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We Hates You Lawyer-Guy

By: AuroraStewart
folder zMisplaced Stories [ADMIN use only] › Metalocalypse
Rating: Adult ++
Chapters: 1
Views: 836
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Disclaimer: I do not own the television series that this fanfiction is written for, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

We Hates You Lawyer-Guy

Charles knew, of course, about the guitarists’ habit of pouncing their bandmates at random intervals, whenever they were both bored enough, or horny enough, at the same time. But he hadn’t expected, hadn’t even suspected, that he’d be involved in their little game.
Yet here he was, with Skwisgaar leaning over the back of his chair, practically devouring his mouth and Toki, with his face firmly planted in his lap, practically devouring something else entirely.

How had this even happened? Well, it had started when Toki, bored with the weekly financial meeting, had left the same way he usually did, sliding slowly from his chair to the floor as if he were melting.
Charles had expected Toki’s usual mad dash for the door, but it never came, instead he found nimble fingers crawling up the side of his thigh. He cleared his throat and adjourned the meeting, telling Skwisgaar to stay behind because he had a few questions about recent spending habits.

Once the door closed behind the other three he cleared his throat again, removing his glasses and polishing them with his tie, “Skwisgaar, could you, ah, come here a moment? This will be easier if you can see what I'm talking about.”
The Swede, however, already knew what he was talking about, if the predatory smile was anything to go by anyway.

That was when Skwisgaar draped himself over the back of the chair, bracketing their manager’s arms with his own, “Oh,” he said airily, barely giving Toki a glance, “Ja, dats. We is have a realize on how we is show de dudes how much we hates on dem alls of a time, but we is never show ours lawyer-guy how much we is hates on him and appreciatings alls of a thing he is do.”

Ofdensen’s mind was already turning, he should probably put a stop to this and he knew it, but he found himself curious as to how it would play out, so what he said was: “Oh? Really?” As he arched a brow up at the blonde.
Skwisgaar smirked, one hand sliding up Charles’ arm, fingertips nudging at the older man’s jaw, voice a murmur as he said, “Ja, reallies.” His lips barely brushing Ofdensen’s as he spoke, finally setting a firm, wholly demanding kiss there, tongue darting out against the seam of Charles’ lips, teasing more than anything else, trying to distract the man from what Toki was doing.

That was how it had happened.

Charles knew what was going on, he was always at least a step ahead of all other players and he knew how the guitarists worked, good old fashioned divide and conquer.
He let Skwisgaar have the high ground for the time being, his own tongue sliding out to meet the blonde’s, though he still knew full well what Toki was doing. He made a low, rather surprised sound, when Toki got his slacks open, practically swallowing him whole. His jaw slackened for a moment, allowing Skwisgaar deeper access.

He did, however, push the Swede away after a moment, addressing both guitarists, “I think we should take this to my office.” Toki made a faint, wholly disgruntled noise, sucking harder for a moment, causing Charles to swallow thickly and clear his throat once again.

Skwisgaar smiled, “I am haves a think dat he’s is right Tokis.” Toki sat back finally, pouting, just as petulant as ever, “Fine.” Skwisgaar’s smile was still predatory, and what he said to Charles was: “You reallies shouldn’t be tries to stop him when he’s is get a start going.”

Charles unfolded from his seat, tucking himself away and sweeping towards the elevator, expecting the guitarists would follow, and they did. Toki slammed Skwisgaar against the far wall of the elevator, laying hungry claim to his mouth, growling softly in the back of his throat.
Skwisgaar, as expected, replied in kind, one hand fisting in Toki’s hair to haul his head back before leaning in to attack his throat.
Charles hadn’t expected the near-feline yowl from the brunette, nor had he expected the reaction it pulled from his own body. He was going to have to re-calculate this if he was going to stay in control of the situation.

The elevator door clanged open, and Skwisgaar pushed forward, tumbling Toki out onto the office floor, following him down, not about to let the younger man win.
Their manager followed far more calmly, crossing the lush carpet and leaning against his desk as he tugged his cuffs straight before folding his arms, just watching the two tussle.

Finally he cleared his throat, once he felt calm enough to continue, “As entertaining as this is, I believe you had other plans?” He cursed himself inwardly for the inflection, he hadn’t meant it as a question. It worked though, and it was only a moment before he had two pair of eyes regarding him with curiosity. One of them, Skwisgaar’s, was upside down. There was a quiet moment while the pair watched their manager, waiting for something more, perhaps. When he just watched them in return, the musicians came to a unanimous decision, prowling across the open expanse of carpet between them and their prey.

Just watching them made Charles have to clear his throat again, reminded suddenly, almost uncomfortably, of the yardwolves, or perhaps big cats. These two were dangerous, moreso together, and furthermore he knew it. Which was why he had to use their games against them, divide and conquer.

