Good Things Come to Those who Wait

Pairing: Cam/John
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: AU, angst, UST, top!Cam/bottom!John
Summary: Cam and John have known each other for years and both have loved the other, but timing and John’s fear of being gay prevented them from being together. In the beginning of season 4, instead of Carter assuming command of Atlantis, Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell does… now with the repeal of DADT and being in the same galaxy, will they finally be able to be together?

A/N: This is of course AU; I have tweaked the time lines a little and changed a few small details. Also, I am not sure if this will be a two part story or more than that. I have a rough idea of where I want to take the story, but as I have only written about 1,000 words on chapter 2, that is not a definite. I estimate this will at least be 15,000 words or more. I have recently run across the Cam/John pairing and realized I really liked it. So here is my contribution to that category. Enjoy and remember, review, review, review!!!

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Chapter 1

May 12, 1995

The first time Lt. Cameron Mitchell set eyes on John Sheppard he was sure he had never seen anything so beautiful in his life. The fact that it was a man wasn’t lost on him. Most would not think of a man as beautiful… handsome, striking, rugged, even manly, but not usually beautiful. To Cam though, he was beautiful.

The man had a casual sexuality that rolled off him in waves; a tall, but lithe figure, raven hair with a thousand cowlicks sticking in every which direction, sparking hazel eyes with an upturned smirk and slightly pointed ears. He had a sheen of sweat on his porcelain skin and his finely toned muscles flexed as he bounced around the boxing ring, evading his opponent skillfully. Looking like he was no more than eighteen, the man had a disarmingly relaxed stance for someone currently on the business end of the ham hocks Sgt. Jefferson referred to as his fists.

At twenty-seven Cameron had now been in the Air Force for several years. After attending college and receiving a Masters in Aeronautical Engineering, he had joined the military. Once making the decision to join, he had accepted that he would have to give up a few things over the years to achieve his dream of becoming an Air Force pilot. The least difficult thing so far had been his attraction to the same sex. He was bi-sexual with a preference more towards men, but had given up that side of himself when he became an officer in the Air Force.

He was sure the only reason it hadn’t been so difficult was the sheer lack of time or availability of someone to make him regret that decision. In the years since joining the Air Force he had been bounced around from one base to the other, his superior piloting and leadership skills had taken him far, leaving him little time to seek out championship in his downtime. The little that he had had been during his leave while visiting his family; the two women had both been past girlfriends that in the end hadn’t been able to handle Cameron’s life in the military. Cameron wasn’t the type for casual sex, preferring relationships to a quick tumble in the sheets.

Now, looking at the elfish Air Force pilot bouncing in the ring, he realized what he had lost. It was a shame because not only had he found someone that made him regret giving up so much of himself for his dreams, that someone was another officer and Cameron was leaving in the morning for yet another base. He had been at Andrews Air Force Base for over a year; it had been the longest he had ever been in one location since he was given his first orders.

“Airman… do you know who that is in the ring with Sgt. Jefferson?” Cam questioned as he watched the younger man duck Jefferson’s swinging fist, circling around the Sergeant in a quick move and landing a kick to his shin, making the man fall to his knees.

The young Airman on the treadmill beside him glanced over to the boxing ring and smiled.

“Oh, that’s Second Lt. Sheppard, Sir. He just arrived from Nellis a few days ago and has made a bit of a name for himself. Hot shot pilot or so they say.” The Airman replied with a chuckle as he continued his pace on the treadmill while watching the fight in front of him.

“Thank you, Airman…?” Cam asked as he began a cool down on his treadmill.

“David. Airman Kevin David, Sir.” He replied.

“Thank you, Airman David.”

Cam watched Sheppard for a few more minutes as he ran circles around the Sgt. And with a resigned sigh made his way back to his quarters to finish packing. He had an early flight out at 0600.

That night as Cam lay in bed, he wondered if he would be lucky enough to cross paths with him again. They were both pilots… it could happen.

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June 10, 1999

It was four years later when Cam got his answer. By then he was Captain Mitchell and leader of a squadron of fighters out of Travis AFB. As it happened when he did see him again, Cam was his new CO. Sheppard had been transferred into his squadron and under his command.

“Captain Mitchell, Lt. Sheppard reporting for duty, Sir.” Sheppard stated as he saluted Cam.

