, which he did willingly.

Tony undressed, then opened the lube and slicked his fingers, preparing Jethro slowly to torture him slightly.

“Please, Tony. I’m ready,” Gibbs begged.

“I’m in control, Jethro. Understand that.”

“Yes sir.”

Tony shivered, his cock twitching against Jethro’s thigh. “‘Sir’? I like the sound of that…”

Gibbs grinned knowingly.

Tony covered his own cock in lube and pushed gently into Jethro’s waiting body. “You don’t come until I say so. Got that?”

“Yes sir.”

Tony twitched again. “You’re doing that on purpose now.”

“You said you liked it…”

Tony thrust forward quickly, burying himself and silencing Jethro.

Gibbs gasped.

“Nothing to say?” Tony smirked.

“God, you’re so big… Feels good.” He rolled his hips, but got a slap on the thigh in return.

“I control this ride,” was all Tony said before he pulled back and thrust again.

Jethro moaned as Tony slowly tortured him to death. He was so hard it hurt, but Tony hadn’t said he could come yet.

Tony ducked his head to watch himself move in and out of Jethro’s ass. He couldn’t believe this was happening. It had to be a dream…

“Tony.”

He looked up at the soft voice.

“This is real,” Gibbs said, as if reading his mind. “And it feels…God…so good.” He threw is head back and Tony latched onto his neck as he continued to move slowly.

“You’re so tight, Jethro. Has anyone ever taken you like this?”

“Not like this, no.”

“Someone has taken you before?” Tony growled, his hips snapping forward a little more forcefully.

Jethro gasped. “Yes. Only once. I wanted to see what it was like when I was younger.”

“No one else can have you, Jethro. You’re mine now.” Tony’s voice was gravelly and possessive. It should have scared Gibbs, but it only made him shiver in pleasure. “Say it.”

“Yours, Tony.”

Tony’s thrusts sped up as his pupils exploded with lust and desire and possession.

Jethro bit his lip and arched his back.

“I want to hear you. Let it out.”

“Holy hell, Tony! Please let me come! It feels too good! I can’t last.”

“What happened to that Marine control, huh?”

“It’s too good…”

“You don’t come until I say so.”

“Yes sir.” He thought of as many unsexy things as he could to hold off his orgasm, but it wasn’t helping much.

Tony pulled Jethro’s legs from around his waist and lifted them to his shoulders as he began drilling into Jethro’s tight ass.

“Tony! Please!” Gibbs was overcome with wave after wave of pleasure. “I’m so close.”

“Come for me, Jethro. Only me.” He brushed a hand over Jethro’s erection.

Gibbs exploded onto his abdomen as Tony gently stroked him to completion. “Tony!”

Jethro’s rippling and contracting muscles sent Tony over the edge.

Tony’s hot come sent an extra wave over Gibbs, who lay panting with Tony on top of him.

“Jethro… That was…”

“I know. Me too.”

“Thank you.”

“Shouldn’t I be thanking you?”

Tony shook his head, still not lifting it. “You gave yourself to me. For that, I thank you. For trusting me…”

“I love you, Tony. I’ll do anything for you.” He sighed. “I was so blind. Could you ever forgive me?”

“I think so.” Tony placed a chaste kiss on the skin of Jethro’s neck. “I love you, too.”

By now you'd know that I'd come for you
No one but you, yes I'd come for you
But only if you told me to
And I'd fight for you
I'd lie, it's true
Give my life for you
You know I'd always come for you
You know I'd always come for you

They spent the rest of the day in bed, only leaving to use the restroom or get something to eat.

They weren’t ready for work the next day, but they didn’t worry about it as they took another shower together that night, this time in a reversed position, with Gibbs balancing against the wall as Tony slowly made him lose his mind.

This time, Tony finished first, but he quickly dropped to his knees to finish Gibbs off.

Gibbs tangled his hand loosely in Tony’s hair as Tony immediately swallowed him down. His hips bucked away from the wall as Tony sucked harder, teasingly watching Gibbs through his lashes.

It didn’t take long for Gibbs to completely come undone and spill down Tony’s throat.

Yes I'd come for you, no one but you,
Yes I'd come for you
But only if you told me to

And I'd fight for you
I'd lie, it's true
Give my life for you
You know I'd always come for you

“Let’s go get some sleep before tomorrow,” Tony suggested, but Gibbs pulled him into a steamy kiss, literally since they were still in the shower.

