2.473 billion to one

028 - children
Title:2.473 billion to one
Author’s note: This is completely AU. I have not yet watched all seasons of SGA, so I might have missed something important. Also, I happen to LIKE Carson, so I’m keeping him. You have a problem with that, don’t read.
Beta: girly_curl_3,ca_pierson

Prologue: When the Ori destroyed Earth, a secret evacuation had been going on for several months. A few hundred thousand people had been sent through the Stargate into the Pegasus galaxy, settling into new lives on different planets all around. They were scientists, artists, people from all cultures, countries and races. It wasn’t enough, never could be, but it was all they could do. The people of Atlantis had been allowed to bring their families to live with them and even SG-1 had lived in the ancient city for a while. Soon, Atlantis had become the connecting point between all the new Earth settlements and the Atlantis expedition did a fine job in helping make the refugees feel at home in the Pegasus galaxy. Life was as good as it could be, considering the circumstances, once the Wraith finally weren’t a threat any more.

oooooOooooo

‘Hindsight is 20/20’ they say. For Rodney, smartest man in two galaxies, that was a small comfort. Because, even with the odds of it happening being 2.473 billion to one, he should have recognized it for what it was. He should have seen it, should have trusted his body and his instincts when they told him something was off. As it was, when the first signs showed, Rodney blamed it on too much work and not enough to eat.

It had been a gruesome day in the lab again. Morons pretending to be scientists had damaged an important project and Rodney had been the only one able to fix it. After long hours of once again working overtime to avoid a catastrophe, Rodney reached for his mug and drank the rest of his lukewarm coffee. He cringed, the taste of the dark liquid stale and oddly metallic in his mouth. He decided he definitely needed new coffee and sleep, lots of sleep. John would probably be really pissed at him for working so long again, but that couldn’t be helped now. He had to have coffee, a shower and a good night's rest before he could attempt to work on the equations he'd planned on doing today when disaster had struck.

When he got up from his chair where he'd been crouched over his laptop, Rodney suddenly felt slightly dizzy for a moment. Alarmed, he realized that his hands were ice-cold and his head was beginning to spin with the familiar light-headed feeling of hypoglycaemia.

Cursing himself that he’d let it come so far but grateful John wasn’t around to witness it, Rodney opened a desk drawer and took out one of the cereal-fruit bars they now had instead of PowerBars. It would do for the moment, giving him enough energy to go to the mess hall and get something real to eat and of course, more coffee.

The mess hall was empty save for a few marines sitting at one of the tables, speaking quietly among themselves. Rodney ignored them and went to grab a few sandwiches and a cup of coffee. He knew he should probably take the food with him, not delay his return to their rooms any longer, angering John even more, but that would mean John might recognize the signs of hypoglycaemia. Which would mean trouble. No, eating in their quarters was out of the question.

Sighing, Rodney sat down at the nearest table and started to eat his sandwich. When he took a sip from his cup though, he almost gagged. This coffee tasted even worse than the one he had drunk at the lab. The same, odd metallic tang to it, only this coffee also somehow tasted … burnt. Cursing under his breath, Rodney decided that the whole batch must have been faulty – maybe there had been problems at the plant again. It had been hard enough to adjust the coffee plants to the environment of the planet they had chosen for this purpose in the first place. Every once in a while there were still problems, even after all this time. He’d just have to wait ‘til the morning or, well, whenever there was new coffee.

Opting for water, Rodney finished his sandwich quickly before hurrying off to his and John’s quarters. He knew if he pissed off his husband too badly, John would find means to make him regret it. Even now there was the definite possibility that John would read him the riot act about working late, making him wait or not spending enough quality time together. Not that he wouldn’t deserve the lecture.

Rodney knew he still sometimes tended to forget the time over his work, he still sometimes acted as if no-one was waiting for him ‘at home’, hurting John in the process. Missed dinners, forgotten ‘appointments’ to spend time together; Rodney knew John needed a lot of patience with him. Sometimes it still amazed Rodney that John had chosen to be with him, had even married him even though their relationship hadn’t always been easy. If someone had told him a few years ago that he’d be married to John Sheppard one day, a man who could have whoever he wanted, Rodney would have thought them insane.

Never would he have imagined the love that shone out of John’s eyes or the tenderness John treated him with. Maybe it had been because John had been so restricted by ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’, but Rodney had been taken by surprise at how openly affectionate John was once it was revoked. He loved Rodney and had no problems whatsoever showing just how much he meant to him.

Which didn’t mean John wouldn’t be angry with him being late.

Rodney had reached their quarters and thought the doors open. He was sore and tired and he really needed a shower – badly. Delaying the inevitable wouldn’t do him any good, so he stepped through the door, hoping John wouldn’t be too mad at him. It would just be the ‘perfect’ ending to an already crappy day.

oooooOooooo

“Hey, whatcha doin’?” John Sheppard sat down on the workplace beside Rodney’s laptop with an easy sprawl, grinning playfully. Rodney rolled his eyes at him, knowing if his husband was in this mood, he was up to something.

“Hm, let’s see. I’m in my lab, working on the laptop. There are equations on the screen and I am typing. What does it look like? I’m working. In fact, I’m quite busy, so shoo, go away” he said sarcastically, waving at John dismissively.

“Nope, not gonna happen,” John grinned. He seemed to be in an awfully good mood again. And while that fact had been very welcome the previous day since it had saved Rodney from getting lectured, now it was just distracting. And he had no time for distraction. Sighing, Rodney turned his attention to John completely and said, “John, please, I’m really busy. If these morons hadn’t almost blown up the lab yesterday then I’d already be done and would have the time to chat with you. But since I’m burdened with incompetent fools, no time to chat. Now please, go away!”

“No, I’m gonna…”

Rodney didn’t get to know what John was going to say since he tapped his earpiece and snapped ‘Sheppard’. After that, Rodney tuned John’s voice out, knowing John would talk to him if he needed him.

Sure enough, as soon as the conversation was over, a much more serious John turned his attention back to Rodney. “We’ve got two hive ships on the long rage sensors. Still plenty of time though. I’ve told them to get the device ready. Teyla's got a class at the gym right now, but they'll call her in time to go activate it. Can you have the nukes in the jumper bay in … say an hour? I guess I’ll send Lorne and his team this time; the last time he complained that he didn’t get to have any fun,” John grinned and Rodney rolled his eyes again.