Cam sat quietly for a moment and stared at his new subordinate. Four years ago, Cam had been told the basics about the man, but not a first name. Over the years he had tried to locate him, wondering if somehow he was stationed nearby, but without more information he had hit a brick wall. It was surprising how many Sheppards that were pilots in the Air Force. Though he hadn’t found him, Sheppard’s brief appearance in Cam’s life had showed him what he was missing. Since that time, Cam had discreetly ventured into the world as a homosexual male in the Air Force. He had had three relationships with men over the years, two civilians and a fellow soldier stationed on the same base. Cam did think it was funny that he had only seen the man for a few minutes, not even talking to Sheppard, but four years later he could still remember that day as if were yesterday.

“Morning, Lt. Have a seat.” Cam greeted evenly as he gestured to a chair in front of his desk. “So you came highly recommended by my superior, you made an impression on Major Westwood a while back.”

Sheppard gave a small smile and said, “The Major was visiting and happened to see an exercise my team was doing.”

Nodding, Cam looked at Sheppard’s file. He was twenty-six, but didn’t look a day over twenty, promoted to First Lt. two years ago and a spotless record. His qualifying times were among the best and his experience in the field was heavy.

Sheppard hadn’t changed much since Cam had first seen him. He had packed on a few more pounds of muscle, but still kept the swimmers build that Cam remembered. A few laugh lines had started to appear around his eyes. He was still devastatingly beautiful and it seemed Cam’s ideal man in looks. Lips red and plump were slightly chapped maybe from a recent cold, but very kissable. His eyes still shined from within, as if an inner joke only known to Sheppard lit them.

“Have you been assigned quarters and stowed away your things?” Cam asked as he lightly tossed the file onto the desk in front of him.

“Yes Sir, taken care of this morning.”

“Good.” He replied and then stood, moving towards the door. “Let’s take a walk.”

Sheppard stepped in time with Cam and they made their way out of the air field office and towards the hangars.

“There are thirty-one soldiers under my command, including yourself, and a total of fifteen F-16’s in service.” Cam began as they entered the main hangar and came to a stop near an F-16.

Cam watched as Sheppard slide a hand almost reverently across the outer panel of the aircraft as if it were a lovers body and Cam couldn’t help, but shiver at the want that flared in him seeing the man’s hand glide across the surface.

“She’s a beauty… I’ve seen a lot and flown for years, but I still love to look at them.” Sheppard says softly and turns towards Cam. His bottom lip is caught between his teeth and he’s smiling in excitement. “So, when do I meet the men?”

Over the next year Cam and Sheppard got to know each other. Cam found it more and more difficult to deny his desires as he grew to be attracted to not only Sheppard’s body, but his mind and heart as well. The regs for fraternization in the military was clear and Cam was John’s direct superior. He constantly had to keep it in the forefront of his mind that Sheppard could be nothing more than his subordinate and colleague. In trying to keep that distinction, he only associated with the man in groups and never became so familiar to call him by his first name. Cam knew the moment he became John, and not Sheppard, he was lost.

Sheppard had a dry witty humor that made Cam so comfortable in his presence. His laughter and smile were so captivating; they nearly blinded him in their beauty. He learned through the other men in the squadron that Sheppard was a lothario around the base, charming and bedding the available women in his path. Often, Cam would smile and laugh as a recent conquest was told through the ranks trying to ignore the slight twinge he felt at the words, while Sheppard smirked and rolled his eyes when the stories came his way.

He remembered just a few months ago when with his CO Cam had pinned Sheppard’s uniform with a Captain’s rank. Those hazel eyes had glittered in the sunlight, happiness leaking out and infecting everyone nearby. The promotion had been well deserved after Sheppard had excelled in Cam’s squadron.

Somewhere along the lines, Cam’s perfectly structured cage around himself started to crumbled and John Sheppard slowly creped in. It wasn’t an immediate thing, more a slow built of letting his guard down in the office or having a beer with him after a long day. They began spending more time together and the lines between Cam and John Sheppard began to blur.

“So what are we watching again?” Cam asked as he slouched down into the comfy dark brown couch that dominated his living room.

John rolled his eyes and popped the vhs tape into Cam’s VCR. “It’s The Matrix, Sir… which I think I’ve told you about four times tonight.”

“Watch the attitude, Lt. I know you’re momma didn’t teach you to disrespect your superiors like that!” Cam said in a mock growl as John grabbed the bowl of popcorn from the coffee table and flopped down onto the seat right next to Cam.