“All right.”

They dried off and curled up together in Jethro’s bed in the same position they had Friday night. Tony brushed a hand through Jethro’s hair and kissed the top of his head.

They woke up to Jethro’s phone ringing.

“Hello?” he asked gruffly, glancing at the clock as Tony slipped out of bed to get dressed.

“Gibbs!” Abby’s voice sounded through the speaker. “Have you heard from Tony?! I’ve been trying to get in touch with him all weekend, and he never answered! And I went to his house, and he wasn’t there! And—”

“Abby.”

“I’m worried about him, Gibbs! He’s—”

“Abby!”

“—never out of touch! And he wasn’t doing good at all last month, Gibbs. Especially that one week. I—”

“ABBY!”

She finally fell silent.

“Tony is fine. I asked him to stay at my house this weekend so I could speak with him. He should be better now. He must have turned his phone off.”

“No, I found his phone at his house. He left it there!”

“Abby, he’s fine. He’ll be at work today better than he has been. I promise.”

“Okay, Gibbs.” She hung up without another word.

“Jethro?”

Gibbs looked up at Tony’s hesitant voice. “Yes, Tony?”

“Are we gonna hide ourselves again? I mean…”

“What do you want to do, Tony?”

“You’re mine, Gibbs.” The forcefulness and change from timidity to conviction was shocking.

“I know, Tony.” He watched Tony’s face. “No one’s going to get me.”

“They might.”

“Do you want to tell people? The team?”

“Maybe not blatantly…but not deny anything if they ask.”

“We can’t kiss and touch in the office, you know.”

Tony frowned. “You kissed her in the office.”

Gibbs sighed. “That’d be a helluva way for them to find out…”

“Okay…”

“We’ll talk about telling them later, okay? Let’s build this up some more first.”

Tony nodded. “All right, but I’m not letting you go.”

Gibbs smiled and cupped Tony’s face. “I know, Tony. I know.”

No matter what gets in my way
As long as there's still life in me
No matter what, remember
You know I'll always come for you
I'd crawl across this world for you
Do anything you want me to
No matter what, remember
You know I'll always come for you
You know I'll always come for you

They arrived at work in separate cars. Nobody said anything as they walked in at the same time. Gibbs patted Tony’s shoulder as he walked by to his desk, coffee in hand.

Tony smiled softly as he sat down.

Tim and Ziva watched him quizzically. He hadn’t really smiled in at least a month.

“What?” Tony asked when he caught them staring.

“You have not smiled in a long time, Tony,” Ziva pointed out.

“Well, I have something to smile about now.” He had to work hard not to glance at Gibbs.

“Did you get downed this weekend?”

Tony stared in confusion. “Do you mean did I get laid?”

“Yes. That is what I meant.”

“You could say that…” he winked and turned on his computer.

They didn’t have a case that day, but around lunchtime, they had a visitor… Charlotte.

“What are you doing here, Charlotte?” Gibbs asked.

“I came to finally talk some sense into you,” she replied.

“I already came to my senses. That’s why I said I didn’t want anything else to do with you.”

“Can’t we take this somewhere more…private?”

“No. I’m busy.” He turned back to the files on his desk.

“Come on, Jethro—”

“Don’t call me that.”

She huffed. “Fine. I need to talk to you, Gibbs.”

“Talk to me here.”

She frowned. “Why did you leave me?”

“I told you already. I was going where my heart is.”

“And does your heart come visit you here?”

“You could say that…” Tony had to fight not to laugh, while Ziva and Time were just watching the exchange, confused as all get out.

“Who is she?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“I think there isn’t another woman. No one has your heart, Gibbs. I don’t think anyone ever has. I think Shannon was a lie.”

Gibbs stood. “Don’t you say that.”

“Why? Afraid someone will find out you’re a liar?”

He glared.

“See? Your silence just confirms that I’m right.”

“Leave.”

“No. Not until I have answers. Who is this ‘heart’ of yours?”

Gibbs refused to answer as Charlotte continued to heckle him.

Tony had had enough. McGee and David watched, dumbfounded, as Tony stood and pulled Charlotte away from Gibbs.

“Leave him alone,” Tony growled.

