Angels in Arms

Angels in Arms


The angel of death stood in the middle of night, wearing jeans and a t-shirt and covered in blood. He had been heaving air, his human lungs burning from having run to this place. It had been a random shooting, a boy with no time left. Andrew had held him until they heard sirens. As an angel, he wasn’t supposed to intervene. As an angel, he had orders, but he wished now more than ever that he had a choice. Free will was a bitch. And so was obligation.

He wiped his face with his arm, not cleaning himself but merely smearing himself with it. He could smell the boy’s life force on him so fresh even though he was gone now. Andrew couldn’t cry. He had no tears left. Not for this. Not this time.

Behind him, there was a glow, and he forced himself not to turn. He didn’t want to see anyone.

“Andrew?”

The voice was soft but masculine – but also, somehow, youthful, adolescent. Andrew wasn’t ready for this.

“It’s over, Rafael.” He didn’t recognize his own voice when he spoke. “He’s gone.”

“I did everything I could…” the sweet voice was so fraught with emotion, but that was Rafael’s way. He was so close to the humans. He understood them in a way most angels didn’t, but that was one of his best qualities.

“I know you did.” Andrew turned and faced him, finally, and Rafael’s eyes were wide at the sight of Andrew’s bloodied shirt and pants. “You always do good work.”

Rafael had spent a better part of the week trying to convince gang bangers not to go after a member of an opposing gang – and it had seemed to be working for a while. He was talking to them on their level, in street talk. All the while, he dropped little messages of faith into some of what he said. He had played it cool, not wanting the other men to think he was weak. He had even been willing to go through initiation where the members beat him – just so that he could gain their trust. But in the end, it had all fallen apart…

Now Rafael shook his head, slowly. “It didn’t work out.”

“Then it wasn’t meant to work out.” Andrew’s voice broke. “God has a plan.”

“I didn’t even get a chance to reveal. These guys were so hell bent…”

“Rafael…” Andrew’s voice was stern as he approached the younger angel. “…it’s over.”

The streetlamps shone down on Rafael’s dark curly hair, bathing him in light. He was breathing so hard, and he wouldn’t meet Andrew’s gaze. Two passersby stumbled past, drunken, huddled together, oblivious. Even if they were sober, they wouldn’t have seen the angels.

Andrew met Rafael’s gaze, concerned. Rafael was generally strong, street smart, a little playful and always optimistic. Now, however, he was broken, riddled with angst. He seemed nearly as young as his human form. Andrew rested a hand on his narrow shoulder and was surprised to feel the skin taught with stress.

“It’s over, Rafael.” He repeated in a soft soothing voice. “We move on, like we always do.”

Rafael nodded, but when his onyx eyes met Andrew’s green ones, they were filled with water. “Right. We move on.” He glared at the elder angel. “So why haven’t you changed out of those clothes? Or maybe you like the feel of human blood on you. You’re so used to death, Andrew, that you can’t even separate yourself from it anymore.”

The wind picked up and blew Andrew’s medium length sandy hair across his face. He didn’t have an answer to that so instead, he changed himself, in the blink of an eye so that he was wearing dry clean clothes. He didn’t want to be a bad influence – and even if what Rafael said was true, he didn’t want to contribute to any negative feelings the Latino angel might be experiencing. Sure, sometimes he walked a thin line between grace and morbidity – but he couldn’t help it. He had seen so much death it was inescapable.

“I’m sorry,” was all he could find it inside himself to say.

“Oh. Of course.” Rafael walked away. “You’re sorry.”

“Don’t do this.” Andrew called after him. “It’s not you.”

And Rafael stopped and turned. Tears streamed down his beige baby face. He was taking this so hard – even harder than was normal. This wasn’t the first death they had experienced and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. But somehow, Rafael had reached his threshold for pain.

“I can’t do this.”

“Yes, you can. You were made for this.” Andrew found it difficult to comfort Rafael when he, himself, was having a hard time dealing. “Listen, now is not the time for weakness. You’re an angel.”

“Yeah? Well, right now…” Rafael’s lip quivered. “…right now, I wish I wasn’t.”

