In The Beginning

TITLE: In the Beginning

AUTHOR: Midknight

CHAPTER: 1 of 1

FANDOM: Gossip Girl

SHIP: Serena / Nate

RATING: NC-17

CATEGORY: Erotica

SPOILERS: Season 1 - A couple.

SYNOPSIS: WARNING: HERE BE SPOILERS - SEASON 1. What actually happened between Serena and Nate at the Sheppard wedding.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Gossip Girl. None of these characters belong to me. They belong to whoever created them and whoever else does. I pay homage to them and I make no profit from this story in any fashion, way or means.

AUTHORS NOTE: I apologize before hand and hope you will forgive any errors or blatant discrepancies.

FEEDBACK: Yes Please. It helps. It really, really helps. - midknight_tales@yahoo.com

Serena sipped her martini, savoring it as she looked around the bustling reception from a stool at the bar. It was likely the last she would be able to get the bartender to make her. She'd had too much to drink and was starting to show it. The bride and groom had left on their honeymoon about two hours ago and with her bride's maids duties complete she'd started to celebrate in earnest. Celebrate might be too strong a term, but it was an open bar and she had been making the best of it. Her eyes sought out her friends amongst the Upper Eastside crowd. Blair was being the consummate social butterfly flitting from group to group, a flute of champagne lightly gripped in one hand, the only one she would have and never finish. Chuck was working his way through the bride's maids in search of a conquest, actually, another conquest, his bow tie already hanging loose around his neck. She'd seen him sneak off with some vacant-eyed giggling blonde earlier. She'd had a few offers herself, but had turned them down and sent them on their way with ruthless, callus efficiency that would have made Georgina proud.

The thought of Georgina Sparks made her finish the martini in a single gulp in a hopeless attempt to banish the memories that came with it. She should leave, her obligations had more than been met and the bar was for all intents and purposes closed to her now. "Another?" a familiar voice asked next to her and she turned to find Nate leaning against the bar. He looked good in his traditional tuxedo and even more boyish and charming with the bow tie hanging undone under his collar. She was glad to see him and the distraction he embodied. She had always been comfortable with Nathaniel. He never seemed to judge or want anything from her. Serena leaned closer to him and in a stage whisper, which the bartender could not have failed to hear she told him that she didn't think she could get another one.

Nate ordered one for them both and although the bartender gave him a disapproving look he served it to them anyway. "Thanks and cheers." She saluted him, touching her glass to his just a little harder than she intended, but managing not to spill and giggled. "Why aren't you doing the rounds with, Blair?" she wondered, glancing over at her perfect best friend. "I've had... just a wee bit too much to drink and she asked me to go sober up a little." He explained and she noticed that his leaning on the bar was not just for casual affect as he was swaying slightly. "Asked?" Serena enquired with an amused quirk to her lips. "Ordered." He admitted with a chuckle and she joined him. "Well, hope that martini helps." She noted and they laughed again. The bartender gave them an annoyed look and Serena made a face to say that they were in trouble which just started them sniggering drawing even more attention to them and then Nate took her hand and led her away from the bar.

"Where're we going?" she enquired as she followed him, allowing him to guide her through the crowd. "It's a surprise. I think you'll like it." He replied mysteriously as they left the reception hall, but took another hallway instead of heading to the exit. She stopped him after a few minutes and leaned against a wall to take off her shoes. The wood of the floor felt good under the soles of her feet as she took his hand again and they continued on until they came to a set of huge glass and wood doors. She watched him slow test the handle and then with a grin and a grandiose gesture he opened the door and ushered her inside. Serena gasped as she saw the high-ceilinged ballroom with a few tables and a bar to one side. A grand staircase on the other end of the massive room led up to a second floor walkway that created a balcony overlooking the whole room. Late afternoon sun streamed in through the glass panel ceiling to give everything a soft glow. "How did you find this place?" she asked as she ran her hand along the dark wood bar counter. "Chuck showed it to me a few years ago. They never use both rooms at the same time for some reason." He explained with a grin sweeping his blonde bangs out of his face.

