I remeber...
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Category:
M through R › NCIS
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
1
Views:
4,065
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own NCIS and i do not make money from writting this.
I remeber...
A/n: inspired by this Tibbs Vid on youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-t_8mqKOZs&
aditional warning: english is not my first language and i did not find abeta for this. anyone interested?
The car drove slowly into the very familiar drive way. A tall form stepped out of the car. The man was breathing evenly and his face was controlled, as he walked inside the house. As the door closed Tony slid down the door and leaned against it sobbing his heart out. His heart was breaking and there was nothing he could do to stop it. It took a whole hour before the sobs finally stopped. By that time he had puked his guts out on the floor beside him.
He stood on shaking legs and moved further into the house he had lived for 6 months now with his lover. The same lover who was in the hospital without any memory of him, of their year together. He had loved Gibbs so long that even the thought of not kissing the man again, almost made him break down a second time.
He held it together long enough that he got into the bedroom. He looked at the still messy bed. They had not had time to make it the last morning together because Jet had gotten a bit frisky. So instead of being late they skipped the making the bed. Thinking that they would have time.
He could feel the tears choking him up again. He had kept it in for the time it took for Gibbs to wake up. They had closed the case and averted disaster. Gibbs was back in the hospital and Tony needed to get a shower and call a moving company. Only Abby, the Probie and Ducks knew about him and Gibbs. It had been quietly suggested that he move in with Ducky until they found out if Gibbs memory would ever return.
Gibbs thought he had just lost Shannon. That meant that he did not have a thought in his head of being with a man. Meaning that finding another mans clothes and things in his home was not the best thing.
Getting undressed was mechanical and when he stepped into the shower he allowed himself to break down again. He was losing Gibbs he knew it. This year was too good to be true. To find love like the one he had with Jet. The ache in his heart reached a all time peak as he curled up under the shower stream, the tears flowing freely as his sobs echo in the small cubical.
The first kiss of cold water on his skin made him try to move again. Moved out of the shower and curled up in the bed still wet. He pulled Gibbs pillow closer and breathed in the familiar scent of sawdust, gun oil and bourbon. The scent reached his mind and he started to shake again. His whole body shook with the force of the sobs. He cried himself to sleep.
Waking the next morning he had a headache and his body felt like led. He got up showered and briskly went about his morning. Coffee, toast, drink eat. His mind focused only on those details of his morning, the phone call to the same mover that had moved him into the house.
//No don’t think about it. //
There was cleanup of the mess in the hall. He changes the bed sheets and washes them. He knew how accurate Gibbs sense of smell was. He got a storage room for his shit. The entertainment centre. The computer. The bookcases and all his books. His movies and the things still in boxes in the garage. He would only take clothes and basics to ducky.
As he moved with a purpose trough the house, he packed each room in moving boxes that he kept after the last move. Tony had hoped to never need them again. When he was done the movers got there and helped him pack the heavy stuff. He was stone faced most of the time. Ignoring the polite chitchat of the movers, that soon grew quiet. They were good guys but frankly he was not in the move. He gave them the lock to the storage unit and instructions to get the things there and just lock it up. He stood in the doorway and watched the truck drive off.
As he was about to enter to get his bags Duck’s Morgan moved around the corner of the street. Anthony stood were he was waiting for the older man to come up to the house.
“I came to check on you M’boy… “The ME said with a sad smile as he walked up the steps. “ I know this can’t be easy for you. “
The ME saw the light sparkle weakly in Tony’s normally so expressive eyes.
“Yeah to give up my home for 6 months. Never know if the man I love more then life will ever remember me again… “ Tony gave a humourless laugh “ .. yeah really I am peachy doc…”
They shared a glance that spoke of understanding and friendship. Ducky understood the pain in Tony’s eyes. Tony knew that this situation did not only affect him. He had lost a lover. But Ducky stood to loose his best friend of 20 odd years.