“You guys really are only happy when you can blow things up, right? Yes, yes, the nukes will be in the hangar in an hour, I’ll have someone send them down. One would think that the Wraith had finally learned that they can’t win, yet they keep coming and coming and coming. Really, what’s the point?” Rodney didn’t get it. They’d been able to deal with the Wraith for well over three years now and still they were trying to attack. The only reasonable explanation would be that they were indeed that desperate.

Ever since the Lanteans had managed to make their own ZPMs – even if it required a lot of time, power and resources – and therefore cloak all of the scattered Earth-settlements, the Wraith were running out of food sources. Not that Rodney was in the least sorry for that.

“Rodney?” John’s voice brought Rodney back to reality. He hadn’t even noticed drifting off.

“Hm?” Rodney looked at John, clearly surprised he was still there and not off to talk to Lorne or organize the attack on the hive ships.

“I asked you if you wanted to have dinner later. And I want you to be home on time today, alright? I hate having to wait for you half the night when we could be doing so many other fun things. Whatever it is you’re working on, it’ll still be there tomorrow. So if it isn’t an absolute life or death situation, I expect you in our quarters no later than 9 pm, okay? Don’t make me come and get you and I’ll make it worth your while.” John growled and Rodney knew he was serious. They hadn’t been able to spend much quality time together lately. In fact, it had been ages since they’d had the time for a long, slow lovemaking.

“Yes, yes, dinner is fine. Meet you in the mess hall at six, alright? And I promise, no overtime today unless something is blowing up or the city is in danger of being destroyed and I have to save the day yet again. Satisfied?” Rodney asked, a little impatience creeping back in his voice. If he wanted to keep that promise, he’d really have to hurry.

“Great! I’ll hold you to that,” John announced cheerfully.

“Fine, fine, you do that. Now, go away or I’ll never get done here. Don’t you have to go fight some hive ships? Busy here, remember? See you at dinner.” With that Rodney focussed on his laptop again, pointedly ignoring John.

He must have finally left, because when Rodney looked up next, he was gone and Rodney was alone in his private lab again.

oooooOooooo

Getting rid of the Wraith was routine by now.

Once Teyla had finished her lesson, she went to the infirmary. Even though there was no risk at all in her using the device, Carson had early on insisted she do this in the infirmary or not at all. Teyla never had objected.

When Carson hooked her up to the device that would allow her to safely connect to the Wraith collective, she was calm and relaxed. She knew all she had to do was link herself with them and send them the command to ‘sleep’. The Marines would do the rest. They would fly the bomb to the ship with the modified puddle jumper and detonate it on completely helpless, oblivious Wraith.

When they'd done this the first time, Teyla hadn’t understood why Rodney found it so amusing. Later John had explained that the idea to command the Wraith to sleep had been inspired by an Earth TV series called Star Trek. And Rodney had found it hilariously ironic that in the end, a series like Star Trek – as scientifically inadequate as it was – had saved their lives.

It had been quite some time until he complained about John’s TV programs of choice again.

oooooOooooo


“That’s the last of them,” John announced as he looked over the few civilians that had stepped through the Stargate just a moment before. The horizon collapsed and Rodney felt a pang of pain as he watched the people take in their surroundings in wide eyed awe. “How many of them are there?” he asked silently. John’s voice was grave when he answered Rodney, “Not enough…”

With a gasp, Rodney sat up in bed, heart racing and shirt clinging to his body in cold sweat. Beside him, John stirred. “You alright there?” he mumbled, rubbing a comforting hand up and down Rodney’s spine.

“Yeah, fine, fine. Go back to sleep,” Rodney replied, wiping a sweaty hand across his forehead. He was having vivid nightmares lately, no, not exactly nightmares - they were memories of the last few years. Earth being destroyed by the Ori, the helpless attempt of evacuating as many people as possible through the Stargate. The last survivors from Earth being scattered over the planets of both the Milky Way and Pegasus Galaxy. They’d taken the families of the Atlantis expedition to live in Atlantis and had found other planets for the other survivors to live on. Some choosing to live with Atlantis’ allies, some choosing to try and make their lives on uninhibited planets all over both galaxies. But this had happened literally years ago and Rodney had long since learned to deal with it. Why was it coming back to haunt him now? Had it been because of the hive ships they had destroyed a week ago? But why would it? They weren’t really a threat any more.

Sighing, Rodney climbed out of bed, careful to not wake John again. They’d had a hard enough day as it was, no need to rob him of the bit of night’s rest he got as well. Maybe a hot shower and something to eat would help soothe his frazzled nerves.

He padded to the kitchenette, finding and biting into the blue skin of a not-quite-pear. It was sweet and juicy and one of Rodney’s favourite foods. While he ate, Rodney thought about the odd little things that had been happening to him lately. It wasn’t just the strange dreams, the more frequent drops in his blood-sugar or the fact that coffee didn’t seem to agree with him anymore. There was fatigue as well. Gone were the times when he used to be able to pull all-nighters for weeks on end without feeling like collapsing; lately he barely managed to work his usual shift without feeling exhausted.

And then there were the bleeding gums and suddenly occurring nosebleeds. Rodney felt his insides knot. He had to face the facts, there was something wrong with him and he couldn’t continue to ignore it. It wouldn’t do him any good. Despite his reputation of being a hypochondriac, usually Rodney was able to judge his medical condition pretty accurately. It was just his usual way of interacting with Carson and Rodney knew his friend knew how to take his whining.

But this time was different. This time he hadn’t been injured offworld, hadn’t been exposed to alien pollen, poisonous weapons or any other crap this galaxy could come up with. In fact, he had been perfectly fine the last time Carson had checked him after a mission. Which meant that whatever it was that was wrong with him was most probably not caused by an alien influence at all. Which didn’t mean anything, really. Some good old Leukaemia could kill you just as well as any alien bug. And Rodney was scared. But contrary to the times when he had not yet been involved with – much less married to – John, Rodney now was more concerned about his husband’s reaction should he really be seriously sick.

This was no mission where John could protect him from getting harmed, this was something neither of them had seen coming and therefore hadn’t been able to prevent. Rodney knew that if this illness turned out to be something serious, something even Carson had trouble dealing with, then it had the potential to destroy John. Rodney had seen him guilt-ridden and helpless to prevent disaster more times than he cared to count, and every single time had been hard on John. If this illness turned out to be lethal, Rodney knew it would break him.

Bastet seemed to sense Rodney’s dark thoughts because she rose from her favourite sleeping spot and came over to him, rubbing her head at his calves, purring slightly. Rodney bent down and picked the cat up, running his fingers through her soft fur. He was glad that they had managed to get some pets from Earth to Atlantis, and Bastet had been a source of comfort when his old cat had died. Rodney knew of several families all over the galaxy that bred different races of cats, dogs and some more unusual pets. Hell, some refugees had even decided to open a huge farm on one of the planets, breeding cows, pigs, chicken, sheep and dozens of other Earth farm animals. At some point in the future, there was a chance that real bacon would be available again.