“Don’t.” Andrew felt something inside himself jolt.

“That boy’s life was riding on me.” Rafael’s voice was harsh. “You don’t know what that feels like.”

“Of course I know what that feels like.” Andrew came close to the younger angel. “And you also know that God gives us what we need when we need it.”

Rafael shook his head. “I don’t know if I believe that anymore, Andrew.”

The revelation was shocking and Andrew felt fearful and a little defensive. He felt that he was slowly losing Rafael. “Our Father is an awesome one, Rafael…” he said it in a slow deliberate tone. “…you can’t have forgotten that. You’ve sat right next to His throne!”

Rafael seemed to be pondering the words, turning them over in his mind. When he looked up into those hazel orbs, he had formed an idea. “I want to show you something.”

Andrew nodded, and even as he did they were standing in a hovel of an apartment, a small efficiency. Rafael was moving about the room, searching through boxes of belongings, odds and ends.

“Where is this place?” Andrew touched a tapestry hanging on the wall. It appeared to have ancient Mayan artifacts woven into its brightly colored pattern. It was beautiful.

“I stay here sometimes, when I’m on Earth.” He turned to face Andrew, having found what he was looking for. And he handed the small bundle to Andrew who held it and examined it. “For comfort.”

“What is it?” Andrew turned it over in his hands.

Rafael made a face, embarrassed. “It’s a pillow I made. I’m still working on it.”

“What’s it made of?”

“Angel’s robes.”

Now Andrew made a nervous sound. “You can’t have that here.”

“I need it.” He said plainly. “All the bad stuff we see here, man, all the comforting we do. Who’s there to comfort us?”

Andrew looked at him, matter-of-factly. “I think you know the answer to that, Rafael.”

“Maybe I need something different.” He shrugged, a sad little gesture. “Maybe I’ve been in human form so long that I need something a little more concrete. Don’t you ever want something like that, Andrew? Real arms around you? A real touch?”

Andrew averted his gaze. He didn’t want to admit that he had felt the same on occasion, that sometimes human love might be interesting to experience – at least once. Instead, he shook his head.

“My Father gives me all I need.” He held fast to that declaration, even if he didn’t completely believe it.

Rafael’s eyes were probing, dark and endless. “All you need?”

“Rafael…”

When he approached Andrew, the elder angel was too stunned to back away. What was Rafael thinking? Why did he have a strange glint in his eye, at once fierce and determined? “The problem is, Andrew, I need more. Sometimes.”

“You have to talk to Him.” Andrew could think of nothing else to say.

“But I’m talking to you.” Rafael’s eyes were overflowing.

The angel of death could restrain himself no longer. Instinct drew him close and he put comforting arms around Rafael, holding him close. He was so small in Andrew’s arms, so fragile and boyish. Andrew felt he needed protecting. He whispered in his hair. “Lo siento, Rafael…”

The younger angel wept in earnest now. It had been so long since he had done so. He clung to Andrew, his arms wrapped around his strong shoulders. He pressed in close, needing the contact, his face buried in his shirt as Andrew caressed his hair, fingers flowing against the dark ink-colored waves.

It felt nice, being together like this. Andrew cared so deeply for the younger angel, but he also tottered on a thin line now. He didn’t want to be weak, didn’t want to stray outside his comfort zone. He had always been very clear on the rules, never wandering outside the realm of angelic integrity. The thoughts that crept into his head now spoke so many varying opinions about ‘parameters’. He pulled away to examine Rafael’s face.

“We have to get going.” He put space between them. “We’ll be getting new orders soon.”

Rafael wiped his face, but his hand lingered on Andrew’s shoulder. “Lets go outside. We can look up at the stars.”

Andrew was unsure, but he conceded. There was no reason not to.


Outside, the sky was deep and still. There were a few stars twinkling as they stood out on the roof. Rafael seemed happier here, gazing up into infinity.

“He’s here.” He spoke in a quiet voice. “He’s with us.”

“Always.” Andrew shivered a bit, his body adjusting to the chill.

“He loves us no matter what.”