“Just let me make a walkthrough and grab my bags and we’ll go Ducky… “
He walked true the house. He stopped at the front doors threshold. He looked up into the sky.
//please god let me return… //
With a sigh he walked out of his home.
The next day would prove that his heart was not completely shattered after all. Gibbs memories were back. But he did not remember Tony. He remembered Dinozzo.
Tony swallowed his pride and acted like his heart was not breaking. Watching him say goodbye, and then walk away. He had returned home to Ducky that night and cried his heart out in the older mans guest room.
Then he had to go on with his life. A week later despite Ducky’s protest he found an apartment and he moved in. Taking over the team was hard. But he hid the pain behind wisecracks. He tried to know everything to hide the fact that he did not know anything.
But the facade was cracking. He honestly did not know how long he could keep going. Every instance of his life reminded him of Jet.
******
Gibbs had quietly left the country and gone down to Mexico with Mike. He felt like his steps were haunted. He could not understand it. He had hoped by leaving DC and the house he lived with his wife that the feeling would go away. But it hadn’t he could feel a sharp pang in his heart when ever he caught a whiff of lemons. It was so weird because Shannon smelled like lilies.
Why did he have a strange feeling it was something he could still not remember? Why would he still reach for his love in his sleep, so many years after his wife’s death? He was seated on the steps of Mikes cabin. He was watching the sea churning. Kind of like his gut.
Could the team have not told him that he had found love again? Mike would. But then again he knew that they had not met in years. The team was a question mark if they even knew. Because he had always been very private.
He closed his eyes, trying to remember. He was almost desperate to find out the truth, why he felt haunted.
Soft lips against his, kissing him gently. The wonder and emotion of finally feeling those lips against his own. Tangling his fingers in short locks. The scent of lemons, mint and sweat.
He opened his eyes startled. He could almost feel the tingle in his lips from the kiss. The feeling of silk between his fingers. The memory was so vivid. It was not his first kiss with Shannon. Because that kiss he remembered. It had been fumbled and hurried.
This had been knowing and comfortable, like coming home. He stood suddenly feeling the urge to move. He walked down the beach and stumbled to his knees as another memory rushes to the surface.
Curling around a body in his bed, sated from lovemaking. He could feel the stickiness of drying sweat on his skin. The bulk of the body in front of him was a not a woman. But that did not seem to matter. His hands moved over strong abs down to caress the upper thighs making his companion moan.
“Like that … you insatiable thing… “
He was breathing hard when he started to pay attention to his body again. He could feel his cock throbbing between his legs. His body had not problem with it being a man he so obviously had fallen for. He didn’t know how he felt. He thought to himself that he must still be in shock.
He stood and glanced down to his cock.
“Behave…” He thought of something completely un-sexy. Soon he could feel the throbbing go away.
He had a hard time wrapping his head around being with a man. But then again he obviously had. So something must have made him face it. He could not see himself giving in to any man without love being a part of it so he was reassured at that point and sad as well.
Because it meant that there was a man out there probably heartbroken because he could not remember him. He needed to figure this out. No longer only for himself.
A week later Gibbs found himself standing outside his old friend’s house. If it was someone he would have told about a meeting someone it would be Ducky. He would have been the man Gibbs went to see about his feelings for a man part to because of the older man being gay himself.
He smiled at Ducky’s stunned look as he opened the door.
“Jethro? Your back?”
“Yeah Duck. Can I come in..”
“Of course Jethro my dear. Come in ..” The older man stepped aside and let Gibbs inside his warm home. Doctor Mallard watched Gibbs with a critical eye. After inviting him into the parlour and serving the older man a stiff drink, Ducky had to ask.
“So M’ dear why have you returned? Miss Ncis?” His tone was teasing but also concerned.
“It was time to get out of Mikes hair. He was treating to kill me.” He smirked and took a drink before continuing. “Also I have been having some funny flashbacks. Was I seeing someone at the time of the accident?”