“No, I don’t think she did actually, but she always told me to respect my elders, so sorry… Sir.” John said with a smirk as Cam’s eyes narrowed.

“I am only five years older than you, it’s not like I’m hittin’ sixty!” Cam retorted as he pried the popcorn from John’s hands and flung a few pieces at the Lt.

John laughed as the movie began, taking a handful of popcorn and chomping away. The movie passed quickly as Cam and John sat engrossed in the plot. Towards the end something happened that was so cliché that Cam might have laughed if he wasn’t otherwise occupied. Cam and John at the same time reached into the popcorn bowl and their fingers tangled under the fluffy snack.

Cam took in a heavy breath, his heart picking up and his body reacting to the touch.

“Sorrry, Sir… you-you go ahead.” John said quietly as he removed his hand from the bowl.

Giving John a forced smile, Cam took a small handful from the bowl and popped some in his mouth, the once flavorful kernel was like sawdust in his now dry mouth.

The rest of the movie Cam sat stiffly next to John, aware of every move, awkward shift and cleared throat. The casual camaraderie they had just a few minutes ago was lost now and in its place an uncertainty in what to do next.

As the film credits began to roll, John got to his feet and stretched. “Well, I guess I better go…” John rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, his eyes looking everywhere, but at Cam.

“Yeah, guess it’s pretty late…” Cam returned as he got to his feet.

“Okay, well, see you in the morning.” John replied as he made his way to the door, checking his pocket for his keys.

Cam followed behind John to deadbolt the door after he left, as he tried to get his emotions under control. Eyes to the floor he missed it when John turned around and ran smack into Cam. The two groaned in surprise and a little pain as they collided. Cam placed his hands on John’s hips to keep them upright as John’s hands splayed against Cam’s chest.

“Uh… sorry, I forgot my keys…” John said in a hoarse whisper as he looked up into Cam’s eyes.

Cam stared quietly into those startling hazel eyes, his breath catching as his throat closed. They stood there for a full minute, neither one saying anything, as their breath mingled and began picking up speed. John’s fingers, splayed across Cam’s chest, flexed slightly and gripped the t-shirt covering it. Cam gripped John’s hips in an unconscious move, pulling John against him as his hands slid down and cupped the firm cheeks of John ass.

Whimpering slightly, John bit his bottom lip and slowly raised his arms and wrapped them around Cam’s neck, leaning into him and bringing their lips to within an inch of each other. The silence in the room was only broken by their breath as they panted in need. Then in an instant they were locked in a kiss, their lips crushing against each others in an all consuming need.

Cam bit John’s lips softly, nibbling the plump flesh and laving the stings with his tongue as John’s hands slid up into Cam’s hair, carding through the heavy locks. John sighed and pushed his hips against Cam’s, their thrusts rubbing their cocks hard against one another.

Gripping John’s ass tightly, Cam lifted John into his arms and groaned as John instinctively wrapped his legs around Cam’s waist, the muscles contracting as he tightened them. Turning, he slowly made his way across the living room and into his bedroom, John taking over control of the kiss as Cam guided them into the room and towards the bed.

John’s tongue glided into Cam’s mouth and slid around as if memorizing every hill and valley, each taste and groan it produced. Letting up on Cam’s mouth, he travelled down the strong jaw and over to the sensitive skin just behind Cam’s earlobe and sucked for all he was worth.

Cam’s shins hit the bed and they flopped onto the mattress, each groaning a little as the jostled on the bed. John’s hands began to wander down Cam’s back and rubbing the muscled ridges. Thrusting down into John, Cam groaned in pleasure as his cock rubbed against John’s.

“Oh, god…” John murmured as he tightened his grasp on Cam.

As one they began clawing at each other’s clothes, exposing inch after inch of flesh as the articles were removed. Soon, they were bare, their bodies thrusting against bare skin, their cries of pleasure increasing. Running his hand down John’s muscled thigh, he gripped the underside of John’s knee, fitting his body perfectly into the space between John’s spread thighs.

“Cameron…” John breathed against Cam’s lips in ecstasy as he tightened his hold around Cam.

“John… yes…” Cam whispered in assurance, thrusting faster against the man beneath him.

“Please… I want you inside me…” cried John as he flung his head back, exposing his pale thin throat.