Andrew nodded. “Of course.”

Rafael turned to look into the darkened green eyes. “Even if… even if we stumble and fall.”

Andrew held his gaze, even as he felt a slight tremor up his spine. It was odd, the way Rafael was speaking tonight. He was unsure what to make of it. “Yes,” he answered. “Even if.”

“And if I say I love you?”

Andrew swallowed. Hard. “Of course you love me, Rafael. I love you too. God’s love is all encompassing…” his voice trailed off because he knew that’s not what Rafael meant.

“Yes.” Rafael nodded, a faint smile on his boyish features. “All encompassing.”

He approached Andrew slowly, put a hand on his cool cheek and brought his mouth up to lay a gentle kiss on the full lips. Andrew gasped softly and flinched, as if burned.

“Don’t do that.” His voice was panicked. “Don’t.”

“It’s not wrong.” Rafael said in a guarded voice. “We have the ability to love…”

“I don’t want to listen to this.” Andrew backed away. “You need to go home.”

“You’re afraid.”

Andrew shook his head, but the words wouldn’t come. It hurt to look at Rafael’s beautiful, café-colored face glowing in the moonlight. He was an art form, and Andrew was too weak to resist it. He had been resisting so much for so long, nearly a millennia! He was too old and stretched too tight. He couldn’t possible do this alone. When he shut his eyes, however, he found there was no prayer for this. What could he say? The truth was, he didn’t want God’s intervention because he wanted Rafael too.

The realization made him shudder as he shut his eyes.

“I’m your direct superior, Rafael.” Andrew tried to sound harsh. “And I’m sending you back.”

“I don’t answer to you.” Rafael’s voice was quiet but firm.

“What do you want?” Andrew was weary and unprepared for what followed.

“Quiero hacerte el amor.”

“No.” The angel of death shook his head. “No, we can’t. I can’t.”

Rafael nodded, as if understanding, but he came close again and pressed his mouth to Andrew’s. He had backed him against brick and was caressing his mouth with his own, inside the shadows. The angel of death was breathing hard, his body responding against his will. His hands were up in a defensive gesture, but how could he push this beautiful creature away? He was powerless to do so.

Rafael held Andrew, one hand in his long silky blond hair, the other resting against his waist. Andrew was torn between fleeing and staying. There were benefits to both. Chill bumps rose up across his skin as he and Rafael found themselves back inside the cozy apartment.

Rafael gently pushed Andrew against the wall and wrapped both arms around him, kissing him passionately, his tongue teasing the edges of Andrew’s mouth before plunging inside, startling the other angel. He had never done any of this. He had never experienced physical love of any kind short of kissing someone’s hand or caressing someone’s hair. He had hugged and held many humans and angels alike, but he had never been kissed – not properly. It was unsettling and thrilling.

“Rafael…” he pulled back enough to say, “…I’ve never… I don’t… I don’t know how…”

The younger angel smiled, a fond expression on his face as he pushed long wheat-colored hair behind a reddening ear. It was strange and exciting to see the normally steady angel, usually so sure of himself and so in charge, suddenly melted into a pliant ball of putty. “It’s fine, mi amor. I’ll show you.”

Andrew lowered his eyes and exhaled, knowing he should stop this, knowing he had the power to stop it. Somehow, though, he felt he was entitled to it, to experience it – just once.

Rafael’s hand worked it way beneath Andrew’s shirt and caressed his lightly hairy chest, let his fingers tangle in the coarse blond hair there. All the while, his black eyes stayed linked with Andrew’s hazel ones, almost jade in his current state. It was like they were speaking silently, and they were in a sense. Andrew was protesting fiercely as Rafael was calming him, soothing his torn spirit. His heart drummed wildly against his chest, playing a worried rhythm against Rafael’s fingers until something in his eyes, something so tranquil in his youthful soul made the angel of death be still, slowed his heart to a steady beat.

The feel of those fluttering brown hands on him was making Andrew react in ways he never had before. Of all the functions of the human body, he’d never been made privy to this because he had kept himself just busy enough that it didn’t matter. Even if he had been yearning for Rafael, he wouldn’t have let himself notice it. Not until now.