“Oh, you must be DiNozzo, the loyal St. Bernard. And here you are, like a little guard puppy,” Charlotte laughed.

“Tony, let her go,” Gibbs said quietly.

“Why, Jethro, when I don’t care anymore?” Tony questioned, warranting surprised looks from the rest of the team, and a glare from Charlotte.

“I can’t call you Jethro, but he can? How sick is that?” she spat.

“He has more right to than you do,” Gibbs said.

“What the hell are you talking about?!”

“You heard me.”

“We dated!”

“I’ve known him longer.” He was going to avoid the exact reason as long as possible.

“So?! I know you more personally.”

“Says you. He knows more about me than you do. As I said, he’s known me longer.”

She glared and pushed Gibbs back into his chair. As she leaned over him, she whispered, “You will regret leaving me. I can make your life hell.”

“How do you know it already isn’t?”

“Because.” She kissed his neck, causing him to shudder in disgust. “I haven’t shown you hell yet.”

Tony grabbed the back of her jacket and dragged her away from Gibbs.

“I said to leave him alone!” he almost yelled, standing between Gibbs and her. Gibbs stepped forward a placed a hand on Tony’s shoulder, who immediately stilled.

“A little vehement, aren’t you?” She glanced between the two of them. A light seemed to click in her eyes. “You!” she pointed at Tony. “You’re the one he left me for?!”

“And if he is?” Gibbs asked.

“You two?”

He only raised an eyebrow.

“You…”

“I think it’s time you left, Charlotte.”

“I don’t believe you. You’re just saying this to make me leave!”

“I don’t trick people like that, Charlotte.”

“How can you be a faggot?!”

Tony growled, but Gibbs tightened the grip on his shoulder. “Calm down, Tony. She can’t hurt us,” he whispered right in Tony’s ear so no one heard him.

“Hey! Watch who you’re talking to!” Tim jumped in, standing and joining Tony in front of Gibbs.

“If you do not, you will have to deal with all of us,” Ziva added, joining them as well.

“You’re all insane,” Charlotte looked between them all. “All of you.” She turned and stalked away.

Tony relaxed, his body sagging slightly against Gibbs. “Thanks McGee, Ziva.”

Gibbs wrapped his arm around Tony’s shoulders, squeezed gently, and placed a kiss on his temple.

Tony turned and pulled Gibbs into a hug.

“She won’t get in our way anymore, okay?” Gibbs murmured quietly.

Tony nodded. “I want to kiss you,” he said so softly that the other man almost missed it.

“Let me talk to them first, okay?”

Tony nodded again and went back to his desk.

“Tim, Ziva, any questions?”

“How long have you been together?” McGee asked.

Gibbs sighed. “A while, but we just got back together.”

“You were separated this last month, yes?” Ziva asked.

Gibbs nodded. “Any problems?”

“No sir,” they said in unison.

“Good.” He stepped up beside Tony and leaned over the younger man, who looked up at him hopefully. “They’re okay, Tony.”

“I heard.”

He looked up to see if anyone was watching. Tim and Ziva were focused on their computers. Too focused. They had been watching.

Well, if they wanted to watch, he’d give them a show.

“You want that kiss now?” he smirked when he had turned back to Tony.

“Please.”

He leaned down and pressed his lips gently to Tony’s, but Tony opened his mouth almost immediately, inviting Jethro to swipe his tongue inside. He did, and Tony wrapped his tongue around the welcome invader.

Gibbs groaned and pulled back, stroking a thumb over Tony’s smirking bottom lip.

“You’re too tempting, Tony,” he breathed.

Tony’s grin widened.

Gibbs just shook his head and sat back at his desk.

“Did I just see what I think I just saw?” Abby gasped from the doorway of the bullpen.

“That depends. What did you see?” Gibbs replied.

“You kissing Tony.”

“Then yes. You did see that.”

“Oh. My. God!” she squealed, jumping and hugging Tony.

“Abby. Can’t. Breathe,” Tony squeaked.

“Sorry!” she pulled back and hugged Gibbs just as tightly.

“I’m guessing you’re okay with this, huh?” Gibbs laughed.

“Duh!”

Gibbs arrived at home, but Tony wasn’t there. He should be, since he had left before Gibbs… He grabbed his phone and dialed Tony’s cell number.