“Wait there.” He said calmly when they were almost within arm’s reach. Skwisgaar managed to lounge even kneeling and Toki still looked ready to spring, somehow wild-eyed, expectant, as if waiting for Charles to make a wrong move so he could pounce.
Charles was beginning to give Skwisgaar’s prior warning about the brunette more merit than he had before.

“Skwisgaar, come here, I need your help with something.” The blonde practically melted his way over, causing Toki to mewl, almost vibrating where he sat. For the time being, Charles let him think he was being ignored, holding both hands out to Skwisgaar, “Cufflinks. Keep your hands where they are.” Where they were was braced against Charles’ leg, Skwisgaar’s fingers were warm and heavy and even through the fabric Charles could feel their strength.

Skwisgaar arched a brow, eying Ofdensen first, and then the cufflinks in question. Finally he smiled, leaning in and with a deft curl of his tongue, slipping the first one free. His brow arched again, offering the warm metal with it’s chip of opal up to the other man with the tip of his tongue. Charles smiled, just the barest quirk at the corners of his mouth, plucking it up and pocketing it, offering his other arm, “That one too.”

Skwisgaar repeated the movement, brow still arched, waiting patiently for what would come next. This was new, and even despite himself he was curious to see what the other man had in mind. What Charles said, after slipping out of his jacket and loosening his tie was: “Pants next. You can use your hands.”

Toki actually whimpered then, chewing at his lower lip as Skwisgaar made quick work of both button and zip, before sliding both hands up over their manager’s hips, into his open pants, and down his thighs, peeling the garment down as he did so. He was mildly surprised at how the elder man could still be so calm and collected, even while naked from the waist down and sporting a wholly impressive arousal, one that Skwisgaar noted idly wasn’t even fully hard yet.

“Stay there.” Charles said before turning away from the guitarists and sweeping everything from the top of his desk with one arm.
There was another almost-smile directed at Toki, “Patience Toki.” And in almost the same breath he said to Skwisgaar: “Up, clothes off.” It only took the blonde a few moments to comply, still curious, brow arching once more as soon as he was bare.

He was surprised to find himself suddenly flat on his back on the desk, wrists tied together with his manager’s necktie. He hadn’t realized the man could move quite that fast.
Judging by his expression, Toki was surprised by it as well.
Charles smiled then, the first real smile since they’d started this little game, knotting the other end of the tie through a drawer handle, keeping Skwisgaar effectively pinned, the blonde’s arousal laying flat along his stomach, heavy and throbbing.

Charles turned to Toki then, studying him for a moment, making sure he hadn’t been pushed too far, there was another small smile when he noticed just how dilated Toki’s eyes were, it was probably a wonder he wasn’t drooling, Charles also noted that his jaw was quavering slightly, like a housecat that’s seen a bird it can’t get to. He let them both stew for a moment longer, counting three of Skwisgaar’s almost labored breaths.

He nodded to Toki then, “He’s all yours.” He held up a hand as Toki surged to his feet, “Provided you do what I tell you.” It took the span of another three, almost four, breaths before Toki nodded. He could apparently still process English, he just had no words himself.

Charles nodded, “Good. You might want to get undressed.” The manager was leaning back against the desk again, resting on one hand while the other roamed over Skwisgaar’s skin, never touching his need, but teasing everywhere else. Tidily trimmed nails scratched against his hip, slid down his thigh, fingertips trailed along the contours of his stomach and over his side.
Skwisgaar turned to watch as Toki began to move, this was something he never got tired of watching, never got bored with.
It didn’t take the brunette long to strip, it rarely did when he was this far gone.

Charles had produced a small bottle of lube from somewhere, and realizing that Toki was too far gone to bother, he went about preparing the blonde.
The sound Skwisgaar made was content, almost a purr, the sound Toki made was decidedly a growl, possessive and warning.
Charles smirked as he drew away slowly, nodding to Toki, “Now he’s all yours.”

That was all the encouragement Toki needed, surging forward and burying himself in the blonde with another growl. Skwisgaar arched, one leg hooking up over Toki’s hip, fingers curling against the tie he was bound with, his breath catching in his chest, eyes fluttering closed for a moment.
He tended to forget between one time and the next, just how much he needed this.

Ofdensen watched, rather admiring the play of muscle down Toki’s back, thoroughly enjoying the throaty yowl each thrust wrung from the blonde.
Of course, it wasn’t long before he decided it was time to join in. One hand curled against Toki’s hip, voice low against the younger man’s ear, “Hold still.”
Toki made another warning sound, but he did fall still aside from the faint vibrating tension down his spine.

Skwisgaar on the other hand, yowled once again, arching against the other guitarist.
“Keep him quiet.” Charles murmured against Toki’s ear, his fingers still splayed against the Norwegian’s hip, the other hand sliding down his spine, curious to find out if he really did have to sneak up on the younger man.

Toki’s version of keeping Skwisgaar quiet apparently consisted of leaning in and biting down against the ridge of his collarbone, not quite hard enough to draw blood, but damned close.
Surprisingly enough, this worked. Skwisgaar gasped sharply and then forgot to exhale, eyes fluttering closed, head rolling back against the top of the desk with a dull thump.

