All our tomorrows are now.

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All our Tomorrows are now.

Foreward:
This is an extended scene/fic from the episode 'All our Tomorrows are now, season 3.
With all the nice explicit parts of Spock and Zarabeth's encounter back in the caves of Sarpeidon's past.

Spock slowly reverts back to the primitive emotional Vulcans of 5,000 years ago. Including well known biological functions that resurface.

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There was something wrong. He felt it.
And the fact that he was using the term 'feel', was exactly that.

He hadn't once had the need to eat or drink, although the cold would have normally taxed his strength and constitution. Logically, he should be famished1 Vulcans where desert bred, the ice-age climate played havoc with his system. He concluded that it must be exactly for this reason he'd felt restless and without any appetite the last few hours.

Conversation with Zarabeth was... fascinating. As well as distracting to say the least.

The women was truly exceptionaly bright and he couldn't help but feel drawn to her beauty as well. Conversations with her seemed to be one sided, he watched her lips and face go through the different emotions he had catalogued observing humans while in starfleet. He gave appropriate responses but couldn't shake the sensation of... oddness that crept from her as she went on. Especially when the topic came to loneliness. Perhaps his stare was embarrassing her? She broke eye contact.

"Have something to eat please." Her gaze fell on the floor.

He didn't stop staring at her. "If it pleases you."
She lifted her gaze back towards him, her eyes alight with something Spock had seen often in other women looking at him with. Christine, Uhura and Droxine came to mind. Illogically, he... sensed that this was infinitly more important than the other females he'd seen this expression directed towards him.

It was then that he looked to the side and realized that he'd been leaning and not sitting straight as was his usual manner.

"This is animal flesh?" he said with more disdain that he'd wished too in his voice.

"Well there's not much else to eat around here I'm afraid." Zarabeth almost looked ashamed at her offering him food. She understood from his tone that he loathed it.

"Naturally because of the climate." He added to assuage her fears of her being the cause of his displeasure.

His brain clicked back into analysis of his problems. He commented on the heat source of the caves and how he could live more naturally with her. She smiled and he resigned himself to eating to please her. As he tasted it, the salt and texture invaded his senses and wasn't as repugnant as he anticipated. His inner reaction to it not as harsh as he'd thought it to be... knowing it was odd in the extreame. This was one of his greatest self-restrictions and at the base of his vulcan culture.

She made comments about her living in the ice-age alone and only with the tools she made kept her alive. He felt her need for companionship and even made a comment on her looks. He stopped, astounded at himself for it.

"The cold must have affected me more than I'd realized! Please pay no attention I am not myself."

He sat up, the world spun but at the same time...didn't. A contradiction of sensations. He was acting oddly, he knew it and felt ashamed for it. Feeling of uncertittude and confusion. Endoctrinned all his life to the surety of logic and control, lacking it was as strongly unnerving a taboo as that of a human running stark naked in a crowd yelling obscenities.

"I am behaving disgracefully. I have eaten animal flesh and I've enjoyed it." He paused and self analyzed. "What's wrong with me?!"

Zarabeth didn't understand. Intelligent as she was she didn't know anything about Vulcan culture. In her minds she processed... This alien man that intrigued her and played with her senses and emotions. Is surely a vegetarian and unused to outwardly giving compliments. She held her calm as he mulled almost in palatable anger towards himself. He even added the last as if it was outside of his normal behavior to say so.

"I tell you, you are beautiful..." He paused, hearing himself say it directly, more than just a passing comment, was quite different.

Her gazes lifted upwards with an expression of joy and hope he'd seldom seen. He felt... yes felt something inside him respond emotionally to her own outward expression. It was a pleasant feeling and for once he did not clamp his shields nor push it away and allowed himself the luxury of experiencing it.

This burning, this burning he'd only felt once before! He couldn't believe it was happening here! Not even a year had gone by since his first pon farr. Could it be something to do with their body being changed by the Atavachron as they had went through the portal?

He approached her, almost cautiously. Feline in his grace as Vulcans where, unknowingly charming her further.

"But... you are beautiful."

He took steps towards the women. Looking her up and down and his gaze stopped momentarily at her exposed stomach and breasts. Yes, the burning was real! Yet it wasn't overwhelming or consuming. It was incessant and annoying yet in a pleasant sort of way. What a contradiction. A slight moment of shame crept back at his emotional display.