And then their lips met again, chaste at first, brief contact between exhalations, then more fervent, hungry. Rafael obviously had practiced elsewhere – or maybe this was something he was naturally good at. Andrew didn’t really want to know. His knees were weak from this. He needed a pause.

“Rafael…” he held the youth at bay with an outstretched hand. “…I need… I need time. Please.”

Rafael’s smile was secretive. “You’re enjoying this.”

Andrew flushed a slight pink. ‘Enjoying’ it didn’t do it justice. He was feeling the ‘enjoyment’ in places he had never even considered before. He felt heavier even while he thought he might drift away at any moment. And then Rafael was holding his hands, singing softly in Spanish. Andrew let himself get lost in the music. It was lovely. He recalled a time when Rafael was still in choir, when his sweet voice rang out among all the other angels, his sweet face shining with the glory of God. Even then, Andrew hadn’t wanted to admit how lovely he was. Now, he couldn’t deny it. It was staring him right in the face.

With one hand, Andrew reached up and caressed the hairless cheek before him, the soft warm skin. Rafael leaned into the touch, letting his dark eyes slip shut. And then Andrew reached up with the other hand and held his face in both hands, caressing the skin with his thumbs. Rafael’s mouth parted and Andrew, giving in to the voice in his head, leaned forward and brushed his mouth against Rafael’s, learning the feel of his lips.

It was so innocent, as if they were children playing at romance. Rafael held onto Andrew’s arms, deepening the kiss by parting his mouth and seeking Andrew’s tongue with his own. He was so eager for the angel to hold him, so hungry for his touch.

The room changed again at Andrew’s will, became a softer place, less cluttered. There were large pillows everywhere, strewn around the floor. Even the sky blue walls seemed made of something soft, candlelight flickering against them on brass pedestals.

When they parted, Rafael took Andrew’s hand in his and led him to the center of the room where they kneeled together, facing one another. Rafael waited, giving Andrew time to adjust, time to get used to the idea. Andrew smiled and reached for the younger angel.

“You’re so beautiful.” He said in a quiet voice.

“No.” Rafael shook his head. “I’m nothing compared to you.”

He reached up and slid his fingers through Andrew’s thick lovely hair, craving the feel of the silkiness between his fingers. Then he tugged the angel closer and captured his mouth with his own. Andrew was a fast learner; his tongue had sought out Rafael’s and was teasing it playfully. Rafael moaned low in his throat and Andrew pulled back, startled.

“Did I hurt you?”

Rafael grinned and shook his head. “No, Andrew. The opposite.”

Andrew smiled, flushing red at his own ignorance. “Ah.”

Rafael came closer, wrapped one arm around Andrew and anchored himself to his hair with the other, bringing their faces together for another searing hot kiss. This time, Rafael slid his tongue into Andrew’s mouth and licked it slowly, feeling Andrew’s breath quicken beneath him.

The angel of death felt he was losing his grip on reality. The feel of Rafael’s tongue in his mouth and his narrow body against his own was nearly too much – and yet somehow, he wanted more. Experimentally, he let his hands explore the body before him, trail down the slender side and back, down to rest just on the curve of his behind. He had seen the humans do this sort of thing, but it was different in theory. Rafael’s pelvis met his and he pressed inward gently, causing Andrew to gasp out loud, most of it getting lost in Rafael’s kiss.

Rafael continued to kiss Andrew, but he put enough space between them so that he could unbutton Andrew’s shirt, exposing the creamy skin beneath. He was flawless and Rafael pulled back enough to praise him, before craning his neck to take a powder pink nipple between his teeth.

Andrew sucked in a sharp breath of air as he rested a hand on Rafael’s curly head. His vision was slightly blurry as the younger angel tickled and teased the little nubbin before moving to the next, worrying it in turn. Rafael’s hand had found the clasp on Andrew’s pants and was unfastening it with nimble fingers. When his hand reached beneath the waistband to grasp him, Andrew exhaled deeply. He had never imagined it could feel like this, and Rafael’s hand was so warm and so skilled.