He saw the flash of pain and guilt in Ducky’s eyes. This was one of the reasons he had decided to go to his friend and get some answers. The older man could not keep a secret if he was asked a direct question.
“Who?” at the older mans shake he continued not a little angry. “Come on Duck I have a right to know who this guy is. Yeah I remember that much… “
“Jethro My dear, think about it. This man has sense you left started to pick up his life again. He was heartbroken; I took care of him myself and will not allow him to be crushed again. Please I beg of you Jethro. Do not approach him unless you’re sure.”
Gibbs sat silently for almost 5 minutes enjoying the friendly silence.
“Can you at least tell me about him duck?”
“No I think it would be best for you to remember it yourself.”
They did not speak of it again. Talking more general of the team and how it had been the months that Gibbs had been away. They ate a quiet dinner together with Ducky’s mother. Then Gibbs went home. Declining the older mans offer of a bed for the night. He wanted to get back to his own house and his own bed.
Returning he found a spick and span house and knew that his cleaning service had done its job well. He walked around the house checking every room. Strange enough he felt like something was missing. But the funny thing was that everything was as his still patchy memory said it should be. But somehow his gut said otherwise.
He walked into the bedroom. The bed was made. Not as tight as he wanted it but still ok. Something made him stop.
Something was different about the room. Then he saw it. It was a thicker quilt on the bed and there were 4 pillows instead of just 2. He had never gotten any new pillows when he tossed out Shannon’s the year after she died.
He sat down on the bedside that was not his. He picked up the pillow, putting it to his nose and taking a deep breath. The scent of lemon and mint filled his senses. It was very faint. Like the person that slept on it hadn’t been there long. It was late and he just needed to sleep.
The next morning he awoke by a voice downstairs.
“You mean to tell me Norell that no one of your girl has been here today?” The voice was familiar. Dinozzo. He got up pulling on his pants and a t-shirt, sneaking down the stairs. Gibbs listens to Dinozzo keep talking to the woman he knew was the boss at his cleaning company. “Yes I was here to check it out yesterday and today I come here and the door in unlocked. Yeah I forgot my cell phone… no he is still not back. No, I hope so. Ok then I believe you. I will call.”
Gibbs sat down at the top of the stairs with a smile. The house felt alive again and for the first time sense his memory had returned his gut was quiet. Could this man, his former agent be part of the equation? He was good looking enough and his personality was intriguing. He had a heart of gold and a talent for Field work. He remembered always liking the man more then he should. Had that changed some how?
The mind numbing fear as he realises what has happened the controlled fury as he fights to find a cure for Tony. For his Tony . But the fury bleeds away slowly as the fear settles in.
Why does he feel like this? Then the answer is found. Now that he knows that Tony is going to be ok, he is filled with an overwhelming rush of euphoria. He rushes into the hospitals elevator and growls at anyone who tries to get in. when the doors close he lets out an almost silent sob of relief.
He looks up his blue eyes wet with tears. They widen.
“Fuck I love him…”
He stood up. Walking down the steps his memory flashing in his mind. Memories of their first kiss a weak after Tony was realised from the hospital. The night they told Ducky. Their trip together. Gibbs used ever inch of his iron control not to give away what he was thinking.
“Tony…” he smirked as the other man jumped around and stood staring at him with wide eyes.
“Jet… your back… I mean boss your back!” Gibbs sees the mask com up around the man his heart is now screaming for. He walks down the steps and up too Tony. He looks calmly into so familiar blue eyes.
The silence stretches out and they just look at each other. The older man stood so close to Tony that when he breathes in, he could smell lemon and mint and sweat. The side of Jethro’s mouth twitches as he snakes a hand around Tony’s neck and pulls him in for a deep kiss.
Tony is shocked as his boss pulls him in to his arms. That can mean only one thing right? He tries to fight the kiss but as always he gives in and melts against the other man. Soon enough oxygen becomes an issue and they break apart.
“You remember?” Tony asks his voice shaking as he looks into warm blue eyes. Before He lowered his head and kissed Tony again he said, with a voice just as shaky.