Cam reached over and pulled open the drawer in his bedside table and removed lube and a condom. Uncapping the lube, he pulled back and kneeled in between John’s spread thighs, looking at the pink entrance to John’s body. He groaned as he thought about that hole wrapped around his cock, squeezing tightly as he pounded into John’s body. Coating his fingers, he rubbed lightly around the small puckered hole and then slowly eased in a finger.

John tensed; his fingers gripped the bedding below him. Cam leaned down and blew softly onto John’s cock, trying to get him to relax. Licking the underside of John’s cock from base to tip he then opened his mouth and took the head inside. Cam swirled his tongue around the tip as John gasped in pleasure and then Cam pushed the finger all the way inside John in one smooth move. He pulled the finger out to the first knuckle and then pushed it back in, John mewing in bliss as he did so. Pulling off of John’s cock, he continued to thrust the finger in and out, eliciting cries from his lover.

After a few minutes, Cam pulled the finger out and then pushed two back into the tight entrance. John took them with a sigh and pushed down onto the fingers as Cam leaned down again and this time took John’s cock completely in one gulp.

“Please… please… yess!” John’s back bowed off of the bed as he yelled, thrusting up into Cam’s mouth.

Cam swirled his tongue around the hard cock in his mouth, his throat constricting as he swallowed. John released his hands from the bedding and ran them through Cam’s hair, gripping his head tightly as he pushed inside Cam.

Cam scissored his fingers inside John and curved them, finding the cluster of nerves in John’s ass and rubbing as he used his free hand to fondle John’s balls. John shouted and then Cam felt John’s balls tighten and then a flood of warm cum burst into his mouth, Cam swallowed the salty bitter liquid in gulps, trying to catch every last drop.

He continued to lap at John’s softening cock and then withdrew as John mewed in pleasure. Pulling his fingers from John’s ass, Cam hurried and ripped open a condom, slipping it onto his hard length. Slicking the cock with lube he then brought his cock to John’s entrance and looked up at him.

“John, open your eyes and look at me…” Cam said quietly.

John’s heavy lids opened, his face relaxed and satisfied grin surfaced as Cam stared, his breath catching at the open desire in his eyes.

“Cameron…”

“I’m here, baby…” Cam whispered and slowly pushed the head of his cock pasted the tight ring.

John stiffened at the breach and cried out. Cam leaned over John and kissed him. After a minute, John nodded and Cam slowly pushed in an inch at a time until he hit bottom, his balls resting against John’s ass.

“Ugghhh…” John groaned and wrapped his arms around Cam, his head resting against Cam’s shoulder.

“It’s alright…” Cam said as he nipped John’s bottom lip. “God, you’re so beautiful…”

John laughed and licked Cam’s lips. Lying there, Cam let John get used to his width, running his hands down over any skin within reach. He skimmed his fingers across John pert nipple and John gasped.

“Like that?”

“Yes… do it again!” John sighed as he arched his body up towards Cam’s.

Cam rubbed and pinched the pink nipple, then leaned down and placed it in his mouth, his tongue worrying it as he lightly nipped it with his teeth. John mewed, gripping Cam tight from pleasure. After a while, John wiggled slightly and gave a shallow thrust up against Cam and groaned.

“Move… please…”

“’kay, baby…” Cam murmured and pulled out slowly, then thrust back in.

Picking up rhythm, Cam began thrusting into John’s ass, groaning at the tight heat surrounding him. Their dog tags clinked together from each thrust, the chains tangling in the motion. John pushed up against Cam, crying out every time Cam’s cock brushed against his prostate.

“Harder…” John whimpered as he wrapped his legs around Cam’s waist.

Pulling out, Cam slammed back into John, both of them moaning in pleasure at the movement. Soon they were pounding against each other, Cam’s cock sliding in and out of John’s hole, the friction was extreme. Sliding a hand in between their bodies, Cam wrapped it around John’s cock and began pulling on the hard length as his orgasm came closer and closer.

They stared into each other’s eyes, gasping in pleasure as they neared the peak. John pressed his mouth against Cam’s shoulder and kissed it, crying out as his orgasm hit him.

“Cameron!” John yelled as cum splashed against Cam’s hand and onto John’s stomach.

The walls around his cock tightened to a nearly painful point and then three thrusts later Cam exploded inside John, crying out John’s name as the condom filled with Cam’s warm wet cum. Cam bit into the flesh connecting John’s shoulder and neck as his orgasm continued.