Andrew sank down to the floor and reclined on his back as Rafael kissed his mouth, all the while caressing his shaft in his hand, tugging it gently and just letting his fingers drag along its length, playing with it.

Andrew’s hair was fanned out around his head, flowing like gold as Rafael lay half on top of him, pumping him lightly. Andrew’s voice was gone from him as he breathed in short bursts, his chest heaving. Rafael’s hand somehow felt warm and wet as he slid it up and down before reaching down to caress the soft sac in a gentle palm. Andrew’s face was flushed rose as he turned his head to the side and saw stars bursting behind his eyes.

Rafael planted another light kiss on Andrew’s parted mouth before moving downward to his flat stomach, his free hand following the soft trail of wheat colored hair down past his navel. He said a prayer against Andrew’s belly and the angel of death shut his eyes against the image of it. Somehow, it felt blasphemous – even while it felt like a resurrection. He had never felt so alive as he did now. So close to another soul. It was nearly overwhelming until Rafael took his length into his mouth. Then, it surpassed anything he had ever experienced in his life.

He cried out as the young angel sucked him gently, bobbing his head up and down to a maddeningly slow steady rhythm. He wasn’t sure what to expect, but he knew it wouldn’t last. Rafael was so skilled at pleasuring him; it was as if he had been waiting his whole life for this.

“Rafael…” he moaned low in his throat as he felt the insistent tugging in his lower belly.

Rafael bobbed his head faster now, with more vigor. His warm hand rested on Andrew’s chest as he let his tongue circle the head, and then Andrew was coming unglued. And then Andrew was coming.

He opened his mouth to cry out, but no sound came. Instead, he was gasping, his chest heaving, body exploding. Rafael stayed anchored to him, mouth latched on, drinking him down. It was too much. His eyes rolled back and then they were leaking water.

When Rafael climbed up his body, Andrew was too stunned to speak. The younger angel kissed his tear stained face, kissed his parted mouth, his chin, his brow. He was beautiful like this, tousled, undone. Rafael tugged his pants the rest of the way down his legs and then shed his own clothes as Andrew lay there, recovering.

When Rafael climbed back up to lay next to him, his warm body against Andrew’s sent a jolt up the elder angel’s body. It felt too good, too real. Andrew was afraid, at first, to meet Rafael’s gaze, but then he did. Rafael was glowing with pure love, filled with angelic glory and Andrew couldn’t help but touch him, just to have some of it. He was so beautiful like this, exposed and vulnerable.

Andrew caressed him, his face and hair. “You’re amazing.”

Rafael blushed, a small smile on his lips. “I’m nothing compared to you.”

Andrew shook his head, his hair in his face, all over his head. “No. You’re so much more.”

Rafael brought his mouth in close, letting his lips merely brush Andrew’s. When he pulled back, tears were streaming down his cheeks. “I love you so much. I’m bursting with it.”

Andrew leaned forward and kissed the tears away. Then he took Rafael into his arms and kissed his mouth passionately. It was like riding a bicycle, this kissing, such a simple expression of love.

When he pulled back to look into his boyish face, Rafael was looking at him with such intensity that it was almost frightening. “I want you, Andrew.”

Andrew nodded. “You have me.”

“No,” Rafael lowered his long lashes, embarrassed. “I mean, I want you…inside me.”

Andrew wasn’t sure what all that entailed, but he had a pretty good idea. The thought of it caused a tremor low in his belly. He could feel himself becoming erect again and wondered how that would work, exactly.

“Rafael…” Andrew was pondering reasons why they shouldn’t while Rafael was mentally listing all the reasons they should. “…I don’t know.”

“Don’t think about it.” Rafael sidled up against Andrew so that the angel of death could feel his erection against his thigh. “Just do it.”

Rafael brought his mouth in close as he captured Andrew’s hand with his own and guided it to his hardening length. Andrew held on, clinically at first. Then he started to get a feel for it in his hand, the stiff measure of flesh, the heft of it, the warmth of it. It was soft to the touch, but hard beneath. Steel covered in satin skin. Andrew excited in the feel of it and he did the natural thing; he squeezed it in his hand, marveling in the leaking head. His thumb drew over it and he found that he liked the little noise that Rafael made when he did.