“I remember…..”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-t_8mqKOZs&
aditional warning: english is not my first language and i did not find abeta for this. anyone interested?
I remember ….
The car drove slowly into the very familiar drive way. A tall form stepped out of the car. The man was breathing evenly and his face was controlled, as he walked inside the house. As the door closed Tony slid down the door and leaned against it sobbing his heart out. His heart was breaking and there was nothing he could do to stop it. It took a whole hour before the sobs finally stopped. By that time he had puked his guts out on the floor beside him.
He stood on shaking legs and moved further into the house he had lived for 6 months now with his lover. The same lover who was in the hospital without any memory of him, of their year together. He had loved Gibbs so long that even the thought of not kissing the man again, almost made him break down a second time.
He held it together long enough that he got into the bedroom. He looked at the still messy bed. They had not had time to make it the last morning together because Jet had gotten a bit frisky. So instead of being late they skipped the making the bed. Thinking that they would have time.
He could feel the tears choking him up again. He had kept it in for the time it took for Gibbs to wake up. They had closed the case and averted disaster. Gibbs was back in the hospital and Tony needed to get a shower and call a moving company. Only Abby, the Probie and Ducks knew about him and Gibbs. It had been quietly suggested that he move in with Ducky until they found out if Gibbs memory would ever return.
Gibbs thought he had just lost Shannon. That meant that he did not have a thought in his head of being with a man. Meaning that finding another mans clothes and things in his home was not the best thing.
Getting undressed was mechanical and when he stepped into the shower he allowed himself to break down again. He was losing Gibbs he knew it. This year was too good to be true. To find love like the one he had with Jet. The ache in his heart reached a all time peak as he curled up under the shower stream, the tears flowing freely as his sobs echo in the small cubical.
The first kiss of cold water on his skin made him try to move again. Moved out of the shower and curled up in the bed still wet. He pulled Gibbs pillow closer and breathed in the familiar scent of sawdust, gun oil and bourbon. The scent reached his mind and he started to shake again. His whole body shook with the force of the sobs. He cried himself to sleep.
Waking the next morning he had a headache and his body felt like led. He got up showered and briskly went about his morning. Coffee, toast, drink eat. His mind focused only on those details of his morning, the phone call to the same mover that had moved him into the house.
//No don’t think about it. //
There was cleanup of the mess in the hall. He changes the bed sheets and washes them. He knew how accurate Gibbs sense of smell was. He got a storage room for his shit. The entertainment centre. The computer. The bookcases and all his books. His movies and the things still in boxes in the garage. He would only take clothes and basics to ducky.
As he moved with a purpose trough the house, he packed each room in moving boxes that he kept after the last move. Tony had hoped to never need them again. When he was done the movers got there and helped him pack the heavy stuff. He was stone faced most of the time. Ignoring the polite chitchat of the movers, that soon grew quiet. They were good guys but frankly he was not in the move. He gave them the lock to the storage unit and instructions to get the things there and just lock it up. He stood in the doorway and watched the truck drive off.
As he was about to enter to get his bags Duck’s Morgan moved around the corner of the street. Anthony stood were he was waiting for the older man to come up to the house.
“I came to check on you M’boy… “The ME said with a sad smile as he walked up the steps. “ I know this can’t be easy for you. “
The ME saw the light sparkle weakly in Tony’s normally so expressive eyes.
“Yeah to give up my home for 6 months. Never know if the man I love more then life will ever remember me again… “ Tony gave a humourless laugh “ .. yeah really I am peachy doc…”
They shared a glance that spoke of understanding and friendship. Ducky understood the pain in Tony’s eyes. Tony knew that this situation did not only affect him. He had lost a lover. But Ducky stood to loose his best friend of 20 odd years.
“Just let me make a walkthrough and grab my bags and we’ll go Ducky… “
He walked true the house. He stopped at the front doors threshold. He looked up into the sky.