Not that Rodney would be able to eat it right now anyway. It belonged to the category of foods whose smell made him sick lately. Another symptom he couldn’t ignore any longer.

With a resigned sigh, Rodney decided to pay Carson a visit the next morning.

oooooOooooo

“Hello, Carson,” Rodney greeted his friend. He knew he sounded unusually hesitant but couldn’t quite help himself. He was scared of what the scans would show. Naturally, Carson picked up on it.

“Hello, Rodney. What brings you here? Are you alright?” the doctor asked, concern audible in his voice.

“I’m not sure. That’s why I’m here.” Rodney hesitated. This was so damn hard. He took a deep breath and looked Carson straight in the eyes, willing his friend to understand that he was truly worried this time. “I’ve been having some strange symptoms. Carson…I think there is something seriously wrong,” he said tonelessly, trying to keep the tremors that threatened to overwhelm him out of his voice.

Carson’s eyes grew wide. Rodney knew that the lack of sarcasm and whinging he usually displayed said how serious he was.

“Oh my, Rodney, what's happened? What did you do? Sit down, lad, and tell me how you feel. Then I’ll run some tests,” Carson ushered him over to one of the infirmary beds and drew the curtain around them.

Forty five minutes, several blood samples and a dozen screenings later, Carson finally found the answer. And it wasn’t what either of them had expected.

oooooOooooo

John rubbed his eyes tiredly with the heels of his hands before shutting down the file he'd been reading. Or rather, trying to read since he hadn’t been able to concentrate on a single word. He couldn’t stop himself from thinking about Rodney. Something was seriously wrong with him lately but John couldn’t quite figure out what, exactly. It wasn’t the usual overworked, tired and annoyed behaviour Rodney displayed quite frequently, but something else. Something that was unsettling John in ways he wasn’t used to.

Usually, if something was wrong, you could count on Rodney complaining about it loudly. That also indicated that it wasn’t anything serious – yet. But this time there was something Rodney wasn’t telling him and John didn’t like it in the least. Rodney couldn’t lie if his life depended on it, so when had he become so good at hiding things? And shouldn’t he be able to talk about everything with John? Wasn’t that what marriage was about? Sharing not only the successes and good moments, but the bad times, the hard moments as well?

John looked down at his left hand, rubbing his wedding band absentmindedly. It looked almost like platinum but had a slight blue-ish shimmer to it. John had traded some of his last chocolate, one of his knives, some PowerBars and several other things to have those rings made for them. Finding out Rodney’s ring size without being obvious had been a pain in the ass, but it had been worth it. The look of joy and utter disbelief on Rodney’s face when he had proposed had been priceless.

Marrying Rodney had been the best decision he’d ever made. He didn’t regret a single second he had spent with Rodney as part of his life. Sure, he could be loud, irritable, blunt, arrogant and annoying, but somehow that was what John liked best about him. He was painfully honest and refreshingly sarcastic and John enjoyed watching him talk a mile a second, waving his hands about and working one miracle after another.

Until recently. The previous week, Rodney had declined to go check the shield generator on M65-927 – the planet where the coffee plant was stationed – himself, instead sending Zelenka to do it. That just wasn’t like him. Rodney had never before let anyone go there without going too, since he got the best coffee in two galaxies there – for free. What was even stranger was the fact that two days later, Rodney had outright refused to go to M31-485 as well. And that was the planet where Jeannie and her kids lived. John knew once Jeannie got word of that, she would have Rodney’s head.

So what was Rodney’s problem? It wasn’t like him to voluntarily agree to not go to those planets, especially since the team was on downtime right now and hadn’t gone through the gate in quite some time. Teyla had been busy with her lessons, Ronon was offworld doing security training in one of the settlements and John had been busy with their own security issues in Atlantis. Rodney should have been itching to go through the gate, because despite what he told everyone, by now he loved and craved it as much as John himself.

No, something was really, seriously wrong with Rodney, John was sure of that. Now he only had to find a way to make Rodney tell him what it was.

oooooOooooo

He’s going to freak Rodney thought when he finished the document he had been writing and decided to actually print it. He thought the occasion warranted actual paper, not just an email. Also, that way, John would only find the letter when Rodney wanted him to find it. Which had to be soon, even though Rodney wasn’t sure how he would find the courage to give it to him.

But Ronon was due to be back to Atlantis in two days time and the next mission of SGA-1 was scheduled for the following day. A mission his team would have to go on without him. Like every other mission that was coming up in the near future.

Rodney swallowed hard. He’d be left behind on Atlantis while his team, his family was going off world and getting themselves in life threatening situations. And Rodney wouldn’t be there to help them get out.

“No more offworld missions” Carson had said and Rodney briefly closed his eyes and remembered the moment, two weeks ago, that had changed his life so drastically.

“Pregnant? What do you mean ‘pregnant’?” Rodney’s voice was high pitched and panicked and Carson shot him a sympathetic look. “How the hell can I be pregnant? I can’t be pregnant, that is just…” He broke off, feeling his heart-rate speed up and his head spin. He couldn’t be pregnant, couldn’t have such incredibly bad luck that…

Carson’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “You knew there was a possibility this could happen, Rodney,” Carson said gently and Rodney felt anger boil up inside of him at that tone. Great, so he wasn’t dying, but right now this news didn’t feel any better, thank you very much. Yes, of course he had known it was possible that he could get pregnant ever since the strange device on M21-976 had altered his physique so drastically.

Naturally, he and Carson had – based on reliable data – calculated the likeliness of such a thing happening. After all, the prospect of having to use condoms again had not been appealing to either John or Rodney.

So they had been pretty relieved when the chances had been…small. Very small indeed. Practically nonexistent. Unfortunately – this was the Pegasus galaxy and things didn’t always go according to plan here. Rodney had learnt that the hard way once again.

“It was a 2.473billion to one chance that I was actually going to get impregnated, Carson,” he fumed. “Don’t tell me that you thought it was ever gonna happen! This is ridiculous…completely insane! I can’t believe this is really happening. Honestly, what were the chances? No, don’t say it, I know…one in 2.473 billion. Damn it, not even I was paranoid enough to think this kind of thing would happen – ever!”

Rodney took a deep breath and tried to calm himself without much success. He watched as Carson opened a cabinet and took out some bottles with pills, letting Rodney rant. Suddenly Rodney couldn’t sit still any more. He hopped from the infirmary bed and began to pace.

