Lexx: Prince's Mission

It was winter in Washington, DC. The President has just gotten remarried to a young twenty-something blonde named Bunny. A free spirited young lady with a heart for aerobics. In the oval office, Priest is sitting down on the beige couch, enjoying Bunny's presence. She whispers sweet nothings, as she kisses and tickles him all over. Getting Priest excited.

Bunny: You are only the most excited man in the free world.

But there was another presence in the room that happens to interrupt their fondling.

Prince: ...next to me.

Priest looks up. It's Prince. What does he want now?

Priest: My Prince.

Prince: Mr. President...Bunny.

Bunny waves at Prince, excited. Priest, however, feels stupidified.

Priest: Bunny was just...uh...

Prince: Tickling you.

Bunny puts her arms around Priest as Prince approaches them.

Prince: I'm sure, Mr. President, that you preferred to be tickled all day. However, there are more pressing affairs at hand.

Priest: There are?

Priest sounds surprised. Prince continues.

Prince: Yes. Such as making sure that the captain of the Lexx, Stanley Tweedle, doesn't leave this planet, so that I would have some way off after I make a complete mess of it.

Prince changes the subject. Asking a question aimed at Priest.

Prince: Do you recall your pathetic and incompetent scheme to kill me? Which made Stanley the king of Newfoundland?

Priest: Yes, I think so.

Prince: Well, apparently, the king has shown up to claim his throne. Which gives us the perfect opportunity to persuade him to stay.

Prince approaches Priest with caution.

Prince: If Stanley leaves the Earth, on the Lexx, I will be very unhappy.

Prince leans over to make eye contact with Priest.

Prince: And I will make sure that you are very unhappy as well...Mr. President.

And walks over and sits down on the couch across from them, and picks up Bunny's pink purse. Bunny is shocked by this.

Bunny: How can you treat the president like that?

Prince: Easily...

Priest: ...and always.

Prince: It's in my nature. I am to dominate...

Priest: ...all the time.

Prince: In every way. My every whim...

Priest: ...is my instruction.

Prince: So...

Priest: Yes?

Priest looks up at Prince, who has his right hand out for him to kiss.

Priest: Ah...

Priest rushes over to kiss Prince's hand and leaves Bunny in question. Prince asks another question as Priest sits beside him.

Prince: How do we persuade Stanley Tweedle to remain on this planet?

Priest: A clever way...a very clever way.

Prince: Which is?

Priest: Something that you will think of.