Serena negligently tossed her shoes into a corner and moved out onto the dance floor, twirled and letting a laugh bubble from her lips with the exhilarating freedom. Nate joined her at a more leisurely pace, tossing his jacket onto a nearby table and when she stopped spinning the room continued to for a few more minutes and she steadied herself by clutching at his shoulder and he aided her with a hand at her hip as she chortled with bemusement. "Let's dance." He suggested and without another word and despite the lack of music led her into a waltz around the floor. She was a little unsteady at first, but he pulled her closer and she simply followed his lead. She hadn't realized how tall, broad shouldered, solid and handsome he was. It felt good to be in his arms as he propelled them along a little faster with each turn with her breathlessly trying to keep up. She wondered if the music in his head matched hers. They both laughed as they finally lost their balance and careened off to fetch up against the bar, panting and laughing.

She felt a little light headed, but euphoric and happy and she wasn't sure how much of it had to with the fact that she was still warmly ensconced in his arms as they swayed slightly. His fingers left a tingling trail across her bare shoulders as he untangled them. "You're a good dancer." She complimented him as she settled onto a stool, her cheeks feeling warm and stretched with a large smile and the treacherous little voice in the back of her mind added: "You know what they say about guys who know how to dance." She watched as he actually blushed and ducked his head in embarrassment. "Only when I'm a little drunk." He stipulated. "There's something else Chuck showed me." He said, his eyes brightening before he turned and made his way behind the bar and ducked down out of sight. Serena frowned when after a few minutes she heard nothing more from him.

Serena carefully placed her hands on the edge of the bar and started to lean over to see what had happened to him when he suddenly popped up, flourishing a bottle of champagne. She yelped in surprise and promptly sat back. Her heart raced as her laughter joined his at the little prank he had just played on her. He came around the bar, the conquering hero with his prize in hand and she hopped off her stool and promptly snatched it from him in retaliation. She darted away and he gave chase. She wasn't faster than him, but her better acquaintance with the affects of alcohol gave her the edge as they ran around the ballroom, dodging in between the tables that surrounded it laughing and him calling out admonishment while she through taunts over her shoulder or shrieked at every time he nearly managed to catch her. Somehow she managed to put some distance between them and with the respite, scampered up onto the bar using the stool and held the champagne triumphantly out of his reach.

"You're deceptively fast." He panted with a grin as he caught his breath and she curtsied, having to catch herself as she nearly toppled forward. "Steady there." He said as he reached up and gasped the side of her legs just above her knees to steady her. Her giggled faded as she felt the warmth of his hands as he looked up at her and she looked down at him, her grey eyes reflected in his blue ones. The change in mood was almost tangible as the world shrunk to just the two of them; amusement was suddenly replaced with a heavy, serious tension and an unmistakable awareness. His touch was not erotic in anyway, but it suddenly presented them with possibilities. Possibilities that neither had considered before, but now seemed undeniable. She let him guide her to a sitting position onto the counter where she set down the champagne bottle, their eyes never breaking contact, searching, questioning. The moment stretched out, the silence eerie after the sound of their mirth and carefree abandon and then they were both leaning in. The kiss was soft, tentative at first. The angle was a little awkward and strong hands grasped her under her arms and lifted her off the counter and onto a nearby stool so that they were level and their heads tilted to deepen their kiss mouths opened as tongues wrestled and explored.

His hands remained a warm, but light grip over her ribs, but he was the one to break the kiss, his eyes wide, and his mouth still open. He licked his lips as if to verify the taste her there. That was where it should have ended. They were both the worse for drink and long time friends. Chalk it up to a momentary lack of inhibition, circumstance and curiosity. She should have laughed, dismissed it as a silly mistake. Nate was Blair's boyfriend and Blair was her best friend, but it had just felt so good. There had not been much good in her life of late, not with her family, not with her friends. A drug hazed flash of Georgina and a hotel room flashed across her consciousness as if to confirm her situation and, so, instead her hand slid onto his neck and she pulled him back into another kiss. He resisted for a moment, but just a moment and then she was off her seat, in his arms, and her breasts were crushed to his broad chest as they kissed with increasing passion.