“I should have known it. I really should have, you know? Sheppard. It’s all John’s fault. Only he would be able to beat the odds on this. He and his ATA sperm. Damn it.” Then something else occurred to him. Rodney felt all the blood drain form his face. He must have turned white as a sheet.

“Oh my god, John. Carson, Carson, you can’t tell him. Really, you can’t tell anyone. I mean it. Patient-doctor confidentiality and all that. I need to think this through. Oh god, what will he say? He’s gonna freak. I’m so screwed. We’re not parent material. Oh god, he’s gonna hate me. No…no he won’t, he's responsible for this mess, too.”

Rodney needed to think. He needed to be alone to think. He turned to leave the infirmary, but was held back by Carson.

“Not so fast, Rodney. I don’t like the way you’re thinking about this baby of yours, but if you don’t want me to tell John, I won’t. But I think you should tell him – and soon. There is much to be discussed.” His tone was gentle but insistent.

He handed the pill bottles over and said, “Here, I’ve got some prenatal vitamins for you. Take one each day. The other ones are magnesium tablets, two each day. Don't lift anything heavy, eat more regularly and get lots of sleep. You will find that your body needs it,” he hesitated and Rodney knew whatever Carson was gonna say next, he wouldn’t like it.

“One more thing, Rodney. No more off-world missions…”

And that had been it. The life as he knew it – gone. Replaced by a life with rules and emotions he didn’t understand. It was terrifying. Rodney thought about how scared he still was. He knew that he hadn’t hidden it very well, so John was probably suspecting something was wrong by now. It was almost a miracle that he hadn’t called him on it – yet. But he would, after he'd read the letter Rodney had just typed.

Rodney sighed and reached into the desk drawer where he'd hidden the pills. He was glad that Carson and his team had managed to reproduce many of the medications they had had when Earth still existed. Vitamins, painkillers and antibiotics had been fairly easy while other, more complex medications had been difficult to substitute.

Rodney knew that had his pregnancy turned out to be something serious or rare, like Leukaemia – something the ancient equipment wasn’t fit to deal with – then his chances of surviving would have been slim. Because, while Carson and several other medical teams on several other planets had managed to reproduce and substitute a lot of stuff, chemotherapeutical medication definitely wasn’t among it.

Somehow Rodney didn’t feel as relieved as he probably should.

oooooOooooo

“You care to explain what that is?” John snapped, thrusting a sheet of paper at his startled husband. Rodney sighed inwardly and looked at John with as much patience as he could muster. At least they were in their private quarters for this conversation.

“I suppose that is my temporary resignation from the team? The letter I left at your office this morning? I thought it was rather self-explanatory. Is there anything about it you don’t understand, Colonel?”

“Don’t fuck with me on this, Rodney. I want an explanation. Why do you want off the team? What happened? The last time I checked you were happy with the team. If that wasn’t so, why didn’t you say anything? What the hell is wrong with you?”

There was so much hurt and betrayal in his angry voice that Rodney winced. He had known John would take this badly, that was why he hadn’t told him in person in the first place. But this – this wasn’t any easier now.

“It is what my letter says, Colonel. I temporarily resign from the team for personal reasons. It also says I plan on returning to off-world missions with SGA-1 at some point in the future. That is what temporarily means, by the way.”

“Personal reasons?” John snapped, face going red with anger. “What the fuck do you mean ‘personal reasons’? If there were personal reasons I’d know about it. Or is this how you want to play it? Am I talking to Dr. McKay now and not to Rodney? Is my husband hiding things from me now?”

Rodney swallowed. It was time to lay his cards on the table. “I didn’t do it to hurt you, John,” Rodney mumbled, lowering his eyes to the floor. He couldn’t look John in the eyes. He wouldn’t be able to say what he had to say if he looked at him.

“I didn’t think you did,” John snapped irritably. “But you've been hiding something from me for weeks now and I'm sick of waiting. I thought if I gave you time to tell me on your own you would, but…” He broke off and Rodney could see out of the corner of his eye that John was rubbing his face tiredly.

“It’s Carson’s orders. He’s forbidden me to go through the gate for now. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” Rodney admitted, painfully aware of the shocked intake of breath from John, when he mentioned the doctor’s name.

“Carson? Why the hell would he…?” John was kneeling in front of Rodney in an instant, searching his eyes. “Rodney, what's wrong? Damn it, talk to me!” He sounded breathless and scared and Rodney’s stomach clenched.

When John took his hands, Rodney avoided his eyes again and mumbled, “It’s nothing. I…I’m not sick. It’s just….I…I’m pregnant.”

Rodney heard John’s sharp intake of breath and the hands that had been holding his were pulled away.

“Pregnant?” John asked, shocked disbelief audible in his voice.

“Yes, pregnant. Surprise, surprise,” Rodney aimed for his usual, sarcastic tone, but failed miserably. He felt suddenly cold and empty.

“Pregnant,” John repeated, getting up again and beginning to pace. After a moment though, he took a deep breath, rubbed his hand over his face and asked tonelessly, “How long have you known?”

Confused, Rodney raised his head to look John in the eyes. He hadn’t expected that question.

“About two weeks,” he answered truthfully and watched John’s face harden.

“You’ve known two weeks? Two weeks and you didn’t think you should talk to me?” John snapped, obviously angry. “What the hell is wrong with you, Rodney?”

Rodney didn’t have an answer to that. How was he supposed to describe this feeling? This feeling of panic, of insecurity and fear that had him in a tight grip ever since Carson had told him he was expecting. How was he supposed to tell John what he hadn’t figured out himself yet?

Carson insisted part of it was pregnancy hormones and he would feel better once he had talked to John; but Rodney hadn’t believed him. His fears had been justified, it seemed. John wasn’t taking the news too well.

John had sat down on their bed now, elbows resting on his thighs, his head hanging low. “Do you want to get an abortion?” he asked flatly.

Rodney froze. His heart beat painfully in his chest, his throat suddenly tight.

“Is that what you want?” Rodney whispered, afraid of the answer. Yes, he had thought about abortion – for about one second. But he had also known that he couldn’t do it, would never be able to live with it. He might not have planned to have this child, but he would not kill it. Kill her. At the check up just this morning, Carson had told him they were going to have a daughter.

“I think it's what you want!” John snapped irritably. “I think it's the only reasonable explanation I can come up with. You’ve known for two weeks and didn’t say a word. So I assume you didn’t tell me because you were planning on getting rid of it without actually having to tell me. It’s the only thing that makes sense!”

