The Aliens Are Coming

The Aliens Are Coming

Flora Winters

I do not own Smallville and I do not own Project A-Ko either. I’m also not making any money off writing this either.

Summary: It is the year 3000. A cross dressing, gender confused alien, and the richest boy in school butt heads for the friendship of a certain blond boy. Who needs terrorists when you have an alien and an evil genius running amuck at K-City High? Clark/Whitney/Lex. SLASH.

Warning: This story will contain sin, horrendous blasphemy, and all that other religious bullshit that makes people blow chunks out their asses. If you are a religious fanatic, turn back now. You will go and burn in your hell for reading this, I promise. All flames will be danced in by my demonic worshippers.

Prologue

Have you ever heard of a quaint little place called Kansas? Well, one hundred years ago, a huge meteor fell from the sky over a great city called Metropolis. The devastation was traumatic and the death toll was in the hundreds of thousands. All that was left of the city was a massive crater.

Scientists from all over the galaxy determined that the meteor had once been apart of a great and powerful planet known as Krypton. The city was rebuilt and became known as K-City because the huge meteor that had destroyed the previous one was known as Kryptonite. So…they called the new city K-City. It’s not a great name, but hey, the tourism is awesome during the summer.

Aliens now live on Earth and everyone is pretty much open to everything now. Gay males and females can walk down the street holding hands and people know longer call them fags or raging bull-dykes. Now everyone is simply like, “Hey, how’s it going, bitch?”

Religion is no longer a problem either. Science rules the Earth now. Everyone drinks their stem cell smoothies and live longer lives. I personally like the strawberry-banana stem cell smoothie. People now have flying cars that run on moonbeams and dreams. No, I’m just fucking with you. The flying modes of transportation now runs on what used to be a very popular drug, Crystal Meth.

Video games are the shit now, too. You can actually go inside the game itself and play…and if you was to die…better hope you saved at that last save point. It is un-telling how many kids have went and gotten themselves deleted by annoyed parents. Don’t worry though, there is a reboot clinic you can go to if you want to get your child back.

There are tons of shopping districts with all kinds of commodities. Flying cars, two headed dragon dogs from the planet Dracolinga, in the 7687-987 Nebula. One can purchase all manners of goods from the farthest reaches of the universe. If you want to own your own dimension…you can. If you have a dream…it can more than likely be found and fulfilled in K-City.

This is Flora. Get me a drink, bitch.

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“Clark!” Whitney Fordman yelled at the top of his athletic lungs as he kept pressing the doorbell to his best friend’s house. “Clark Kent!” He looked up at the second story window and sighed deeply. “Clark Kent! Get the hell up now! We’re going to be late, again!”

He stepped back and looked up when the window opened to reveal a very sleep-eyed young man looking down at him. “Is it that time already?”

“What the fuck do you think?” Whitney bellowed, balling his fists at his side in rage. “Get your tight ass in gear and let’s go!”

“You really shouldn’t be yelling like that, Whitney,” Clark yawned, stretching, almost falling out the window, but caught himself. “It’s bad for your health, boo.”

“I wouldn’t have to yell,” Whitney yelled. “If you would just get your ass up and be ready on time when I get here every damn morning!”

“I’m really sorry,” Clark laughed, scratching his ripped tummy. “Come on in. Mom and Dad are at the market. They said something about needing Zingako spice or something for the cookies they’re making for the school bake sale.”

“Oh, Jesus,” Whitney asked, blanching a little green. “The last time I tried your dad’s cookies, I had a hard on for a week.”

“Well,” Clark said, scratching the back of his head. “I don’t remember you complaining as I constantly sucked you off.”

“How could I forget?” Whitney shivered, feeling his body warm. “That was very nice. I felt like I would never walk again.”

Clark laughed. “Come on in. I’ll be down in a bit.”

“Hurry up!” Whitney snapped, opening the door. “I’ll be in the living room.”

“Okay!” Clark shouted, closing his window with a bang.

Whitney made his way through the nice house and into the living room where all manner of strange things were always kept. He heard a hissing snort and looked down to see Kip looking up at him with wet black eyes and a lolling red tongue.

”And how are we this morning, Kip?” The blond asked the adorable dragon dog. “Have you had breakfast?”