Their panting breath filled the room as they held each other tight. Their bodies began to cool and Cam slowly pulled out of John, removing the condom and tying it. He threw it into the waste basket beside the bed and slid off of John and lay on his back beside him. They laid there for a few minutes and then Cam slid the comforter out from under them and covered their bodies. Turning onto his side he pulled John towards him and spooned around him, chest to John’s back.

John grabbed Cam’s arm and pulled it around him, tucking it against his chest and sighed. Cam kissed then nape of John’s neck and snuggled into John and closed his eyes.

The next morning Cam woke up to an empty bed and a note that simply said “I’m sorry, I’m not ready.” He had laid there for a long time after reading the note, trying to process it all. He had finally been with John and it had been perfect. Hot and filled with desire, their bodies had fit like they were made for each other. He had loved the little gasps John had made as he thrust into his body or the taste of his lips. He knew he was screwed, he had been half in love with John before last night, now he was full blown head over heels in love and John wasn’t ready to be with a man.

Cam had suspicions John hadn’t been with a man before, the way he had reacted last night as if he were a virgin, at least in that area. He was still deep in the closet and not ready to come out. Cam hoped he was soon, he didn’t think his feelings would be going away anytime soon.

Monday morning soon came and John all but ignored Cam, never meeting his eyes, only talking when he absolutely had to. Cam could see the lost look in his face and knew he regretted that night. They never spoke about it and within three weeks John had requested a transfer.

The night John had left, Cam had come home sat on the couch and stayed there ‘til morning. He eyes filled with unshed tears and his chest aching. He’d just lost his heart to John and now would probably never see him again.

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February 6, 2004

“Did you hear some hot shot pilot got a black mark put on his service record and booted here to McMurdo after disobeying orders…?” Stated Major Henricks in a smug voice as he sat down in a seat opposite Cam in the mess hall.

“Nah, who was it?” Cam questioned, taking a bite of the mashed potatoes on his plate.

“Major James or John Sheppard, somethin’ like that… guess he flew an un-sanctioned mission into Afghanistan and three men died.” Henricks gunted as he shoveled food into his mouth, oblivious to Cam’s sudden stillness.

Mind racing, Cam couldn’t believe John was stationed in the same base as him. It had been four years and Cam still felt the hallow ache in his chest when he thought of him. About two years after John left, Cam’s life had taken a turn for the better, at least career wise. He had been tapped to lead a new squadron of fighters out of McMurdo, the aircrafts so secret that they hadn’t even been allowed to see them until they had signed a contract for their new clearance level. The F-302’s were orgasmic to Cam and he had jumped at the chance to be a part of the project. The 302’s were still fairly new and the kinks had needed to be found in the systems.

Three years after he came to McMurdo he was now Major Cameron Mitchell and was very happy in his career… his love life, not so much. Since John, Cam had found it hard to move on. The first two years after John left, Cam shied away from pursuing any one, John’s place still very instilled in his heart. Then he had met Henry Patrick, though he wasn’t someone Cam could see himself being with for the rest of his life, Henry had helped ease the pain of John’s leaving. For the past three years they had been together on and off, somewhere in between friends and casual lovers. The friend’s-with-benefits relationship worked well for them, as neither was ready to take a relationship further.

Over time Cam had returned to the life he had pre-John, occasionally dating and venturing into more serious relationships. Through the years he had had a boyfriend or two, even feeling something for them, but in the end they all seemed unable to compare to the memory of John. He hadn’t wanted to be that man, the one to compare each lover to that special one that got away, making it impossible for the other person to compete. He had tried to forget John, but the memory of him was as strong today as it had been five years ago. Henry was a friend who offered him companionship and a sexual bonus when neither of them were with someone, but nothing more and Cam had been fine with that. Now John was within reach and Cam wanted more.

“Uh…” Cam cleared his throat and tried again. “The pilot, where is he placed?”

“He’s stuck with flying bigwigs around, crap job…”

Cam nodded, his throat dry and closed tight. John was stationed here, on the same base as Cam… would he even want to see Cam? It had been years since that night and Cam could still smell John’s scent, leather and soap. Once in a while he would catch a scent and for a moment it was if he were back in his apartment on Travis AFB, John underneath him, his warm body wrapped around his cock.

Shifting to relieve the sudden pressure in his pants, he tried to finish his meal, offering the occasional grunt or single syllable word while Henricks talked away. Cam’s mind lost in whether or not he should seek John out.