“DiNozzo,” he answered.

“Tony! Where are you?” Gibbs replied.

“At…home… Why?”

“I thought you were coming over tonight…” He hated that he sounded uncertain, but it couldn’t be helped at the moment.

“Oh. Um… I didn’t know you wanted me to…”

“How about I come over to your place?” Lord, he sounded needy, but he didn’t care. Hell, he needed Tony.

“It’s not the greatest, but…yeah. Sure. If you want to…”

“I do.”

“Ok. I’ll order some pizza or something.”

“I’ll be there soon.”

“Bring clothes and necessities if you want to stay.”

Gibbs smiled. “I’ll do that.”

Gibbs pulled into the parking lot of the apartment complex Tony lived in at the same time as the delivery boy. He paid him and took the pizza up to Tony’s room.

Tony answered the door almost immediately.

“You already paid?” he questioned.

Gibbs nodded. “We got here at the same time. Saved him some time.”

“You didn’t have to do that…”

“I wanted to.” He took the pizza to the small kitchen, set it on the table, and sat down. Tony grabbed a couple of plates and joined him.

“What made you come over?” Tony asked quietly.

“I want to be with you, however you’ll have me.” He took a bite of the pepperoni pizza.

“You’ve got a little…” Tony motioned at his chin, but as he raised his hand, Tony stopped him. “Let me.” He leaned forward and licked a bit of sauce from the corner of Gibbs’s mouth. Tony watched as Gibbs’s light blue eyes visibly darkened and his pupils dilated. “I think I got it.”

Gibbs growled and pulled Tony into his lap, bringing his mouth close enough to kiss. “Let’s go to your room.”

Tony didn’t answer, instead pulling Gibbs up and towards his bedroom.

Gibbs laid Tony down on the bed, pulling off both their clothes, and nuzzled Tony’s growing erection. Tony gasped as Gibbs licked a stripe up his cock; Gibbs had never done this before.

“Gibbs…what are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?”

“It looks…” *gasp*; “…and feels like you’re…” *moan*; “…giving me a blow job.”

“Well, you would be correct, sir.” He kissed the tip of Tony’s erection and suckled on just the head.

Tony panted in pleasure.

“Do you want to fuck me again, Tony?”

“Hell yes.”

“Do you want to watch me prepare myself for you, sir?”

“Oh fuck.” Tony dropped his head back against the pillows.

“That’s what I thought,” Gibbs grinned. He retrieved the lube and covered his own fingers.

Tony watched in fascination as Gibbs reached behind himself and slipped a finger inside. They both moaned, one at the feeling and the other at the sight.

Gibbs began fucking himself on one finger until he was ready for another. He was bouncing in Tony’s lap by the time he had three fingers buried deep.

“Jesus, Jethro. Do you know how hot that is?”

“Yeah, Tony. I’ve watched you do it a couple of times.”

Tony moaned as Jethro poured lube over his cock and impaled himself.

Gibbs grunted as the thick head of Tony’s cock entered him. Somehow, in a day, he had forgotten how big Tony was.

“You okay?” Tony held his hips still.

“I’m fine. I just forgot how big you are.”

Tony blushed.

“Are you blushing?”

Tony covered his face. “No!”

“Don’t hide from me. Please. What are you embarrassed about?”

Tony peeked out from between his fingers. “I’ve never been told that before…”

“That you’re a big boy where it counts?” Tony’s blush deepened. “I think I can make you forget about that embarrassment…” Gibbs shifted and sank further on Tony’s cock, breathing shallowly as he was stretched more than his fingers had allowed. Tony moaned, thrusting up to bury himself completely, while Gibbs smirked and pushed Tony’s chest down. “Let me take care of you.”

“Are you sure your knees can handle it?”

“Are you calling me old?”

“Me? Never…”

Gibbs smirked and silenced Tony by rolling his hips and impaling himself on Tony again and again.

Tony bucked, since he was already so close from the fellatio Gibbs had performed earlier. “I’m so close, Jethro…”

“Do you want me to come on your chest, Tony?” At the nod, Gibbs sped up his movements and stroked himself to orgasm as Tony spilled inside him.

“Jethro! God, I love you.”

Gibbs kissed him gently as they lay beside each other. “I love you, too, Tony. As long as I live.”

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