“I don’t want to get rid of her, John! Damn it! I’m scared, okay? I’m really, really scared. We’re talking Wraith attack, Atlantis-blowing-up scared here, okay? But I’d never kill her. She’s part of you, how could I not love her? But…but I didn’t know how to tell you, didn’t know what to say. I know you don’t want to have children, but…”

“Wait, what?” John interrupted him, jumping up from the bed he’d been sitting on and came to stand in front of Rodney again. “What gave you the idea I don’t want to have children with you? Why would you think that?” He sounded genuinely confused and hurt to Rodney, which made him frown.

“On that planet, M21-976, back then, when we talked with the temple guards and they explained to us what had happened… When they said that it’s their way of…reproducing. You…you said that you hoped Carson could come up with a solution for this. That you’d rather not deal with any kids. That you couldn’t imagine being a father.” Rodney swallowed, the memories painful and sharp in his mind. “And later, when Carson told us the odds of me getting pregnant, you were so relieved that the chances of me conceiving were so slim… That we wouldn’t even have to use a condom to be safe…You looked so relieved. I guess I thought you’d freak if I told you…” Rodney trailed off, unsure as to how John would react.

“Oh, Rodney,” John sighed and reached for him. Rodney allowed himself to be pulled up and into the arms of his lover. “Back then, the uniform code had just been revoked, we’d just gotten together, Earth was gone. It was a hard time for all of us, the Wraith were still a very real and dangerous threat…” John broke off, obviously searching for words.

Rodney had seldom seen John this shaken up. There was so much vulnerability in his eyes, so much pain in his voice that it broke Rodney’s heart to see him like this. Usually, this kind of emotional upheaval was reserved to catastrophic events that resulting in psychological trauma to all of them. That he had indirectly caused it this time by not talking to John made Rodney’s gut tighten in guilt.

“Things were different, then,” John continued, his voice still full of pain and regret. “Of course I said I didn’t want to have children – at least not under those conditions. For one, there were enough children – quite a few of them orphans – and also, I didn’t want our child to be born into such a hostile and instable situation. Can you imagine what it would have been like to have a kid then?”

Yes, in fact, Rodney could. And he had to agree that it would have been an awfully bad idea. But things had changed. They were doing better now. Atlantis was a home for numerous families with children of all ages by now. The colonies were safe, the food supplies secured and the medical department was doing better than it had been in a long time. There was no reason not to have a child. Besides the fact that John still hadn’t told him he wanted to actually keep the baby.

“Rodney, I didn’t mean I never want to have a child with you,” John said at that moment, making Rodney release a breath he hadn’t been aware he was holding. “I hoped I could convince you to adopt, to have a family with me… but I wasn’t sure you would want that. You never said you wanted children and whenever we came across any children offworld, you didn’t look too thrilled…”

“Yeah, that's true, but that’s just because they weren’t ours,” Rodney finally interrupted John, pulling back a bit to look his partner in the eyes. “I’ve been told it’s different when they're your own – and it’s true, you know? I love this baby, John and I want it,” he clarified.

At that, John kissed him. “I’m glad we cleared that up. Because I really don’t know what I’d have done if you’d said you didn’t want it. I mean, I never thought we’d get into this situation in the first place. The odds were after all…what…? 2.473 billion to one? I’d call that a pretty small chance.”

“Yeah, only you could have managed that…” Rodney growled, suddenly feeling light-headed and happy. He snuggled up against John, enjoying the warmth of his embrace and his enticing scent. Despite the fact that they had just fought a few minutes ago, Rodney felt his body react to John’s closeness and his smell. Another secondary effect of his pregnancy – he got aroused more quickly lately than he had before. That, at least, was a pleasant change.

“So, you’re okay with me being pregnant?” Rodney asked carefully, needing to hear John say it. John’s eyebrows shot up and he smirked, “Okay with it? I’m more than okay with it, I’m thrilled. I can’t believe we’re really going to have a baby,” he grinned at Rodney and closed his arms tighter around him. Then something must have occurred to him, because he searched Rodney’s eyes. “You said ‘her’. Does that mean we’re going to have a daughter? Are you sure?”

Rodney snorted. “Yes, it’s a daughter, and of course I’m sure. The scan Carson did was quite clear. I’m sorry we’re not gonna have the little flyboy I’m sure you would have preferred, but it’s your own fault, you know? You were the one responsible for the gender…” Rodney teased. He had a feeling John didn’t mind a girl at all.

“Does that make you the woman in this marriage?” John asked and Rodney slapped his arm – hard.

“Stop teasing the pregnant scientist. I’m emotionally fragile, I’ll have you know!” Rodney pouted mockingly.

John just laughed.

oooooOooooo

It was bound to happen at some point, John supposed. He’d been told by several people that at one time or another, every pregnant woman had this phase and Rodney, despite being a man, was no exception. So when he came to their quarters that night and found Rodney sitting on the bed crying, clothes strewn all around him, John knew his turn had come. Pregnancy hormones at their best.

“Hey buddy, what’s up?” he asked, approaching Rodney slowly.

“I’m fat and ugly. I dunno why you even still want to look at me,” Rodney sobbed, clutching a uniform shirt to his chest.

“You’re not fat, you’re pregnant. And you’re most certainly not ugly, Rodney,” John said softly, sitting down beside his still sniffling partner. Rubbing Rodney’s back soothingly, he continued patiently, “What happened? What’s wrong? Did Carson say something?” John hoped Rodney’s physical had gone well and that this emotional outburst was just the result of pregnancy hormones rather than Carson telling Rodney he had gained too much weight.

“No, no Carson says I’m fine,” Rodney replied, rubbing a hand over his eyes angrily. “But I don’t feel fine! Look at me, John! I’m not walking, I’m waddling, I can’t bend down anymore and I can’t remember when I could see my feet last. I’m fat and…and…the pants I had altered just two weeks ago don’t fit already. I’m turning into a whale. A fat, ugly, disgusting whale,” Rodney cried again, burying his face in his hands.

John sighed. He didn’t really know what to do or say to make Rodney believe that he was as handsome and desirable as he’d always been. Taking a deep breath, John carefully pried Rodney’s hands away and cupped his face. “Listen to me, Rodney. You're not fat or ugly and you’re certainly not disgusting. You are pregnant. It’s normal that you can’t walk like you used to, or that you can’t see your feet anymore. You’re carrying our child,” John hoped he was getting through to Rodney. He really wasn’t all that good in the “talking about your feelings” department. Rodney looked at him, hope and insecurity alternately showing on his face. “But…” he started, but John put his finger to Rodney’s lips, preventing him from saying anything else. “No ‘but’, Rodney. I love the way you look. I love to feel our daughter move under my hands when I touch your belly. I love how your body changed to make it possible for you to carry her. Don't belittle yourself – and her – like this. You're perfect to me, even with the swollen ankles and mood swings.”