A month and a half later, John came to him. Answering a knock at his door, Cam opened it and found himself looking at Major John Sheppard in a state of wonder.

“Hey, Cameron.” John said quietly, shifting slightly on his feet.

“John…” Cam whispered, the death grip on the door the only thing keeping him on his feet.

They stood there for a few minutes just looking at each other, soaking in the others presence. John was still beautiful, though time had started to creep up on him. At thirty-one he had crows feet around his eyes, his features had strengthened and his face thinned some. He still was tall and lithely muscled, his body sculpted to perfection. He wore a pair of faded blue jeans with rips in the knees and a black t-shirt that molded to his chest like a second skin. The black messy hair on his head, as usual, was sticking in every direction it could, giving a just rolled out of bed look.

“Can I come in?”

“Uh… sure, yeah…” Cam answered as he stood back and let John walk inside, closing the door behind him. “How-how’ve ya been?”

“Alright, got stationed here after a mission went bad…” John said with a frown.

The quiet felt awkward and so Cam said, “Take a seat.”

John took a spot at one end of the couch, Cam a seat at the other. They both sat stiffly and not looking at each other. The silence continued and Cam had no idea what to say. Was John here because he wanted to be or because of some since of obligation to apologize?

“You-” Cam began but was cut off by John.

“I’m sorry I left… I regret leaving before you woke up; not telling you in person.” John said roughly and then lifted his eyes to stare into Cam’s. “You were my first, well my only… and I… I wanted you for a long time before that night. I hadn’t even allowed myself to even think that I was gay, just pushing it aside and ignoring how I felt about you.”

“I made a lot of mistakes after you; I tried to convince myself that I wasn’t gay. I met a woman, Nancy, and tried to force myself to deny it. We got married a year later… were married for two years, but it didn’t work. I didn’t love her, couldn’t be what she wanted.” John’s voice broke and his viscously wiped away tears that had fallen from his eyes. “I slept around, moving from one willing women to another; trying to forget how I felt with you inside me…”

Cam reached out and pulled John to him; he came willingly and tucked his face into Cam’s neck, his tears wetting the skin. Wrapping his arms around John, Cam pressed his face into John’s hair, breathing in John’s scent and suppressed a groan.

“I didn’t know you were here until a week ago… I saw you walking out of the mess. I panicked, I thought about trying to get a transfer, leave… something, didn’t know if I could face you.” The voice mumbled against his neck. “God, you’re just as hot as you were then…”

Cam chuckled and leaned back and kissed John’s forehead. “It’s the genes my momma blessed me with…”

John smirked and then the smile fell away as he kneeled on the cushion and pressed his lips against Cam’s. The both exhaled in wonder; the spark between them still as strong as ever.

Cupping John’s face, Cam pulled back and looked his fill at the beautiful man in front of him.

“You are without a doubt, the most beautiful man I have ever seen.” Cam breathed and licked John’s pouted lips.

“You know, most men would take offense at being called beautiful…” John laughed and then sobered and said, “But I’ll take anything you give me.”

Cam pulled John closer, their chests pressed against one another and groaned. John lifted his right leg and moved, straddling Cam’s lap. Cam’s erection pressed into John ass as he settled on his lap. Letting his hands slide down John’s frame, they rested on the curve of John’s plump ass and tugged, their erections pressed against each other. They both groaned in pleasure and John wrapped his arms around Cam’s neck.

“I missed you. So much…” John whispered as he pressed his forehead against Cam’s, looking into Cam’s blue eyes and lightly trailed his fingers down Cam’s cheek.

“I’m here and i’m not going anywhere, baby.” Cam said with certainty.

Their lips met, moving against the others, breath mingling as their tongues tangled and slid together. Holding John to him, Cam gave a powerful thrust up into John. John threw his head back, throat exposed and moved against Cam, their movement synced in fluid motion. Leaning forward, Cam nibbled on the throat in front of him, sucking the soft skin between his lips and marking the pale flesh. He groaned, seeing John marked by him.

Cam slipped his hands down into the back of John’s jeans, his hands gripping the taunt flesh. Moving faster and faster, he felt his orgasm coming. John’s hands carded through Cam’s hair, his quiet cries exciting Cam as their thrusts got harder. One of Cam’s fingers slid along the crevice between John’s cheeks, running over the puckered entrance.

“Please…. oh god, please Cameron…” John whimpered.