Kip screeched and clawed at Whitney’s leg as if saying he wanted to be held. Whitney smiled down at him and picked him up into his arms.

“You’re such a good boy,” Whitney cooed to him in a baby voice. “Yes you are. Oh, yes you are.”

Kip snuggled up against his chest and purred happily. For some odd reason, dragon dogs purred like cats when they were content. Kip would never do this for Cark.

“He never does that for me,” Clark whined, coming down the steps. “Why does he like you so much anyway?”

Whitney laughed. “Nice skirt, big boy.”

“Do you really think so?” Clark smiled happily, spinning around in a graceful circle for his size. “I thought so, too.”

“Yes,” Whitney said and sat Kip down. The dragon dog growled angrily and then licked his hand with a serpent tongue. “Where did you buy it at?”

“Zelda’s Magical Tri-Force,” Clark told him, picking up his backpack, turning with a pout on his handsome face. “And you didn’t even notice my new boots. What do you think about them?”

“My goodness gracious,” Whitney gasped, actually taking the time to look at them. “How big are those break-neck heels?”

“Big enough to stomp that bald bastard into the ground with,” Clark smiled evilly, following the blond to the front door. “Just let him trying something today.”

“You two really need to try and get along,” Whitney said, stepping out. “You two have been at each other’s throats since…well, forever.”

“It is all his fault,” Clark said, locking the door behind him. “He’s always starting something totally stupid.”

“I honestly don’t think the school is going to be able to afford the damage you two are constantly inflicting on the structures,” he said, hopping into his Xenospeeder 500 and inserted the crystal key point. “Last week he shot a high range missile at you.”

“Which I bitch-slapped,” Clark chuckled.

“You bitch-slapped it right into the Astro-Dome where I was having a game!” Whitney snapped as his alien lover got in beside him.

“Everyone was all right,” Clark whined, being careful with his skirt. “And he did get a detention for it.”

“He needs to be spanked,” Whitney said as this speeder hovered up off the pavement, and he turned around. “If I was to pull some crazy shit like that, my parents would hang me.”

“You know the Luthors,” Clark hissed as he said the name. “They get what they want when they want.”

“Well,” Whitney smiled, rubbing Clark’s smooth muscular leg. “They don’t get everything, Clark.”

Clark blushed chuckled and then screamed for Whitney to put on the brakes.

“What is it?” Whitney roared as he was slammed forward.

“The shower!” Clark yelled in horror, jumping out of the speeder, running through the front door without thinking. “I left the water running again!”

Whitney sat back in his seat as woodchips settled on the ground. “Gods, give me the strength and the patience not to murder him.”

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“There he is,” a young man said. His smoky grey eyes burned brightly as he spotted the handsome blond who was sexier than a topless Jesus hanging on the cross. “The most amazing creature in all the universes combined.”

“Who?” Zen asked as he petted a hairy caterpillar. “Do I know him?”

“Whitney, you idiot!” Lex Luthor roared, smacking Zen across the back of the head with a rolled up edition on the Torch. “Who the fuck else would I be talking about, dumb ass?”

“Clark Kent,” Zen moaned, rubbing the back of his head. “You’re always going on about him.”

“I do not go on about that pain in my alabaster smooth ass!” Lex seethed as he squeezed the newspaper with all his might. “I’m going to rip off his head, kick it across the schoolyard, and spit down his gushing throat.”

“See,” Zen pointed out with a grin. “There you go again, Alex.”

Lex froze on the spot, turning to glare icicles at his partner in mayhem. “What…what did you just say?”

“Nothing,” Zen gulped, and went back to petting his soon to be butter-sprite.

“Prepare yourself, Clark Kent,” Lex cackled madly as lightning flashed all around him from the machine he had created himself. “Today is the last day you will ever hold the hand of the friend that should be mine.”

Zen shook his head and whispered to his little green friend. “Here we go again, Catty.”

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“Clark!” Chloe Sullivan shrieked. “You’re late again, Goddamn it!”

“I’m so sorry,” he said, putting his backpack down, being careful with his skirt as he took his seat at his desk. “I was a little preoccupied this morning.”