Rodney’s eyes grew wide and he whispered, “You mean that?” and John had to suppress a sigh. He was at a loss as to what more to do to make Rodney believe him.

“Yeah, I mean it,” he replied earnestly before claiming Rodney’s mouth in a tender kiss. To his delight, Rodney groaned. “You like that, huh?” John asked.

Rodney shot him a glare that said ‘of course I do, you idiot’ and leaned in for another kiss.

“I wanna touch you everywhere,” John whispered into Rodney's ear, feeling him shudder.

“If you must,” Rodney replied with a put upon sigh as he rubbed at his eyes one final time.

John just grinned and wiped all the clothes from the bed with one swift motion. He tugged at Rodney's shirt, taking it off, before he slowly lowered Rodney to the sheets. It was perfect. Pregnant or not, John knew he’d never tire of the sight of Rodney spread out on the bed like this. Rodney was just so sexy, and he was all John’s. His alone to love and cherish.

John was about to lean down and kiss Rodney’s chest, when he saw the insecure look in his eyes and noticed the way Rodney was placing his arms protectively over his belly. Silently cursing whoever was responsible for Rodney's deep-rooted insecurities regarding his body, he gently pried Rodney's hands away form his skin.

“Rodney, I meant it when I said I love your body. Don’t ever try to hide from me. You’re perfect just the way you are,” John had lost count how many times they had had this – or a similar – conversation over the last years. It had gotten better over time, Rodney believing John when he told him he was attractive, handsome even, in John’s eyes. But since Rodney had entered the last stage of his pregnancy and was experiencing all the symptoms that came with it, the situation had deteriorated. Rodney didn’t believe John could find him attractive – not when his ankles, hands and eyelids were swollen continuously, his stomach was huge and he was clumsy.

“I’m sorry,” Rodney whispered miserably. “You must be sick of repeating yourself.” Rodney avoided John's eyes and John sighed inwardly. He wished Rodney would just…believe him.

‘This isn’t working’ John realized and came to a decision. He stood from the bed and took off his clothes quickly, ignoring Rodney’s confused look. He then leaned down and stripped Rodney of his remaining clothes as well. John knew that his lover wasn’t comfortable standing for too long any more, but a few minutes would be fine, he supposed. Taking Rodney’s hand in his, John pulled lightly, saying, “Come on, Rodney, I want you to see something.”

Rodney looked at him questioningly, but complied and let John help him up from the bed.

John walked him over to the full-length mirror, coming to stand behind Rodney. His eyes found Rodney’s confused gaze in the reflection and John smiled. “I want you to have a look, Rodney,” John whispered into his ear. "See what I see."

“What am I looking at, John? What am I supposed to see other than a fat…”

John swiftly covered Rodney’s mouth with his hand, stopping the words. “You’re not allowed to say that. It’s not true anyway. In fact, I think I’ll do the talking and you just listen. Can you do that for me, Rodney?” John asked and smiled when Rodney nodded hesitantly.

“Good.” he took his hand away, letting it brush against Rodney’s chest when he did so.

“Did you know that your nipples show through your shirt sometimes? I like to look at you, imagining I'm taking off your shirt and running my tongue over them, making you squirm.” He gave Rodney’s nipples a gentle squeeze, making them harden to tiny nubs. Rodney gasped, but kept otherwise silent.

Satisfied with the result, John let his hand wander down Rodney’s ribcage, further down to his hipbone and then between his slightly parted legs. He brushed his fingertips over Rodney’s already erect cock and Rodney’s breath hitched. “What I like even more is your cock. The way you smell, the way you feel on my tongue when I suck you down my throat. I love making you come in my mouth, tasting you.”

John licked the ear he had been whispering into, moving his lips downward to nibble and suck at Rodney’s neck before he spoke again, “But best of all is when you fuck me. The way you stretch me, fill me up, make me whole. Makes me wish you could stay inside me forever.” He gave Rodney’s cock a gentle squeeze and Rodney jerked, colour high on his cheeks. “Look at you, Rodney,” John urged. “You’re so hot like this, all flushed and dripping. Ready for me to take you,” he squeezed again, more firmly this time.

“John…” Rodney growled, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

“Yes, Rodney?” John grinned, pleased by Rodney’s reaction. He knew Rodney had seen the lust on his face he hadn’t tried to hide.

“Fuck me, John. God, take me to bed and fuck me now,” Rodney demanded, pressing himself back against John so that John’s cock slipped between his ass cheeks.

“John hissed and grabbed Rodney’s hips with both hands. He pulled him back against his cock even harder, making them both moan. “I think that can be arranged,” he whispered and licked Rodney’s earlobe again.

Hugging and kissing they made their way to the bed, where John reached into the bedside drawer and took out the lube. He helped Rodney get settled comfortably on his left side, putting a pillow between his knees and finally spooning up behind him. It really was the only position that didn’t tire Rodney too much, but John didn’t mind. Nudging Rodney’s upper leg forward onto the pillow, John swiftly slicked his fingers and pressed them into Rodney’s body.

Rodney groaned, pushing back against the invading digits, murmuring, “Hurry up, need you in me.”

John kissed Rodney’s neck and slicked up his cock before he settled against Rodney again. Careful not to hurt his partner, he pushed slowly inside.

“I said hurry, damn it!” Rodney cursed, trying to speed up John’s movement. But John would have none of it. He wanted to enjoy the way Rodney felt around him, all slick and hot and tight. John gripped Rodney’s hips firmly, keeping him from impaling himself on John’s cock. It earned him a frustrated growl.

Finally, John couldn’t hold himself back any longer. The tight heat surrounding his cock, Rodney’s squirming, the way he clenched around him made John’s control slip. He reached around, fisting Rodney’s cock while speeding up his movements. Rodney hissed and John knew he was as close as John himself.

“Rodney!” John growled when the first waves for orgasm hit him. A moment later Rodney came as well, calling John’s name.

They came down slowly, John carefully slipping out of Rodney, mindful not to hurt him. Rodney sighed contentedly, snuggled up to John and promptly fell asleep. Smiling, John pressed a small kiss on Rodney’s shoulder blade and decided that clean up could wait until later.

oooooOooooo

Rodney knew something was wrong the moment the klaxon sounded and an unscheduled gate activation was announced. As expected, it was one of SGA-1’s IDCs. A feeling of dread settled over Rodney. The team wasn’t due to arrive for another six hours or so and it had been a first contact mission.