"Is it so wrong of me to tell you so?"

"I have longed to hear you said it."
Her voice was husky, a seductive smile graced her beautiful lips and she answered breathlessly.

Something snapped in him. He was frowning, confused at what was going on inside of his chest. It was tightening and he stepped in front of her to break her stare of the wall behind him and invaded her vision. She looked at him with an expression that reminded him of Leila Kalomi but that memory was so far and fuzzy, clouded by chemical effects of alien spores. It didn't matter right now.

Like a fleeing animal caught in the gaze of a predator he was caught by her sparkling eyes. Drawn to it. He swallowed. Her lips where beautiful and soft, inviting. He'd seen humans kiss and deep within himself he found there was a curiosity there. What would they feel on his own lips? His touch on her face left a static telepathic expression of anticipation. He knew she wasn't averse to the contact.

He leaned forward. A brief moment of uncertainty passed. Was he doing this correctly? Would she really allow it? He pulled back and saw her eyes closed, completely relaxed. His hands touching, going through her surface thoughts; Yes... she wanted this experience with him. The momentary reluctance, shyness and shame of loosing his emotional control washed away and he leaned forward, capturing her lips.

Soft, warmth, compassion, passion, need, lust, want, excitement. All of these rushed upon his senses and he deepened the kiss. Feeling her hands grab his back he leaned slightly forward grabbing her back as well. Her skin silky under his hands. She opened her mouth.

With little experience in the matter he copied the movement and felt her tongue lick the inside of his mouth, tasting. He burned, fiercly. He picked her up with ease that Vulcan strength granted him, slightly surprising her. He felt it from his physical contact with her. But she trusted him.

Joy, unrestrained and unbridled leapt from her to him and he mirrored it as if it was his own. He couldn't help but twirl with the sensation he'd felt maybe once or twice in his adult Vulcan life and the thought that he should be ashamed to feel this didn't occur to him at that moment.

Her weight in his arms was like nothing and he held her tenderly as if she were a jewel. She must be feeling his great strength, his touch told him she was awed and awash with both something he could name as pride or honor and gratefulness.

"You are beautiful... More beautiful than any dream of beauty I've ever known."

She smiled and pecked his lips playfully. A flood of lust invaded all of his senses and for a brief moment he feared it would overwhelm him. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and lowered her slowly to her fur matt.

Smelling her was driving him insane. The fever gripped him but her own temperance slowed his passion down. He felt a mild form of plak tow starting to drag him under it's flame. Pushing his need to mate and consummate to the front of his motivations. He was reminded that she wasn't exactly human, nor aware of alien life-forms and the thought filled him with a slight caution as to his own anatomy.

Would he frighten her? He should perhaps warn her of his telepathy... He had only made created a one-way surface meld. The fact that she was underneath his body, compliant and ready for intimacy was in itself a good indicator he had permission with her. Perhaps...

The fever burnt on with strength and was rising, ready to consume him. Hastilly but as gently as possible he lifted his right hand and placed them at her meld point.

"Zarabeth..." He breathlessly managed.

"Hmm?" She said in a sultry longing voice.

He forced some reasoning past his awakened passions.

"I need to... inform you, of What is going to happen." His fingers danced on her face as a lover's caress, asking permission, feeling her surface thoughts and emotions dance along the tips of his fingers.

"Why speak? Let us simply feel."

She pulled a hand from underneath him and placed it on the side of his face almost in a mimic of his own. He flushed a darker shade of green on his olivine face. This was an intimate gesture in his culture. He sent slowly confusion worry from his side and received startlement through his surface meld.

"I am not... like you."

She gazed up towards him without loosing any of her previous longing. He would have expected to feel fear or apprehension in his touch. He could only read acceptance and confidence.

Oh what a women!

His eyes would have rolled back as overwhelming need threatened to flood his logical thinking and turn him into a rutting beast if he hadn't been anchored shallowly with her by his meld. He found a small piece of centering in him and dove into her mind.

Anatomy, pon farr, blood fever, chenesi, vulcans, hybrids, him, her. Together. One. He told her... or more accuratly transfered the knowledge of his sexuality to her before loosing himself to the burning.