Their hands started to roam and curious, exploring touching graduated to caresses and finally intimate fondling. She felt herself come alive with arousal, her folds becoming moist and flowering open while her channel flexed and twisted against itself with need; her nipples growing stiff and sending sparks of sensation into her chest as they scraped against the cups of her brassier, which intensified as his strong hand cupped and fondled her breast. Her skin felt hot and itchy, his fingers were like firebrands when he touched the exposed skin of her shoulders and back, her clothes irritating and suddenly uncomfortable. She could feel him, hot, hard and throbbing against her belly through his trouser and her dress. She groaned as his lips slid from hers to explore the skin at the side of her neck with warm pressure. Her hands found the buttons of his shirt almost of their own accord and she murmured that the zipper to her dress was on the left side. His skin is smooth for a guy, but the muscles are hard and defined underneath as she ran her hands across his chest to drag the tails of his shirt out of his trousers and push it off his shoulders. The sound of her zipper lowering is harsh across the silence and the sound of their heavy breathing. Serena sighed in relief and then pleasure as the dress loosened and fell away and Nate's hands and lips explored her newly exposed skin.

Serena knew where this was heading and a small but insistent voice in the back of her mind kept repeating how wrong it was and what terrible consequences lay at the end of the path they were rushing down, but it felt so incredibly good and in the moment so right that she let her need, the physical sensation of his touch and the taste of his skin drown out her conscience as she reached for his belt. She felt his hand fumble at the back of her white, lace strapless bra and quietly informed him that the clasp was in the front. He thanked her and his politeness was somehow strangely amusing and she forced herself to bite back he laughter lest he misconstrue it. The fact that she used the firm muscle of his rounded shoulder to do so was almost accidental. She didn't know if it was inexperience or playful teasing that caused him to take his time undoing her brassier, but hr lips vibrated against his skin as the restraining undergarment finally fell away to join her champagne colored dress on the floor around her feet.

His belt and the fastenings of his trousers finally succumbed to her fingers and she let them slip into the fly of his boxers. She heard him draw in a sharp breath as she slowly measured his length with blind fingers and then wrapped them around his shaft, feeling him pulse against her grip. His cock was above average length and surprisingly thick, his skin smooth and pulsing with virile life. He groaned as she slowly stroked him, his breath tickling her skin before his sucking lips and swirling tongue returned to it, working their way down to her now naked breasts. She used her thumb to lightly explore his pointed helmet of his dickhead and his cock twitched in her hand and on her next pass she felt slippery liquid sprouting from the tip. She didn't know if he was aware of it, but his hips had slowly started rocking, thrusting into her fist and she paced her hand to counterpoint it.

The cool air of the large ballroom felt good on her breasts and heated skin, but the heat of his mouth felt better as he lapped his tongue along the valley of her cleavage and then worked his way onto her left breast. He drew a tingling, wet, dwindling spiral around her nipple until he captured it and sucked it and some of her breast into his mouth. She curled her free hand around his neck and pressed his face to her breast, letting her head rest on his broad shoulder as she licked and nipped at the side of his neck as he suckled as one breast, fondled the other and caressed her ass with his other hand. She lifted his head and her own and their lips met for a hard, intense, but short kiss before she guided his mouth to her other breast. His hand slid from her breast, over her ribs and down her belly to cup her sex. His touch was hesitant at first, but soon grew bolder with confidence as he could not possibly mistake how turned on she was by the dampness of her panties under his fingertips and when she huskily told him how good it felt.

A perverse part of her wondered if he'd gone this far with Blair. She knew they had not gone where she and Nate were inevitably heading, of that she was certain, but Blair did have a wild side. She kept it on a very short leash, but she did have one. Thoughts of Blair were washed away by a surge of pleasure as his thumb found her clit through the lace of her panties and circled it with steady pressure. "Yessss! Right there... just like that." she hissed, squeezing his shaft and jacking it faster as the sweet tension in her loins made it pulse as the tide of her climax continued to rise. She licked her lips, moaning and rocking her hips to grind herself against his hand as he continued to massage her clit and swollen, moist folds while suckling first one and then the other of her nipples. She drew him out of the fly of his boxers and looked down to confirm what she had imagined from her tactile explorations. She worried at her lower lip as she considered the twitching manhood held lightly in her hands.