“Atlantis, this is Teyla, we’re coming in hot,” the breathless voice of his friend sounded through the gateroom and all around people jumped to action. A moment later Teyla and Ronon stumbled through the gate, dragging an unconscious John between them. Dr. Simmerman was right behind them.

Rodney’s stomach dropped. He hurried down the stairs as fast as he could in his state, totally oblivious of the shield being raised, a medical team being called and Dr. Simmerman almost collapsing from exhaustion. Rodney’s eyes were glued to the still form of his husband.

“John,” he whispered brokenly, cold fear building in his chest. “Teyla, what happened?” He demanded to know, clumsily dropping to his knees beside John, who was pale and drenched in sweat.

“He was hit by some kind of projectile. It looked like a dart and he lost consciousness shortly after…” her report was interrupted by the arrival of the medical team.

John was quickly lifted on a stretcher and Carson began to take his vitals, shouting orders to his staff. Right before they left the gateroom, he turned to Rodney and said, “It doesn’t look too bad, Rodney. He might be lucky and all it was is some sort of narcotic, designed to make it easier to capture him. We’ll know more after a few scans. Why don’t you follow us to the infirmary? You look exhausted. I’ll send someone with a wheelchair for you. Until then, try to stay calm, alright?” with that, Carson hurried after the others.

“I don’t need a wheelchair, I’m coming with you now,” Rodney insisted, but Carson didn’t pay him any further attention. Rodney didn’t care. He didn’t want to be apart form John for even a minute. He was pregnant, not sick, and if Carson thought he’d let himself be humiliated in front of all of the gateroom personnel, he was in for a surprise.

Cursing under his breath, Rodney slowly got to his feet again, ignoring Teyla’s outstretched hand. He didn’t need her help to get up. And if his belly went hard and his back ached, that was because he had worked too much again and not because of the pregnancy, he told himself firmly.

Catching his breath, Rodney ignored Ronon and Teyla’s concerned looks as he made his way to the infirmary. It took him longer than he liked and the backache and the strange pressure in his belly wasn’t helping any. It was really time for this pregnancy to be over. Carson had estimated that he had about six weeks to go. He couldn’t be sure since his pregnancy was developing at a faster rate than that of a human female – probably because the male body wasn’t made for childbearing in the first place. But no matter why, Rodney was ready for it to be over. His back was aching from the added weight, his feet hurt and he couldn’t sleep any more because his extended belly got in the way. To top it off, he was constantly hot and his skin itched because it was stretched so much. Rodney really didn’t know why women did this to themselves voluntarily. He was about to crawl out of his skin.

Cursing his inability to move at a decent speed, Rodney finally made it to the infirmary. “Carson, how is he?” Rodney asked the doctor the moment he set foot into the room. Carson looked up from his scans and frowned.

“Why are you not in a wheelchair, Rodney? You really shouldn’t overdo it. You’re doing yourself and John no favour if you collapse from exhaustion. You shouldn’t have walked here on your own. John won’t be happy once he wakes up,” Carson chided.

“I’m fine, Carson, just answer my question. How is he? You said he’ll wake up. So when is he gonna wake up?” Rodney snapped, deciding to ignore the wheelchair issue.

“He’s not hurt beside a few bruises. As I thought, the chemical in his bloodstream was meant to make it possible to capture him. It’ll wear off on its own very soon. He should be awake in a few hours. Why don’t you go get some rest? I’ll let you know when he wakes,” Carson’s voice was warm and reassuring, but it did nothing to calm Rodney’s nerves. John was lying in one of the nearby beds, hooked up to an IV, still looking pale and sweaty and Rodney had to swallow around the lump in his throat. He hated to see John like this. Helpless. Vulnerable.

Rodney felt his belly harden again, along with a strange pressure sensation. A moment later a sharp stab of pain erupted in his back. He suppressed a moan and reached back, rubbing that aching spot right above his tailbone with the heel of his hand.

“Rodney, what’s the matter? Are you in pain?” Carson asked, turning his attention away from John and focussing completely on Rodney.

“It’s nothing, just my back bothering me again. Nothing I haven’t dealt with for the last…oh, let’s see…three months,” Rodney snapped irritably. The pain in his back was worsening and he felt slightly queasy. Not that he would tell Carson that, thank you very much. It was bad enough that Carson insisted on hovering over him like a mother hen. No, John was more important than a bit of a backache and Rodney would do nothing that would take the doctor’s attention away from John.

“Carson, go away and bother someone else. I’ll be fine sitting beside John’s bed until he wakes,” Rodney snapped and Carson muttered something under his breath, but left.

Two hours later the pain in Rodney’s back was bad enough for him to consider asking Carson for a painkiller. The only problem was that Carson would make him leave the infirmary and lie down in his quarters – and Rodney didn’t want to leave John’s side.

Just when Rodney was about to give in and call for Carson, John stirred. He opened his eyes, blinked blearily and murmured, “What happened? M’ head hurts…”

“From what the team and Carson told me, the friendly natives weren’t so friendly after all. They shot you with a tranquilliser-dart and tried to capture you. No wonder you’ve got a headache from hell…” Rodney realized his tone might be a bit harsh but he couldn’t help it – he’d been so scared.

“No snapping at my patients, Rodney,” Carson’s voice sounded from behind him and Rodney turned around, startled.

“I wasn’t snapping, I was merely stating the facts. And he’s my husband, I can talk to him any way I like,” Rodney replied and decided now was a good time to get up from the chair and maybe ease the stabbing pain in his back a bit.

When he tried to stand though, a wave of white hot pain shot through his lower abdomen and his back, curling in his belly. He screamed in pain, legs almost giving under him.

Carson, who had been checking John’s pupils and was now adding something to John’s IV looked up, alarmed. “Rodney, what’s the matter? Sit down, damn it, you’re white as a sheet,” he snapped and Rodney obeyed instantly.

“Rodney?” John’s voice held the same concern as Carson’s voice and he struggled to sit up more, to get a better look at Rodney.

“Hurts,” Rodney brought out, suddenly finding that talking and breathing through the pain at the same time was quite a feat.

“I gathered that. Where does it hurt, Rodney?” Carson asked, gripping Rodney’s arm and guiding him to lie on the nearby bed.

“My back. And my belly. Feels strange,” Rodney answered, not happy about the fact that Carson had urged him to lie on his back to examine him. Being on his back worsened the pain.

