Hurt and Comfort

I do not own csi or the characters. I dont make any money from these writing or ever will. This is pure fiction.


Catherine rubbed her temples, willing herself to get a grip. She glanced at the nearly empty bottle next to her and grimaced. This was so unlike her. She was the supervisor now, she couldn’t risk drinking on the job. She had too much responsibility, too much was at stake, and she’d worked too hard to get here to throw it all away now. She shrugged and downed the last of the liquid in the bottle, wincing as it burned all the way down her throat and warmed her belly.

“Too late to stop now”, she thought. She let her head thump down onto her desk.

Catherine sighed again. Not that she was batting for anyone right now. She hadn’t technically been part of the game for years now. She’d been so busy trying to run a home, a career that she hadn’t stopped to think about what her life would be like win the future. But she knew: it would be cold and empty. She wanted to wake up in the morning holding the woman she loved. In her fantasy the woman in her bed, in her arms, was always the same. Tall, brown hair, sparkling brown eyes, and a kind of warmth Catherine had never known in another person. She groaned and pressed her palms into her eyes, watching the colors swirl around on her eyelids. Daydreaming about Sara was not going to make it happen.

She knew she couldn’t have Sara. She was beautiful, smart, kind and she was straight. Her school-girl crush on Grissom made that perfectly clear. Catherine slammed her hands down on her desk furiously. He was rude and abrasive and frankly just not a nice guy, but Sara drooled all over him. Catherine couldn’t figure out why. It wasn’t fair that the young csi look for someone who had no plans of ever revealing his true feelings for her- although she suspected they were there. Not when she had someone loving and willing to give and do everything for her standing right in front of the brown eyes. But Sara was Grissom’s territory - everyone at the lab knew that. They weren’t together and it didn’t look likely that they ever would be, but she was his and anyone knew well enough to stay away.

Catherine was about bring the bottle to her lips one more time, just to see if there were a few last drops she could vainly suck out, when a timid knock sounded at the door. The knock sounded again, more insistent this time. Catherine glared at the door, cursing whoever was on the other side, and stood from her chair. Immediately she had to grab onto the side of her desk to keep from falling as her head spun wildly, protesting the sudden movement in her state. She allowed herself to slide down to the floor and did a very characteristically un-Catherine thing; she crawled under her desk, willing the person at the door to leave. She silently cursed again as she heard the door open.

“Catherine?”

Catherine’ eyes shot open wide at the soft, tentative voice. Her head shot up before she remembered where she was and it collided painfully with the underside of her desk.

“Ow, dammit!” she exclaimed rubbing her head.

“Catherine?”

She looked up from her hiding place to see Sara standing next to her desk, wearing a very confused look, one eyebrow arched gracefully. Catherine sighed and started to crawl out from under the desk. Sara’s eyes flickered from the empty bottle on the desk to Catherine’ jerky movements and she realized what she had walked in on.

“What happened?” she asked quietly, concerned etching its way into her features.

The blond felt her stomach twist. This was too much. She tried to stand up, but lost her balance and felt herself falling back down. She prepared herself to hit the ground, but didn’t quite make it before a pair of arms reached out, steadying her. She looked up as Sara’s eyes bore into hers. Several different emotions raced through Catherine’ head, as if her brain couldn’t decide what to feel, and eventually settled on nervous.

“Thank you,” she whispered breathily.

Sara nodded, not letting go of the older woman’s arms, but loosening her grip somewhat. Catherine wondered if this was because she expected her to fall again, but chose instead just to revel in being touched, almost held, by the younger csi. Her contentment faded however when she noticed the slightly disapproving look on Sara’s face. She shook herself out of the grip and leaned back on her desk.

“I’m fine,” she stated, a little harsher than she meant. She cursed herself again when she detected a flicker of hurt in Sara’s eyes; she was only trying to help after all. “Thank you,” she said again, more sincerely. “What did you come down here for?”

“Nothing, it’s not important. Are you sure you’re okay?” The concern was back in her face.

“I think I’m just going to go home and, uh, sleep this off. And, Sara? I- I would very much appreciate it if…” Catherine ran her hands over her face, “if maybe you could…refrain from mentioning this incident to anyone? I assure you it’s a one-time thing; it won’t be happening again.”

“Of course” Her eyes twinkled. “Our little secret.”

“Thank you. Well, then, um, goodnight, Sara.”

“Goodnight.”

Catherine turned to walk out of the room but only managed to stumble a few steps before catching herself on a chair. She could practically feel Sara’s disapproving stare behind her. She didn’t want to face the younger woman and was very surprised, to say the least, when she felt an arm slip gently around her waist. She looked up, her shock evident on her face. Sara led her to the door, holding on to her superior firmly.

“I’m not letting you drive home like this.” She checked to make sure no one was around before leading Catherine out to her car. Catherine just stumbled along the best she could, still stare in awe at the beautiful csi. Sara smiled and blushed when she caught her friend staring. “Get in,” she said softly, opening the passenger door.

Catherine did as she was told and slumped into the seat. She closed her eyes, trying to ignore the fact that her world was swirling dangerously around her. Sara got into the car and pulled out of the parking lot. She glanced at Catherine to ask her where she lived only to find the older woman sleeping soundly. Sara smiled again and routed the car toward her own apartment.

When they pulled up to her apartment, Sara made her way to the passenger side and opened the door. She gently shook Catherine shoulder. “Catherine? Catherine, we’re here. You’re going to stay with me tonight.” Catherine’ eyes flickered open at this, slightly hazy from sleep and alcohol.

“I’m going to what?”

“You’re going to bunk with me tonight. Come on, I’ll help you inside.”

Catherine tried to ignore the mix of excitement and humiliation as Sara pulled her to her feet and wrapped an arm around her waist, leading her to the door and into the elevator. When Sara had unlocked her door they made their way into her apartment. Catherine glanced around. It was clean and well-furnished with hardly any clutter. She stumbled to the couch as Sara disappeared into the kitchen.

“Drink this” Sara said.

“What is this?”

“Just drink, it will help”

“God, that’s disgusting”

She didn’t answer, just disappear at what Catherine believed was the bedroom. She returned shortly wearing a pair of white sweatpants and a fitted light blue tank top and holding a pile of clothes to Catherine.

“Why don’t you put these on?” she asked. “I can’t imagine it would be very comfortable to sleep in a business suit.”

Catherine nod and made her way into the bathroom to change. Her head was slowly starting to clear and the implications of the situation were starting to set in. She was staying the night at Sara, wearing her clothes, changing in her bathroom. It was… overwhelming. Of course she’d made a complete fool of herself in the office, but maybe she could make up for it, maybe she could… She shook the thoughts from her head and splashed some cold water on her face. Sara was not interested in her. She turned off the water and dried her face. This was going to be a long night. Slowly, staying near the wall for balance, she walked back to the living room.

“In here.” She heard Sara call from the bedroom. Catherine turned and made her way to the bedroom and saw Sara sitting crossed-legged in bed reading a book. “Climb in.” She drew back the blankets on the opposite side of the bed and motioned for Catherine to get in.

“You want me to…share? With you?”

“Is that a problem? I mean, I figured we’re both adults and…it’s more comfortable than the couch…but if you don’t want to-”

“No,” Catherine cut in, “no it’s fine.” She climbed into the bed, a shock jolting through her body as her hand brushed Sara’s leg. She tried not to smile as she saw her companion shiver as well.

“Well,” Sara cleared her throat and reached over to flick off the light. “Good night,” she whispered sliding down in bed. She gave Catherine’s arm a gentle squeeze.


TBC