“Of course you were,” Chloe snapped, slamming her fists down in front of him, causing him to tremble in fear. “What about that article I told you to print, hmm?”

“I,” Clark started and then slowly pushed his chair back away from the irate blonde. “I…forgot.”

“Oh, I see,” Chloe smiled and then she exploded like bunny on crack. “How the hell could you forget? It is one of the most important events in all of K-City High? How could you forget the damn festival? We have it every year! Everyone comes from all over to enjoy our sports and culture!”

She turned around and her face turned to the color of lava flowing down a mountain slope. He was no where to be seen. The only things moving in the room was her…and the chair that he had been sitting in…which was spinning around in circles.

“You can run, Kent!” She shrieked down the hallway that sent several students diving for cover under and behind anything they could find. “But, you can’t hide from this ace reporter!”

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“Whitney,” Clark whined as he held onto his arm tightly. “Chloe was so mean to me. She was shouting and everything.”

“Clark,” Whitney gasped as he tried to pull away. “Squeezing…breaking…arm.”

“Oh,” Clark said and quickly released him. “I’m sorry, Whitney.”

“Its okay,” he said and rubbed his aching arm. “What did you do?”

“I forgot to write the article to advertise the school festival,” Clark whispered.

“Oh,” Whitney said and then roared. “You forgot to do what?”

“See,” Clark cried, pointing at him in distress. “Now you’re being all mean to me, too.”

“Clark,” Whitney said slowly as he took a deep breath. “You know how important the Torch is to Chloe…and the festival for all the students…and when I say students…I’m talking about me.”

“I know,” Clark said as he traced circles on Whitney’s firm chest. “But, I was preoccupied with other…things.”

Whitney was about to say something only to freeze when someone shouted at the top of their lungs.

“KENT!”

“Oh, great,” Clark hissed and rolled his green eyes. “Here we go with this same old shit again.”

“What was that?” Lex roared. “Am I going to have to kick that fat ass of yours again?”

Clark’s eyes turned to poisonous green slits. “Fat?”

Whitney slowly backed away. “Clark…what did we talk about?”

Glowing green eyes turned to look at him and Whitney felt like running and hiding behind something. This kind of shit was never good. He was terrified that his eyebrows were going to get singed off again.

“What did you say?” Clark hissed and punched his fist through a wall. “Luthor?”

“You heard me,” Lex smiled evilly as he ripped his clothes off to reveal his skin tight metallic outfit underneath. It was all silver and shiny. “I’m going to kick your fat ass.”

“You and what army,” Clark snorted. “I’m going to hit you so hard, it’s going to send your bald head flying over the moon.”

Lex cackled. “Bring it, bitch!”

“I already brought it, bitch!” Clark snapped.

Whitney grabbed Clark’s arm,. “We have class to get to. Mr. Buttercake is going to be pissed if we’re late again because of this.”

“Don’t worry, Whitney, my love,” Lex said dramatically as he threw out his arms. “I will save you from this barbarian in a skirt.”

“At least I don’t look like metallic Barbie,” Clark laughed as he tapped Lex’s metallic breasts.

Lex slapped him across the face which sent Clark flying right by Whitney into a set of lockers.

“This Barbie suit as you so call it,” Lex laughed. “Gives me your speed and strength…as well as all the firepower I need.”

“Oh, hell,” Whitney hissed and jumped behind a trashcan when Lex aimed a hand that transformed into a gun right at Clark.

“Prepare to die, Kent!” Lex laughed maniacally.

Suddenly a ding went off and a floating cube came down the hall to stop before Lex. “Excuse me, Mr. Luthor,” the robotic voice said. “But your father is here.”

“Oh,” Lex said, looking completely flustered, and began picking up his scattered school uniform. “Tell Daddy I’ll be right there.”

“Daddy?” Clark laughed as he got up and rubbed the debris from his clothes. “Aw, so cute.”

“Shut up, Kent!” Lex snapped like a whip. “I’m going to beat you into a bloody pulp, and Whitney will be all mine.”

“I’m nobody’s!” Whitney yelled from behind the trashcan. “I’m not some prize!”

Lex was right beside him and put a long metallic finger over his mouth to shush him. “Don’t say such cruel things, my love. I will save you from this barbarian.”