After a moment of Carson prodding and poking around on Rodney’s back and belly, followed by a quick scan, the doctor addressed him again, an unhappy look on his face. “You’re in labour, Rodney, and not just since now. This must have been going on for a while. How long and why didn’t you just say something? You must have hurt quite a bit.”

“Had a backache since the gateroom. Wanted you to focus on John and didn’t want to leave him. Didn’t think it was serious,” Rodney panted, trying his best to breathe through the waves of pain.

“Oh for the love of…You are highly pregnant and you didn’t think pain in your back and abdomen was worth mentioning? What happened to ‘Carson I’m dying?’ or ‘Carson…’”

“You said I still had six weeks to go!” Rodney interrupted him and groaned in pain.

“But that was only…” Carson began but broke off, handing a hospital gown to Rodney. “Never mind, we’re not discussing this now. Change, so I can give you the epidural. I’ll have the OR ready when you’re done,” Carson said before hurrying off.

Rodney looked at the gown in his hand and then over to John. “We’re having a baby,” he said dazedly.

“Yes, Rodney, we are. And you really should have said something. I don’t like to wake up to you having an emergency c-section,” John chided. He looked completely awake now and seemed to be in a lot less pain. While Rodney watched, John lifted the blanket and obviously was about to get out of bed.

“Then she would have been here before you woke. And…hey! What are you doing?” Rodney hissed.

“Coming with you to the OR, like I promised. You’re not doing this alone,” John sounded determined and Rodney felt relieved and terrified at the same time.

Carson chose that exact moment to come back. “John, why are you not in bed?” he asked angrily.

“I’m feeling better already and I’m not leaving Rodney alone in this. We agreed I’d be there with him when Lilith is born.” John insisted stubbornly. “I’m not missing the birth of my daughter!”

Carson sighed.

oooooOooooo

“I can’t believe you’re going to cut me open while I’m conscious. Oh god, what have I agreed to?” Rodney was sure he sounded as scared as he felt. The epidural had numbed the lower half of his body and Carson had strapped him to the operation table. John was sitting by Rodney’s head, stroking his cheek.

“It’s going to be alright, Rodney, just relax,” John said, but Rodney couldn’t help the flare of panic that went through his body.

“John, you know I love you, right?” he asked, searching the eyes of the man he loved more than anything else.

“Rodney…” John started but Rodney interrupted him, feeling the need to say those things.

“No, John please, listen. I know this is a perfectly safe operation, but this is the Pegasus galaxy, alright? Things happen here. Things you didn’t expect, so please let me say what I gotta say, okay? I love you John. Marrying you, being with you is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You and now Lilith. So… if something should happen, tell her I loved her, please? Tell her I wanted her and I loved her from the moment I knew about her. Tell her…tell her she’s the most wonderful gift I’ve ever received. I hope I can tell her that myself but…” Rodney wanted to say so much more, but the strange tugging sensation that went through his body, followed by the wail of a newborn distracted him.

“Oh my god, she’s here,” John shouted, looking at the nurse who was approaching with their newborn daughter. Lilith was wrapped into a warm towel, her tiny pink face scrunched up in a frown. There was a shock of black hair on top of her head and Rodney couldn’t suppress a smile.

As he watched, a definitely teary-eyed John accepted the bundle from the nurse, bringing it close to Rodney’s face so he could see her better and kiss her little cheek.

She was trying to open her eyes, blinking just the tiniest bit, but was clearly bothered by the bright lights of the OR. A second later, the light dimmed and Lilith opened her eyes, looking at her father. Rodney felt tears well up in his eyes at the intense gaze of his beautiful daughter.

“What the hell?” Carson’s annoyed voice broke the spell. He stepped beside John and Rodney, looking stern.

“John, I’m aware of the fact that the baby is bothered by the light, but I actually need to see what I am doing here. I’m not done patching Rodney up yet, so would you please put the lights back to how they were? Thanks!”

Rodney eyed John, noticing his confused look. “I didn’t lower the lights, Carson,” he said to Rodney’s – and obviously Carson’s – great surprise.

“Neither did I. I’m actually interested in you seeing what you do,” Rodney hurried to say.

“But who…?” Carson began. Then his gaze fell upon the newborn.

Rodney could see the moment he figured it out.

Lilith!

“Oh great!” Rodney announced sarcastically. The other two just stared.

oooooOooooo

Epilogue

“How is she?” John asked Carson under his breath. They were standing beside the infirmary bed of a little girl they had brought with them from M45-291. She was about four years old and one of the few survivors of her village. When John and his team had arrived at the planet, they had found only a handful of children still alive. Carson later told them a virus was responsible for the death of all of the adults.

Melidea was the last of the children to be released from the infirmary since she had been dehydrated and weak when the team had found her. She was also the youngest of them.

“She’s as good as new, John, she’s just sleeping now. I’m going to release her as soon as she’s awake. Dr. Heightmeyer agreed to take her in until we find foster parents for her. I believe she said the other children have all settled in alright?” Carson looked at John for confirmation even though John was certain Carson knew the answer to that already.

“Yes, she’s found new homes for all of them here on Atlantis. So the kids can at least see each other every day,” John answered, looking down at the sleeping child again. She was pale, looking fragile and somehow lost between the sheets of the infirmary bed. Something in John’s chest tightened. It reminded him painfully of the times his own daughter had spent the night in one of those beds.

“How is she doing?” Rodney’s voice asked from behind him and John turned to see him walk into their direction.

“Carson says she’s fine. She’ll be released today. Kate is looking for new parents for her,” John answered, not knowing why he told Rodney all of that. It wasn’t as if this child was any different than the others before her had been. All of them had been released after being treated, and parents had been found for all of them. Nothing special about her, right? Only there was. She was special. None of the other children had evoked the emotions in John that Melidea had.

He could still remember seeing her standing there, in the door of her home, dirty face streaked with the traces of long dried tears, the thumb of her right hand in her mouth, the left arm clutching an equally dirty rag-doll to her thin frame. His heart had broken at the sight of her.

Coming to a decision, John fixed Rodney’s eyes with his. “Rodney…” he began, but was interrupted.

“I know what you’re thinking, John,” Rodney announced, looking smug.

“And what am I thinking, Rodney?” John asked, well aware of the fact that his partner most probably really had the same thoughts as he had had himself.

“I think you want to give Lilith the sister she's been asking for. You want us to take her in, adopt her,” Rodney said without hesitation.

John took a deep breath, feeling Carson’s curious gaze on his face. “Yes, that’s exactly what I want. Would you be okay with that?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

The end.