Nate lifted his head and again their eyes met. She could see lust in his eyes, a fevered blaze that seemed out of place on his boyish feature, but also all the more exciting. She wondered what he saw in hers. His chest rose slow and measured as if he were controlling it by will. His hand slowed, but didn't quite stop on either her sex or her ass, a sudden tension between them. They both knew they were crossing a boundary. What they had done this far might be swept under the rug; forgotten, simply written off as a foolish, regrettable, drunken mistake, but if it went any further... Nothing would be the same for either of them. Serena released his cock and slowly, gently brushed his hand away from her crotch and then with deliberate care, pulled the crotch of her panties down and to the side and spreading her legs by lifting one foot onto the crossbar at the bottom of the stool next to her, exposing herself to him in a simple, explicit offer.

The choice, she rationalized, was his. He could walk away and for the most part maintain his fidelity or... Another, quiet, treacherous, sneering voice informed her that she was giving him no choice at all. He was an inebriated sixteen year-old boy being offered his first real sexual experience. It would take an actual act of God or the realization that he was gay for him to turn her down. She saw the bump of his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed heavily. Serena felt a stab of guilt, the enormity of what she was encouraging Nate to do and the betrayal she would be perpetrating on Blair crystallized in her mind. She opened her mouth to stop him, but he stepped forward, capturing her lips with his, taking her open mouth as another part of her offer. She couldn't see, but she assumed he was grasping the base of his cock as the tip brushed across her clit and then slid through her folds in search of her entrance. After a moment he found it and wedged himself securely in place.

She wanted to stop him, wanted this not to happen, knew it was wrong, but instead, she relaxed, let her weight settle downward in his arms and started his journey into her. She drew in a sharp breath and let it out in slow, measured degrees as he thrust up into her, slowly and steadily. His lips were a half-inch from hers, his gaze holding hers in wonder as he filled and stretched her and she surrounded and enveloped him. Her sex squeezed and clutched at him slowing his invasion and at the same time inviting it as she flooded with slippery cream. She curled her leg around his, arching over the counters edge, her eyes fluttering closed and her head lolling back as he completed his journey and they ground slowly together with his shaft caressing her intimate flesh and stirring her molten core. She blinked and lifted her head to look at him again and found his jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed in concentration, his nostrils flaring as he breathed in. She could feel him pulse with the beat of his heart in her snug embrace, his body tense, almost shaking against hers and she was starkly reminded that this was his first time.

Serena drew Nate's head to her chest, but he resisted the strong column of his neck remaining unmoved. "It's okay... It's okay." She coaxed and he finally complied, letting her rest his cheek on the upper slope of her breasts. She stroked his hair and shoulders until his crisis passed and he lifted his head. "Go slow." She told him as instinct kicked in and he started to rock his hips to start a dance as old as time, but brand new to him. They kissed as he increased the range of his movements, the friction re-igniting the blaze of her building climax. She matched his pace, but clutched at his ass, pulling him to her and encouraging him to grind more as their bodies met to mash and stimulate her clit with delicious jolts of pleasure. She moaned her approval as he shifted, improving their connection and also lowered his head to capture one of her nipples. The collision of their bodies sent shockwaves of pleasure radiating across her nerves as well as physical ones, which shook her breasts against his lips as he swirled his tongue around the hard tube of her nipple.

The delectable tension in her core was a tight, pulsing ball of energy and sensation that sparked and arched with sizzling electric bolts of delight each time he pierced it, charging it, adding to its power and pushing her closer to the limits of her capacity and the release that would bring. He started to grunt and groan and his pace accelerated, his hands digging into the flesh at her waist as the staccato, wet slapping noise of their bodies rapidly meeting joined the soft panted cries that were driven from her lips and the heavy huff and hiss of his breathing. She could see the tension and strain in his face as it glistened with sweat, which she could also feel popping up on her heated skin, droplets merging and then trickling down her back and chest in tickling, meandering streaks. She needed to slow him down. It felt wonderful and she was close, but not close enough. She tried to get his attention, digging her nails into his ass cheeks and tightening herself around him to impede his thrusting hips. Her rapid panting breathing and the jarring crash of their meeting flesh making it impossible to verbalize her desire, but to no avail as he was stronger than her or simply already lost to the savage influence of his need.