She felt the storm consume him but watched as a simple witness when his mind could no longer discipline and rule itself. His mind threw her roughly to a safe psychological distance from the inferno but she could still feel the heat as if a large explosion had detonated from some distance.

He was over her lapping at her neck with his tongue. Grabbing, feeling, scratching, panting. A deep throated growl rumbled from his chest, exciting her further and she twisted and rithed underneath him as his need grew, pressing itself over her stomach. She knew now what this was from the meld. That he was no longer Spock, but she loved it and the thought of this handsome animal ravishing her was no detterant to her own passions. She was wet with excitement. Removing her leather thong off would be an easy matter but for the man presently lapping behind her ear and dry-humping her, the task would not be so easy.

She decided that in his state he wouldn't be able to and she did not wish to damage them. Everything out in the cold desert of an ice-age was precious. She wiggled and moaned genuinely as he explored her with his hands.

Urgency, urgency, urgency! It was the thing she could feel almost climbing like waves of an ocean hitting the rocks of a rocky beach, the tide comming to claim them.

She understood and tried her best to send soothing feelings through the link she felt he had created between them. This was like a fantasy come true. Like some of the books she'd mentioned she had loved reading about. Legendary creatures and galant humanoid men from other planets.

Now she was being intimate with one! He was so alien, his telepathy so strange yet alluring. His inability while copulating to think clearly, endearing. Fire raging in his mind and pumping through his blood. Hot so hot!

She arched beneath him and he moaned. She was able to get at the clasp of his belt and pants and lowered them. He helped by mindlessly kicking his boots and managed to kick off his pants while she pulled both his upper and lower jacket to reveal his olivine skin and a very sexy fur covered chest. Yes, fur. it did not have the same coarsness as a man of her own species.

Spock wormed a hand under her leather and onto her breast, his hand felt like an pressing iron. He was so inhumanly warm. In this barren icy wasteland however it was paradise on earth for her senses! She moaned as he left blazing trails of warmth along her stomach, denuding her of her sparse leather cloathing.

Unconsciously she trailed hand behind his back and arrived the small of his back, placing gently butterfly-like scratches. She felt slight bumps and he arched and as her fingers drew over them with curiosity he cried out passionately.

"Ha! Haaaa !Ashal-veh Fator sanoi! Fa... Fator!*"

Was that his native language? He didn't sound pained, she smiled and drew her hand over the bumps on his back again, from what she could tell that was what he seemed to want. He moaned silkfully. Some amount of fire left him in his delight and she felt with that odd bond he had connected her with him that some sort of curtain had parted through the raging storm in his mind.

"Lo'uk sanosh." He panted. "That feels... wonderful."

The handsome Vulcan making love to a lovely young woman, whom on from his perspective was as alien to him as he was to her, briefly broke from his blood fever. Thinking clearly for a few seconds through the haze of mating passions. His chenesi were engorged?!! He could... impregnate her if their biology was compatible.

She drew her hands over his reproductive organs and once again he fell back into the primal need and lust. This backlashed into her and she felt overwhelming arousal flow through her and launguidelly moaned into her ear which made her arch her back. Divested of his uniform and her own so easy to part, he licked her stomach and smelled her own body's preparation for his entry. Almost drunkenly he lifted her legs and watched her with eyes aflame with need, his erection engorged with blood and burning next to her entrance.

"Katelau'I.**"

He managed to say breathlessly, not really asking. Stating. She didn't need to know his language to understand through the constant physical contact what his intentions where. He was mind melded through his touch and intimacy with her. He was going to enter and mate with her.

She leaned forward to see his dripping member. It wasn't at all what she expected a man's too look like, but neither did it frighten her. Long dark and engorged with his green blood, double ridges flaring in his passion. She had to admit to herself that it was both strange, scarry and erotic at the same time. It was dripping near her entrance and she felt a drip of it fall on her stomach. Her spike of arousal jumped along the bond into him and he growled like a beast and mounted her.

Legs spread out with his hands and without even having to maneuver his phallus too much, he aimed and pushed into her entrance. Indeed it felt as if she was made for him and she was so wet and excited there was almost no resistance as he bucked and pushed forward, grunting.

He collected her in his stronger than human arms and started thrusting into her immediatly. This at least was not much difference between both their species. The dances remained the same. In, out, in, out. Passion rising, mounting, cresting.