Clark was about to punch him in the gut when a loud voice suddenly came from the cube. “Lex, come to me now!”

“Coming, Daddy!” Lex hollered and skipped after the cube down the hallway which had people peeking out of lockers, from behind water fountains, and classroom doors.

Clark looked at Whitney with glowing red eyes. “I’m going to kill him.”

“Wait until I’m safe in my home,” Whitney sighed as he tried to catch his breath. “So I don’t die in the exchange of fire.”

Clark rolled his eyes and took him by the arm to help him up. “Come on, let’s get to class.”

Lana Lang stepped out of the girl’s bathroom and licked her cherry lip gloss coated lips. “Did I miss something?”

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There was a massive spaceship flying through the darkness of space. It was on a mission of the utmost importance. The people of the planet Zerinth have been missing their young prince for fifteen years now. They had no idea where he was…until they just so happened to see an Astro Ballgame on the television. They immediately sent off a spaceship to retrieve their young prince.

“Somebody get me a goddamn drink for Christ’s sake!” The captain of the ship screamed at the top of his lungs. “All I ask is for a few measly little crutches to help me get through life…is that so much to ask for?”

Men in thongs and bikinis were running around in circles, like chickgoogits with their heads cut off, looking for an extra bottle of wine. The captain just went stark raving mad when he did not have a drink in his hand.

“Where the fuck is that drink?” He shrieked as fans of silk billowed all around him. “Why do you incompetent bitches make me suffer so?”

He threw an arm over his forehead and began to swoon on the spot. It just wasn’t fair. He plainly told them to stock the damn ship with all the wine they and their dying grandmother’s could carry. If he did not have a glass of wine in his hand at all times…he went coo-coo.

“Find any?” Bane cried as he looked under the sofa. “I can’t find any!”

“No!” Xan shrieked. “There isn’t any here, or here, or here!”

“Get me a fucking drink!” The captain screamed at the top of his lungs as he fired off random shots from his proton cannon. ‘Before I really lose my mind!”

“Moses lost in the desert!” Some random whore shouted as they ran in and ducked a proton blast. “I found you a bottle, Sir!”

“Let us praise God!” Bane hooted in joy. “We are saved!”

The captain reached out with clawed hands and took the bottle from the little bitch. He quickly ran over in a hiss of silk and poured himself a glass. The moment the soothing liquor touched his tongue he was in control once more.

He sat his glass down and fixed his bikini top while shaking his head to muss his wild red hair. That was better. That was so much better.

“Now,” he said, looking around. “Are we anywhere near this Urth?”

“That would be Earth, Sir,” the second in command sighed.

“That’s what I fucking said!” The captain bellowed and smacked him across the face with a gloved hand.

“Sorry, Sir,’ the second in command sighed once more as he rubbed his swollen cheek.

“How much longer?” The captain asked as he looked the bottle of wine over. “Because if this is the last bottle, every one of you little shits are in big trouble.”

Bane jumped to his feet and ran out of the room screaming at the top of his lungs. “Find more bottles of wine! Oh, Jesus! Please, find more wine!”

Xan was trembling as the captain took another drink to get himself under control. This was not good. How were they ever going to find the young prince if the captain went nuts? Where was all the damn booze? He had personally seen to it that ten thousand bottles of the planet’s finest wine was brought aboard.

“Where the fuck did it all go?” Xan shrieked, running out of the command room, swinging his light sword around in circles, causing guards and soldiers to run screaming in skimpy leather outfits.

“I’ll kill you all!” The captain laughed maniacally. “If this is the last bottle, you shall all die!”

“Sir,” the second in command said once more. “We are approximately two days away from the Earth where our young prince is being held hostage.”

“Two days,” the captain hissed. “Two fucking goddamn days! How the fuck do you expect my sanity to survive if this is the last fucking bottle of fucking wine?”

The second in command trembled. “Conserve what you got?”

The captain’s nostrils flared and the guards outside the double doors shivered when blood chilling screams filled the air.

“HELP ME!”

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Whitney sneezed and rubbed his nose. “Someone is so talking about me.”

“What makes you say that?” Clark asked as he looked over at him from his desk.

