Anger Management With the Master

Ah my minions. I see that you’ve found your way onto this channel and decided to follow along with my, well, let’s just call them my lessons. I, your Lord and Master, am going to teach you a thing or two about Anger Management, or so I’ve been told. The doctors think it best, no, not that Doctor, though he rather enjoys the idea himself, or he will until he reads his letter that is. How that Timelord thinks I don’t have some issues to air publicly with him, I am not sure. I mean, he decided to keep me. Keep me, the Master. I am not a man to be kept, at least not in the way he plans on keeping me for however long it is until he gets bored and feels the need to once again save the world, the universe, the galaxy and what have you. And before I go any further here let me just point out, that whole thing about him being sexless, something about being held up to family morals and all that, well, that is so far as I can see it, sadly, true. It is pathetic. Look at me, I’m a hottie. Really, I am, this particular regeneration of mine is quite attractive if I do say so myself. I get all the ladies, and really if I’m being honest, all the lads that I want, and then some, well not all of them. Not the Doctor. No, that one is something of a virgin, at least this version of him is. I may have been drunk on Galiffreyan Moonglow back in the days of the Academy but I am pretty sure we got it on, and on, and on again. I can’t be sure, there were so many pretty little things throwing themselves at me back then, come to think of it, not much has changed in that aspect, but I digress. As I was saying, I was getting more than my fair share of attention, as I should, back then, but I am sure that Theta spent his fair share of time in my bed...under my bed...on my roommate’s bed...in my bathroom...You get the picture, and honestly, what a pretty picture.

Back to the thing at hand, yeah? Anger management. I need it, apparently. I tried to tell them that I am over nine hundred years old and that you can’t teach an old Timelord new tricks but they insisted and here I am. Actually, it is quite alright. I found this loophole, you see, that allows me to post my letters for public view, so that I get to air my grievances in front of all of you. Ah, the power of the internet is a marvellous thing. Good thing I own it.

The idea behind this exercise is to pick a few people I may have some anger issues with, maybe jot down a few things and get it out there, out of my head and into some other tangible form. They say it will clear my mind, make me feel more at ease. I say it will make room for more drums, which is fine with me. The louder the better I say, honestly, the louder they get the more insane I feel and the more insane I feel the more action I see, all from fans, usually found here on these blog type things, or these chat rooms and what have you. Yes, of course your Master has fans, loads of them in fact. And what a kinky lot you are, I tell you.

You know, I don’t feel too angry today, I feel horny as a toad and I’d really like to get me some is what I feel. Tell you what, first person that answers this gets to meet me on the Tardis, we can have mad crazy sex up against the console made of, what is that, coral? Come on you know you want to, I know I want to. What, surprised I am there? Really, I mean where else is that bloke going to keep me, isn’t like he has a palace or anything. Besides, it really is bigger on the inside, come on and have a look...Let’s see if we can’t work up some anger, eh?