As they came in for another kiss, Rafael climbed over Andrew’s body and straddled his lap, letting Andrew’s erection rest in the cleft of his ass while Andrew toyed with his rod, pulling it and releasing it, cupping the head of it. The young angel shut his eyes and pumped slowly into his hand, wanting to be impaled on Andrew but not wanting to overwhelm the other angel.

Andrew was enjoying his new toy, Rafael’s body was so lean and so flawless, a beautiful bronze color, dark black hair at the apex of his thighs where his cock jutted out hard and thick. Andrew slid his hand up and down it, watching the head dribble onto his belly. It was beautiful, what the human body was capable of, but Rafael was getting impatient.

He raised himself up and positioned Andrew at his entrance, knowing it would hurt like hell at first because Andrew was large – even bigger than he was. It was a shame he had let himself go so long without anyone pampering it, but that was in the past now. Rafael would make sure Andrew was never neglected again.

When he sank down onto Andrew, Rafael was careful. He lubricated himself as best he could, but a small part of him liked the pain of it. He wanted to really feel Andrew, wanted it to be spiritual between them, almost binding. It was so hard and thick and he slid himself down on it and saw a flash of light behind his eyes. It was jarring, the fullness of it.

Andrew, for his part was focusing on the angel’s baby face, searching for signs of obvious discomfort. He didn’t want him to be hurt, but he was having a hard time ignoring his own pleasure, which was rushing through his body like rolling hot waves.

“Oh, Andrew…” Rafael had sank completely down onto Andrew’s lap and was adjusting to the feel of it, full inside him. “…Oh, God, Andrew…”

Andrew caressed the hairless chest with both hands, teasing the dark brown nipples, squeezing them as Rafael had done. Then he moved down to hold the dark thick erection that bobbed in the air between them. He began to pump it gently, enjoying the sight of the leaking head.

Rafael raised himself up, experimentally, and sank back down, wincing as he did. Riding Andrew was going to take some serious practice. He felt so good inside him, but the pressure was overwhelming. The tip of him was nudging that sweet place inside him that was the source of so much pleasure – but it was too much. Rafael was near passing out from the sensation of that coupled with Andrew’s hands pumping his cock, so gently.

“Are you okay?” Andrew whispered, concerned.

Rafael nodded, beginning a rhythm, determined not to stop. He rolled his hips forward and back as he rocked up and down over Andrew’s erection, letting it stretch him. Andrew grimaced as he felt the pressure building in his belly again. It was unbelievable, how good it was and he tugged on Rafael’s cock like it was an anchor.

“Yes, Andrew…” Rafael was getting so close, riding the angel towards sweet release, his brow covered in sweat as his eyes filled with water. It was incredible, how well they fit together. The pain was gone, replaced with pure pleasure, and Andrew slid his hand up and down that beautiful erection, his own eyes rolling back in his head as Rafael brought him to the precipice again. And then they both tumbled over.

“Rafael…” Andrew cried out as they both shuddered and came, exploding warm wetness over and inside the both of them. Rafael dropped forward onto Andrew’s chest as his arms came up to encircle him. They were trembling, still, covered in sweat and other bodily fluids. Andrew thought he might never let go as he wondered at the sensation of hot skin against hot skin. He never even knew it was possible to be so warm.

“I never want to leave here.” Rafael said several minutes later, still folded in Andrew’s arms, still on top of him, still impaled on him. Andrew was still hard inside him even as they simply clung together.

“We’ll have to… eventually.” He whispered, his voice hoarse.

“Eventually…” Rafael began to move over him again, began to rock his hips. “…but not yet.”

“No.” Andrew murmured against his face, against his hot damp skin, pushing up into Rafael as he did. “Not yet.” And they began again, a daring dance that was new to them both but wouldn’t be soon forgotten. At least, Rafael prayed it wouldn’t… tbc?

END