“I’m sneezing my head off,” Whitney moaned as he wiped his nose again.

“Be quite back there!” Mr. Buttercake shouted. “Or I’ll give you a detention!”

“Clark got yelled at,” Lex chanted over and over. “Better behave, you fat bitch.”

“That goes double for you, Lex,” Mr. Buttercake hissed. “Or you’ll get another detention, you little delinquent.”

Lex made a face at the professor and went back to his books. Was that idiot Clark laughing at him? Oh, no he wasn’t. He was so going to kick his snickering ass up and down this institution. “Stop laughing at me, you idiot!” Lex screamed and stood up on his desk in a blink. “Or I’ll blast your fat ass through that wall right now!”

“I’m not laughing at you,” Clark sighed and looked really bored. “You just make all that stuff up in your bald head.”

“Luthor!” Mr. Buttercake cried. “Sit down this instant!”

“No!” Lex bellowed. “He has to fucking pay!”

Whitney slowly backed away from his seat when Lex pulled out a grenade and chucked it right at Clark. Clark rolled his eyes, bitch-slapped it out the window…which shattered it…for the second time that week. A shriek went off outside and then an explosion. Lex was laughing maniacally as Mr. Buttercake shouted for him to immediately go to the Principal’s office.

“Never fear, Whitney!” Lex cried out as Mr. Buttercake had him by the arms, dragging him kicking and hissing from the room. “I shall save you, and prove my love to you!”

“Oh, god,” Whitney moaned and looked over at Clark who was playing with his pencil like nothing had happened. “I’m going to die.”

“Oh, don’t be silly,” Clark chided and handed him a piece of his mother’s apple pie. “You’ll be just fine…for now.”

For some odd reason…that so did not ease Whitney’s mind.

“Oh my god!” Some random bitch cried from outside the busted window. “Someone maimed Jenny!”

“Those bitches!” Another voice shrieked as a crash went off.

Clark slowly turned to look at Whitney, whose right eye was twitching uncontrollably. “Eat your pie, boo.”

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“Mr. Luthor,” Principal Kwan deadpanned once more. “What made you pull a grenade and launch it at Mr. Kent?”

“He was laughing at me,” Lex hissed sourly. “And he had to pay for it.”

“Now do you see what pandemonium I have to deal with five days out of the week, honey?” Mr. Buttercake hissed sweetly…like poisoned honey. “What are you going to do about this heinous behavior?”

“We shall fix the window,” Kwan sighed and began to fill out a form. “And give Mr. Luthor here another detention…have him clean the room after class today.”

Mr. Buttercake glared at the grey eyed young man who was silently fuming in his seat. “Very well, dear.”

Lex got to his feet. That little bitch Kent was so going to pay. Now, where did he put that fucking bomb?

The explosion and screams answered his question.

“Luthor!” Mr. Buttercake shrieked.

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Whitney was in tears. “He blew up the Dome…again.”

“Aw,” Clark said, patting his boyfriend’s back as he cried into his hands. “There, there, don’t be so sad.”

“Yeah,” Lana piped in. “You’ll just have to have the game outside.”

“In the hot ass sun!” Pete roared. “Damn that Luthor! Damn him to Hell!”

“The game is at night,” Chloe said while rolling her eyes. “And the Dome can easily be re-grown.”

“That’s right,” Clark said with a big smile. “See, Whitney, everything will be alright…and you’ll totally kick butt tonight.”

“Thanks, Clark,” Whitney smiled tightly and hugged him. “Thanks, guys.”

“So,” Chloe asked,. “Who is going to help me write the article on this disaster?”

Lana jumped up. “I have to go reapply my lip gloss.”

Chloe watched her run off and Pete got to his feet. “I have to go hit on some chick I have not met yet.”

She looked at Clark and Whitney. “Well?”

“Fine,” Clark said as Whitney rested his head on his broad shoulder. “I’ll get started.”

“Excellent,” Chloe beamed. “And, while you’re at it, you can start on advertising for the school Cultural Festival.”

“I can help with that, too,” Whitney smiled.

“Great,” Chloe said and jumped to her feet. “Let’s get started.”

TBC…

Please review and tell me what you think.

Flora