Spock was animalistic in his claiming of her, he nibbled her neck eliciting exclamations of passion from the lovely women writhing underneath his burning body. He felt himself almost floating, lifting, the billowing firestorm in his mind flared like the sun's random arms reaching outwards into space and he climaxed. His mental link blinding the women he was fucking with his orgasm.

She felt it through him and it became a catalyst of her own. While hers lasted only briefly she couldn't differentiate when hers finished while his continued. It went on for a good half minute. He thrust sporadically into her, she felt his own fluids spill and overflow her own sex. The bond permitted her to feel his orgasm not exactly as her own but as a secondhand sensation as wonderful as the mounting passions preceding her own. It catalyst another of her own.

He shook slightly from his climax. Intense as it was she was surprised he wasn't senselessly unconscious. If the mental bond would have been stronger she was positive she would have fallen into it.

He panted, still flushed green but the fever had passed and self-awareness was returning into his eyes. He looked up to her pleased gaze and uncharacteristically smiled as well. Brushed her damp hair away from her face and placed a tender kiss upon her temple sending a simple honest thought of affection through by telepathy.

"This is how your people mate?"

Spock frowned.

"No... there is much more... raw physical passion involved... usually. And much more of it. I did not wish to hurt you. I does feel quite... tame in comparison."

She laughed good naturedly.

"Tame would not be the words I would use in this case. You were wonderful."

Both accepted what had happened, he felt wonderfully at peace with her. She frowned slightly and he felt concern from her as he shifted to her side. The skin to skin contact made the bond stronger. He smoothed the concern with a responding gentleness he was unused to expressing. He had shown emotion, shouldn't he feel ashamed? Only to her, his Zarabeth. Beautiful Zarabeth.

All would be alright. He forgot about anything else for a while.

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He went through the portal with McCoy, the ripping of the bond with Zarabeth tore at his senses. On the the other side and in the present it felt as if strings of his mind reconnected together. Clasping to each other like opposite magnets.

His head hurt briefly.

The man responsible for their missfortune dashed through the portal with him. He gazed at the retreating form and peered outwards through the doorway in deep thought. Reliving the past moments and experiences he had felt in that world's past with her.

The bond had been new. It's disapearance hurt mentally but was not utterly devastating as a long term t'hy'la bondmate's would be. He mulled over the loss of the connection. He would need to meditate upon it soon but presently formed a dull temporary aknowledgment of facts and settled it in the back of his analytic mind. He was acutely aware of McCoy observing his reactions.

"There is no further need to observe me doctor. As you can see I have returned to the present in every sense.

"But it did happen Spock."

Leonard was reacting as any good doctor would with a fellow human who'd lost a fellow or a close loved one. Did he believe his Vulcan friend was in miss-guided denial? From past observations he was aware humans often protected themselves emotionally with this technique. Especially children. It insulted him slightly but he did not let it show.

"Yes. It happened, but that was 5,000 years ago... and she is dead now. Dead and buried.... Long ago..."

He was ashamed that he felt so much emotion at the moment and that it had come through his voice. Jim was busy communicating with the ship and hadn't heard a word of their exchange. Fortunately for Spock the doctor was wise enough not to comment on the matter. He was dealing with it as a logical Vulcan would.

He concluded that since she was from the past. What was done, was done a long time ago and no longer affected him. It was a very Vulcan like doctrine not to dwell on prior events and he dealt with his loss in the same fashion. Future meditations would settle it as fact in his mind.

He had only one brief other unrelated thought of her that troubled and eluded him for the next month before he could pinpoint it and deal with it in his private meditations.

Had he impregnated her?
The thought made him feel quite guilty and much grieved... illogical.

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"I had once told your father, that to be utterly alone... if that wasn't death. What was?"

She smiled as her son slobbered over a piece of bone. He cooed at her, still unable to understand her at such a young age. He looked so much like his father. Black hair and faint tapered ears. Though he bled red and never blushed green he seemed stronger and learned very rapidly. It probably came from his father. She loved him dearly. He would always remind her of him.

I love you Spock. You've given me a reason to live again!
She'd tell Sudak stories that she had read in her books about people that came from far beyond their sun.

Over and over about him, his father.

Her one-time lover from the stars.

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Notes:

Just corrected a few mistakes 18July.