//please god let me return… //
With a sigh he walked out of his home.
The next day would prove that his heart was not completely shattered after all. Gibbs memories were back. But he did not remember Tony. He remembered Dinozzo.
Tony swallowed his pride and acted like his heart was not breaking. Watching him say goodbye, and then walk away. He had returned home to Ducky that night and cried his heart out in the older mans guest room.
Then he had to go on with his life. A week later despite Ducky’s protest he found an apartment and he moved in. Taking over the team was hard. But he hid the pain behind wisecracks. He tried to know everything to hide the fact that he did not know anything.
But the facade was cracking. He honestly did not know how long he could keep going. Every instance of his life reminded him of Jet.
******
Gibbs had quietly left the country and gone down to Mexico with Mike. He felt like his steps were haunted. He could not understand it. He had hoped by leaving DC and the house he lived with his wife that the feeling would go away. But it hadn’t he could feel a sharp pang in his heart when ever he caught a whiff of lemons. It was so weird because Shannon smelled like lilies.
Why did he have a strange feeling it was something he could still not remember? Why would he still reach for his love in his sleep, so many years after his wife’s death? He was seated on the steps of Mikes cabin. He was watching the sea churning. Kind of like his gut.
Could the team have not told him that he had found love again? Mike would. But then again he knew that they had not met in years. The team was a question mark if they even knew. Because he had always been very private.
He closed his eyes, trying to remember. He was almost desperate to find out the truth, why he felt haunted.
Soft lips against his, kissing him gently. The wonder and emotion of finally feeling those lips against his own. Tangling his fingers in short locks. The scent of lemons, mint and sweat.
He opened his eyes startled. He could almost feel the tingle in his lips from the kiss. The feeling of silk between his fingers. The memory was so vivid. It was not his first kiss with Shannon. Because that kiss he remembered. It had been fumbled and hurried.
This had been knowing and comfortable, like coming home. He stood suddenly feeling the urge to move. He walked down the beach and stumbled to his knees as another memory rushes to the surface.
Curling around a body in his bed, sated from lovemaking. He could feel the stickiness of drying sweat on his skin. The bulk of the body in front of him was a not a woman. But that did not seem to matter. His hands moved over strong abs down to caress the upper thighs making his companion moan.
“Like that … you insatiable thing… “
He was breathing hard when he started to pay attention to his body again. He could feel his cock throbbing between his legs. His body had not problem with it being a man he so obviously had fallen for. He didn’t know how he felt. He thought to himself that he must still be in shock.
He stood and glanced down to his cock.
“Behave…” He thought of something completely un-sexy. Soon he could feel the throbbing go away.
He had a hard time wrapping his head around being with a man. But then again he obviously had. So something must have made him face it. He could not see himself giving in to any man without love being a part of it so he was reassured at that point and sad as well.
Because it meant that there was a man out there probably heartbroken because he could not remember him. He needed to figure this out. No longer only for himself.
A week later Gibbs found himself standing outside his old friend’s house. If it was someone he would have told about a meeting someone it would be Ducky. He would have been the man Gibbs went to see about his feelings for a man part to because of the older man being gay himself.
He smiled at Ducky’s stunned look as he opened the door.
“Jethro? Your back?”
“Yeah Duck. Can I come in..”
“Of course Jethro my dear. Come in ..” The older man stepped aside and let Gibbs inside his warm home. Doctor Mallard watched Gibbs with a critical eye. After inviting him into the parlour and serving the older man a stiff drink, Ducky had to ask.
“So M’ dear why have you returned? Miss Ncis?” His tone was teasing but also concerned.
“It was time to get out of Mikes hair. He was treating to kill me.” He smirked and took a drink before continuing. “Also I have been having some funny flashbacks. Was I seeing someone at the time of the accident?”
He saw the flash of pain and guilt in Ducky’s eyes. This was one of the reasons he had decided to go to his friend and get some answers. The older man could not keep a secret if he was asked a direct question.