Cam pushed the finger into John’s hole just enough to reach the first knuckle and John bucked above him, shouting Cam’s name as his orgasm overtook him. Seeing John’s face in ecstasy, Cam felt his balls tighten up and then was cumming, his boxers filled with his own spunk.

“John!” Cam screamed as he pushed his face into John’s chest, panting as his body continued to sing.

They stayed there, locked in a tight embrace as their breath returned to normal. A light ringing filled Cam’s ears and he frowned in confusion and then realized his cellular was ringing. Sighing, he reached into his back pocket and pulled out the phone.

“I gotta’ to take this…”

John smiled and nodded, resting his head onto Cam’s shoulder to wait.

“Mitchell.” Cam answered.

“Major, we have an emergency and we need all personnel to return to base immediately. Your squadron is being prepped for launch as soon as you arrive.” The person on the other end of the line said.

“Will do, be there in ten.” Cam said as he flipped the phone closed and put it back in his pocket. “I have to go, there is a threat and they need me.”

“Okay.” John said as he got off Cam’s lap and straightened his clothes. “I’ll see you…”

“I’m not sure when I will be back… give me your number and I’ll call you, okay.” Cam said as he pulled out his phone again and entered a new contact in it with John’s number.

“I have to go clean up.”

John nodded, biting his lip nervously and then walked to the door. Cam followed him and kissed him lightly on the lips and then said, “I will call you, don’t worry.”

“’kay.” John answered as he opened the door and waved, then walked down the hall.

Cam smiled and then hurried to go clean himself up.

Thirty minutes later he was in the air piloting an F-302 as a Goa’uld system lord attack the Ancient Outpost in Antarctica. After shooting down a couple dozen enemy aircraft, his 302 was damaged and crashed, leaving him severely injured, unconscious and trapped for the better part of ten hours until he was rescued.

When he had recovered consciousness in the military hospital, he had woken up to Henry Patrick sitting beside his bed, holding his hand. His friend and occasional lover, had given a small smile and said quietly, “Damn Mitchell, you don’t do anything half assed do you?”

Cam had laughed weakly as Henry had called in the doctor. He had then sat silently as he was told in no uncertain terms that he was paralyzed and would likely never walk again. The shock of the doctor’s words hit him; it was like a horrible nightmare. After Henry left, he had sat there alone in his room, trying to make sense of where he could go from there.

In the morning, he had woken to a fleeting memory of those stolen moments with John and realized in the confusion of the previous day he hadn’t had anyone let John know what happened to him. He had immediately called John and left a message about what happened, asking him to call him or come visit him in the hospital.

He had waited for two weeks, each day hoping that would be the day he would see John’s beautiful face and kiss him again. After calling several times and getting no reply, he had asked Henry to find out if John was alright, fearing that John had somehow been involved with the fight as well.

He had returned to tell him that he had found out that John was fine, but had been transferred to a classified project and he had been warned to not pursue it anymore. Cam had realized that if he wanted to, John would have contacted him by now and that for whatever reason John had changed his mind; he still wasn’t ready to be with Cam.

*{}*{}*{}*{}*{}*{}*{}*{}*{}*

October 12, 2007

When Cam had been told that he was being given the post of leader of the Atlantis Expedition, he had been both happy and nervous. It had been over three years since he had last seen John and now he was going to be his CO again.

Of course since his time at McMurdo the DADT policy and the regs for fraternization of the SGC had been removed, due to the drastic differences in America’s code of military conduct and the other countries involved in the Stagate Program. John and he, if they chose to, would be able to begin a relationship as long as it didn’t interfere with the expeditions operations. Though the if was a big IF…

In the past few years Cam and moved on as much as possible. John, after all, had gone on a one-way mission to another galaxy to get away from him and for over a year the expedition had not been heard from. To Cam that had been a giant red flag that John would never be ready for Cam to love him and love Cam in return.

Cam had during that time been pushing his body to the limit, determined to not only walk again, but be more than able to continue active duty. The day came when that was a reality and General O’Neill had offered him any place in the Air Force he chose. SG-1 had seemed like the perfect assignment. The start had been a little rough, the three remaining members had relocated to other postings and Cam had to convince them to return. Now the team was a tight knit family of five, Vala begrudgingly included, and he was being reassigned.