Charles’ brow arched slightly at that, but he nodded, the hand at Toki’s hip sliding across to Skwisgaar’s thigh, the other hand now resting against the small of Toki’s back, “Very good. Now, I'm going to fuck you while you’re fucking him. Nothing new I'm sure.” He wasn’t generally so blunt, he didn’t generally have to be. With the boys, however, simple and straightforward was always best, especially at times like this.

Toki nodded, just slightly, more a jerk of his head than anything, and probably more to worry at Skwisgaar’s neck than it was to acquiesce. Charles smiled all the same, the expression just as predatory on his face as it was on the blonde’s, maybe moreso, “Good. Stay still.” He lapped at the corner of Toki’s jaw then, just once, before straightening again.

Skwisgaar had begun to writhe and Charles knew just how difficult it would be for Toki to hold still much longer, so he didn’t dawdle with preparing the brunette, just nudged his legs apart and went about it quickly, smirking faintly at the low, wholly needy sound that slipped free from Toki’s throat.
He didn’t see any real reason to warn him what was coming, he already knew after all.

Toki gasped when Charles slid home with one even, steady, thrust, having to struggle to stay still with Skwisgaar twisting beneath him and their manager filling him, and he couldn’t stop the almost helpless little mewl that escaped.
Charles smiled again, all but draping himself along Toki’s spine, mouthing at the guitarist’s ear when he was finally fully-seated, keeping Toki securely pinned, his own hands spread flat against the top of the desk.

His hips gave a firm roll, pushing the younger guitarist against and into the elder, feeling Skwisgaar’s toes curl against his knee, the blonde’s leg looped around them both at that point.
Charles’ voice was still low against Toki’s ear, “Let him go.” The brunette shuddered, but complied, releasing his hold of Skwisgaar’s throat, and apparently releasing the other’s held breath as well, the sigh stirring the curtain of Toki’s hair swaying around Skwisgaar’s face and outstretched arms.

Charles drew away slightly, only to roll forward again a moment later, rocking Toki against Skwisgaar and getting an appreciative murmur from the blonde.
“Very good.” Charles’ voice was still steady and warm against Toki’s ear as he repeated the movement, withdrawing slightly only to buck forward more sharply.

Toki had one hand braced against the desk, arm flush against Skwisgaar’s side, the other hand was clutching at the blonde’s thigh in a vain attempt to steady himself. Charles grinned when he realized this, tongue laving over the crest of Toki’s ear before ordering quietly, “Touch him.” He watched then, as best he could, filing the movements of Toki’s hand away for later, just in case.

Skwisgaar moaned, hips arching suddenly, strongly enough to rock Toki back, pressing him against Charles, getting a groan from the guitarist and a surprised little sound from their manager, who grinned again, shoving forward, causing Toki to groan again.
Skwisgaar caught on to the game after a moment, it was like playing keep-away with Deddy, only not as dangerous. The blonde arched again, using the leg looped around the other two to pull himself closer.

Charles very nearly purred against Toki’s ear, lapping at it again, nuzzling the hollow behind it as he fell easily into Skwisgaar’s pseudo-rhythm. He dragged the tip of his tongue over the fluttering pulse point in the brunette’s neck before biting down and holding, like Toki had been doing to Skwisgaar earlier.

A shudder curled down Toki’s spine, causing him to spasm between the other two, that simple contact enough to drive him to the brink, fingers curling that much tighter against the blonde’s arousal for a moment, wringing another one of those low-throated sounds from somewhere in his chest.

Charles purred again in response, grinding forward, not that far off himself, and judging by the tumble of half-formed words spilling from Skwisgaar’s swollen lips he was right there with them.
Charles had a choice then, he could slow down and draw this out, or he could take them all down now and hope for another chance later.

He smiled, gnawing at Toki’s throat a little harder before letting go, nibbling at his ear a moment later, “Finish it.”
Toki didn’t need to be told twice, hips arching forward again, fingers snug against the root of Skwisgaar’s arousal, very nearly wringing him out.

The blonde’s breath caught, arching once more as his orgasm very nearly ripped through him, leaving him shaking with aftershocks, eyes mostly closed, throat clicking as he swallowed.
The force of it was enough to pull Toki along as well, yelping as Charles latched onto his throat again, almost growling as he reached his peak as well, sagging against the younger man while they all caught their breath.

Charles finally withdrew, producing a damp cloth from somewhere, likely wherever he’d gotten the lube from previously, (later, Toki would insist that the man’s desk had magical properties.) and cleaned both guitarists up quickly.
Toki was purring softly, just watching as Charles finally unbound Skwisgaar’s wrists and was promptly startled by the blonde dragging him down into a still-hungry kiss, finally letting him up with a murmured, “Hates you, Lawyer-Guy.”
“Ja,” Toki agreed, slinging Skwisgaar his pants, “Hates you a whole lot.”