“Who?” at the older mans shake he continued not a little angry. “Come on Duck I have a right to know who this guy is. Yeah I remember that much… “
“Jethro My dear, think about it. This man has sense you left started to pick up his life again. He was heartbroken; I took care of him myself and will not allow him to be crushed again. Please I beg of you Jethro. Do not approach him unless you’re sure.”
Gibbs sat silently for almost 5 minutes enjoying the friendly silence.
“Can you at least tell me about him duck?”
“No I think it would be best for you to remember it yourself.”
They did not speak of it again. Talking more general of the team and how it had been the months that Gibbs had been away. They ate a quiet dinner together with Ducky’s mother. Then Gibbs went home. Declining the older mans offer of a bed for the night. He wanted to get back to his own house and his own bed.
Returning he found a spick and span house and knew that his cleaning service had done its job well. He walked around the house checking every room. Strange enough he felt like something was missing. But the funny thing was that everything was as his still patchy memory said it should be. But somehow his gut said otherwise.
He walked into the bedroom. The bed was made. Not as tight as he wanted it but still ok. Something made him stop.
Something was different about the room. Then he saw it. It was a thicker quilt on the bed and there were 4 pillows instead of just 2. He had never gotten any new pillows when he tossed out Shannon’s the year after she died.
He sat down on the bedside that was not his. He picked up the pillow, putting it to his nose and taking a deep breath. The scent of lemon and mint filled his senses. It was very faint. Like the person that slept on it hadn’t been there long. It was late and he just needed to sleep.
The next morning he awoke by a voice downstairs.
“You mean to tell me Norell that no one of your girl has been here today?” The voice was familiar. Dinozzo. He got up pulling on his pants and a t-shirt, sneaking down the stairs. Gibbs listens to Dinozzo keep talking to the woman he knew was the boss at his cleaning company. “Yes I was here to check it out yesterday and today I come here and the door in unlocked. Yeah I forgot my cell phone… no he is still not back. No, I hope so. Ok then I believe you. I will call.”
Gibbs sat down at the top of the stairs with a smile. The house felt alive again and for the first time sense his memory had returned his gut was quiet. Could this man, his former agent be part of the equation? He was good looking enough and his personality was intriguing. He had a heart of gold and a talent for Field work. He remembered always liking the man more then he should. Had that changed some how?
The mind numbing fear as he realises what has happened the controlled fury as he fights to find a cure for Tony. For his Tony . But the fury bleeds away slowly as the fear settles in.
Why does he feel like this? Then the answer is found. Now that he knows that Tony is going to be ok, he is filled with an overwhelming rush of euphoria. He rushes into the hospitals elevator and growls at anyone who tries to get in. when the doors close he lets out an almost silent sob of relief.
He looks up his blue eyes wet with tears. They widen.
“Fuck I love him…”
He stood up. Walking down the steps his memory flashing in his mind. Memories of their first kiss a weak after Tony was realised from the hospital. The night they told Ducky. Their trip together. Gibbs used ever inch of his iron control not to give away what he was thinking.
“Tony…” he smirked as the other man jumped around and stood staring at him with wide eyes.
“Jet… your back… I mean boss your back!” Gibbs sees the mask com up around the man his heart is now screaming for. He walks down the steps and up too Tony. He looks calmly into so familiar blue eyes.
The silence stretches out and they just look at each other. The older man stood so close to Tony that when he breathes in, he could smell lemon and mint and sweat. The side of Jethro’s mouth twitches as he snakes a hand around Tony’s neck and pulls him in for a deep kiss.
Tony is shocked as his boss pulls him in to his arms. That can mean only one thing right? He tries to fight the kiss but as always he gives in and melts against the other man. Soon enough oxygen becomes an issue and they break apart.
“You remember?” Tony asks his voice shaking as he looks into warm blue eyes. Before He lowered his head and kissed Tony again he said, with a voice just as shaky.
“I remember…..”