And, then, it was too late. He suddenly threw his head back, his mouth going wide, his teeth bared as he slammed into her with more force than he had used before, causing the edge of the counter to bite painfully into her back. His hips humped as he let out a hoarse, stuttered cry of surrender and his dick expanded and pulsed as he emptied himself into her in heavy spurts of liquid heat. The disappointment and frustration she felt was tempered and assuaged by the cascade of tremors that wracked her body as waves of pleasure, although not quite of orgasmic proportions, flooded her system. Her sex clenched and rippled around him, milking him as he continued to stimulate her clit with his grinding pubic bone, his body tense against hers to the point of vibrating. It lacked the mind numbing, super nova power and temporary freedom from everything of an orgasm, but she reveled in the pleasure all the same.

His climax ran its course and he relaxed, slumping forward, his forehead on her shoulder, their chests heaving and pressing together as e tried to catch his breath. She could feel his heart, racing and just slightly out of sync with hers. She felt him turn his face, nuzzle at her neck for a moment before planting a light kiss on her skin as she felt him shrink and retreat out of her. He slipped free of her and they shared a soft groan as her sex tensed, trying to hold him in place for just a little longer and failed. Nate lifted his head and straightened, breaking the connection between them. She could see awe in his eyes before a shadow passed over them. "You didn't... You know... erm... Come, did you?" he asked quietly and she shook her head. "Sorry." He apologized simply and sincerely with a rueful quirk to his lips. "You have nothing to apologize for, Nate. It was still really good. I mean really good. A girl doesn't always climax." She was about to add the fact that it was also his first time, but didn't as she tried to reassure him, having had far worse sexual experiences in her checkered past.

"I wanted to keep going, but it felt so wonderful and then I just couldn't stop and before I knew what was happening I... you know." He tried to explain; whether for his benefit or hers she wasn't sure. "Really, Nathaniel, don't worry about it. I enjoyed it. Everything's okay." She urged and blinked as her breath suddenly caught in her throat. Guilt and disgust and revulsion with herself struck her like a physical blow. Whether the exertion had burned the alcohol from her system to clear her mind or whether it was the heartfelt sincerity and insistence of his apology or the innocence and naivety from which it stemmed or the inherent lie in her last statement, but everything was suddenly very not okay. She was suddenly very aware of her nudity and the trickle of their combined juices on the inside of her thigh a stark reminder of what they had just done.

Her feelings must have been clearly apparent on her face as Nate took a startled step back. Serena scrambled back into her dress, not even bothering to retrieve her bra and keeping her eyes averted from his confused expression as he tucked himself away. She needed to get out of there. The only saving grace, if it could be called that, was that neither of them would ever tell anyone what they had done and on one else need ever know, but she would still know and would be reminded every time she saw him, every time she saw Blair and seeing them together... "You are a horrible person." The thought pounded in her head. She had done some bad things in her life, but she had always been able to justify herself, but this... this made her officially a bad person. She needed to get out of there, and not just the ball room. She needed time... She needed to figure things out.

"Serena?" he called her name in concern and she finally raised her eyes to his face. Worry was etched on his features as he stepped closer to her. Despite everything his broad shoulders and solid form were an enticingly invitation for her to lean against and hold onto for support as her world unraveled. "I'm so sorry, Nate. Please... Please forgive me." She whispered, hoping he could hear her with her throat feeling tight and her eyes stinging as her vision blurred with unshed tears before she pushed passed him. He called her name again, but she ignored him, concentrating on getting away breaking her escape down into manageable stages. "Reach the door... Leave the building... Get home... Get out of the city... was as far as she could process, but that was far enough.

THE END