The possibility of seeing John again did make his heart pick up speed, he had kept an eye on John through the years and many times while reading the mission reports from Atlantis he had felt as if his heart might have died. John seemed to be a magnet for danger, constantly in the line of fire. The worse had been the video of John’s life force being slowly drained from him by a Wraith, his cries of pain echoing in Cam’s head. He had cried that night, curled up in a ball and wept for the pain John had been put through and thankful that his life had been returned to him so that Cam might see him at least once more in his life.

When the Daedalus beamed him into the control tower of Atlantis and he set eyes on John Sheppard for the first time in four years and couldn’t help but smile. He was still as devastatingly handsome as Cam had remembered.

“Colonel Mitchell, welcome to Atlantis.” John said formally, his face set in an expressionless mask.

Cam frowned for a moment and then the look was replaced by a forced smile. “Thank you, Colonel Sheppard.”

“Sir, you can leave your things here. I will have someone take your belongings to your quarters. The senior staff is waiting for us in the conference room to give you a briefing on the current situation. If you’ll follow me Sir…” he gestured as he began to make his way up towards the conference room.

Cam smiled and nodded as various staff members, both civilian and military, greeted him. All the while trying to keep his confusion and anger of John’s greeting in check. John had been so stiff and formal, his eyes blank and giving nothing away. He acted as if they had never met or if they had it had been nothing, but brief passings and acquaintances.

He had accepted that for a while after he arrived in Atlantis things would be awkward between them. The last time they had seen each other, John had been straddling his lap, riding his cock while Cam had a finger in his ass. Cam had no idea what was going through John’s mind and he wished that he did, it would make things a lot easier. Even if they would never been more than a CO and his XO, he hoped they at least would be able to work with each other.

As they walked Cam couldn’t help, but gawk at the beauty of Atlantis. It really was the stuff of legends, everything and more of what he had been told about it; tall piers and sun reflecting off of the gleaming surfaces. It looked in every way like crown jewel of an advanced ancient civilization.

Following John into the conference room, Cam found his new senior staff settled in around the table. After Cam and John took their seats, situation reports were given on all the departments and both the civilian and military staff.

Atlantis now had a fully charged ZPM after the mission to the Replicator homeworld. They had suffered one casualty in that mission and it had far reaching consequences.

With the recent loss of Dr. Weir the morale in Atlantis was a bit low. Cam knew they were all strong people and had suffered many losses in the three years they had been in the Pegasus Galaxy. She had been loved by everyone on Atlantis and Cam hoped he would be able to fill her shoes. Even though she hadn’t been a soldier, she had skillfully led the expedition for three years against many enemies and had been intelligent enough to listen and rely on her senior staff.

Before his arrival, the city had been relocated to another world, one with no inhabitants. The world was Earth-like in atmosphere with a large ocean and five moons. It previously had no stargate, so the chance of unexpected visitors was not likely. It had been named, New Lantea.

Once the meeting was over, Cam stayed in his chair while everyone gathered their things and filed out.

“Colonel Sheppard, could you please stay behind? I would like a word.” Cam asked evenly.

John in the process of exiting the room came to a halt, his suddenly tense stance was apparent to everyone. John quietly nodded to everyone as they left and then the door shut behind them.

“Are we going to have a problem?” Cam questioned softly.

John kept his back to Cam and said, “No, sir.”

Sighing, Cam stood and walked nearer to John, but stopped a few feet away.

“Would you mind turning around…” Cam asked. When John stayed still, Cam continued. “I… god John, please just look at me…”

Taking a few deep breaths, John turned and looked up into Cam eyes. He tried to keep the emotions from showing, but Cam could see them bleeding through. There was pain, anger, fear, confusion and something more that Cam couldn’t identify.

“Yes, sir?”

“Cut the crap, this isn’t your CO taking to you…” Cam barked out, his anger laced in every word.

Cam had thought he would be able to keep it in control; he had five years to try and get over John. He had known he hadn’t done it completely, but he had thought at least he had learned to tolerate the feelings he had for the other man.

“If that’s true, Mitchell, then I’ll be going.” He replied as he began heading for the door.

“Oh, so i’m Mitchell now? What the hell happened John, why didn’t you ever return my calls?”Cam growled his voice rough and hoarse with anger and pain.

“I just realized what kind of man you really were.” John nearly vibrated with restrained fury as he spoke. “If that’s all Sir, I’ll be going. There are a few things that need my attention.”

Sighing in defeat, Cam said, “Dismissed.” He took a seat at the table as John exited the room without a backward glance.